Jack Monroe #137 NarcLife by Bootstrap Crook

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I wonder whether the mystery orzo with cat poo recipe which she deleted from insta was meant to be the third one for Linda McCartney?
 
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A bit clunky in places but tbf it is the ‘difficult second single’.

Seaside House

Seaside dweller
Book’s not doing stellar
Thought to herself, “Oops, I need a lot of money”
Mind like a maverick phoney

She’s a professional trickster
But her heart's like the liver
We’re paying the price, she’s living life at the limit
Playing out the fictional anxiety

Yes, she preys on them
She's looking grim
Try the grifter life

She lives in a house, a very big house by the seaside
Watching chaotic repeats
About the slop she tweets
By the seaside
She takes all manner of shills
To help her pay the bills
By the seaside
Oh, there’s tattooed arms and
Lots of changeable charm
By the seaside

She's got morning glory
There’s now a different story
Everything's going Jackanory
Helped by her own duplicity
She can’t read Balzac
It’s too complex for our Cack
A dismissive hand
Unless you’re blue-ticker brand
Oh it's her usual remedy

For the faint at heart
Better not start
Try the tip jar

She lives in a house, a very big house by the seaside
She's got a floof on her chest
So she needs a dino rest
By the seaside

She doesn't drink smoke laugh
Takes anyone’s cash
By the seaside
But you could come to harm
If you don’t keep up the smarm
By the seaside

By the seaside, by the seaside, by the seaside

Help, help me out
I am so tired, I don't know why
Help, help me out
I am so poor, I don't know why

She lives in a house, a very big house by the seaside
Watching chaotic repeats
About the food she tweets
By the seaside
She takes all manner of shills
To pay the bills
By the seaside
Oh, there’s tattooed arms and
Lots of changeable charm
By the Seaside
 
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A vegan insta account with 27.7k followers has posted this on the Linda McCartney butter sausages recipe.

Screen Shot 2021-01-20 at 16.12.06.png
 
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Would love to see some vegan influencer group chats as it seems a couple of them have made comments and there is reference to addressing "our issues"...

End of the day she made a lot of money off the back of veganism and then went back to consuming low welfare aninal products. It's not on, is it.
 
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We've been unfair to Jack. She does in fact have a lot of firefighting experience - every day she's trying to put out ones she's started.
 
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A bit clunky in places but tbf it is the ‘difficult second single’.

Seaside House

Seaside dweller
Book’s not doing stellar
Thought to herself, “Oops, I need a lot of money”
Mind like a maverick phoney

She’s a professional trickster
But her heart's like the liver
We’re paying the price, she’s living life at the limit
Playing out the fictional anxiety

Yes, she preys on them
She's looking grim
Try the grifter life

She lives in a house, a very big house by the seaside
Watching chaotic repeats
About the slop she tweets
By the seaside
She takes all manner of shills
To help her pay the bills
By the seaside
Oh, there’s tattooed arms and
Lots of changeable charm
By the seaside

She's got morning glory
There’s now a different story
Everything's going Jackanory
Helped by her own duplicity
She can’t read Balzac
It’s too complex for our Cack
A dismissive hand
Unless you’re blue-ticker brand
Oh it's her usual remedy

For the faint at heart
Better not start
Try the tip jar

She lives in a house, a very big house by the seaside
She's got a floof on her chest
So she needs a dino rest
By the seaside

She doesn't drink smoke laugh
Takes anyone’s cash
By the seaside
But you could come to harm
If you don’t keep up the smarm
By the seaside

By the seaside, by the seaside, by the seaside

Help, help me out
I am so tired, I don't know why
Help, help me out
I am so poor, I don't know why

She lives in a house, a very big house by the seaside
Watching chaotic repeats
About the food she tweets
By the seaside
She takes all manner of shills
To pay the bills
By the seaside
Oh, there’s tattooed arms and
Lots of changeable charm
By the Seaside
Amazing!
 
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I wonder whether the mystery orzo with cat poo recipe which she deleted from insta was meant to be the third one for Linda McCartney?
I'm about 99% certain the cat poo was Linda (RIP)'s poor violated bangers- that is NOT what she would have wanted. I'm hoping Paul McCartney pops up on the Linda McCartney Insta to demand Jack stop insulting his late wife's memory.
 
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I'm about 99% certain the cat poo was Linda (RIP)'s poor violated bangers- that is NOT what she would have wanted. I'm hoping Paul McCartney pops up on the Linda McCartney Insta to demand Jack stop insulting his late wife's memory.
Sorry to be that witch but can anyone find the photo or signpost me to the thread it was in? I can't recall seeing it but all her slop does blend into one big pile of non-newtonian fluid tbh.
 
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This MBE thing has to be a lie that Jack told that has spiralled out of control 😂

And Boyo, I LOVE that you didn't need to change the Jackanory lyric and I will sing it every time we get a newly embellished version of The Poverty. Big fan of your body of work ☺
 
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So Jack is not non binary & yet she is part of an LGBT webinar. And she’s not vegan and yet she’s part of veganuary on Linda McCartneys social media. Ffs.
 
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