Jack Monroe #132 Leader of the Slopposition

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Jay? NO! Run for the hills.

There's no way she's going to see this through without spoffing it
Yes, whatever it is she's taking they are not working.

I know quite a bit about the process as I have ADHD and am going through tests to ensure the medication I would like to try is safe for me. This is all being done under medical supervision.
 
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Wouldn't you just ask the paper to donate directly and send you the receipt?
 
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I need to know more about the totally not made up big mac from a bin story.
Did she begin eating the bigmac then chuck it out, only to retrieve it later?
Did she pass a bin in the street and think “by golly there is a bloody whole bigmac in there, and i’m going to eat it!”
Or was she lurking in the shadows outside Mcdonald’s, watching for anyone who didn’t finish their food waiting to fish it out of the bin the moment they threw it out?
 
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You can’t know because...her GRANDADS DEAD!
 
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Marcus Rashford: having constructive conversations with the hairy blancmange who is supposed to be in charge of the country. Tweeting measured, well thought out messages and positively engaging.

Jack: "I'm ready for my close up" etc etc etc
 
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Link? We can have canal pile on
 
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There are two versions of the Big Mac bin story: one where she ate it and one where she *almost* ate it.
 
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Yes and it would be a great thing to talk about from her slopbox, but she does no research and doesn't know anything beyond the hammock in the garden. If ideas like this were given more airtime people would have something tangible to ask for that is actually happening somewhere else. It happened with furlough when people realised that other countries were providing something similar for people!

Just seen Boris has called Rashford. Why hasn’t he called Jack?
Because two egotistical dickheads on one phone call would rip a giant hole in the space-time-bikinipics continuum.
 
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Marcus Rashford: having constructive conversations with the hairy blancmange who is supposed to be in charge of the country. Tweeting measured, well thought out messages and positively engaging.

Jack: "I'm ready for my close up" etc etc etc
Marcus Rashford: "Well I grew up poor so I understand how important it is that kids have access to good food to help them stay healthy and achieve in school..."

Jack: "I ate a Big Mac out a bin!"

Marcus Rashford: "So I've been speaking to politicians and the catering contractors to ensure that all children have access to good quality food"

Jack: "I served booze in my pants- there are pictures!!!!!!"
 
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I know, there are virtually no gay women with successful media careers. Oh no, wait, that's not it.
 
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Pie jesus what a shitshow! She's morphed into wacko jacko with that smoothing tool. Even unedited she looks unrecognisable. Who ever mentioned naso labial folds is a genius. She's smoothed her unruly labia out.

'My rent bounced' reads in the same tone as she 'left/my grandad is dead'. She deflects criticism with another woe is me excuse.

The dissenting squiggles have an excellent point. It's clear Jack does not want a proper job. She has been apparently campaigning for 7 years with no result. Maybe it was deliberate so as to keep her in the role she is accustomed to. She sure as fuck does not care about anyone living in poverty.
 
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Thanks for bringing this up, this is the bit where most people (including me at the time) just didn’t pay enough attention to. Literally none of her first press stories added up.
When I saw the bikini tweet, I was waiting for her to go 'I'm releasing these MYSELF so I can't be BULLIED by your smear campaign'
There’s still time, dear heart! You know how she does a total abominable attention-seeking chaos once in a while? The black eye, the fake Covid etc etc etc. One day, when she’s well and truly boiled, she’ll post those pictures and say that she was tipped off by some newsroom BFF (Krish, mate) that the “gutter press” were going to leak them, so she’s getting in first bla bla.

I was reading something the other day that said something along the lines of ‘only prudes enjoy hen party style sex jokes’. This is so Jack, constantly going on about her drawer full of cocks, her “fuck me” meals (that are shit), and her unruly labia. Yet, somehow seems to feel that serving drinks whilst scantily clad, in your twenties, is some kind of scandal. Jack, babe, you ain’t lived!
 
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OMG, you've just reminded me that I was told that there was a photograph of me stuck up on the wall of a Senior Rates Mess that I've never been to. I was posing in a pin up style with a ship's name buoy while dressed as a St Trinians schoolgirl, mini skirt, stilettos, black stockings and all, for a fancy dress party at a completely different place in a different country .... A lot of us have photos out there from our past!
 
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