Jack Monroe #125 Tweeted it, completed it, deleted it

[LennyBriscoe]

I *literally* thought I would never catch up! Pesky work has been keeping me BUSY.

I don’t know if it’s heightened when you read a lot of threads at once but that was some intense tit! The COVID, the cold chippy tea, the abduction, the Daily Express article (I bet JO is sleeping much better after her apology)...but in all seriousness, for the first time I really contemplated stepping away from the thread. The Long COVID stuff was bad enough but the picture with the headscarf was beyond disgusting. It blows my mind that she thought ‘what can make me seem more vulnerable and sympathy-inducing? Ooh a head scarf’. I think she’s ill but it’s not COVID she’s suffering from.

Hogmanay tomorrow, can’t wait to see what Jock McMonroe has in store. Well it’s her spiritual home after all, it would be rude not to mark the occasion...

 

[matchakitkat]

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all while looking conventionally attractive in ‘nice’ underwear... but sure, beer and bacon. The OG Jack thirst trap?!

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Remember when she booted the doors of the train for some reason? Something to do with PTSD I think? But her cringe tweets got made into a Metro article, how she doesn’t shudder herself into a cringe coma is beyond me

Was it her who lied about social distancing on LNER? I can’t remember...

 

[appleskin]

Oh no, I wasn't laughing at you calling it designer, I was laughing that Jack thought it was. So much so, she implied that it meant she couldn't be "white trash" if she was carrying one.

no worries

What's make it's an odd thing to say is new money people that cover themselves in designer labels would be called trash too - money does not make people smarter, more responsible, better parents etc than people with less money

ETA - just to highlight, calling people dressed in head to toe in designer clothing trashy isn't right, just making the point some people would call others names regardless of their bank balance

 

[JuliaGulia]

Haha like so
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Exack'ley!

Ordered one of those when it was posted 10 days back - will be the picture behind me for Teams calls! Can't remember who it was, but thanks for the inspiration

Mine is on the wall in my living room

 

[Incywincy]

I don’t know if it’s heightened when you read a lot of threads at once but that was some intense tit!

Oh, it absolutely is. My grunk was binge and pause, binge and pause. Hard going. But the last few threads have been especially.. infuriating and very fast paced!

 

[ToonCats]

Ooooh yes! The Breakdown online magazine.

Thanks, that's it! I wonder if she's done any...

 

[Captainmouse]

I know we're not supposed to insult appearances, but this has to be said. Jack has the hands of a middle-aged male manual labourer. I have never seen anything like it on a young woman. Why does she insist on photographing them in most of her food shots?

Edit because I'm feeling abit guilty: everyone has their worst features, and Jack's are her hands. She is otherwise fairly attractive, and this is more a comment on her lack of self-awareness of why she is centering her worst physical feature alllll of the time.

Her feet are none too brilliant either

 

[kachoochoo]

in honour of The To Do List's two (2) month birthday, here it is in full as of tonight.

the stats are:

there are eighty six (86) items here (I started numbering them, but realised it ruined the alphabetisation). in the interest of fairness I need to declare that these include many, many promised items from before 2 months ago

there are nine (9) items that have earned a green tick for completion.

google tells me I have worked it out that that is 10.47% of her projects completed.

Spoiler: Jack's Coming Soons

£15 a week lunches
£20 shops as a whole
9 half-written manuscripts
35 recipes from a £20 shop, pick your fave
2000 words for print glossy GQ awards
advent calendar
aged chicken thigh bone stock
base system going in next book
BBC show
big press photo shoots
BLM video monetization donation
blog post excited about for ages
book on culinary history
book signing in Belfast
books for slow cooker appeal
Brand New System for desk - wallpaper
Camp Kitchen from the shed
chestnut fudge thing
chicken livers
comic filter security
Conditions of Bungalow Bubbling lessons
curating regular book recommendations
David Walliams book reviews
dauphinoise pie
depressipes
detailed blog on nutrition
devilled eggs recipe - completed it, mate
ethical on a budget
festive pop tarts
festive vegan loa
food truck of joy
gailymail
great resources by trans + non binary writers
greek cook book
half-written budget xmas recipes
handing over her platform to poc
healthy on a bootstrap
helping disability and mental health writers
history of York road market
homemade hand sanitiser
huge depop or Ebay sale
James Bond conspiracy theory
Klingon gagh recipe
knit blanket
kombucha whisky
lever arch files of fan mail
links to small businesses
lockdown larder 2.0 resumption threatened
militant boiled eggs
mince pie doughnuts
mushroom drying completed 2018
newspaper campaign the bleeping express
onion chopping song
ouchy mouth recipes
patreon update
pistachio milk
postcards, postcards, postcards
poverty memoir
puttanesca soup
radish recipes
recipe roundup on Instagram
recipes for small people
red ephemera soup recipe
repotting spider plants from a friend
rooting out Amazon from website

running around in heels with a Tall Man GQ awards 2020. no evidence of running or dancing, but Marcus is tall. she didn't even personally hand him the award.

sausage and kale slop
Secret Ingredient - possibly banana skin
secret stock ingredient potato water
setting her teenage musings to music
shopping trolley
sideboard photos reason
sleep hygiene routine
slow cooker xmas dinner - before xmas 2021
some kind of timetable for SB in lockdown
super secret shopping trip hack
supper nanny
sweet and sour soup
sweet potato caramel
thrifty shades of beige - some sent, ongoing
tomato soup water content - done
translation of a Greek Cypriot cookbook
unorthodox cheese sauce - done
vegan char sui buns
vegan crackling
vegan pastisio in collab with veganuary
vegan pie glaze
weekly routine

/SPOILER]

 

[_blank_]

How dare someone insinuate Jack is cured! Funny how she has totally ignored the fact taste is largely dependent on smell...

 

[Alansbigplate]

It was a story doing the rounds back in the 90's. He supposedly shoved it where the sun don't shine. No doubt it was a made up story and on reflection, not very nice of me to repeat it now he has died.

Maybe it was so he could say hello from the other side

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

"Red Ephemera Soup Recipe" kills me every time!

 

[Charitas]

Given that many of us are again home schooling for at least two weeks the £15 school lunches would be useful

 

[HotesTilaire]

I know we're not supposed to insult appearances, but this has to be said. Jack has the hands of a middle-aged male manual labourer. I have never seen anything like it on a young woman. Why does she insist on photographing them in most of her food shots?

Edit because I'm feeling abit guilty: everyone has their worst features, and Jack's are her hands. She is otherwise fairly attractive, and this is more a comment on her lack of self-awareness of why she is centering her worst physical feature alllll of the time.

On a grunk my apologies if it was already covered, she has attributed the skin to her having EDS and it does seem to be the truth. However she claims the colouring is due to her Mediterranean arse heritage when it’s clearly a filter which colours all of the pictures.

It was a story doing the rounds back in the 90's. He supposedly shoved it where the sun don't shine. No doubt it was a made up story and on reflection, not very nice of me to repeat it now he has died.

Oh, I heard that story about David Beckham. I think there was some other team mate nominated to “call” the number? Somebody I knew, knew it was true as the phone was kept in a safe at the News of the World as evidence. If that’s not proof then what is?

 

[Minky McMoneypenny]

On a grunk my apologies if it was already covered, she has attributed the skin to her having EDS and it does seem to be the truth. However she claims the colouring is due to her Mediterranean arse heritage when it’s clearly a filter which colours all of the pictures.


Oh, I heard that story about David Beckham. I think there was some other team mate nominated to “call” the number? Somebody I knew, knew it was true as the phone was kept in a safe at the News of the World as evidence. If that’s not proof then what is?

Laughing at the NOTW phone-in-safe bit - imagine being the person given the job of clearing the office (and safe) when the NOTW closed.

 

[Againagainagain]

Just been told off by Mr Againagainagain for laughing out loud at traingate and waking the toddler.

 

[PoorPatrol]

How dare someone insinuate Jack is cured! Funny how she has totally ignored the fact taste is largely dependent on smell...

Oh shut up DOCTOR Squiggle, what do you know?

 

[Nahhh]

Everyone shhhhhh the honours list is out!

 

[Minky McMoneypenny]

#KickstarterKhaos
From the comments section

 

[moosesauna]

She truly am.
Ailments so far include:-
ADHD (severe)
Alcoholism
Allergies-tomatoes, onions, shellfish
Anaphylaxia
Anorexia
Anxiety
Arthritis
Asthma
Borderline diabetes
BFRB
Broke 46 or 47 bones in her foot
Broken toe
Burnout (severe)
Chilblains
Concussion (severe)
Depression
Disfigured legs
Distended ribs
EDS
Eye injury (see @BeautifulTrauma)
Fucked up lungs - death rattle
Gifted (diagnosed)
Hair loss
Hayfever (severe)
Heart problems
Heart attack
Hyper sensitive (wrists )
Immuno compromised
Mouth ulcers and ouchy mouth (severe)
Panic attacks
Port wine stains
PTSD
Scarring
Sexual abuse
Sprained shoulder
Sprained thumb (washing up injury)
Trauma
Unruly labia
Violence (?)
Weakened knees
Whiplash (severe) 🥱

I'm sorry but I definitely read 'ouchy mouth' in the voice of a petulant 5 year old...