Jack Monroe #117 Exit through the grift slop

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1. Clark’s is not posh. OK, she may not have been able to afford Clark’s shoes at the time, but it is not posh. She is doing her “I have always been this working class urchin” thing, which is irritating beyond belief. However, Russell and Bromley is posh and she has admitted to having numerous pairs of those shoes, currently retailing at around £200 each.

2. Why is she boiling already cooked kidney beans?

3. There are two instances of her using cold oil to “fry”. Once at the start with the onion (which she does at the same time as the grated carrot- surely the carrot is mush by the time the onion is soft?) and then again with the finished burgers. Why, cabal, why?

4. Last time the jam thing was mentioned it was 7p. Now this is small but sticks out. Why does her story change slightly each time? I will leave the answer hanging like a ripe peach on a tree waiting to put in a curry of dreams.
I really like shoes. Clarks is sensible and good quality and pay a reasonable price but not glamorous. Russell and Bromley is out of my price and solely for looking at longingly. I earn a reasonable wage and shoes are a treat but Russell and Bromley are not ever realistic for me.
 
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Jack's made it into the Scottish Local Retailer mag.

gosh i bet jude law will see this article and think to himself 'i wish i'd just sat down and let Jack Monroe see redcar, my career could have sky rocketed if we'd become friends'
 
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Jack's made it into the Scottish Local Retailer mag.

This is Jack's face. Her real, normal face.
She isn't a 12 year old pixie boy child.
 

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on what planet is this an appetising bowl of food

if you're making a spicy asian style broth surely the joy is in all the fresh and flavourful toppings like spring onions or chillies or kimchi or coriander or sesame seeds or ANYTHING other than floating chunks of raw onion
It’s so... brown. I have never seen a noodle soup that’s uniformly brown before.
 
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No DKL retrospective would be complete without her bursting onto the live cooking scene with this. 25 minutes onwards - look away at 30 minutes. 😱






P.S. Thinking about it, we should have had a 'Best DKL Clip' in The Sloppies. "Have you ever grown beans?" award-winning gardener, Adam Frost.
Omg!! I’ve never seen this! That ‘sauce’!!!!! 😮😮😮😮😱😱😱😱😱😱
 
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This is Jack's face. Her real, normal face.
She isn't a 12 year old pixie boy child.
And there's nothing wrong with it. All her face tuning makes me think that deep down she can't stand herself. It's really quite sad. If she wasn't exploiting others and lying all the time, I'd feel sorry for her.
 
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I have a friend who last year was pregnant and suffered blood clots in her legs (DVT)
Thankfully both she and her baby are fine, but when she was in hospital she took up knitting as a hobby.
She hadn't done it before so can only do squares. She just had piles of squares and didn't really know what to do with them until she saw a woman on Twitter who decided to knit a scarf by doing one row every day.
Each day is knitted in a colour depending on the weather/temperature.
My friend took inspiration from this and has made a really lovely blanket using the red to blue colour scheme according to the weather.
Jack's squares are just tit in comparison
My fave knitting story was about a female councillor (can’t remember where I’m afraid) knitted a green and red scarf. She did one green row every time a man spoke in a meeting and one red row every time a woman spoke. She barely needed the red wool.

I can’t remember where I read this sadly...
 
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From 25 minutes in I haven’t stopped cringing

-Matt saying ‘you can’t make a worse white sauce than I made on tv a couple of weeks ago’ Jack...yes I can.
-‘I’ve just been rushing ahead and now you’ve stopped talking’
-‘You can use any mushroom’. Proceeds to go through about ten different mushrooms
-‘You can use any flour or milk. Even plant based or buckwheat flour’

How the actual hell is she a cook?!
I'd never actually watched it before, but was feeling strong this evening.
I have now turned my whole body inside out from cringing.

Does she actually say that she likes leftover lasagne in a PIE?
 
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Oh wow, “now that you’ve stopped talking”.
WHAT. It’s like a wee school girl who has just overstepped the familiarity line with their favourite teacher.
That white sauce is awful, a true crime and I would have LOVED to have known the producers reactions to it.
 
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I wonder if she'll start calling herself an "Ambassador" for Del Monte, like so may influencers do when they're paid to flog a product.

She's the Henry Kissinger of pineapple slices. With this tinned mandarin, she is really spoiling us
 
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on what planet is this an appetising bowl of food

if you're making a spicy asian style broth surely the joy is in all the fresh and flavourful toppings like spring onions or chillies or kimchi or coriander or sesame seeds or ANYTHING other than floating chunks of raw onion
If it isn’t the same everytime, then you are obviously doing something different. And if she really understood flavours, she would be able to ascertain what. 🙄
 
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on what planet is this an appetising bowl of food

if you're making a spicy asian style broth surely the joy is in all the fresh and flavourful toppings like spring onions or chillies or kimchi or coriander or sesame seeds or ANYTHING other than floating chunks of raw onion
It can't be that good if she's not greedily eating it out of the pan like a ferocious lion.
 
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The way she was flapping about in that kitchen on DKL didn't really spell 'professional food person'.

Compared with for example Nadia form Bake Off who now has a tv and book career from her first appearance on tv in 2015, it is strange she doesn't seem to have progressed over the years.
Nadia's biography have me proper eye wets, Jack could do with reading what it's really like to grow up relatively poor
 
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This is Jack's face. Her real, normal face.
She isn't a 12 year old pixie boy child.
It's amazing that her superfans don't see this, or perhaps they do, but then it's even more incredible that there isn't more of a point made about someone who claims to be 'body positive' whilst simultaneously photo-shopping the absolute duck out of herself online. Why do people protect and defend her bullshit, it's weird..
 
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Tanks Jack
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#militaryroundtheedges #daddysarmymedals #fuckingtory
My eyes have just glazed over reading all that again. From memory, the tank chat went on all afternoon and evening, then she did a flounce when a squiggle dared to mention the problems caused by asparagus farming. Jack had used it in some dish or other during BB's cooking lessons (whatever happened to them by the way?) and didn't appreciate one of the plebs raining on her parade of having Done Something Nice. Then in the process of stomping off to bed in a mard she somehow gave herself an ouchy foot on some broken glass (again). Just another day on the Monroellercoaster.
 
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on what planet is this an appetising bowl of food

if you're making a spicy asian style broth surely the joy is in all the fresh and flavourful toppings like spring onions or chillies or kimchi or coriander or sesame seeds or ANYTHING other than floating chunks of raw onion
I used to walk to work through Soho v early, pre street cleaning team, so I’ve met this dish before...on the floor, up the walls, splattered in a Pret A Manger doorway, sometimes even in a discarded takeaway box... nice for Jack to take it home with her ♻
 
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Ah asparagus and fancy cheese, BB’s contribution #gifted. The beginning of the end of the £20 shop.
 
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An underrated bit of the DKL horse spunk lasagne episode that I love is Matt asking ‘how much trial and error’ is involved in her ‘unorthodox’ recipes and she says ‘one and done’ in a really smug fashion. Matt’s tone saying ‘really’ suggested that he was both unimpressed and not surprised.

Entire segment is passive aggression personified from ‘now you’ve stopped talking’ to ‘no I’ve never done that before in my life, Matt’ (on boiling lasagne sheets-presumably asked for the audience’s benefit). I think he would have preferred to have a competition winner in with him.
 
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