Jack Monroe #117 Exit through the grift slop

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Same way you get one for autism and ADHD I’d imagine.

When child was in primary they dragged me in to tell me she was dyslexic and then proceeded to provide her with all sorts of coloured sheets (that we didn’t use at home. ) I told them it was bollocks.
She then did year 2 SATS and got 100% on the English and we had a very awkward parents evening.
She just hated the teacher. Teachers don’t know everything.

 

[Lanie]

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.th...tyle/2013/dec/04/jack-monroe-budget-christmas


Found the other Christmas dinner same starter.

She’s costed in 2kg of potatoes, and then only cooked 1kg of them, which is about one potato per person if she’s feeding six. We eat AT LEAST four each.

It's like the bottom Christmas special
Rich: one potato or two?

Spudgun: 2 please.

Rich: no ONE?

Burnt potato hits plate.

Spudgun: I've changed my mind, none!

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

View attachment 343308
This is the tip of the iceberg. And if you just search by author, there are thaaaaaazzzends.

Jack Monroe:. tit at Google

Another Conroe trick then?

 

[Terrible]

She’s costed in 2kg of potatoes, and then only cooked 1kg of them, which is about one potato per person if she’s feeding six. We eat AT LEAST four each.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

How does one obtain a diagnosis of gifted?

Get people to send arse kissing letters
More likely she was diagnosed as a huge pain in the arrrrse.

 

[blurstoftimes]

guys i have obtained exclusive access to the inner workings of Jack's mind. This is how she sees SB and herself at christmas

 

[Walnutss]

Can a better chef than me work out how many potatoes you would get with Jack's recipe? Sorry if this had already been said I missed it. I think christmas day I would make 6 for adults 4 for granny 3 for the kids?

 

[Smeghead]

I worked out a very crude very basic very uninteresting Christmas dinner that a possible skint person could use to feed their family.

Roast chicken £3
Gammon joint 2.99
Potatoes 1.50
Carrots. 0.49
Parsnips. 0.49
Brussels ( frozen) 1.00
Pigs in blankets 3.00
Loaf of bread 50p
Pate 1.00

Dessert
Ice-cream 1.00
Chocolate gateau 1.00

Approx 16.00 and a three course dinner. Coated from Tesco and roughly based on my Christmas dinners as a kid. We didn't like fruit cake etc. We also had turkey as it was part of my dad's Christmas bonus.

We always had plenty to eat too as the turkey my dad got was massive and my mum splashed out for Christmas dinner and snacks. Like I said this was a very crude example.

You must be exhausted pulling all that together. And it’s not even your job

 

[RosieRoo]

Herb rant incoming!! Why does she insist on putting dried mixed herbs into everything?! All the food will end up tasting of.....dried mixed herbs. I have just got back from my weekly Aldi shop and fresh cut herbs are around 40p per packet. I use fresh herbs in cooking but my mum comes from the generation that seems to think herbs are something to be scared of although saying this her roasts are amazing even without them.

 

[MooBelle]

She’s costed in 2kg of potatoes, and then only cooked 1kg of them, which is about one potato per person if she’s feeding six. We eat AT LEAST four each.

If I gave my lot one roastie each they'd riot.

 

[waffle maker]

Just read the meal plan and want to vom. Given her growing obsession with it I wouldn't be surprised if she wrapped up blocks of lard and gave them as Christmas presents this year. As an actual veggie (i.e. not claiming to be one in order to cash in on a trend while shoving cheap, low-welfare meat in my gob at every opportunity), if I went to the crappy bungalow for dinner it would probably be the most miserable Christmas I've ever had (and I lost a parent a few Christmases ago). Making a big song and dance about your fabulous veggie/vegan main is pointless when literally everything else on the menu has lard or cheap bacon in it. Surprised this didn't occur to the 90% vegan given how hard she worked on it.

Agreed. I’m the only non vegetarian in our house so I hardly eat any meat. It’s possible to do an amazing roast for cheap with no meat except the actual joint: roast potatoes with sunflower oil, stuffing balls, cranberry sauce, bread sauce, seasonal veg, bistro gravy is vegetarian, Yorkshire puddings. My husband is a great vegetarian cook and he usually does a pie or something to go with the sides. It’s a dead cheap meal without the meat too, so you could get a nice turkey, and then go with mince pies and custard and a cheese board (cheap if you hold your nerve until Christmas Eve) should be enough left for some crackers and a bottle of cheap fizz. Where’s my spot in The Express please?

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

As long as you do something fun with it afterwards.

Do you have a rabbit who needs his cage lined or a cat whose litter tray needs a base?

That's cruelty to animals. They deserve better for littering on.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Just had another look at that stuffing recipe... Why does she boil the onions whole and chop them up afterwards?? Just...why?!

 

[bazzam]

If I gave my lot one roastie each they'd riot.

we have roast potatoes and mash

 

[Tabitha D]

She’s also said remarkably little about St Giles Trust in that article. You don’t get a clear idea of what they do and who they help, and how. I hope there is at least a little side box telling you more, and how you can donate if you wish to, because otherwise there’s not much point in the charity being involved at all.

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

With Jack, it'll either be how to make the gravy - get the gravy granules and make according to instructions.

Or

Make chicken thighs stock by slow cooking for 3 days. Add in onion, lemon, tamarind, paprika and dill (or mint if you don't have any- or rosemary- or anything really. Any herb will do.) Blend it all together, add in stuffing crumbs and slow cook for another day.

But, but... you forgot the kale!

 

[HotesTilaire]

It’s been said but I’m fed up of everything being cooked in animal fat or having bacon in. Half the time veggies get offered bloody risotto for Sunday lunch as you can’t even have the roast-without-the-meat since everyone started doing spuds in goose fat. Really grates my carrot.

 

[Lanie]

You must be exhausted pulling all that together. And it’s not even your job

Gosh I had to have four naps, two lay downs and a rest after costing it all. I still need a sit-down in my reading corner. ( That doesn't exist)

 

[Icing _on_ the_cake]

But, but... you forgot the kale!

and the lard....

 

[Satisfying Click]

If you read the article like satire, it helps. You can tell where Jack really insisted: working-class family, rented house, diagnosed as gifted, WTF

What really annoyed me though was the mention of her raising her son single-handedly. He has a father who was never absent. They may not share the same household, but SB's dad didn't abandon his son, deny him, or die.