Jack Monroe #115 I can’t work out the timeline

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I think C.

As talk about her is so closely moderated, such as on Mumsnet where any thread about her is swiftly Zapped - or on her own SM where anybody daring to be even slightly critical, is almost instantly blocked, there’s never any opportunity for the dear Squiggles to join up the dots, because she ensures that the dots are always too far from one another.

I’m hoping as time goes on, transparency rules are introduced regarding influencers and their income, but in a world evolving faster than the rules and laws to govern it - I think we’d need for there to be some very high profile cases to highlight the need for such transparency and the damage this sort of poverty cosplay and narcissist worship causes.

Perhaps, in time, JM will be that high profile case - but if she is exposed, I predict that she’ll disappear into obscurity, probably stacking shelves on the nightshift in Asda.
Agreed, I’d always encourage anyone to Google “influencer name + companies house beta”. You don’t need to be an accountant to see if someone’s raking it in or not & it puts their content into an entirely different context. A lot (too many!) young girls think influencers are just cooler versions of them making earnest recommendations, but they’re extended sales departments for brands. Would you get into debt over a PLT ad? Probably not, so why are you getting into debt over Molly Mae’s vlogs she is not ur mate she has a direct interest in you spending money!

The absurd thing is people make out like you’re bleeping fred west for doing this - referencing public info to make an informed decision about how you spend your money! I’m a company secretary (my other job is being my husband’s Lynn) and I declare it to my employers & would expect to be asked questions about my interests, but I’m not a shady bleep like Jack who’d probably allege that we’d gone through her garage to find those micro accounts 😂 You can do it for small businesses too as sometimes they’re not actually small (see: FOD promoting an indie curtain company that had offices in St James’ Sq and an AR app funded by a parent company).

Sorry for the tenuously linked rant but the above is why I’ll never feel bad for being on here, influencers have stitched the game up. On topic: Jack’ll probably give us a chaos today to skim over the PURE CRINGE of her cockney accent 🤮🤮🤮 Goes some way to showing the sheer lack of diversity at the Guardian that no one challenged why she was doing that?
 
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Only bleeping Jack could turn The Times They Are A'Changing into a song about herself.

It's one of the most politically charged songs of all time. Trust Jack to identify with it during her period of difficulty. There is literally nothing individualistic in it. Unless your Jack Monroe.
 
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Why is she conflicted about his placement of onion rings in a burger when she promotes eating mussels with pears?
And not conflicted that her 10 year old child can’t spell cheese. Perhaps less time taking photos of dirty crockery/posing with the cat/showing off discount charity shop purchases and more time helping her son with learning.
 
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Two different writing styles, one cursive as per national curriculum and one with amusing spelling mistakes . I wonder if someone is annotating her son's work for Twitter enagement. Twirls moustache in a speculative manner
My mum taught primary school all her working life, and as a teen I helped her so after school admin stuff - marking, making resources etc. I would be extremely surprised if that's his writing. Major red flags - kids would never use a capital letter for the second letter as the the first cheese, especially since the second is done with a small h. The two u's in bun are different, one has a tail (as is taught from reception) and the other doesn't - again this isn't something a kid that age would do. The two t's in patty are crossed together and neither have tails, again something completely against what is taught. I know adults do develop these habits, but at a stage where writing form is still being policed by his teachers it would be extremely unusual for SB to write like this.

With regards to the spelling and poor writing, he should be getting extra help if this is his work. Loads of kids need extra help for all sorts of reasons and I can't believe that if this was his work he'd be made stressed over grammar school exams by his teachers, he'd have other goals presented to him.

I don't believe it is his work.
 
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"Morning boys!" I wandered over to the Fire Brigades Union tent opposite ours, swinging half a bladder of white wine on Saturday morning. "We're up and off, so can I tempt you with my leftover warm chardonnay?" They eyed it suspiciously, and I realised it bore more than a passing resemblance to an extremely large and full catheter bag.
I am absolutely dying at this - I thought that quote was you taking the piss - then I read the article 😂😂😂😂😂
 
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There seems to be a considerable amount of that wallpaper planner coloured in.

Bets on to when the next piece will be rolled over and we get treated to more boxes of fun?
 
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Her bizarre assumptions around men in vans must be a learnt behaviour, surely? Her family are all “professionals” & landlords so she was probably warned away from trade/service jobs and that’s leaking out with these fabricated anecdotes. And how she talks about SB’s dad being fiercely proud of being ex McDs, as if he should have to defend it? 🥴

I’d love to go to a Ford garage with her and be like look dear heart, this is how much your dad’s van likely cost & it’s actually quite a lot more than that lilac Mercedes the rich girls at school had...
 
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I was just idling about YouTube there, my appetite whetted by Glasto Jack when I chanced upon Jack delivering a speech to the South London Peoples Assembly. I was hoping to HOOT but actually find myself unexpectedly furious.

During the now familiar litany of no lightbulbs, cereal and water and no heating we get Jack telling the assembled crowd:

"...we're doing OK so no one is going to take my son away now but if anyone knew how we were really living...my son would have been taken into care. And that's one of the things this authoritarian government wields over us, you can't complain too loudly about how bad things really are because you will lose your children."

I can't imagine what would possess anyone to spread such a damaging and dangerous lie. As it's Jack I'll just assume it's to draw attention to herself. There is not a cat in hells chance of social work taking a child away solely because of a benefits issue. The family would be directed to welfare rights, food banks and other charitable support. The idea that a Tory government won't pay decent benefits but will splash out the thousands of pounds it take to keep a child in care in nonsensical. She does this all the time, what is her problem with highlighting the help that is available to people and encouraging people to access it, rather than telling people that if anyone finds out they're poor snatch squads will come and take their children. She really is evil.

ETA: Link
Couldn’t get past the first line where she was proud to be considered ‘a cross between Delia Smith and Yvette Cooper with tattoos’. She was 25. She really did want to seem like a successful middle aged woman didn’t she? Maybe that’s why she’s trying to facetune herself into a foetus now to make up for lost time.
 
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Jack Monroe #116 Facetuning herself into a foetus, one day at a time
 
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Agreed, I’d always encourage anyone to Google “influencer name + companies house beta”. You don’t need to be an accountant to see if someone’s raking it in or not & it puts their content into an entirely different context. A lot (too many!) young girls think influencers are just cooler versions of them making earnest recommendations, but they’re extended sales departments for brands. Would you get into debt over a PLT ad? Probably not, so why are you getting into debt over Molly Mae’s vlogs she is not ur mate she has a direct interest in you spending money!

The absurd thing is people make out like you’re bleeping fred west for doing this - referencing public info to make an informed decision about how you spend your money! I’m a company secretary (my other job is being my husband’s Lynn) and I declare it to my employers & would expect to be asked questions about my interests, but I’m not a shady bleep like Jack who’d probably allege that we’d gone through her garage to find those micro accounts 😂 You can do it for small businesses too as sometimes they’re not actually small (see: FOD promoting an indie curtain company that had offices in St James’ Sq and an AR app funded by a parent company).

Sorry for the tenuously linked rant but the above is why I’ll never feel bad for being on here, influencers have stitched the game up. On topic: Jack’ll probably give us a chaos today to skim over the PURE CRINGE of her cockney accent 🤮🤮🤮 Goes some way to showing the sheer lack of diversity at the Guardian that no one challenged why she was doing that?
Well I failed the miss marple test tried 2 people in companies house beta and got nothing 😟
 
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And not conflicted that her 10 year old child can’t spell cheese. Perhaps less time taking photos of dirty crockery/posing with the cat/showing off discount charity shop purchases and more time helping her son with learning.
Conflicted quoting myself now but wanted to say that my issue with her son’s spelling was directed at JM and no criticism of her son. Reading the other comments I couldn’t find one that wasn’t. She purports to be a journalist, so helping him with spelling should be an easy job for her.
 
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This is one of my favourite Jack articles! 'morning boys' makes me die. Also this bit where she gets angry and defensive at the thought of people possibly thinking she's fancy for taking a proper espresso maker to a festival.
I’m confused (again), I thought she said she didn’t drink coffee 😱
 
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I might be wrong (after all I couldn’t divide 99 by 2 yesterday) but didn’t she make a “bolognese“ out of Lorme sausage during the Edinburgh scamper? And fed it to some random homeless people she found in a bush or a puddle or something?
 
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I might be wrong (after all I couldn’t divide 99 by 2 yesterday) but didn’t she make a “bolognese“ out of Lorme sausage during the Edinburgh scamper? And fed it to some random homeless people she found in a bush or a puddle or something?
When she was scampering to get her Five Guys?
 
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I might be wrong (after all I couldn’t divide 99 by 2 yesterday) but didn’t she make a “bolognese“ out of Lorme sausage during the Edinburgh scamper? And fed it to some random homeless people she found in a bush or a puddle or something?
Bolornese, I believe she called it.

ETA I got the spelling wrong

Screen Shot 2020-12-08 at 09.11.35.png
 
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I am absolutely dying at this - I thought that quote was you taking the piss - then I read the article 😂😂😂😂😂
Babe, same! 😂 I thought @SoulRebel was about to treat us to a "traazers" type tale!

That article is just peak Jack Cringe isn't it?! 😬

Don't see anything remarkable about that espresso maker either, I've camped a lot and you see people with an array of different equipment 🤷. I've seen people whipping out paella pans and all sorts, noone stops to stare in amazement, or points and laughs. She's such a fairytale teller.
 
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Babe, same! 😂 I thought @SoulRebel was about to treat us to a "traazers" type tale!

That article is just peak Jack Cringe isn't it?! 😬

Don't see anything remarkable about that espresso maker either, I've camped a lot and you see people with an array of different equipment 🤷. I've seen people whipping out paella pans and all sorts, noone stops to stare in amazement, or points and laughs. She's such a fairytale teller.
I think it's kind of odd to take food and drink to Glastonbury, personally. They've got so many really good food stalls it's just pointless unless you're planning on spending absolutely nothing when you're on site which knowing Jack was probably the reason, the absolute tightwad.
 
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