No matter what age you are when you have your first baby, you will grieve for parts of the life you used to lead. Doesn't matter whether it was an oops or fertility trratment. Whether you are 20 or 40 it's a right shock to the system to now be somebody's everything, the one who has to make the decisions and be responsible at all times. I have to say, had my 1st at 23 and although I never wavered, on the inside I was sad for the life I had left behind.. very hard to see friends whooring and touring, holidays, working just to fund a social life, emigrating.. everything had changed. Some friendships can't withstand the shift. It's lonely. By the time I'm 40, my 4 kids will be pretty big and it looks like lots of my friends may only be starting their families then. Neither is better than the other.