Food and Drink #39

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HotesTilaire

How many are there in winter, then?
 
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alphaspagbol

So sorry. I’ve been there and can sometimes still feel the shock of it. But 30 years later I can say that older dating gets better. Don’t listen to the voice that says you’re worthless. Easier said than done I know. Have fun on your own for a while once the shock passes x
 
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HotesTilaire

well I think you’re really nice. And you should have a good Idahoan-fuelled wallow for the rest of the week.
 
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EllaEm87

Just to clarify it was a different ex who said it but it’s like the most recent ex falling out of love kind of confirms it, ya know? I know it happens, and it’s horrible, but it’s not his fault really. It just hurts a fucking lot right now. Crying at all your kind responses, thank you. I’ve not felt like eating, mashed potato or otherwise, and you’ll be pleased to hear I’ve changed pjs a grand total of once since Sunday. I can’t sleep and have zero energy. The ladies have been lovely but even that presents a problem in that Maisie is both of ours. And we were due to buy together later this year. My work have kindly given me leave this week as I don’t think patients need me sobbing over them! I’m genuinely heartbroken.
 
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emm

HotesTilaire said:
well I think you’re really nice. And you should have a good Idahoan-fuelled wallow for the rest of the week.
Click to expand...
I was in the same situation a couple of years ago, it is the worst feeling. This sounds awful but in a way after a really bad breakup like this I felt worse than I did when my grandma who I was very close to died. When someone (who is old and has lived a good life) dies it is obviously awful but it is something you do see coming and you are , in a way prepared, an out of the blue breakup is not at all like that. Sending and virtual tunnocks teacakes. If you can I would maybe take some time off work to rest (I called in sick when I was in the same situation tbh)
 
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EllaEm87

This - my dad passed in 2018 and it was expected so it was sad but I knew it was coming. This has totally blindsided me.
 
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Falkor

I'm so sorry, @EllaEm87 - I have a decent-sized muck heap here if you need somewhere to hide the body x
 
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MavisBeacon

I'm so sorry What a piece of shit. But you have plenty of time to live your best life with someone who actually values you and doesn't string you along. I got together with Mr Beacon at 39 after a nightmare time with my ex husband who nearly destroyed me and my 40s have been AMAZING, best decade of my life so far tbh. But only because I finally put me first, figured out what's important to me and pursued the life I wanted to live. You are lovable and you will be loved x
 
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Orphan_Black

@EllaEm87

Hello lovely, biiiiiiiiiiig hugs! I know you feel like absolute shit now, I've pretty much been in your exact shoes, it's a really fucking shit feeling. And it's going to feel shitty for a while yet, but it's ok, let the emotions out, it's grief, sadness, anger and abandonment, they're awful emotions to have running through your head and body, so do yourself a favour and give yourself the time for your mind and body to process that.

I promise you, completely, utterly, hand on heart, girl scout guide, pinky promise you that you'll one day feel grateful to him. No lie. I know. Sounds like utter madness. But, nope. You'll be grateful that he did walk away when he did, he gave you the chance to live your life and find someone worthy of your love and time. It really hurts now, I must sound like a silly sod, but seriously, you will.

Have a good cry, have a good rant, curse his fucking name, but look after yourself too! Remember to drink lots of water, eat something (even if it's a nibble of a biscuit), watch shit movies, and think about the positives.

You do deserve love and you are lovable.
 
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EllaEm87

Thank you @Falkor , @MavisBeacon and @Orphan_Black . I know we’ve aaaall been here in some form which is why I decided to share here. I’ve been here before but this time it’s just hitting a bit different because I genuinely thought we were good. I’m swinging between anger and intense sadness, and sheer loneliness (I don’t have a huge friendship group). I’m feeling a collective warm group hug / gentle pats from you all xx
 
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Orphan_Black


Imagine if he had fucked off in a years time instead. You'd have been tied to a home together that would need to be sold, so much upheaval, lawyers, probably resentment too. Ergh.

But don't feel lonely, we've got your back, and there are dozens, DOZENS, of fraus, pretty damn big friendship group imo.
 
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Emmapism

@Orphan_Black speaks the truth. Far better for him to go now and save you having to untangle a house etc. It won't feel like a good thing in the slightest but it is best in the long run for you and your future. You're still so young. And there is so much life to live. It isn't always what we imagined but you're healthy and you're cool and you're funny.

Cry and sit and feel however you need, we are all here
 
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Witchfinder Sargeant

I'm so sorry he did that to you, also your other ex sounds like a copper-bottomed, ocean-going wanker, what a horrible thing to say to someone. FWIW, I met Mr WitchfinderS when I was in my 40s, we met on Twitter of all places.

This chat is a lovely friendly place, I don't think anyone needs to apologise for "bringing sad vibes" or "being boring" or being ill.
 
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L3moning

Oh no. Very sorry to hear this.

I can't really give dating advice, since I'm 37 and have been single for ages (~11 years), and to be honest at this point it's hard to imagine having a partner (not counting my occasional falling in love with people who have an incompatible sexual orientation, as detailed several times).
 
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kachoochoo

everyone's said it better than i can, but just to say to ella

in one of my typical completely 180 posts, i can't stop watching this mystic meg clip that's been doing the rounds. for our overseas and young fraus, this was the height of 90s british culture. the woman who did horoscopes in the sun, predicting who will win the lottery. here, for some reason, with a pair of topless men

feat anthea turner, of course best known for making tracy island out of papier mache on blue peter and having her wedding sponsored by cadburys

 
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CabalofBolorneaise

Had to explain who she was once to a colleague from overseas because she’d heard people using the “who do you think I am, mystic Meg?” response. It was surprisingly hard and a reminder of how bonkers some bits of 90s Brit culture truly was!
 
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alphaspagbol

Thread https://tattle.life/threads/bigbearwishlistmamah.37867/
 
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Sideboard Bob

Witchfinder Sargeant said:
This chat is a lovely friendly place, I don't think anyone needs to apologise for "bringing sad vibes" or "being boring" or being ill.
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100% this Witchy!

@EllaEm87 Ugh that really sucks. Like a lot of us, I’ve been there, it’s SO hard, especially when it’s out of nowhere. I felt so sad it literally hurt.

It does get better (and I don’t blame you if you’re secretly thinking. “no it won’t, you guys don’t understand!). It takes time, but we’re here for you. In time, you’ll get to see the nice side of being single, it really can be great. Please take extra good care of yourself. Oh, and of course you’re loveable, you’re such a diamond x
 
Reactions: 20
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