Father of Daughters #55 His luggage is smarter than he is

[rainbowlemon]

But he had nothing to say about the Queen, weirdly - so had to stay silent during that... and then dragged his birthday out.

Why not acknowledge the Queen and his birthday? In some long winded smart arse metaphor?

Re talking about the Queen would also require the capacity and ability to talk not only about grief but also about Britain’s past regarding colonialism too. Lots of different takes. I know the funeral and subsequent media attention was also triggering for some. Someone else who I expected to talk about it also didn’t.

Easier to just stay quiet and not take a side.

"We are your slaves"

View attachment 1615936

Think he wrote it himself now. I could also make a better scrap book using all of their photos.

 

[skronkywildcat]

“another heavy branch on the family tree” - bleeping plank more like.

 

[Axatogrind]

I wonder if the boys of the family were always commended on their intelligence, strength and athleticism while the girl was simply told she was "beautiful".

 

[yellow_daisies]

"We are your slaves"

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And the mystery (if there ever really was one) of why Sly is a smug, entitled, pompous fuckwit is solved...

Still can't believe his mum was at a silent retreat on this paragons birthday!

 

[Dogmuck]

Evening trolletters- just had a look at our birthday boy. He made a lot of it didn’t he? But where are his mates? He doesn’t have any does he. 40th birthdays are brilliant, you’re still young enough to party with your friends…poor sly

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

At least now we know he got an A in Theatre Studies (on a re-mark) and can finally make sense of his dramatic talent.

 

[Axatogrind]

Where are his birthday mentions from other people on the 'gram? I don't mean bots people commenting on his posts, I mean people tagging him in their own grid or in a story etc. He's publicised it more than any other birthday-haver in the history of the internet.

• Surely out of 864k there are a couple of fans who love him enough to do a little tribute/fanart for him?
• His cycling, hockey, rugby buddies posting up an embarrassing photo or two?
• His influencer peers giving him a mention, hoping he'll repost on his own story?
• Small brands he's worked with, wishing him HBD while promoting their products/partnership?
• That dodgy lot they hang out with (ST and co)?
• Other friends and family?
• Someone.... anyone.... hello.....?

 

[wodemaya]

I half wondered if he maybe has a private account for family and close friends, and maybe they interacted with that account for birthday wishes. But then I realised how ridiculous it was to think that our Sly is capable of keeping anything private!

 

[Cariad]

Where are his birthday mentions from other people on the 'gram? I don't mean bots people commenting on his posts, I mean people tagging him in their own grid or in a story etc. He's publicised it more than any other birthday-haver in the history of the internet.

• Surely out of 864k there are a couple of fans who love him enough to do a little tribute/fanart for him?
• His cycling, hockey, rugby buddies posting up an embarrassing photo or two?
• His influencer peers giving him a mention, hoping he'll repost on his own story?
• Small brands he's worked with, wishing him HBD while promoting their products/partnership?
• That dodgy lot they hang out with (ST and co)?
• Other friends and family?
• Someone.... anyone.... hello.....?

 

[rainbowlemon]

I half wondered if he maybe has a private account for family and close friends, and maybe they interacted with that account for birthday wishes. But then I realised how ridiculous it was to think that our Sly is capable of keeping anything private!

Some of the comments aren't even about him.

 

[infragram]

I don’t give two hoots about him not mentioning the Queen. But then I don’t give two hoots about the monarchy.

His birthday stuff gave me the ick. Making a big deal of a birthday tribute to yourself - get a grip. Such a massive ego. Bet there’s no silent retreat, she just made it up so she could go drink wine with her pals and not even have to speak to her spawn on the phone on his Day All About Him. (Wait … that’s every day)

 

[Axatogrind]

They're trying to get his attention for Iranian women's rights after the death of Mahsa Amini.
He has quite a (purchased) following in the middle east, but he's never really acknowledged them.

 

[allybongo]

My FOD in a hat is making me lol

 

[Notaninstamumeither]

The caption for that baby photo explains all you need to know about how he’s ended up.

 

[Axatogrind]

The "guilt and worry" about leaving him with a childminder reads a bit like a passive aggressive dig in my Tattler mind

 

[bluekoala]

The caption for that baby photo explains all you need to know about how he’s ended up.

Exactly! You suddenly see why he is what he is (a giant narcissistic twunt)

 

[OhMyWord]

I was going to ask why anyone would care what number he picked for his hockey team but given what we’ve seen from the childhood memories book, he must assume everyone should care.

 

[Puffin]

I haven't read this thread in ages which is ironic cos the whole reason I joined Tattle was to get the inside scoop on the whole Glen situation Anyway had a look at his page and duck me but that anniversary post my god could he be anymore of a simp towards herself.

She looks like she just about tolerates him being in her presence and he writes gushing paragraphs about his wonderful wife. How he is not absolutely mortified to post shite like that espically when everyone knows that his wife publicly called him a dick. There's seems more a marriage of convenience and a sexless, loveless arrangement. I would be shocked if they are still together when the twins hit double digits

 

[Axatogrind]

SEPTEMBER UPDATE: FOD & HoH 2022 #ad #gifted #collab list

Ads/collabs marked with an asterisk had follow up or revisited content but are only listed once, in the month they first appeared.

January:

• Bigdug - flooring, storage racks and work benches (temporary solution), value £1,111.94
• Oddbox - fruit & veg box (looks like large size), value £19.99
• Mina and the Moon - 2x sweatshirts & 4x beanies (possibly more), value at least £140.00
• Astonish Cleaners - oven & grill cleaner (gifted ages ago, finally used), value £3.00

February:

• Compare the Market - financial service ad (presumably paid)
• Spotty Otter - 2x blue fleece lined PU splashsuits (twins birthday gift), value £100.00
• OTO - 10% CBD Sleep drops (30 day supply), value £69.00

March:

• Nothing

April:

• Dig Club* - bespoke garden planting (Mediterranean style), estimated value £2,500.00+
• Wattbike* - Atom indoor bike trainer, value £1,999.00
• Wattbike* - Floor mat, cycling jersey and bib shorts, total value £159.98

May:

• Affordable Art* - ad featuring "Under One Sky" screenprint art by Emma Reynolds, estimated value £450.00
• Dotty Dungarees - ad featuring colourblock short dungarees x2, value £86.00
• Premiership Rugby* - ad for Twickenham final, hospitality, tour, photo ops package for 2 adults 4 children, estimated value £600+

June:

• WD40 - ad featuring WD40 Specialist Silicone 400ml, value £7.49
• Merci Maman – men’s personalised open bangle, value £79.00
• Renault – Papa/Nicole ad with daughter M (presumably paid)

July:

• Camp Bestival – disco dance world record attempt ad, value £20 per ticket
• Camp Bestival* – face value of tickets alone for his family £945 (booking fees and upgraded accom. extra)
• Vodafone* – ads for a contract deal for the Google Pixel 6 Pro, plan value approx. £40 per month
• Aarke – Carbonator Pro ad, value £250 + bottles £20 each + flavours £45 per set
• Linenbundle – ad for bed linen and towels feat. Clemmie, indicative value £156 for a luxury bedding bundle and £183 for a super plush towel bundle

August:

• Lightyear – ad for movie on various platforms, value circa £13.99 to £17.99

September:

• Mark Warner* – holiday/childcare ads, family received discount on 2nd week of holiday in Turkey, value unknown
• Google Pixel 6 Pro – ad featuring Clemmie, phone value from £849 or £35.38/month for 24 months (source: Google store)

 

[Libertine]

I would be shocked if they are still together when the twins hit double digits

I agree, particularly as Simon not only writes gushing posts about the amazing Clemmie, he also publishes the odd really mean, exasperated post about her. Simon wouldn’t be human if he didn’t resent her a bit for totally destroying their extremely profitable influencing careers.

I bet the cost of living crisis, including heating the pile of bricks, is biting for the Hooper family too and it would be a daily reminder that prior to ModGate, all he’d have needed to do was tag his supplier of choice or ask his agents to approach them, and voila! There’d be a collaboration including freebies plus payment in cold, hard cash.

Blonde Clemmie is also really feeling herself at the moment. One day Simon will complain about the heating one time too many and she’ll walk. He will of course be TOTALLY BLINDSIDED.