Father of Daughters #55 His luggage is smarter than he is

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Two weeks' worth of holiday childcare fees for his children would probably pay the heating bill for the whole winter.
 
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Blonde Clemmie is also really feeling herself at the moment. One day Simon will complain about the heating one time too many and she’ll walk. He will of course be TOTALLY BLINDSIDED.
Christ, can you imagine the Insta posts then?! Struggling single dad raising girls 🤢
 
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The profile on his agency page could almost be considered catfishing at this point.

The photo looks like a whole different person, and "Simon’s followers increase by a brilliant 1 to 2 thousand a week" hasn't been true for years.

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He get in a fight? With a rugby player?

Hidden cry for help with domestic violence?

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Wouldn’t surprise me if he got jumped in the pub for being a massive prick.
 
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I bet his first thought was "content!" when he got injured, before the pain signals even reached his brain.
 
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