Escape into the Tea & Sympathy Support room.

[Chita]

Its been rather a dramatic week.
My partner and I have a friend that we've known for years, my partner has known him since childhood. He has various health problems, and has been housebound for a few years. He has been deteriorating for quite some time, but he is a very stubborn person and up until this point, he has refused to see a doctor
On Thursday he phoned my partner to tell him he was in a great deal of pain. To cut a long story short, the friend finally agreed to make an appointment with his doctor. But the doctor told him that he could not see him until this Tuesday. Over the weekend, he fell on the floor in his bathroom and bruised his eye. Then on Monday, my partner tried to phone him, but his phone was switched off. My partner went round to the friend's house, and found him on the bathroom floor. He had been there for 12 hours, and was dehydrated. We should have taken the opportunity to phone for an ambulance, but we didn't. I wish we had of done, it would have saved us from the nightmare situation that occured afterwards.
The friend received a text from his Doctor's surgery later that evening, to say that Tuesday's appointment had been cancelled because his Doctor was working from home because of Covid! I was absolutely livid, our friend has been trying to get treatment for a back injury he received from another fall, a few months ago, he damaged his coccyx and has been in constant pain since then.
Instead of going to the Doctor on Tuesday, we spent the best part of the day phoning NHS 111 and trying to get some treatment for our friend. We were unsuccessful, I had to leave the friends flat because I was so stressed out. But we did manage to get an appointment at the surgery for Friday. This meant that we would somehow manage to transport the friend, who has mobility problems, 5 miles to the surgery which recently moved out of town!
I called in at the friends place yesterday, to see how he was doing. When I got there, he was talking to NHS 111 again, because the situation had worsened. He has been having difficulty passing urine, and was in extreme discomfort. Once again, NHS 111 were not that helpful, it was decided that I would try to take the friend to the A&E department by taxi. But we decided to give NHS 111 one last try. We finally managed to get the friend referred to the emergency department at our local hospital a little later on
Because of the friends mobility issues, I was concerned about getting him down a flight of stairs, and along a long pathway to reach a taxi. So I phoned for an ambulance, I'm afraid I dialed 999. I felt awful having to do this. A while later, the ambulance came the paramedics spoke to the friend, but it was obvious that they were not pleased with being called out for a non emergency. I was growing increasingly frustated with the friend, because he was focusing on his waterworks problems, and not mentioning his other problems. It all became too much, and I went into another room, I might have ended up ranting at the friend, if I had stayed.
The paramedics were sympathetic, and finally agreed to drive the friend to the hospital because his blood pressure was high! Later on, he was transfered to the Acute assessment unit. I sincerely hope that the friend will get the treatment he desperately needs. We just have to wait and see.

Stubborn friends are a tough thing to deal with.
So don't beat yourself up about not getting him treatment sooner.
You can't make someone get help if they are reluctant to do it.

And also you mustn't feel guilty about not calling an ambulance when he was on the floor.
Feel relieved that you found him and that he has now been seen by medical professionals.
Just make sure they know about all the incidents so they can act accordingly.

You have done a good thing by getting him seen.
That's the main thing.

Let's hope his issues now get sorted.

 

[freda19]

Two of my exes (both of which I truly expected to marry) have had babies in the last year and named them both Edward?! Wtf. My friend said they must have married die-hard Twilight fans so that is the story I'm telling myself to feel better ;P.

In reality, I stupidly checked one of their social media accounts and burst into tears when I saw him snuggling the new baby. I have such poor luck with love. I just feel like I was never good enough to settle down wholly with, and that's doing my head in.

Meanwhile, the other ex with the son named Edward, sent me a dick pic recently but still proclaims his marriage isn't bad, just boring. -- and I am dead ashamed to say ... though he's such a tit head, I am still jealous of his wife somehow. Ugh.

I'm sorry for laughing, but all those little edwards just makes me chuckle.
Now, pay no heed to all those baby pics with daddy.It's a social media necessity to post yourself looking soppily at your brand new crotch goblin for your family to coo over. I betcha the soppy faces disappear at nappy time, or during babysitting when their mates are all out on the pull, so don't take them to heart too much. As for mr dick pic, if he says the sex is boring then he's getting plenty but just not liking the quality and wants to tempt you into a secret rematch. Do you really want to be with a man who expects his post birth partner to dress like a french maid and spend 2 hours undivided attention on making his dick king of the world while your hungry baby cries in the next room ? Every single night.
Point is, nothing is ever as it seems on social media. You got dumped for these other women because you were somehow deemed unworthy ... yet the perfect specimens they dumped you for are not up to expectations , so at least one of them is being humiliated behind her back by her bloke being a bleep. Tell mr dickpic to go lavish some attention on his new partner and kid and focus on finding your own forever bloke. Sorry for being blunt, but it's kinda my thing.

 

[Doodlebug005]

@rubbish our @freda19 is spot on! Babies are a romantic notion but the reality of sleep deprivation, crying, feeding, mountains of shite etc leave little time for passion ... That knob ( pardon the pun) is longing for his carefree , sex filled single life... As Freda says he is due a rap on the knuckles.... I am torn....I would either warn him that any further pics would be forwarded to the missus inbox... Or would I forego the warning and send her the pics....that would blow their life apart.... But not her fault that he is a sleaze... Count your blessings he is someone elses problem now... Pah Edwards - aren't they spuds... Ned is the short version of Edward around here , awful name for a kid, one too formal and ned is a grandads name ...

 

[rubbish]

Thanks so much for your all's replies! They made me feel better and even chuckle -- and @freda19, thanks so much for the reality check.

Fun fact: the one who sent me a dick pic, well I was with him for a year before I discovered he was married. So! I def dodged a bullet even before the baby, but what's wild is they got pregnant the same month I found out he was married and dumped his ass. It's all around fuckery -- and sadly I don't know his wife's name and have looked everywhere for it to contact her. But instead, I have blocked him and the illusion of who I thought he was when we dated ... (rather, when he conned my dumbass) -- I suspect she's miserable already, and I don't wish to pile on,

 

[freda19]

Thanks so much for your all's replies! They made me feel better and even chuckle -- and @freda19, thanks so much for the reality check.

Fun fact: the one who sent me a dick pic, well I was with him for a year before I discovered he was married. So! I def dodged a bullet even before the baby, but what's wild is they got pregnant the same month I found out he was married and dumped his ass. It's all around fuckery -- and sadly I don't know his wife's name and have looked everywhere for it to contact her. But instead, I have blocked him and the illusion of who I thought he was when we dated ... (rather, when he conned my dumbass) -- I suspect she's miserable already, and I don't wish to pile on,

I would've bet the dick pic was also the complainer re boring sex. No idea what age he is ... I'm guessing 20-30 maybe, and grabbing all the extra pussy he can. Frankly I have never seen a dick-pic (online obviously) that made me dribble and drool in my pants. They just aren't pretty bastards. My gay friends all agree on that too. Def not photogenic.
You hang in there and love yourself and your Mr right will come along when you least expect it ... and good for you ditching DP when you found out he was married. That was a huge disaster avoided, 100%.

 

[Tattyfilarious]

I've felt this in my bones for days now - that something wasn't right; my husband

Two of my exes (both of which I truly expected to marry) have had babies in the last year and named them both Edward?! Wtf. My friend said they must have married die-hard Twilight fans so that is the story I'm telling myself to feel better ;P.

In reality, I stupidly checked one of their social media accounts and burst into tears when I saw him snuggling the new baby. I have such poor luck with love. I just feel like I was never good enough to settle down wholly with, and that's doing my head in.

Meanwhile, the other ex with the son named Edward, sent me a dick pic recently but still proclaims his marriage isn't bad, just boring. -- and I am dead ashamed to say ... though he's such a tit head, I am still jealous of his wife somehow. Ugh.

Darling, don't ever feel that you're not good enough - you just haven't met someone yet who is worthy of you

That post got cut-off somewhere; it meant to say that (on my husband's 59th birthday) he showed me true love, from the day we met - 30-years ago (on a blind date), we've been together ever since.
We've had many troubles during our journey in life, but I look into his eyes, his heart and his soul - that know that I got lucky. Happy Birthday honey

Please, seek help if you feel alone - that's the worst aspect of depression, when you feel that nobody cares about you, that's often just a product of you just not liking yourself very much; it's tough but, with support, you can get through it.

 

[Fredsnail]

Ladies, the response to those annoying dick pics is to send them this link:

Kiwi Willy Wash Shower Gel

Kiwi Willy Wash Shower Gel Willy wash shower gel. A willy to be proud of, should be bright and sparkling clean. Don't worry if its small or large, as long as it has a gleam.

www.silverfernz.com

It's worth opening the link for the longer description!

 

[Thegreenbush96]

Will people here be my friend. I really need a friendship group and I can’t find one online anywhere. It just feels like no one efer understands me and accepts me. Everyone always turns on me, will here be different,

 

[Fredsnail]

Why do you feel that they turn on you?

 

[Purrrrrrr]

I have just ranted about my life on another thread and feel a bit daft now. but I expect I needed to get it off my chest.

Bizarre grandparent behaviour.

Sorry people this post was longer and more than a little self-pitying but I am one of those people who see the truth of things only when I have typed them out and go back to read it later. I can count on one hand and have three fingers left over at how many times my or my then husband's...

tattle.life

 

[Chita]

Will people here be my friend. I really need a friendship group and I can’t find one online anywhere. It just feels like no one efer understands me and accepts me. Everyone always turns on me, will here be different,

I find that you can't force friendship, so maybe an actual friendship group isn't what you really need. You need to find some Threads with people whose posts you enjoy reading and then start joining in.
The online friendship will grow from that.

Joining in is the key, I think.
Sorry you feel no-one accepts you and that you feel people turn on you.
Can you tell us a bit more?
See if we can help?

I have just ranted about my life on another thread and feel a bit daft now. but I expect I needed to get it off my chest.

Bizarre grandparent behaviour.

Sorry people this post was longer and more than a little self-pitying but I am one of those people who see the truth of things only when I have typed them out and go back to read it later. I can count on one hand and have three fingers left over at how many times my or my then husband's...

tattle.life

Well, writing it all down a is a good start and no need to feel daft.
You've let off a bit of steam.

Clearly you have gradually allowed yourself to be taken advantage of.

And because it's happened over time, it's hard to put a stop to it.

You need a break. Some respite - and you said your holiday ended up being exactly what you needed a break from.

So that didnt' help.

Ideally what you've written in your post needs relaying to your family. They have become so used to things as they are that they aren't thinking of how it affects you.
So you need to tell them before you have a complete breakdown.
It will take courage but it doesnt have to be an angry confrontation situation.


Maybe you'll feel better if you get your place decorated - that will give you the chance to tidy it up and then once its painted you will maybe feel its less like a bomb site as you said you felt it was.
Im sure it isnt.

So, could you enlist the grandkids to help you tidy everything up and enlist your kids to do the decorating for you or help you pay for a professional to come and do it?
Get it done now before dark nights and winter weather sets in?

Its a start.

And I know you said you are disabled, but it sounds like you can get about a bit, so could you join some clubs or do something out of the house a few days a week so that you are not so readily available to babysit/childmind?
Make yourself busy with new things so you can say, "no. I am busy doing so and so" when you are asked to childmind.

Basically you need to tell your children what you wrote in the post and make them see you need to have your own life and that they are taking you for granted.
They need to help you for a change.

Have you a friend you could go on an actual holiday with?
Get away completely from the kids for a bit?
You need to find a way to let them get used to you not being there all the time.

 

[Thegreenbush96]

I find that you can't force friendship, so maybe an actual friendship group isn't what you really need. You need to find some Threads with people whose posts you enjoy reading and then start joining in.
The online friendship will grow from that.

Joining in is the key, I think.
Sorry you feel no-one accepts you and that you feel people turn on you.
Can you tell us a bit more?
See if we can help?




Well, writing it all down a is a good start and no need to feel daft.
You've let off a bit of steam.

Clearly you have gradually allowed yourself to be taken advantage of.

And because it's happened over time, it's hard to put a stop to it.

You need a break. Some respite - and you said your holiday ended up being exactly what you needed a break from.

So that didnt' help.

Ideally what you've written in your post needs relaying to your family. They have become so used to things as they are that they aren't thinking of how it affects you.
So you need to tell them before you have a complete breakdown.
It will take courage but it doesnt have to be an angry confrontation situation.


Maybe you'll feel better if you get your place decorated - that will give you the chance to tidy it up and then once its painted you will maybe feel its less like a bomb site as you said you felt it was.
Im sure it isnt.

So, could you enlist the grandkids to help you tidy everything up and enlist your kids to do the decorating for you or help you pay for a professional to come and do it?
Get it done now before dark nights and winter weather sets in?

Its a start.

And I know you said you are disabled, but it sounds like you can get about a bit, so could you join some clubs or do something out of the house a few days a week so that you are not so readily available to babysit/childmind?
Make yourself busy with new things so you can say, "no. I am busy doing so and so" when you are asked to childmind.

Basically you need to tell your children what you wrote in the post and make them see you need to have your own life and that they are taking you for granted.
They need to help you for a change.

Have you a friend you could go on an actual holiday with?
Get away completely from the kids for a bit?
You need to find a way to let them get used to you not being there all the time.

I don’t know what threads are friendly anymore. I thought they would be a general chat topic but there is not and I am not allowed to set one up

 

[Chita]

I don’t know what threads are friendly anymore. I thought they would be a general chat topic but there is not and I am not allowed to set one up

A general chat is maybe too wide a spectrum.
Threads really need to have a base topic to form themselves around.
Like this thread, its kind of a general chat but its based around supporting people who want to rant or who want a bit of help dealing with stuff affecting their mental health, so I guess this thread is as general a chat thread you can get in a forum for gossip.

If you want to post about what's bothering you, then go ahead.
There's bound to be others who will join in.

 

[dancingqueen5678]

I don’t know what threads are friendly anymore. I thought they would be a general chat topic but there is not and I am not allowed to set one up

I agree with an above poster. Maybe have a look for some thread topics of things youre interested in? For example, I watch Strictly come dancing so I talk a lot on the Strictly come dancing thread. Or try Reddit? There's subtopics for everything on there

 

[Sheabutter]

I don’t know what threads are friendly anymore. I thought they would be a general chat topic but there is not and I am not allowed to set one up

I have a brother with autism. He really flourished after reading “The Science of Making Friends: Helping Socially Challenged Teens and Young Adults” by Elizabeth A. Laugeson. It took the challenge out of social interaction for him.

 

[Tattyfilarious]

Will people here be my friend. I really need a friendship group and I can’t find one online anywhere. It just feels like no one efer understands me and accepts me. Everyone always turns on me, will here be different,

You'll always be welcome here honey - there is a vast amount of human experience

Will people here be my friend. I really need a friendship group and I can’t find one online anywhere. It just feels like no one efer understands me and accepts me. Everyone always turns on me, will here be different,

You'll always have friends here - this is a place where people truly care about one another.
Take care honey xxx

 

[Rockin' Robin]

Please read the last couple of pages, on the Support for anyone that needs to vent thread.

 

[Tattyfilarious]

I have a postcard on my kitchen whiteboard, showing a woman screaming - think it's called 'don't panic', sent to me from my Aspergers son, who is way calmer than me!

I joke now, but having a child on the autistic spectrum is not a laughing matter - particularly when you were binned all the way, despite our concerns, and only got admitted and diagnosed when he was 14 because he was self-harming.
I had a doctor rubbishing my concerns and told me that my son just needed some 'firm-parenting'!

He's doing okay, living his independent life, far from home - but I still worry about him

Every one of you, please cherish your family and friends (including those who you may have lost) - it's what keeps us moving forwards

 

[Tattyfilarious]

Life goes on living, despite its adversities - stay strong lovelies

 

[Saddlesoap]

I don’t know what threads are friendly anymore. I thought they would be a general chat topic but there is not and I am not allowed to set one up

There is a general chat topic.

In Chatter at the bottom of off topic. Then chit chat.