Escape into the Tea & Sympathy Support room.

[Ethel's little Willy]

Hey everyone,
Hope everyone is doing ok. I saw this thread pop up so thought I'd come and say hello and what a great idea it is

I've always found it easier to talk to strangers about my problems than to people who know me well, it's probably why I don't have many friends, so I'll probably be here a lot

Lots of love and support to those feeling shit or having a shitty time

 

[Pippa M]

Hooray for this thread,thanks Chita. I hope people will soon feel able to tell all and know people are here to comiserate and soothe..and offer tea...

 

[Louk]

A narc can and will bring you down for their own sense of worth so perhaps talking to someone with experience in the situations could benefit greatly.

This is exactly how I used to describe it, but I wasn't familiar with narcissism until Meghan showed up. You never think this will happen in your own family. I definitely think I'm going to speak to someone, I have a load of nasty messages I need a therapist to read, then I can discuss it all.

 

[KeriRhys]

Do you ever feel stuck. No motivation, tired, can’t be arsed. Adult life just seems hard. I’m 31. Feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I’m just tired. I’m sick of bills, my step mum has cancer and waiting on results to see how bad it is and if it’s spread etc. I’m tired of working hard on a shit salary. My friends are all on at least 10k above me. I don’t begrudge them, they work hard. But so do I.
Sorry I know it’s nothing compared to what some people deal with.

I 100% feel this with you! I'm 30, and at times I feel like I'm really struggling with the whole "adult life" thing (which, I appreciate is a stereotype of our generation) but it just feels so overwhelming some times!! And I feel like I'm just stuck...most of my friends are buying houses and having babies and me and my husband are still living with family and have had 3 miscarriages...
There's times I wish I had the ability to just take a break from life and find some headspace! (Preferably on some remote island with no people and a lot of dogs )

 

[Carpediem69]

I've entered some kind of lockdown letgo! I used to wear make-up daily before last year, wouldn't be seen without it, now I barely even bother! I've let the grey hairs twinkle through and my body shape is Veruca Salt as the blueberry - little twig arms and legs with a beach ball middle!
I must start making more of an effort - I've gone from looking vaguely acceptable to a horror show. I've hardly seen any of my friends for the last 18 months and honestly, I don't think any of them would recognise me in the street!

@chitta thank you for this lovely new thread
I am the same - never went out without my full slap, matching accessories etc. And have also put on belly weight and never exercise now - whereas before lookdown I was like Tigger on caffeine. Now we are getting ready to go ‘back to normal’ I am very anxious - the one thing I did do was wean myself off anti depressants so am now clear of them BUT over the past few weeks I have started to become really tearful - anything makes me want to ball my eyes out - I enjoy working from home and want it to stay that way but who knows what will happen -
hope we can start to post some funny animal stuff too -
I watch the doggy day care guy in OZ and it always makes me smile adding a short clip of Tucker Budzyn (he is fine and she loves him sooooo much he has some fun adventures) but the laughing makes me smile

 

[Pom Bear]

I'm lurking on this thread for the time been xx.
I'm really glad it's helping so many people on here. I'm more for doing my little Photoshop pics then talking so I be lurking in and out of the thread daily to see how it goes and how everyone is. xx

 

[LadyMuck]

Great thread idea, thanks for starting it Chita x

 

[Damita]

Great idea for a thread!

My insomnia has flared up again. Mainly stress, partly too humid/airless weather...it's only been a few days and I'm already going insane. Not sleeping is one of the worst things ever.

 

[Chita]

You have every right to be stressed Spangly I don't think many people would cope with what you are doing.

Chin up girl, have a glass of something alcoholic and just say bollocks to misfortune it ain't gonna get the better of me or look at someone you really dislike and all the things you would like to say to them.

I don't suffer from MH problems but when I am pissed off, like today that is what I do, this should be renamed the fuck you forum, go on do it and let it all take a back seat

Yay you found it.


I called it Tea and Sympathy because
'Tea' or 'T' has become the indicator for 'Truth'
so we can come in here and tell our truth about how we feel about anything.
And the sympathy bit is because a lot of posters are struggling and we can all support each other with laughter, anger, banter, ranting........... whatever.

And of course, your sweary posts and incontinent Ginger Tom stories are just the tonic to make us laugh.

We can change the title every 50 pages

 

[Mrsoh]

I have some good news, although it's not for me as my weekends will be busier as well as working, but my son has been picked to play for our local football team, will be under 16's when he goes back, only problem is away games as his sister also plays on a Saturday.

Thank you My mum has made me a nice Shepard’s pie for tea and just brought it round so I only need to heat it up. That and cuddles with my pug should help. Roll on 4pm when my shift is over.

My 13 year old loves dinners like that

 

[The Wicked Lady]

Hi all, I am visiting from the other thread to say that I think this is a great idea. Tattlers have a lot to offer to each other in terms of support. They say laughter is the best medicine, but it's probably talking - closely followed by laughter. To be able to talk anonymously to people that are kind and supportive will hopefully be a really positive experience.

 

[ProfessorColdheart]

Hope this is allowed on this thread, it’s very personal but I thought it’d be nice to get some thoughts/advice anonymously

Basically I think I’ve got depression. I’ve felt it for a while, like there’s something just not quite right in my head. I have off days so does everyone but for me, it’s more than that. The tiniest thing is enormous to me. I cry because there’s plates that need cleaning, my brain can’t cope with more than one thing, even something like booking a dentist appointment along side booking a doctor app, it’s too much for me to handle mentally. I feel like a failure, a failure in life and to my family, every day just feels like a massive struggle to me and I very much have a ‘what’s the point’ mindset. My mood swings are horrific too. That’s just a small part of what I feel. It’s not every day, some days I’m really happy, but most days I’m not. I reached out to a doctor last week for the first time and it took a lot. I haven’t yet plucked up the courage to call the phone numbers they gave me (Mind etc)

sorry it’s a bit of a ramble and possibly a bit off topic but it’s nice to get some things off my chest as I haven’t got many close girl friends x

@peachhes Just wanted to say I have felt *exactly* like this lots in the past. I have cried because there was washing up to do and it just felt too much and then cried because that made me feel so pathetic and then hated myself for sitting on the floor crying about trivial things. You're doing so well to keep getting from day to day because I've been there and I know its a fucking heroic effort to keep just existing. It definitely sounds like depression, feeling like a failure or letting people down is a big part of it for me too and a known symptom. But you aren't a failure and they won't feel like that, I promise.

But it sounds like you know you don't want to stay how you are and you're willing to reach out. I didn't have much help with doctors, athough recently one was quite helpful, but I found a private counsellor (obviously this costs money) a few years ago and spent a long time working through some issues that were my "root cause". I'll always have ups and downs because a) thats life and b) I went through a lot of stuff that I won't "get over" but I don't feel that bad very often anymore so please know there is hope it can improve for you. I didn't personally go down the medication route but I know loads of people who have and it really helped them so thats definitely an option too.

I am a list person so I tended to break things down into what absolutely had to be done. I would do the dentist first, get it out of the way, then the doctors the next week or longer if it could wait. If you achieve something from the boring "must-do" list then you must then do something nice that you enjoy. Listen to some music you love and have a dance, or read a chapter of a book, whatever floats your boat. I'm guessing you're not letting yourself do enjoyable stuff much because when we feel like we're "failing" we think we "don't deserve" the nice, good things in life. Thats crap. When you're struggling you deserve and NEED that stuff all the more, so make sure you fit in as much as you can. If you can enjoy little bits of things here and there it will help list the "whats the point" feeling, even if its just for a short time.

Hope this helps x

 

[Chita]

Anniversary of my Mum's death today.
Im not scheduled to be anywhere or do anything in particular so I decided to snuggle down and read a book.

Ive been reading the same page over and over and just cannot get into it because my mind is wandering.
Im not even crying because the bereavement isnt recent but I just cannot seem tp actually do anything.

Isnt the mind weird sometimes!

 

[Nuttynana]

Great idea to start a thread, I've been lurking on H&M and several people I think of often on there.

I'm having a real Monday grump today. Was low over the weekend and called a couple of people to chat but left me feeling more lonely really as each person just talked about themselves and hardly even asked about me. There's a lot of talk in the UK about encouraging people to talk about how they feel/mental health but noone is educating people on how to listen. i.e. don't just say "oh I know, I'm the same. Anyway, listen to this story about me. . "

Feel free to speak, swear, curse at whoever or whatever, if you don't know many swear words you can learn some on here.

I don't know how people are feeling and to be honest I am really shocked at how many out there suffer. Let it all out on here and I call it the fuck it forum

I have never dealt with anyone with mh problems but, if you were someone that I knew I would say the same things.

Local rescue charities are desperate for someone to walk their dogs or just pet them or if you prefer cats you can just be a cat cuddler enquire at cats protection league or others, there is always someone or something out there that welcomes your help..

I am blunt but very caring and just go for something else that needs your attention

Let it out Professor it all helps

 

[Melian]

Urgh, hospital again tomorrow. So not looking forward to it. (Test results)

 

[1001 others]

Our beloved cat passed away on the weekend and his little brother is really missing him. It's so heartbreaking - he's crying a lot, really clingy, and very unsettled. I don't know how to make it better and can't stop crying as I miss him too

 

[HairyWeeTerrier]

I have a sister who has been struggling for years now but is so against anti depressants it’s so hard to convince her to keep trying them. She has tried them but can’t stand that brain freeze sensation and just stops takINg them. I have suffered also in the past so I do know what it feels like to wake up every day feeling hopeless and sad but after therapy and taking anti depressants I have managed to clear the darkness. I would hate to ever feel that way again but I just don’t know how to convince her to keep trying. It’s difficult.

I think many people view being on anti-depressants as something to be ashamed of. I know when I started, I felt that way.. But depression is not a weakness, it’s an illness. My doctor asked me if I would feel ashamed if I were a diabetic and had to take insulin. Of course not. Depressants have a chemical imbalance that has to be treated with medication, no different from other conditions.

Not sure what age group you are, could it be hormonal? I started night sweats about a year ago , emotionally fine, but things were stressful at the time so took not a lot of notice, anyway, trip to gp, yup needed a mild hrt...which was great, but they stopped making it. On another one now, doing ok. Might be worth making an appointment.
[/QUOT

Exactly.


think of them as a new friend.

My daughter is a carer and she adores her clients.

 

[shazbev]

Thank you Chita for creating this soothing thread. Thought I'd slide in and join you lovely folk. Having shielded through all the lockdowns, and deciding to retire early from a job I loved, I find myself a bit paranoid and reluctant to get out and about. I have a chronic condition which deteriorated over lockdown and am now only able to get out and about with a mobile scooter and only when necessary and I've built up the courage to venture out. One thing that's been a godsend is my kindle and I've recently joined a lovely choir ( I can't really sing but they didn't seem to mind ) . Tattle has been a lifesaver too, some of you articulate Tattlers have really cheered me up. Thank you for listening to my Ted talk .

 

[Mrsoh]

So glad to have found this thread! Seems like a lovely place already! thanks Chita!

Like a lot of people, I've been struggling with my mental health the past few months...I'm a nurse and being on the "frontline" has been so tough at times!
I've also recently had a miscarriage and things are just feeling a bit hard just now!
Trying hard to stay positive and look forward!!
...god, sorry...that's a bit of a heavy post

Don't say sorry, your feelings are valid xx

 

[Louk]

Morning everyone Great idea for a new thread Chita @Chita.

I'm getting myself a bit worked up this week, as after looking after my Mum for 6 months since my Dad died in January (she has very severe mental health problems and has undergone ECT during this period and threatened suicide nearly every day!) I've finally had to relinquish her care to a 24 hour carer at home. They are due to start mid week but we haven't even been introduced to them yet. I've got all sorts of worries going through my mind from trying to keep her Covid safe to will the carer simply 'Be kind'? I've been trying to keep my business afloat at the same time but it has had to take a back seat in the last few weeks - it will be strange having the time to get back on with life again.

The H&M thread was the only bit of light relief I had - so thanks you lovely lot I promise to try and not make it all about Me..me..me!

I bring victoria sponge and decaf tea (sorry - caffeine give me the jitters!)

I have never got to the point of putting a family member in care (nearly but not quite) I've had a hard time with sick family.

You have done brilliantly, it sounds like you love your mum & rightly so . But you now have to operate on a "me first" basis. You have to take care of yourself and your business. #1 me, #2 mum. As long as you are happy she has a decent carer, shut the door, walk away and go and live your own life for a bit. She gave you life, live it. I think it's hard to remember that we only have true control over ourselves, we can't control or be responsible for anyone else's actions or thoughts. It's hard because she's your mum, but she's relied on you and you alone for too long, cut the cord and breathe.
I really hope you can get yourself and your business back on your feet x