Escape into the Tea & Sympathy Support room.

[Chita]

If anyone posts and it gets missed or doesn't get a reply, don't take it to heart.
Its easy to miss posts on here, especially when there's a lot going on in heavier populated threads = eg, a lot of activity in the Harry & Meghan thread at the moment, so easy to accidentally miss stuff in here.



With the number of posters in that thread saying they are done with the Royal family, I'm glad I started this thread for somewhere else to come!!!!



Let off steam!
Rant!



It's better out than in.

 

[Nuttynana]

I've entered some kind of lockdown letgo! I used to wear make-up daily before last year, wouldn't be seen without it, now I barely even bother! I've let the grey hairs twinkle through and my body shape is Veruca Salt as the blueberry - little twig arms and legs with a beach ball middle!
I must start making more of an effort - I've gone from looking vaguely acceptable to a horror show. I've hardly seen any of my friends for the last 18 months and honestly, I don't think any of them would recognise me in the street!

It's only you that thinks that, get the slap on dye your hair put so mething comfortable but nice on and get out there. Your friends probably have the same problem as you.

After lock down ended I looked in the mirror and thought, fuck this followed by slap and a hair cut all very easily done

When my Daughter's saw me for the first time they said fuck me Mother sort yourself out you fat old slapper!! and I did.

 

[turkeydinosaurs]

We really are living groundhog day aren't we! You are entitled to a moan , some people seem to sail through life and others have it harder. It's not fair. I hope you get good news regarding step mum. Do something nice for yourself, you need a boost. Don't be sorry, the thread is here to let off steam

Thank you My mum has made me a nice Shepard’s pie for tea and just brought it round so I only need to heat it up. That and cuddles with my pug should help. Roll on 4pm when my shift is over.

 

[Nuttynana]

I've always struggled with mental health, now I'm older it's my physical health that's the issue...which causes more mental health issues! I've been sick for about 6 years so my husband and friends are probably tired of hearing about it now, I usually keep it quiet and self-medicate with my lovely cats and their cuddles. My husband sends me cute YouTube clips of animals when he senses I'm not doing well but nothing beats a good chat when you're down!

I



I love cats too and they are very calming but my 3 are cantankerous old bastards and if they could give me the finger they would.. I do swear quiet a lot but am going to give you a couple of tongue twisters to make you giggle

After me:

He rattles his bottles in rollockses yard

Old Mother Ruttercutts Rough Cut Punt

Tell yourself when you feel collar and cuff, that it is a cunning stunt and to feck right off

 

[Chita]

Yay dancing mushrooms!

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Hi, I need help. I'm not sure if I can write everything out properly as it's a public forum.

Essentially, I have a problem with a family member who is more than likely struggling with multiple undiagnosed mental illnesses.

I'm not medical, but more than likely autism (highly intelligent and educated), some kind of victim mentality - never this person's fault - but they are also superior to everyone else. They have a nasty, vindictive streak, will think nothing of taking "revenge" but also very mentally feeble, gullible and easily led by the nutters on the net (but can't see it). Maybe even some kind of psychopath?

I have been this person's victim my whole life, life at home revolved around keeping the peace with this person.

I spent some years with no contact which were happy and peaceful. Other (extended) family members admit to struggling, even over the phone. This person will call you up, then sit in silence, anything you do say will be repeated on FB but made to make them look like they are the victim (like Prince Harry but on steroids). They have no conversation besides "everyone else is stupid" no friends, no social life, nothing to chitchat about, nothing normal.

I have recently had the balls to clap back and point out this person's behaviour which did not go down well. They once again made out that it was someone else's fault.

I have no one to turn to, no way to figure out the truth. This person has a child but no one else besides me.

Do I stick around and have a fake relationship for their sake (it won't kill me to send a few messages or have awkward chats, even though that's never good enough) visits can be limited and they have never caused me physical harm, or cut all contact and live my life?

Part of me is irritated because I have suggested getting professional help, but this has been rejected (I kinda want to fix things and people all the time, probably from growing up this way). I would be more comfortable having a relationship with them if they were in therapy and helping themselves instead of listening to their bile.

Now, the question is, although it's nice to talk here, should I get some therapy for myself? Just to see how to handle the situation better (I can talk to some friends but it's very involved and I'm conscious of not boring people).

I can and will cut them out, but if they are not a psychopath, just struggling, the situation we are in would make that very heartless of me.

It sounds like narcissistic personality to me, I have a friend with this disorder and he can make me feel like I'm in the wrong every time we argue- we've been friends for decades, he's like a brother to me- but has been steadily getting worse. I can't advise on whether to keeep them around or not but to me if you've thought about therapy there's a chance it might be right for you. No harm in trying! A narc can and will bring you down for their own sense of worth so perhaps talking to someone with experience in the situations could benefit greatly.

 

[Chita]

Ive been a norty girl today.
I bought a bar of the new Cadbury's Caramilk.
Its a bit like Green and Black's white chocolate.
I have 2 voices in my head chattering.
One is saying, "join a gym and go to weightwatchers you big piglet."
The other is saying, "try this new chocolate bar"

 

[spangly]

I've always struggled with mental health, now I'm older it's my physical health that's the issue...which causes more mental health issues! I've been sick for about 6 years so my husband and friends are probably tired of hearing about it now, I usually keep it quiet and self-medicate with my lovely cats and their cuddles. My husband sends me cute YouTube clips of animals when he senses I'm not doing well but nothing beats a good chat when you're down!

I do get called a "Boomer" by my youngest because of it - but funny animal clips have got me through many a dark night...lol! Rabbits eating strawberries are my favourite - zombie bunnies!
Keep talking @MaineCoonMama <3
(Judging by your name, you keep Maine Coons? - have you got any photos?)

Oh @spangly you have been through it... You did great, mum is safe. Shows how much this thread is needed. All the upset and you still wowed us with great thread titles and brilliant posts... I hope you are good to yourself you deserve some "me me me"

Thanks @Doodlebug005

First - you have done the right thing.
Having a carer help out means you can look after you as well now.

Worst case, you don't like the carer - if that happens, you can ask for a different one. But im sure all will be fine.

Just dont treat the carer like Meghan allegedly treated her staff, okay?

Well, we haven't got a pool, but I could elbow her into a lukewarm bath!

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I've entered some kind of lockdown letgo! I used to wear make-up daily before last year, wouldn't be seen without it, now I barely even bother! I've let the grey hairs twinkle through and my body shape is Veruca Salt as the blueberry - little twig arms and legs with a beach ball middle!
I must start making more of an effort - I've gone from looking vaguely acceptable to a horror show. I've hardly seen any of my friends for the last 18 months and honestly, I don't think any of them would recognise me in the street!

I'm exactly the same! I'm considering naming my extra chins, tbh. They greys are out and proud, I have a box of dye my friend gave me but I don't know when I'll use it. We come out of our 5th lockdown-fingers crossed- on Tuesday and I'd like to see my friends but I kind of don't want to.

 

[Wightgirl]

If anyone posts and it gets missed or doesn't get a reply, don't take it to heart.
Its easy to miss posts on here, especially when there's a lot going on in heavier populated threads = eg, a lot of activity in the Harry & Meghan thread at the moment, so easy to accidentally miss stuff in here.



With the number of posters in that thread saying they are done with the Royal family, I'm glad I started this thread for somewhere else to come!!!!



Let off steam!
Rant!



It's better out than in.

Missed posts happen easily. I often see a quoted post and think ‘I don’t remember reading that’, click on it snd it takes me to posts that didn’t appear in my feed. Not sure why. Or maybe I somehow skip them. Anyway, as Chita said, it doesn’t mean nobody cares

 

[Rockin' Robin]

Thought for the day.

This is not directed at anyone on Tattle.

 

[VioletButterfly]

Thank you for the great new thread @Chita. I have found such kindred spirits her in a short time. And everyone needs a good virtual hug every once in a while. i[m very happy to be here. Ty.

 

[ChipDex]

Thanks for this thread.

 

[Doodlebug005]

Great idea for a thread!

My insomnia has flared up again. Mainly stress, partly too humid/airless weather...it's only been a few days and I'm already going insane. Not sleeping is one of the worst things ever.

I get bouts of it too, funny enough a bad night last night , I find the "sleep sounds" app great, it is free.

I listen to the relax one, it is waves going in and out( in a breathing pattern) i turn the twinkly music down so it is just nature. Defo helps me to nod off. So glad it is getting cooler. Give it a go. I also tell my brain to shut up a counsellor told me once, at night when brain is active ask yourself .. "Is this thinking helpful" no, and "Can I do anything about this right now" no..... It also helps I find.

@MaineCoonMama those cats are to die for

 

[Louk]

I get bouts of it too, funny enough a bad night last night , I find the "sleep sounds" app great, it is free. View attachment 680255
I listen to the relax one, it is waves going in and out( in a breathing pattern) i turn the twinkly music down so it is just nature. Defo helps me to nod off. So glad it is getting cooler. Give it a go. I also tell my brain to shut up a counsellor told me once, at night when brain is active ask yourself .. "Is this thinking helpful" no, and "Can I do anything about this right now" no..... It also helps I find.

@MaineCoonMama those cats are to die for

I was advised to get up and do something boring like the ironing.... Ummmm, no thanks

 

[Mrsoh]

I don't suffer with mental health issues, but I do work in a mental health hospital, I'm not a nurse or a doctor, but I sympathise and only wish you all well xx

 

[Chita]

@peachhes Just wanted to say I have felt *exactly* like this lots in the past. I have cried because there was washing up to do and it just felt too much and then cried because that made me feel so pathetic and then hated myself for sitting on the floor crying about trivial things. You're doing so well to keep getting from day to day because I've been there and I know its a fucking heroic effort to keep just existing. It definitely sounds like depression, feeling like a failure or letting people down is a big part of it for me too and a known symptom. But you aren't a failure and they won't feel like that, I promise.

But it sounds like you know you don't want to stay how you are and you're willing to reach out. I didn't have much help with doctors, athough recently one was quite helpful, but I found a private counsellor (obviously this costs money) a few years ago and spent a long time working through some issues that were my "root cause". I'll always have ups and downs because a) thats life and b) I went through a lot of stuff that I won't "get over" but I don't feel that bad very often anymore so please know there is hope it can improve for you. I didn't personally go down the medication route but I know loads of people who have and it really helped them so thats definitely an option too.

I am a list person so I tended to break things down into what absolutely had to be done. I would do the dentist first, get it out of the way, then the doctors the next week or longer if it could wait. If you achieve something from the boring "must-do" list then you must then do something nice that you enjoy. Listen to some music you love and have a dance, or read a chapter of a book, whatever floats your boat. I'm guessing you're not letting yourself do enjoyable stuff much because when we feel like we're "failing" we think we "don't deserve" the nice, good things in life. Thats crap. When you're struggling you deserve and NEED that stuff all the more, so make sure you fit in as much as you can. If you can enjoy little bits of things here and there it will help list the "whats the point" feeling, even if its just for a short time.

Hope this helps x

I bet this post resonates with a LOT of us.

The old molehill feels like a mountain to climb situation is very familiar.

My psychologist told me to think this way when I felt I was confronted with a mountain -

When people climb Everest they climb it one bit at a time.
They make a base camp and climb for a little while and then make camp again and continue this way until they reach the top.
That way it doesn't feel like one huge trauma to deal with.

 

[margaretta]

Yesterday I spent the whole day on my phone toggling between Tattle, google, twitter and facebook.
Hours and hours.
I have stuff to do but I just could not be arsed to do anything.
I wasnt feeling low particularly, I just couldn't raise any energy to shift myself.
So I was an idle bastard.

Im trying to rouse myself not to repeat that.
I have to go food shopping and im trying to motivate myself.

Have I still got to wear a mask? If so. I'll have to put make up on now my fizzog wont be hidden under cloth for the first time since last March.

Will the shelves be empty because all the truck drivers and shelf stackers are off work because the stupid App has pinged them and they are at home even though they are not ill?


It drives me nuts.

This is me today. Still in bed. Still doom scrolling. I’ve told myself I must get up at 1pm as I have work to do. Sigh.

 

[sparklesinwonderland]

Well done! Remember, your meds are working on your brain but you need to do your bit physically as well, with just a wee nudge here and a bit of a push there. There will be days and even weeks when you just can't, but remember the little buzz you got putting the note on the mirror and get back on the horse. It's a hard row to hoe and will take time.

I folded the laundry today! I did it! Even put another load in for tomorrow to catch up. Also made a real (microwaved but actual food- rice, peas, cubed tofu) dinner. I’m writing out a new sticky note for my mirror for tomorrow. Thank you for the long distance support, all.

 

[Louk]

Try not to fret re the carers. I think when horror stories come out about the odd ones that the reality is they are indeed the odd ones and all the others are beavering away doing their best for their clients with no acknowledgement.
Your mum will be fine with them and it gives you time to get yourself back into a better place mentally. Good luck.

My mum had a carer, she put her in the bath and I decided to strip the bed. After a short time I heard...
"wash yer penny"
I literally ran downstairs with the sheets and died. It really tickled me