Thank you all for replying!
The reason he gave me was more legit than the nan falling but I get what you all mean about lame excuses
my friend and I had a discussion about his excuse, it feels a bit too deep and personal to be an excuse but you can never be 100% that's why I'm feeling like I want an answer sooner than later!
I'd be messaging to see whether he's placeholdering me or not once and for all!
If we are going to be meeting up then then I'd like a bit more frequency than what's been so far, I'm not interested in someone whose gonna talk the game but only pop around every equinox or whatever
Would asking to meet for drinks sound like asking out on a date date?
I'd be meaning for it to be more chilled than that, I'd be thinking I'm meeting up not having a date?! So if I messaged I'd probably just say meet up!
His message seemed out of the blue not to lead onto a hook up suggestion straight away, and he seemed sincere in how he was talking. I wasn't flirting cause I was testing the waters almost with it being a couple of weeks since we last spoke, and I think he could be too. He knows I'm on on dating apps so maybe not sure if I'm interested still - but that works with the placeholder thing too!
If I did message him and I got a dubious excuse or a vague time frame then that's when I'd be like fuck off
might not necessarily say it to him, but his answer would be clear as day even if he won't say it directly.
As would ignoring my message, and if he did that and then messaged me a couple of weeks later like this time then I'd ignore his message too (I know you'd say block but I've mixed feeling about blocking etc - just gotta be strong with the ignore game and either you're not fussed by them or you'll remove them when you're in a positive mindframe later on in life)
We don't live in the same town, but are a 15 minute train ride away from each other with pretty regular trains into the evening. I quite like that as it gives us our independence, that's really important to me after previously living with a partner.
He's also more social than me, so I know that he'd be doing stuff like that but good?! Always need a balance of friendship and relationships it's healthy?
The difference would be once/if we've established something between us we should both be open to make the space for them in our lives (again, that links to above where I said I'm not interested in talking for months for a once in a while fling) and maintain that - if it can't be maintained then its not working
Oh he also doesn't hate my cat it was all said in jest
but my cat did jump all over him in the night but he was cuddling her the next morning. He'd been camping several nights before so probably bigged up a night in a bed
I was a crazy cat woman when he met me 8 years ago he knows what he's getting himself into
I never see F1 mentioned with a roast (that’s how I spend most my Sundays tbh so I’m up for it)
I haven’t really brought it up in therapy yet, I’m trying to keep myself as busy as possible but my brain is just going slightly mad at the moment and making my already existing anxiety so much worse.
