Dating after lockdown #31 More ghosts than a cemetery!

[Walnutss]

Urgh I hate when guys ask ‘ where are you from originally’ . Being black doesn’t automatically mean I wasn’t born in England.

Its a line used by guys in my experience, I'm.half Italian but as Italian as a half jar of dolmio but darker skin...I get it all the time

 

[unidentified]

Average Tinder lineup in London tbh

You should try Cumbria

 

[SpindleWhorl]

Aww, @LaBlonde! Right back atcha (I lurk on the Eastenders thread and your hatred of Ben cracks me up )

I matched with someone yesterday who wanted to get me onto Instagram and in his DMs Suffice to say, I didn’t take up the offer. I’m worth more than just being a follower!

I had this and he never spoke to me again but he watches all my stories. Weird.

 

[EddyDarling]

What's this bio all about

View attachment 2356651

Good luck with that Lozza pal

 

[Sir Lancelot]

Is the toe sucking more about them being at his eye level??? Seriously though, a friend of mine is on a site as she prefers dom men and the absolute horror stories she has - I can't believe she is still interested in this type of man. As someone said above, less dom more blatant misogynist. And apparently the all practice this 'ethical monogomy' thing. Sure you do dude.

FetLife has some men who clearly just want to be abusive BUT the community there as a whole is protective of one another so usually any outliers get found out and booted; if they haven't already, send your friend there. Just avoid FabSwingers as a single woman!

 

[LaBlonde]

This is off topic I’m sorry but I have no idea where to ask and you’re all so great and helpful. I have my first child free day in 6months on Saturday!! Just found out, so I think I want to go to London for the day on my own. Am I best booking a show now or can I just rock up on the day and buy tickets? I’ve wanted to see heathers for ages. Im thinking borough market for some food but I don’t really know tbh

if you desperately want to see a particular show i would book in advance (i think you book for heathers directly through the other palace website) especially for a saturday!

if not, you can download the todaytix apps which will give you daily deals and offers, but this will only be for certain shows.

i always love a market for food in london tbh - though i usually end up with the amazing street food in camden the other palace is in the centre of victoria though so you have lots of options there if you don’t want to go far from the theatre.

have an amazing day x

 

[EddyDarling]

Came across this awhile back and sent it to myself. I was re-reading it yesterday as a reminder and the latter part of the article is especially useful for establishing when your connection isn’t particularly solid: https://www.bolde.com/12-signs-connection-real/

Oh shit that 12 signs list is exactly how I describe me and me tinder fella
He's almost as funny as I am

 

[Ciaranicola]

I don't know, I'm not usually this sassy haha. I genuinely don't know if he is actually sorry or if this is him pissed wanting a late night booty call & me on the back burner

Hard to know when they're out with the boys. Does he go out often? Or is it a rare occurrence? I think as we get older boys night cam be rare so it might be a big deal.

Your right ignoring him tonight anyway and let him sweat and then reply tomorrow And make definite plans!

 

[Sunflower16]

What about women who don’t like cats?…I’m not a fan so I’d choose not to date someone who has one. Cats wouldn’t text you back whilst dogs would double text #teamdog

I have a date tomorrow with someone who seems absolutely lovely. It’s so shit, isn’t it though? That you can’t let yourself get excited or optimistic because of all the absolute numpties who’ve completely drained you. Dating, eh?

Laughing at your first comment here, it's so true! Cats don't give one single f***!
Your head would be wrecked with dating!
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I don’t really post in this thread, I only did once at the beginning of Jan. I was upset because I’d been speaking to someone for a few weeks, met him and slept with him on NYE and he ghosted me after, basically saying he didn’t see anything between us. It really knocked my confidence, because although I know my worth, it still hurt to be shut down.

Fast forward to July and I’m in the best relationship. I’ve met the person I think I’m going to marry and he truly treats me exactly how it’s supposed to be. He was 100% from the beginning and I never had to doubt if he wanted to be with me.

I think the point I’m trying to make is that it really does come when you least expect it, and the right person will act correct from the beginning without being told. You’ll never be wondering, because they’ll text first, reply quickly and the effort won’t waiver or be inconsistent. I was under the impression you just “had” to deal with fuck boy behaviour - with the right person you won’t

Love this

 

[Lorelei]

Agree, kink is supposed to feel amazing. That's the point. In my experience on FetLife it's actually men who call out and cancel other guys, I suppose because there's a bit of a stigma so genuine doms are keen to show dom doesn't mean arsehole.

Yeah surely it should be the opposite! And it's so important to feel safe in that sort of situation. She has shared that she's been hit quite a bit and I really had to tread carefully because I didn't want to shame her but it certainly didn't sound enjoyable.

 

[Morleybbz]

I think I need a slap so I don't listen to my gut so line up guys, it might take a couple of goes to knock some sense into me

I'm usually sickened by even the most basic PDAs but a couple came into my work today holding hands and just cute in their general demeanor together... and it made me think of my friend from the other month and how we'd look good together out like that shoot me now

I don't think the timing is right now, but my guts telling me to shoot him a 'hey, how are you?' And start talking to him again... Its also telling me he needs time as he left a long term relationship (of like 5 years) and probably needs space to have some fun and 'spread his seed' so to say... and I have been trying to do the same on the apps!
My heads just putting deadlines relating to my personal life into the timeframe of things it did seem like perfect timing for him to reappear in my life without getting too much into the personal fuckery that is my head haha!

So yeah. Smack some sense into me please

- - -

I have also started getting people outside of my distance range on tinder so imagine it's a lot of scam accounts or whatever...

Of the 15 local matches only one has held a decent conversation. 2? Maybe have messaged since my last post and one was certainly dead in the ground straight away by their replies that I knew there was no point replying to them.
The one guy I am talking to I can see the conversation dying too. Gone through all the questions and not got something properly in common so can't see that going anywhere...

 

[Thank(space)you]

Well so far I've been left on read today hopefully it is just he's had a busy day at work & now busy with his kids. We usually message when love island is on about the show so we shall see!

He has replied - as predicted said he's had a bust day etc etc
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Girls what would you do if someone told you after just two dates that they were leaving the apps and did not want to continue seeing other people? I could see it coming but I’m still a bit taken aback right now!

I think if I liked them I'd be pleased, I dunno, it's been so long since I've been in that position how long have you been talking? What do you want to do?

 

[Flowergirl14]

I would feel so uncomfortable with that.

I can understand that, especially when in your home. But I didn't...maybe that's just me. Second time it has happened to me, a gardener last time.

I think these guys just see a divorced woman on her own and think she might be up for it. I'm not!

 

[SpindleWhorl]

I'm over-gasped

 

[harveydean]

OMG this is fabulous! How do you do it? Are you excited?

I am so excited! We are going for dinner on Saturday…

I honestly don’t know. I’ve been told by male friends is because I’m very confident but a little aloof - I don’t play games but I know what I want.

We will see…I’m not settling but man he is HOT!!!

 

[LaBlonde]

Yes, yes he did. Then he told me why this morning
I've told him he's pretty sexy for a short ginger man.

omg

 

[Lorelei]

FetLife has some men who clearly just want to be abusive BUT the community there as a whole is protective of one another so usually any outliers get found out and booted; if they haven't already, send your friend there. Just avoid FabSwingers as a single woman!

It's nice to hear that the community is supportive tbh the men seem to just use her and she tells me the sex is pretty awful just to add insult to injury. I'll let her know about FetLife - personally though I think she is getting off on the bad experiences because of underlying issues. I could be wrong though.

 

[Hi there]

@triesherbest any update on the second guy you had a date with the tall, Greek works for a political party? No chance there?

 

[misunderstood]

& @misunderstood ladies I am very sorry you get asked/spoken to this way. I often match with black/mixed raced men when I do go on the apps and I am genuinely interested in their family background and I would want them to be interested in mine too. Is it ok to ask what their heritage is? Or how else would you frame a question like this that’s a genuine interest rather than almost like a micro aggression?

The guy was black so I think he genuinely thought I was from Africa/ Caribbean, if he said what’s your heritage I wouldn’t be that miffed.
I think it’s the assumption that I’m not British born , it’s just annoying sometimes.
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& @misunderstood ladies I am very sorry you get asked/spoken to this way. I often match with black/mixed raced men when I do go on the apps and I am genuinely interested in their family background and I would want them to be interested in mine too. Is it ok to ask what their heritage is? Or how else would you frame a question like this that’s a genuine interest rather than almost like a micro aggression?

It is totally okay to ask about someone’s heritage as it shows that you are interested. Asking about their culture and history as some people have lived such exciting lives.
I think it’s how you phase the question and the tone as well.

 

[Sunflower16]

I mean, he sounds perfect, right?

What is wrong with me?

Nothing wrong with you at all, if you're not feeling it, you can't force it. Sounds like you've a super fun summer ahead!
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The cutest builder ever is doing up the flat next door to me and we've bumped into each other several times and always get chatting. Inevitably I am looking like a troll - first time I was all sweaty after hauling my suitcase up on the tube and I was flustered because I didn't want him getting into the lift with me and blocking it. But I'm quite a chatty outgoing person when I'm not in a foul mood (rare!) and we had a nice exchange. Today I rolled out of bed and went to take the bin out (of course!) looking my absolute worst but smiled at him. And then when I came back from the shop we ended up in the lift again so I asked him how it was going and he said he was stressed as he has to get the project done by the end of the month. I told him he needed to negotiate for more money and he said 'I like you're thinking' and I told him I could negotiate for him.......... a bit flirty I guess?

He is super cute, a lot younger than me but I'm wondering if I should be bold here and fulfill a fantasy? Or just kick myself for not looking more presentable?

Go for it! Nothing wrong with a bit of harmless fun if you're both on the same page