LaBlonde
VIP Member
send him of a photo of your cat and block him there too.
- Notice
Universal
Chatty Member
Just checking in to say take all of the @Clickbait advice to those who are dating.
Me? I've decided I just hate everyone. Ill stay on this thread to cheerleader you all though.
Me? I've decided I just hate everyone. Ill stay on this thread to cheerleader you all though.
LaBlonde
VIP Member
CRACKING GUY FUN
BIG JEEP YATCH
IM GOOD BEING PURE DRY
it’s like a haiku - strangely beautiful
harveydean
VIP Member
I’m totally team cat. What a wanker! No need to reply.
harveydean
VIP Member
A couple were actually quite funny…until their photo was revealed and I felt my vagina clam up.Bumble speed dating is the worst, 3 minutes is too long on those men. Sometimes when I’m bored and need a laugh I will talk to one or two
Use his T-shirt to clean the toilet with.Awww @Thank(space)you, I’m so sorry about what the neighbour has said. Why the hell do they go down these roads with us only to about turn?! He wasn’t worth it and you definitely deserve better. Tbh, I think better right now is a man free existence.
I’ve been there with a Mum saying things they shouldn’t, my Mum told me when I was 16 she wished I’d died instead of my brotherwhen I went on to develop bulimia and she found out her first words were “how could you do this to me?” It’s difficult because they’re the first people that are meant to love us unconditionally but they didn’t. Mums, eh?
Thank you to everyone who’s asked if I’m ok, I‘m not ok but I know that’s alright. I just feel so numb and flat. The confusion is the hardest to deal with. I dialled 141 and then his number and left a voicemail yesterday expressing this (in a calm manner) but obviously I’ve heard nothing back. It’s just left me feeling so disorientated, he was so lovely to me, so lovely that I’m having a hard time accepting what he’s done, you know? I really thought he got it and was someone who would be able to have an upfront discussion if he wasn’t feeling it anymore. In fact, he’d promised this and that he wouldn’t misuse my feelings. So for him to do exactly that is just cutting. He’s not a fuckboy, he’s not someone who wasn’t consistent or gave me mixed messages, so it’s just left me in absolute shock and so disappointed, because I did think he was different. My brain hates the unknown so I’m really battling with the what ifs. What happened between him telling me he’d finished work and was coming over to choosing to block me?! We never argued or had tense moments. It was just always so lovely and now it’s not and I don’t know why
I have one of his shirts here, and I’m in two minds whether to post it to his work address (I don’t know his home one) with a letter. Just to get it out of my system. That’s crazy behaviour though, right? I just want him to know how it’s made me feel.
Clementine
VIP Member
How can someone say things like this, make me think they were on their way over and then just block me?! I know in the grand scheme of things it’s absolutely no time but we (or so I thought) really connected. Please let me never go near a man again. I can’t take it. I’m so embarassed. Mortified for myself to think I’d met someone different 
Words really mean nothing, don’t they?
Words really mean nothing, don’t they?
Ciaranicola
Well-known member
Delighted you had a great time and seems to be alloooooot of chemistry which is never a bad thing.We met at 6pm last night and I've only just left his place.
We went to a museum/bar type of thing which he was excited to show me apparently, it was super thoughtful of him. Held hands kissed when we first saw each other etc.
TMI At his we pretty much had sex straight away, we did it so many times throughout the evening i lost count.. he's a machine... he also goes down on me a lot which is amazing cause he knows how to do it well. I took some sexy lingerie with me too which he appreciated a lot haha. Needless to say we are sexually compatible but we already know this.
We also watched some funny things on his TV while cuddling, went on his PC a bit while I sat on his lap...... then fucked again.. loadssssss of cuddling and spooning while we slowly woke up this morning... had sex again... watched guardians of the galaxy today cuddling on his sofa... then did it again before I lefttwo horny teenagers wtf.... but I'm only having sex with him this much cause I like him.
I'm also having to get the morning after pill again. Its worth it cause the sex is great lol but we talked about me going on the birth control pill briefly, but one of my conditions for that is to be in a relationship with the person I'm doing it with. I didn't say this because I didn't want to ruin the mood and get all serious and scare him.
There was talk about next time again and going to the cinema together. But whenever I'd bring up something slightly relationshippy i felt an energy shift. We talked about food and cooking and he was on about some burgers he makes and I was like "will you make them for me" and he said "we'll see" avoiding eye contact lol. Then we were talking about our types, I'm a tall blonde, so I said "you don't mind tall girls right?" (He's only slightly taller than me) and he was like it doesn't bother me at all. He said he doesn't really have a type and I said as a joke "I bet your ex was a short brunette haha" and he was like "you're overthinking" and like cuddled me tighter. It's like he wants to avoid any talk about commitment.
I can feel this turning into a "we're dating/ seeing each other" situationship over the summer and I'm not sure how I feel about it. We're so comfortable around each other, have so much in common, how could he not want more with me..... we've only known each other 3 weeks but the way he's responding when I approach any topic resembling relationships is making me uneasy.
Anyway I had a really nice time overall I guess that's all that matters for now. I really hope he's not seeing anyone else but I don't want to ask because I'm scared of the answer
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Also his Corgi bloody loves me and I love her ffs
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Also his Corgi bloody loves me and I love her ffs
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Also his Corgi bloody loves me and I love her ffs
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I don't know why the corgi thing posted 3 times im walking around London sorry
If you are not in an exclusive relationship with a clean bill of health I would 100% be not having sex without a condom. STIs are so so prevalent. IMO the hassle of an STI is worse than the "hassle" of a putting on a condom.
Unsure what to make of the vibes of talking about a relationship.mit has only been three weeks ..is this date 3 or 4? I personally would be out the door if a person was steering me towards relationship/exclusivity talk so early on.
I think at week 3 if it's going well it's basically at the " Im really enjoying spending time with you let's see where this goes phase."
When do you plan on seeing each other again? You definitely read like you are heavily in lust at this stage which can be a lovely stage to be in...just maybe thread carefully for now x
Lalla
VIP Member
Ah @triesherbest 
I think this shows a difference between (some) men and women...that he's happy doing coupley things but without any coupley intent. It doesn't mean he wants more or even that he will want more at any future point.
Maybe because I'm an old lady of 51 and because sex has never been that big a deal to me, I don't like the way he seems to view sexual compatibility as some kind of important test that you had to pass to be worthy of his time, that gives me the ick straight off. I feel like if you'd not had sex with him early on he might well not have pursued things or seen you again and just kept seeing the other person instead that he slept with after you, but also kept dating/ shagging others because clearly that's where he's at, he isn't wanting a relationship, he just likes company and sex.
I think you deserve much better, but also a good break from all of it will probably help
I think this shows a difference between (some) men and women...that he's happy doing coupley things but without any coupley intent. It doesn't mean he wants more or even that he will want more at any future point. Maybe because I'm an old lady of 51 and because sex has never been that big a deal to me, I don't like the way he seems to view sexual compatibility as some kind of important test that you had to pass to be worthy of his time, that gives me the ick straight off. I feel like if you'd not had sex with him early on he might well not have pursued things or seen you again and just kept seeing the other person instead that he slept with after you, but also kept dating/ shagging others because clearly that's where he's at, he isn't wanting a relationship, he just likes company and sex.
I think you deserve much better, but also a good break from all of it will probably help
triesherbest
Chatty Member
i have a lot to update with aha. so as i've said many times me and henry cavill guy have been texting every day for like a month, a few phone calls, had two really nice dates. so on thursday we had a phone call, it got steamy again and he said a few things which made me pretty confident he's not fugkcing anyone else, so when we hung up i don't know what came over me but i just texted and asked him.
he said he's not, but he has been on some dates. i asked if he'd slept with any of them, and he said he had, one girl and they used protection, and it was after our first date. he hasn't since our second.
because of how intimate we are and how much we talk, i just said that i'm not comfortable with him sleeping with other girls if we're going to continue seeing each other and doing what we do. he said it's too soon to go exclusive, which i know is probably true. i asked if he liked me. he said 'i do' 'but i'm where i was before - i can't promise a relationship but i do like you. although sexual compatibility is important to me so now i also know ours is on point'. this is all well and good but one of the last messages in this conversation was 'i do like you but i'm worried you may like me more and i don't want to hurt you in the long run...'
so i just said 'honestly that already sounds like you don't see a relationship, which is fine, i'd rather know now instead of the 'can't promise' stuff' and he said 'i don't know is the answer - i think it's too fast paced to be having these talks, but thank you for speaking your mind'......... this was all before our date saturday, and we agreed we'd still go on it.
he is right, it's very early. and on one hand i sound a bit clingy - i know that. but on the other hand i'm proud of myself for voicing my boundaries, and he knows how i feel now. i can't shake the feeling that he is just in this for fun, he talks to me all the time but it's because it's fun for him. i don't want to waste my time and see him while he dates other girls, i'm scared that we'll be in this situationship-type-thing until he finds someone he really likes then stops seeing me....
some of my friends told me 'he just needs time - it is early and he likes you'. a couple of my other friends told me not to go this weekend. at the end of the day, i wanted a nice weekend and was looking forward to it, so i went anyway.
we saw barbie at an everyman cinema, it was lovely. he acts so coupley with me in person. as soon as we met, he said there's a beer festival near his place tomorrow so we can go to that together. after the movie we walked his dog (fucking adorable corgi who loves me ugh..), then watched another movie at his place, had great sex (protection was used this time), ordered food, watched more stuff, had more sex... just like the other times really. i just wanted to enjoy it for what it is. loads of cuddling on his sofa. again so coupley, for example, when we went to bed to actually sleep, he was reading on his kindle and i was turned over on my phone, and he said 'are you going to cuddle me while i read?' and asked me to scratch his back and stuff.....
today we woke up cuddling and holding hands - i am very conscious of being too cuddly in bed and usually won't do it unless it's initiated, so this was all him. we walked his dog, had sex again, watched another film then took his dog to the beer festival with us then went back to his for a bit longer before i left.
it was too good to be true, but in a way i'm glad we had the conversation before this weekend so i kind of know that this is a dead end and just enjoyed it for what it was. he likes me, but not enough to stop seeing other people....... i feel like he would know by now if he wanted to pursue things. a couple of my guy friends have said the same. so my plan was to just have a fun, drama free weekend (FUCKING ROLEPLAYING A COUPLE....) then pull back a bit. we are also both quite busy the next couple weeks, so now would be a good time to take a step back i think and see if we meet again later in august. i won't put more effort in now, if he chases me he chases, but i know the score already pretty much and i feel like it will end in tears if i don't protect myself and pull back
sorry for essay
he said he's not, but he has been on some dates. i asked if he'd slept with any of them, and he said he had, one girl and they used protection, and it was after our first date. he hasn't since our second.
because of how intimate we are and how much we talk, i just said that i'm not comfortable with him sleeping with other girls if we're going to continue seeing each other and doing what we do. he said it's too soon to go exclusive, which i know is probably true. i asked if he liked me. he said 'i do' 'but i'm where i was before - i can't promise a relationship but i do like you. although sexual compatibility is important to me so now i also know ours is on point'. this is all well and good but one of the last messages in this conversation was 'i do like you but i'm worried you may like me more and i don't want to hurt you in the long run...'
so i just said 'honestly that already sounds like you don't see a relationship, which is fine, i'd rather know now instead of the 'can't promise' stuff' and he said 'i don't know is the answer - i think it's too fast paced to be having these talks, but thank you for speaking your mind'......... this was all before our date saturday, and we agreed we'd still go on it.
he is right, it's very early. and on one hand i sound a bit clingy - i know that. but on the other hand i'm proud of myself for voicing my boundaries, and he knows how i feel now. i can't shake the feeling that he is just in this for fun, he talks to me all the time but it's because it's fun for him. i don't want to waste my time and see him while he dates other girls, i'm scared that we'll be in this situationship-type-thing until he finds someone he really likes then stops seeing me....
some of my friends told me 'he just needs time - it is early and he likes you'. a couple of my other friends told me not to go this weekend. at the end of the day, i wanted a nice weekend and was looking forward to it, so i went anyway.
we saw barbie at an everyman cinema, it was lovely. he acts so coupley with me in person. as soon as we met, he said there's a beer festival near his place tomorrow so we can go to that together. after the movie we walked his dog (fucking adorable corgi who loves me ugh..), then watched another movie at his place, had great sex (protection was used this time), ordered food, watched more stuff, had more sex... just like the other times really. i just wanted to enjoy it for what it is. loads of cuddling on his sofa. again so coupley, for example, when we went to bed to actually sleep, he was reading on his kindle and i was turned over on my phone, and he said 'are you going to cuddle me while i read?' and asked me to scratch his back and stuff.....
today we woke up cuddling and holding hands - i am very conscious of being too cuddly in bed and usually won't do it unless it's initiated, so this was all him. we walked his dog, had sex again, watched another film then took his dog to the beer festival with us then went back to his for a bit longer before i left.
it was too good to be true, but in a way i'm glad we had the conversation before this weekend so i kind of know that this is a dead end and just enjoyed it for what it was. he likes me, but not enough to stop seeing other people....... i feel like he would know by now if he wanted to pursue things. a couple of my guy friends have said the same. so my plan was to just have a fun, drama free weekend (FUCKING ROLEPLAYING A COUPLE....) then pull back a bit. we are also both quite busy the next couple weeks, so now would be a good time to take a step back i think and see if we meet again later in august. i won't put more effort in now, if he chases me he chases, but i know the score already pretty much and i feel like it will end in tears if i don't protect myself and pull back
sorry for essay
EyeLoveIcelands
Member
@Clementine
This sucks, sorry. That said, his messages red like “love bombing” to me; a red flag maybe after less than a month of dating. Some men can be so wicked. Block and delete.
This sucks, sorry. That said, his messages red like “love bombing” to me; a red flag maybe after less than a month of dating. Some men can be so wicked. Block and delete.
harveydean
VIP Member
Nope, I’m super fussy when it comes to pics. I find bed ones repellant. Plus I rate their choice in bed linen. Poly cotton and you’re dead to me.
Rayne
VIP Member
Absolutely do not see him later if he texts youI messaged neighbour to ask if we were meeting tonight or not & he replied saying he's ended up going pub with his mates so he will let me know if he's about later
I messaged on Monday asking about meeting today and tbh I'm really pissed off I'm being treated as a back up plan.
I've had a horrible day anyway so I'm just crying on the train like an idiot
Thank(space)you
VIP Member
Well second date went really well! Picnic on the beach with a bottle of wine (for me, he drove) fingers crossed I see him again (neighbour)
Work guy is a total f boy, to the point I told my manager just to cover my back
Work guy is a total f boy, to the point I told my manager just to cover my back
It’s so easy (and normal) to romanticise past relationships because you always remember the good stuff, especially when you have been single for a while, and particularly when you date someone new as I think you automatically compare it a tiny bit. I know you haven’t gone into the reasons why but try and remind yourself why you broke up and remember that it it wasn’t always beaches and holidays!
Also, please try and not feel the pressure of turning 30. If it’s any consolation, I’m 33, as single as could be, having had many serious relationships who are all married/engaged now. If you hypothetically met the love of your life who you’d spend forever with at the age of 40, for example, you would still have (probably more than) FORTY years together, give or take. Sometimes I have to remind myself I should count myself lucky I get to meet and date lots of different people (if I ever bothered my arse to try out the apps again that is….!)
I wonder if the guy you’re dating is holding you back a bit from this. I know from your posts you’re super ready for a committed settled relationship (which is totally fine). Do you think you need to scrap this fella and start afresh?
EddyDarling
VIP Member
Girlies and guylies I'm so excited for my date next week 
He's such a nice guy and he's already being an absolute gent about everything, he assumed he was picking me up he always pays for the first date he doesn't find me annoying, he's asking me what I like men to wear but he's also taking charge of the actual date itself
I'm so excited I don't know what to wear
He's such a nice guy and he's already being an absolute gent about everything, he assumed he was picking me up he always pays for the first date he doesn't find me annoying, he's asking me what I like men to wear but he's also taking charge of the actual date itself
I'm so excited I don't know what to wear
sleepflowers
VIP Member
I'd just say 'well the man of my dreams wouldn't make me choose between him and the cat
'
Universal
Chatty Member
Omg @Clementine Ive just caught up. What a knob. I hope you are ok today.
Don’t look for answers - he’s a knob, end of.
I’ve given up on dating as I realised I find so few men attractive or interesting.
Don’t look for answers - he’s a knob, end of.
I’ve given up on dating as I realised I find so few men attractive or interesting.
LaBlonde
VIP Member
i wouldn’t feel bad. blocking closes the door when, imo, not blocking leaves it open. or at least ajar.
everyone has their own issues and their own pasts. directly choosing to hurt or cause anxiety to someone else because of your own fears is not on.
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also EVERYONE is scared of being hurt?! it isn’t a unique feeling in a relationship. just a complete cop-out and cowardly af.