This is actually very true especially in females. In females ADHD has very similar traits to BPD and a lot of women have been misdiagnosed. I am on that thread and I’ve know of it happening quite a bit to women who were not diagnosed in childhood.Fellow BPD here too
I am in a relationship, it is safe and secure. duck knows why he puts up with me at times though!
I think you are all absolutely amazing because i couldnt date in todays world. I would get far too obsessed with the biggest cunts, wouldnt give the nice guys a chance, and i would take everything far too personally, and knowing me i would end falling in love with Ted Bundy!
Ohh talking of ADHD, i just found out from a different thread that we have a lot in common and share lots of behaviours, and apparently women are misdiagnosed as having BPD when they really have ADHD. I never knew any of this until a couple of hours ago.
*sorry for going off topic*.
And i dont mean to come across as patronising at all, but i really do think you are all amazing to be dating- it shows how strong you all are because i couldnt do it in todays world. Fear of rejection and abandonment from the apps would duck me up completely.
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Tomorrows date has been postponed until next weekend but no big dramas! We’ve been talking constantly for so long that an extra week is nothing. More time to look forward to it 
I finally told the man I am 'wayyy' emotionally involved with to leave me alone.
It is extremely hurting me and I feel somewhat heart broken. I know I am nothing but a melt but I truly thought we, or at least I believed, that we had something quite unique.
Why would a man spend so much of his time just to be a waste of space. Making lies (At least I believe) leaving me frequently waiting for a response at least two weeks, cancelling on me time and time again...
...
Am I that naive to how people can be so silly? Somebody mentioned that the dating pool is extremely small and forming connections is rare so this has hit me hard.
I am hurting and I have only just realised how invested I actually was.
I am lonely and all of my life I have been fine with this but I am sensitive to it now, so very recently. How do I overcome this?
It is extremely hurting me and I feel somewhat heart broken. I know I am nothing but a melt but I truly thought we, or at least I believed, that we had something quite unique.
Why would a man spend so much of his time just to be a waste of space. Making lies (At least I believe) leaving me frequently waiting for a response at least two weeks, cancelling on me time and time again...
...
Am I that naive to how people can be so silly? Somebody mentioned that the dating pool is extremely small and forming connections is rare so this has hit me hard.
I am hurting and I have only just realised how invested I actually was.
I am lonely and all of my life I have been fine with this but I am sensitive to it now, so very recently. How do I overcome this?
Can't wait for more updates...Tomorrows date has been postponed until next weekend but no big dramas! We’ve been talking constantly for so long that an extra week is nothing. More time to look forward to it
When you have a really stinky kebab for dinner so you have to turn down the chance to meet up with someone, FML 
@Boadicea1 Well done for walking away.. I know how hard that is.
How did he react? Has he offered an explanation and said he will fix those problems or just accepted it?
How did he react? Has he offered an explanation and said he will fix those problems or just accepted it?
He said he thought he had responded to me and he apologised.
Honestly how do you 'think' you have responded to somebody. It was a strange answer.
I told him I felt he has not been truthful with me and that as much as I want him I am not going to beg for his time or affection. I told him not to respond to me (It's better that way) as I won't reply again.
Hope you start to feel better now it’s done.
I just bite the bullet and go to a pub by myself. Eventually you get to know the locals.
Got the number of a guy who I've known for a year or so now the other day that way.
I did the same….it’s how I got my last boyfriend. You also get to know who’s married….who’s a prick etc. I’ve made a lot of good mates just from my local pub.
Also I feel like it makes them more accountable and less likely to ghost etc. The guy who asked for my number is a regular and I'm good friends with his best mate and best mate's dad
. If he goes AWOL I can just ask them or catch him when he's next in.I have complex PTSD from an unstable childhood which shares a lot of the same traits too.
So question - during a early dating stages or even a one night thing is it common for guys to just not go down or really do anything for the girl? I was with my ex so long and that would always be included before or after but the 2 people I have slept with since it wasn’t even acknowledged, the sex was good but literally just went from kissing to bj to shag and barely any foreplay. Guess it just depends on the guy maybe?
Hmm
It could just be them or they might only care about themselves. They wouldn’t be getting their cock sucked from me if I wasn’t get the favour returned.Mine is obsessed with doing it and foreplay but some friends don’t do it at all so I’d say you’d have to look at the bigger picture to see if they are selfish fucks.
That’s tit. Is it a generational thing? I’m late 40’s but the vast majority of my partners since my divorce (I was 41 then, I’m 47 now), understand they have to go down on me first until I cum as their willy is unlikely to do it on a first time sesh. The few who haven’t, I’ve not been back for a round 2.
This is of a sample of about 12, I’d say 9 did oral on me before penetration and 3 who didn’t. They turned out to be fuk-boys anyway. It’s important to me that a man loves to go down on me. If he’s not into it…sorry…..next!
Hmm
Mine is obsessed with doing it and foreplay but some friends don’t do it at all so I’d say you’d have to look at the bigger picture to see if they are selfish fucks.
Thanks - wasn’t sure if maybe I’m expecting too much from a casual encounter
They were both quite young too (mid-late 20s) so maybe that’s why.Hmm they sound like selfish porn obsessed wankers. If they don’t worship your pussy (sorry to be crass) but honestly they can just duck off. And in future, never give a BJ before they’ve shown what they can give you. I do actually tell my own daughter this…! She’s 24 before anyone calls social services!Thanks - wasn’t sure if maybe I’m expecting too much from a casual encounter
Not really. I'd say most guys I have been with for the first time have gone down or at least offered!?
I know some women don't like it but I think it is also a reciprocal thing so they'd at least offer to do it?
I've never experienced it that way. The guy I'm shagging loves it - he's cum from it before.
Don't be afraid to ask for it, if it's what you want!
This has absolutely been my experience of late (I've had a lot of ONS and casual sex) BUT I've decided that I now am not gonna accept sex where I do not cum.
Haha! I just always feel bad asking a guy to do it as I imagine it’s probably quite a gross thing for them to do
That’s just my own insecurity I suppose as like many have said a lot of guys actually enjoy it.- Status