Dating after lockdown #13 Halloween the ghost(er)s favourite season 🎃

[grumpy_curry]

If Paris Hilton has finally managed find someone decent enough to marry her after all her disastrous track-record, I think we'll all going to be fine

Don't lose hope!

I know that wasn't your point but it's actually quite sad - she was "abducted" into one of those teenage re-education camps as a teenager and it did a number on her. Later her fucked up bf leaked their sextape and she was the joke of the decade.

I really don't like how we devalue women when they are less than perfect in the public perception. She's a human being. Noone should be used for a "see, even she found someone though she was a total hoe". Replace "hoe" with "fat" or "ugly" or "hairy" or "psycho" or whatever negatives we women aren't allowed to be, and it would cut down any one of us.

 

[radoxdetox]

Ok I have a sneaky suspicion that the absolute ijeet I went on a date with this weekend actually has a partner. It’s the super super intense and then very very quiet. It’s not fair on anyone.

 

[TheGlossy]

I know that wasn't your point but it's actually quite sad - she was "abducted" into one of those teenage re-education camps as a teenager and it did a number on her. Later her fucked up bf leaked their sextape and she was the joke of the decade.

I really don't like how we devalue women when they are less than perfect in the public perception. She's a human being. Noone should be used for a "see, even she found someone though she was a total hoe". Replace "hoe" with "fat" or "ugly" or "hairy" or "psycho" or whatever negatives we women aren't allowed to be, and it would cut down any one of us.

My point was more about the fact that she kept choosing the wrong men and was still legally single at 40. Society tells you that if you're not married/coupled up by a certain age, then it's probably never going to happen. Yet despite her failed relationships (which could have turned her off), she finally got married at 40, which therefore shows that it's a matter of timing and one shouldn't lose hope.

That tape never even crossed my mind until you mentioned it.

 

[candyland_]

Ok I have a sneaky suspicion that the absolute ijeet I went on a date with this weekend actually has a partner. It’s the super super intense and then very very quiet. It’s not fair on anyone.

Any pattern to it?

 

[radoxdetox]

Any pattern to it?

Very very intense and repeatedly told me how much he liked me on date and after, next day he had work, but didn’t message after work and was online, told me he had Instagram but no Facebook, found the Facebook (not a stalker I swear ) pictures of his ex from a year ago, still friends with her but has just updated his profile pic to be just him and he’s still liking her pics up until a few months ago.

The problem is I think the last two dates I’ve had have been similar both odd. Just someone honest would be great.

 

[candyland_]

Very very intense and repeatedly told me how much he liked me on date and after, next day he had work, but didn’t message after work and was online, told me he had Instagram but no Facebook, found the Facebook (not a stalker I swear ) pictures of his ex from a year ago, still friends with her but has just updated his profile pic to be just him and he’s still liking her pics up until a few months ago.

The problem is I think the last two dates I’ve had have been similar both odd. Just someone honest would be great.

I wouldn’t say this was a major alarm bell and I don’t think you have to talk to someone constantly. Sometimes I come home and only have the energy to talk to certain people, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong.

This is the problem when they are full on though because they can’t maintain it.

 

[Pixipoppy]

So the guy I had originally planned to go on a date with tonight finally texted me last night at 10.30pm asking if we were still on for today. I texted back straight away asking what the plan was/what time etc. No reply still, and can see he read the messages last night and was “last seen” at 8am this morning. It’s just common courtesy to let the person you’re taking on a date what the plan is. He lives a good 30 min drive from mine so I need to know how I’m getting there/where we are going etc. Ugh men.

 

[Bagpuss7]

So the guy I had originally planned to go on a date with tonight finally texted me last night at 10.30pm asking if we were still on for today. I texted back straight away asking what the plan was/what time etc. No reply still, and can see he read the messages last night and was “last seen” at 8am this morning. It’s just common courtesy to let the person you’re taking on a date what the plan is. He lives a good 30 min drive from mine so I need to know how I’m getting there/where we are going etc. Ugh men.

I had this in the week and you just know they are going to bail ! Mine did !! The build up to a first date should be exciting,lots of communication etc not a dwindling of calls/ texts !

Mines excuse was ...work had run over so he wouldn't be free til after 8pm...too late on a week night for me to be travelling anywhere for just a drink so I said that ! He apologised blah blah blah...!

He had no intention of meeting is my gut instinct, even though I had said in a previous chat let me know if you change your mind etc. I'm not wasting any more of my time on him, my gut is telling me all is not as it seems and possibly he's not single!!

 

[candyland_]

So the guy I had originally planned to go on a date with tonight finally texted me last night at 10.30pm asking if we were still on for today. I texted back straight away asking what the plan was/what time etc. No reply still, and can see he read the messages last night and was “last seen” at 8am this morning. It’s just common courtesy to let the person you’re taking on a date what the plan is. He lives a good 30 min drive from mine so I need to know how I’m getting there/where we are going etc. Ugh men.

He’s made no effort so it would be a no from me.

 

[radoxdetox]

I wouldn’t say this was a major alarm bell and I don’t think you have to talk to someone constantly. Sometimes I come home and only have the energy to talk to certain people, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong.

This is the problem when they are full on though because they can’t maintain it.

Yes it’s the being incredibly full on and then the opposite that makes me uncomfortable, it’s not normal to me.

 

[candyland_]

Yes it’s the being incredibly full on and then the opposite that makes me uncomfortable, it’s not normal to me.

It’s something I would stop responding to.

 

[radoxdetox]

It’s something I would stop responding to.

He’s deleted and unmatched already

 

[Thank(space)you]

He’s deleted and unmatched already

Yes! Well done you are so much better than f all effort

 

[doodlebug]

Just wanted to quickly say thanks guys for reading my ramblings and for all the opinions/support! Whilst I think it would be nice to see him or say goodbye before he leaves, mentally I’ve drawn a line under it. I think

I think I’m ready to download the apps again (and all the hassle that inevitably comes with that…) I’ve just been putting it off because I need some updated photos!!

 

[BunnyLebowski]

Ok gang, minor excitement in my world.…I went to my local pub last night as I usually do on a Friday. My mate was sitting with an older couple whom I new to say hello to but not well so I joined them. Anyway we had a lovely time talking about art, our work and even politics, and I made them really laugh with my disastrous dating stories.

Then suddenly the man in the couple said ‘I know….Damien….we must set this lovely girl (me) up with Damien!’ They showed me Damien’s photos and he’s just my type. Tall, dark, strong features, Irish…he’s an artist and he likes swimming in the sea (so do I). So anyway, I’m gave them my profile photos to give to this Damien and I‘m waiting to hear from him……or not. But whatever, it’s just a bit of fun in my otherwise dull life.

 

[Thank(space)you]

My friend showed me a lad she thought I might like, but no initial attraction. Plus he fancies her (he's subscribed to her OF) so its a no go from me.

All my friends are busy, child is away for the weekend. I'm bored and skint, all I've done is have a nap today and I feel like I'm wasting my weekend

 

[BunnyLebowski]

My friend showed me a lad she thought I might like, but no initial attraction. Plus he fancies her (he's subscribed to her OF) so its a no go from me.

All my friends are busy, child is away for the weekend. I'm bored and skint, all I've done is have a nap today and I feel like I'm wasting my weekend

I was feeling the same but went for a swim and feel loads better and quite virtuous. Also I have a bottle of rose and chicken wings to consume whilst I watch Strictly.

 

[Clairer86]

I think you’re probably right. I so want to be open to a different type of man but I’m also very cautious. Oh well.


I’ve got BPD too due to some abuse in my childhood. I also wonder if I have ADHD too….it would explain my previous erratic behaviour, which I’m desperately trying to not repeat.

Fellow BPD here too
I am in a relationship, it is safe and secure. duck knows why he puts up with me at times though!
I think you are all absolutely amazing because i couldnt date in todays world. I would get far too obsessed with the biggest cunts, wouldnt give the nice guys a chance, and i would take everything far too personally, and knowing me i would end falling in love with Ted Bundy!
Ohh talking of ADHD, i just found out from a different thread that we have a lot in common and share lots of behaviours, and apparently women are misdiagnosed as having BPD when they really have ADHD. I never knew any of this until a couple of hours ago.
*sorry for going off topic*.
And i dont mean to come across as patronising at all, but i really do think you are all amazing to be dating- it shows how strong you all are because i couldnt do it in todays world. Fear of rejection and abandonment from the apps would duck me up completely.

 

[Boadicea1]

What are people's experience with dating outside of online dating? By that I mean the starting point outside of a website.

I know it happens but if you are someone who has no friends how do you get yourself out there as a potential match?

I am not confident enough to go to a pub by myself, etc, so how do you build relationships with people, form connections, when you are quite isolated from the outside world.

 

[Clickbait]

What are people's experience with dating outside of online dating? By that I mean the starting point outside of a website.

I know it happens but if you are someone who has no friends how do you get yourself out there as a potential match?

I am not confident enough to go to a pub by myself, etc, so how do you build relationships with people, form connections, when you are quite isolated from the outside world.

Can you explain a little more about why you have no friends and are isolated from the outside world? Is this through choice, difficulty in making friends, circumstance, a combination of reasons?