Cleaning with Mario #76 Hello Hello Bailiffs, you called I can’t hear a thing

[Rayne]

Thank you ma lovelies for the tattie hearts.
In honour of youse chosing ma thread title and chanting me oan I made this

Telephone the Remix by Lady Marion featuring Boy Wonder

It’s also what I imagine they would look like if Marion let him learn tae drive, on the run from the bailiffs

 

[G&TGal II]

Not feeling my most eloquent tonight but hopefully you get my drift !
In his latest 'hold to read' verbal shart-fest he mentions "memories" twice. Memories are something we hope are of moments that we can share with others and to quote A.A. Milne "We didn't realise we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun". No ma Quote - blame WTP

Marion seems to think we are all jealous trolls and in true narcissist fashion believes he is right in everything he does - but his nasty side comes out to play too often and he misses the mark continually as he hasn't got the quick dry wit or spontaneous one liners that can make the difference between intelligent observational humour and sheer spiteful venom.

I lost my Mum this year and my younger son 10 years ago. Memories are important and they bring a lot of laughter and joy.
Autumn - we have a big basket of huge natural pine cones and my elder son can tell you pretty much where each one was gathered, autumn walks in forests round Aviemore, west coast whilst away sailing with my Uncle, one from a day trip to the safari park when the rhino almost got amorous with our grey people carrier. No where do we have baskets of plastic seasonal tat stuff down the back of our sofa, much of which may originate from force labour markets in China.

Christmas; each year both my boys chose an ornament for our tree, Disney characters, skis and gondola ornaments from Canadian holiday, ceramic penguins from a trip to the zoo etc. We continue the tradition and each year add another two ornaments, one in memory, and we have such fun and laughter remembering the silly funny stories that go with each ornament each year when we decorate out tree. No balloon arches, meaningless piles of candy cane crap or ding-a-lings for Derek (sorry, Polar Express bells) to be found in the cavity under our beds.

What are Marions memories going to be? 'remember the time I went to B&M' 'remember the time I hung up on the debt collectors' 'remember the time I reframed in TKMaxx' 'remember the time I went to The Range' 'remember the time I shoved a granny cos she pissed me off' 'remember the time that lassie wanted them jars but I grabbed them first' remember the time I, I, I...

The difference in our memories is that the ones I -and I think nearly everyone on here - treasure, are memories of fun moments and happy times shared with others.
Marions memories are likely to be bitter, focused on 'self' and feature a large middle finger to the world as he becomes more bitter and resentful as he goes into his 40's 50's and beyond and nothing changes except for the colour of his Christmas tree, constantly blaming others for his fate.

 

[SuzyE]

Had to do this after he did the coffin one's for us...

 

[Madge2022]

How come every 4/5 weeks he posts this same drivel about finding himself again and how strong he is and how he won’t let anyone control his page again? Blah blah blah.

Who needs to hear this? Who cares?

What an utter twit he is.

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Christ, ah wiz oanly joking aboot Martin getting a pregnancy test for himsel' and noo he's talking aboot his weans.

So insta kin be used fur a diary but not Facebook?

Away and air fry yer heid in yer ninja.

 

[GiftedNotFree]

These screenshots were taken 30 days apart.

22nd July:

22nd August:

What a delusional walloper of a manchild. That’s some bespoke mental illness made to order and so forth ma lovelies!

 

[Whenthelightsturntostars]

The shade in the Mario article.
One of my favourite bits is him claiming to be the first male influencer.


Scotland's male Mrs Hinch has turned his council flat into a cleanfluencer paradise.

On Instagram, Mario McKnight’s home is a grey, white and shiny palace... In real life, it’s exactly the same. I can see most of it when he throws open the front door to welcome me in.


Mario is a cleanfluencer. ... that’s a person who posts pictures of their vacuum cleaner, dish sponges and shiny sink on Instagram.

They might film themselves making the bed or “chopping” their cushions. (All cleanfluencers have chopped cushions – it means they have a dent in the middle, not that they have been cut up into little pieces.)

Mario, with 86,000 followers, is not at Hinch levels of fame. This is his choice.

Mario’s council flat gleams like a...

He fell into online Hoovering by accident and is still nervous about his “journey” in this crazy world of Hello My Lovelies candles and free toilet cleaner.


So on September 6, 2018, his wee brother took a picture of three of his favourite sprays and a folded duster, added #cleaning and off he went.

He added: “When I came on Instagram it was purely meant to be cleaning. But after a couple of weeks, they wanted to see me in front of the camera. They didn’t just want to see cleaning, that was already happening, Mrs Hinch becoming Mrs Hinch. - What does this mean?!?!

“There are a lot of male influencers now, it’s opened a door, it’s not just me any more. It’s lovely to see. It’s cleaning, we all have to do it.”

At first he was spending hours every day replying to the 2000 to 3000 messages generated by each post.

He and Derek have no plans to move out of their council flat, even though it is not the ideal base for a cleanfluencer. It’s so small that it does not take much actual cleaning.

There is so little cupboard space that he has to store the vacuum cleaner in the living room and has a cupboard of shame, that never appears in photographs, hidden in the bedroom.

“People think I get hundreds of gifts but I turn down 90 per cent. I’m offered so many wonderful things but they don’t fit. We’re a one-bedroom flat.

 

[Popper]

Those horrific jars look like an arsehole squeezing out a shit. Shartin with Martin indeed

 

[GiftedNotFree]

Nah he is fully beyond a joke now. Like I can’t actually believe he’s bought MORE pumpkins?????! What’s wrong with him? It’s not normal! Here’s all the pumpkin shite he bought last year:

And yet he’s got more again this year!? What a sad, sorry, pathetic excuse for a life.

The props department at Disney have less fucking pumpkin tat than him! oh and remember ma lovelies, he does nane of this for the gram! so aye and so forth.

 

[lauhlauhlauh]

Going to arrange some autumn leaves in the shape of a boaby and tag him.

 

[Bianca Del Rio]

I was just thinking then.. do you think Martian would love summer if he had a back door.. and a washing line.. like I bet he would be like aw Av done all this cunt washing I’m on my 20th load of the day look at it blowing in the breeze

That’s exactly it. He hates Summer because absolutely nothing about his life lends itself to the Summer months.

Outdoor space.
Front and back door.
Holidays.
Friends.
Plans.
Open windows.

As he lives his life through that app, every day throughout summer his newsfeed will be flooded with people enjoying their gardens, going out for drinks with friends, going on holiday, having BBQs, hanging cunt washings on the line, etc. etc. Summer holds a mirror up to everything he doesn’t have.

 

[twilightgarden]

Such BS Maria! How is a small, 1 bed flat in a rough area a “dream home” for an adult with 2 kids and a dog?! Think she got confused and meant to message Johnny instead so aye

 

[menopausalmargrit]

Well ma lovelies, hametime fae holiday today but ahm off tae London fae a long weekend in September tae see ABBA voyage, New York in December fur 6 nights and just booked two weeks in the Caribbean fur August next year #needed

This isnae what we dae yearly but we saved a lot during COVID coz there was no where to go and didnae buy hunners of autumn and Christmas decorations. It took aw oor effort to even bother putting a tree up last year!

Anyway, enough of ma wealth coz a know youse will aw be choking!!

*writes on black tombstone in chalk pen* Tonsalove,
M

 

[Madge2022]

Love the new title @Rayne
I'm sat in the hair salon clutching my beak reading these posts

Ur ye getting some bespoke highlights at the front. If so, ask fur a Mario ma loverlie

 

[menopausalmargrit]

I can’t wait to see what officers club outfit he wears with his Timberlands this weekend. Probably a scarf and coat since it’s the temperature has to drop to 21 degrees!!!!

 

[Johnnoijones]

An almost 40yr old man still thinking him and his gay partner will be parents?! Surely that process should have been in motion long before now?! Where exactly will this child sleep since you have no plans to move? Better yourself? He really hasn’t got a clue. Bellend

I hate to tell you but I am 37 and my husband is 41 and we have adopted at the start of the year, age is no longer a barrier. Being an arsehole and have an narcissistic personality is probably one. So is living in a bedsit.

 

[Eeyore147]

I’m still laughing at the New York at Christmas. They could easily afford that if he didn’t waste all his petty cash on shite! 2 middle age guys with no commitments should be traveling, but nooooo not our Mario. Need to be home in Beiruit all warm and cozy by tea time.

 

[ScottishMammy92]

Does anyone else catch themselves nearly hitting out with a "nae debates" or a "no ma quote" in actual conversation? Or am I just losing the place entirely

 

[thatsnotstrictlytrue]

Am I the only one who shuts the blinds early and have barely any lights on, on halloween night so the wee fuckers dinnae bang my front door miserable auld hag that I am, my rules in my hoose so aye

 

[DramaQueen79]

just gonna leave this here… it’s safe to say I now know where Martin gets his class from

 

[Lim1947]

I passed a work colleague today, he's well over 6ft big bloke etc humming away to Eminem and out pops "sing it hen" from my mouth. It actually stopped us both in out tracks