Cleaning With Mario #6 and so forth

[Be More Pacific]

Purple Rayn

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

Melv is harshing my buzz. The funky gibbon doesn't work for silent pictorial stories.

Instead I am invoking the legendary David Attenborough's dulcet tones and applying my own narrative.

The lesser spotted Melvin is indeed a rare species found only in a small territory in the west coast of Scotland. Notoriously often of poor general health, this unremarkable creature retreats to its hole whenever possible venturing out only when work and foraging for food and tat is strictly necessary. Parasitic in nature, the Melvin places a huge strain on local economies, environment and mating partner and unlike other rare species, nobody is particularly interested in conservation protections.

Identifiable by its uniquely hexagonal shaped head, sparsely covered in hair, it should always be approached with caution when outside of its safe place. Easily spooked and given to dramatics, it will lash out at perceived danger by breaking out its natural defences which include, but are not limited too, wild finger gesticulations, head wobbling and furious lip synching. It avidly avoids foods of nutritional value preferring instead anything beige or salt n vinegar flavoured and is wildly attracted to strong perfumed or chemical scents and anything shiny. Should you happen upon the Melvin unexpectedly and walking away in the opposite direction is untenable, it is recommended that you feign admiration, ask it nicely for a selfie or give it something (anything really) for free before slowly but determinedly backing away.

A more concentrated study of this creature was considered before being rejected as not remotely interesting enough.

and so forth.

 

[Caramel Swirl]

Let’s play a game of Spot the Arsehole
I see two

 

[irishbelle Thnak]

Raayn tomorrow, will have a field day with his new scratcher

 

[TheNiceBeardMan]

Ded.

 

[BlockedbyMario]

Hello my lovelies....I’ve just joined tattle life right now. I was following cleaning by MARIO. I’m the guy who genuinely asked about the bathroom cabinet for my living room...and now MARIO has just gone and deleted my comment

 

[Nellyellie]

Manky Melv and dirty Dezza valentine edition

 

[Sailor87]

This has to have been someone on here

 

[onbd3104]

I am DYING at the big reveal. Those couches are absolutely barkin a gammon. Honkin. And what colour are they, what a state.

Oor St. Melv really changed Danielles life, her ‘wee world’ in fact! People are still going to this very day, making the same jurneh oor Melv did. A pilgrimage in fact, to the holy grail of Plush grey tat.

‘so many eh yeez huv bin textin me’ who has? NOBODY. Maybe his Dad to see if hes planning on ever visiting again?!

 

[DilysMcGillis]

He's gonna be PURE RAGIN' at these bastards later View attachment 87030

Regargalling ma lamp, ma lovelies, in this new dayn of dawn ah’m unindated wi’ messages aboot it bein’ pink. Ma ootbox is burstin’ wi’ them but, as yiz all know, ah‘ve said it many, many months ago, Derek deals wi’ aw that. Ah’m tae bizzy wurkin’ bliddy hard fur ma money, as yiz all know, ah wurk fahl time, and so forth. Ah‘ve no’ got much tae tell yiz, ma lovelies, but it’s grey, it’s no’ pink, right? It’s grey, right.....Ah’m fine, ah’m absolutely fine. It’s grey. So, aye.

I actually can’t wait for a passive aggressive rant about the pink lamp I do love him, but really wish that someone would address the whole:
Inbox - messages people send in
Outbox - messages he sends out
debacle that he somehow just can’t seem to grasp. The clue’s in the name, Mario. So, aye.

 

[TheNiceBeardMan]

Bespoke cushions absolutely crying

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

I go for a peaceful relaxing bath and I come back to see that the big reveal has happened. Words actually fail me lads. It is even tackier and shittier than we "throught!"
Me and my "who circle" are just sat here pissing ourselves at just how awful it is

 

[Be More Pacific]

Is it too soon to do my Purple Rayn joke again?

 

[Johnnoijones]

I could not help myself

 

[ayeayecaptain]

What kind if idiots are these people?

Total stranger spills guts to another total stranger who really doesn’t care and replies with big standard one line reply. Another total stranger but not insta ‘famous’ also replies with some kinder words but initially gets a cheeky reply!

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Another one jumping on the band wagon .

Oh SisterPledge & Melvin babes! I am not culpable for any of this
Reason1: I gossip over here on TattleLife. You don't have to come here and read, you choose to.
Reason 2: Me calling you or any influencer out is not trolling. It is opening up a dialogue about how influencers fleece people, often vulnerable people who don't have the money to spend but will, because they want to be like you.
Reason 3: CF was about to go on trial for domestic violence. I have no opinion on whether she did it or not, as a person whose 1st marriage was filled with DV I would have liked to see a jury decide on the evidence.
Reason 4: Fuck off you rubbish bellends. You are in it for the freebies. How dare you make another families tragedy about you? You are disgusting scumcunts!

 

[lauramars]

I think Mario is the type to catch you looking at him in the store he works and come rushing over to you saying “aye your right it is me mario”

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

"It's MY bespoke new sofa Derek! Youse can sit here!

 

[Johnnoijones]

Maybe Melv will treat Derek to a bespoke hand job

 

[Badaboom]

Credit must go to @Be More Pacific new thread title has to be:
Cleaning with Mario #7 Purple Rayn