As someone who went through an emotionally abusive relationship - and I’m not saying this is, like I’ve said previously, there’s so many things that remind me of what I went through - Carrie is not going to see what everyone else sees.
You end up in this bubble. You’re so excited and truly believe you’re in love and would do anything for them. This is because the abuser is manipulating you and you can’t see it, they convince you that they know best and you slowly turn against others who doubt what you have because “they don’t understand”.
Some people don’t notice what’s going on because you spend all of your time with the abuser. They convince you that they need you and that you’re the only one who understands. Slowly you realise you haven’t seen your friends in a while and you think they don’t care about you but the abuser comforts you and you become totally reliant on them.
Your family may say things to you but they don’t get it, they’re not you and they don’t realise how special the relationship is. You start to not cope well without the abuser, but they then pull away from you. You constantly blame yourself for everything, you question yourself and think negatively about people you were once close to. Then they’re back and act like you’re silly for thinking things. You have to tell them everything that’s on your mind, all the time, you can’t have any secrets or thoughts to yourself. You are constantly on edge and are nearly at breaking point all of the time. You walk on egg shells but it’s all worth it because they need you and you are convinced you love them.
I’m not sure how others get out of it, but I did because I met a new friend who made
me laugh and made me realise that I hadn’t laughed in a really long time. I realised that how I interacted with this new friend was how it was supposed to be, and that the situation I was in was very wrong. My abuser worked out that I shone when I was around this new friend and he turned nasty. He tried to turn this new friend against me and told me how worthless I was. He then walked away from me. I was devastated, didn’t even know who I was anymore, I felt empty and lonely. Luckily my new friend had their own mind and stayed friends with me despite what my abuser said to them.
It was only afterwards that I looked at photographs and could see how dead behind the eyes I was, how things he said to me weren’t right, how his actions weren’t right. It still affects me now and this was over 15 years ago. I still question things and have depressive moments that stem from this time I my life.
Carrie won’t listen right now, I think it will just have to run it’s course. If it is an emotional abusive relationship then she will have people who will look after her at the end, your true friends and family will always be there at the end of it all.
Or we’ll just have to deal with the tactless, narcissistic, wet lettuce forever and find a way of coping with it!