Bryony Farmer #2 A baby is for life, not just before/after Christmas

[Kendopixie]

As an aside, is anyone else super uncomfortable with the way she uses the word 'bad' to describe Oryn waking up multiple times a night? That's sort of what babies do after all, he's in a new place, of course he's going to be unsettled.

 

[sunniva]

She has spent her whole life wanting to be a frumpy mummy blogger. She has twisted arms, pulled strings and spent a fortune to get there at the age of 26 and is now re-narrativising it as if she followed a typical timeline and is a normal, relatable mum.

Also even her use of the word ‘mini skirt’… which to me evokes a wild, glamorous pre baby life that she blatantly didn’t have. It’s just a normal denim skirt probably from Next or Debenhams 🥲. She has always dressed like a middle aged woman, even as a teenager!

She has these kind of little ‘refrains’ doesn’t she, that are just mimicked parts of the specific social fabric she wants to be part of - ‘’so pleased to fit into my pre-baby clothes’’, ‘’I’m just a tired mum with a messy house’’, ‘’normalise mental health issues’’, ‘’stick them in front of CBeebies’’. It’s almost like small talk because it seems so empty and completely detached from her actual life - and clearly for an audience. That’s what i find so unsettling. It’s like an uncanny valley effect.

 

[gisellejoly]

I actually cannot get over this?! "A single parent is someone who is single by circumstance" Yea, Bryony. You're a single parent by circumstance!!!! Circumstances being, noone wanted to fuck you and you were rich enough to pay to be artificially impregnated?!!

Where the fuck does she get this stuff from?! I cannot!!

She shouldn't be so judgmental. I wonder if she has any idea how she is perceived by society as a mother?
She thinks she doesn't fit in with single mums, but she doesn't fit into the typical mold of the solo mum by choice community whatsoever either - most of those women are hovering around 40, have had failed relationships or have put their careers first, are independent and successful, and this is their last chance to have a baby.
To outsiders, Bryony is very young, she doesn't have any semblance of a career, relies on her parents support a LOT. In my view, it was irresponsible of her to get pregnant. She's no different to girls I knew who got pregnant in their early 20s, although Bryony considers herself to be in a different social class and therefore better than those women.
Most people she encounters in life will assume she is just a regular young single mum just like the women she looks down on.

 

[Kendopixie]

As I have now said many, many, MANY times: did she not know that breastfeeding can be painful? That her uterus cramps as it shrinks? Fucking hell, I have never been pregnant, none of my close friends or family members have been pregnant since I was a little kid, but even I knew this.

 

[Soapy]

I'm so glad Bryony is getting a holiday, solo parenting by choice whilst simultaneously co-parenting with your elderly parents must be exhausting for the poor girl

 

[08nancy]

I get the feeling that her parents (or at least her mum) might have Munchausens by proxy. I don’t see why else she would be indulging her to this degree.

On another note I do wish she would give up this “solo mother by choice” shtick. It’s so pretentious. Bryony, you might not like to face this reality and think you are above this label but you are a SINGLE MUM.

Plenty of single mums Bryony might deem below her are solo mothers by choice just like her: Women who chose to leave their partners/husbands, mothers who chose to flee from abuse, mothers who chose to have their baby despite the father not wanting to be involved. They all made the choice to do motherhood alone. You’re not any better than a single mum no matter what label you give yourself.

You have no idea how hard I agree with this. It makes me feel a little bit icky actually. Like these "single mothers by choice" in some way are looking down on just "normal single mums". Actually the idea that a single mum is single "not by choice" is actually quite misogynistic. Like suggesting that the man has made the decision for the mum to be single gives me the absolute ick. Absolutely nothing to be ashamed of for ending a relationship and as you say THEY ARE ALSO SINGLE BY CHOICE. Be a single mum Bryony. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

 

[sunniva]

She hasn’t said she’s off social media, she’s just citing the YouTube channel as her job to claim maternity allowance and therefore won’t be actively ‘’working on it’’. Which I’m not actually convinced is legal… especially if she has prerecorded videos scheduled? The channel will be active, she will be receiving income from older videos and new ones? How is that in any way equivalent to a normal mat allowance where a person would stop receiving their regular income?

The same with her business. She won’t be ‘’paying herself’’ but the business is running as normal and the money will still come in. She’s just sequestering it somewhere else while she gets government money, and will get it all back in a big chunk in 6 months time.

Either way she won’t be off socials. I reckon she’ll go hard with posting on Instagram. She may even record a backlog of newborn vlogs to go out when her ‘maternity leave’ is over. Which again is very sketchy IMO. She’s essentially working right through it and receiving income the whole time, just at a slightly offset timeline. She’s vile.

As for the baby’s privacy, he won’t have any I suspect. I know she mentioned the idea of privacy but she kept it suspiciously open ended lol. She knows full well what her plan is but wants to come across as reflective and well meaning.

She will say anything to justify what she personally wants and has very few strong principles. I reckon she wants to be a mummy vlogger significantly more than she cares about her son’s wellbeing, so we’ll get a long speil about honouring his digital footprint and right to see his childhood reflected online. She did the same for the foster kids before SS stepped in.

 

[x_bethanyy]

Bryony Farmer #3 CAN YOU NOT DUmp your child on the floor pleeeeeeaasee

 

[Mooncalf]

I still remember the trainwreck that was her first foster child so clearly - he was about five and she overshared so much online about him, complained that she couldn't get him into daycare because she didn't want to deal with him during the day, then she started posting videos saying she couldn't stand to be around him or something like that, someone was concerned, reported it and he was taken off her and she said she had to have a break from fostering and hinted at having to do additional training or something.

I remember her desperately trying to get around all the restrictions and trying to 'vlog' with him by not showing him and using a fake name - when she decided to get pregnant I was convinced she did it just to be able to overshare without anyone telling her what she can and can't post.

 

[x_bethanyy]

Bryony you still have to be a parent when you feel 'under the weather'. Even more so since you're a 'solo mother', although I've yet to see you do anything solo ever. Suck it up and put your son first.

 

[smoothie]

She was ranting about sticking them in front of the TV, about their terrible behaviour, and about how they better keep them in nursery longer otherwise she didn't want them etc. She wasn't anyone's mummy, she was a temporary carer paid to do something she passed on to her own mum. And she was a terrible one at that, it's why I initially stopped watching.

I'm sure many of you have heard/watched/read the same words from others before. She's not fooling anyone with her bullshit make-believe rip off stories. She reminds me of Jonathan Joley with the preachy expert tone she tries to use. So cringey

 

[smoothie]

Married heterosexual couples and lesbians have children with donor sperm or eggs too. I welcome their input and personally don't want to judge nor exclude anyone from the conversation.

My dislike is specifically with all her issues and everything about her personality, and the fact she's trying to be an influencer and profit off her dysfunction.

 

[sunniva]

Makes me so uncomfortable seeing that poor baby’s skinny limbs and this is after he’s been gaining wait for a month? I’m just not buying it. Something is seriously fishy.

On a lighter note, I am living for the fact she quickly abandoned all the ~crunchy mama~ alternatives she spent her entire teenage years obsessing over. Wasn’t the whole reason she wanted a baby for the ‘baby wearing’ slings and cloth nappies? All vanished as quickly as the attachment parenting did with her first foster kid.

Pretty sure she wouldn’t approve of the age based weaning snacks in 2013 either Next she’ll be throwing out her amber teething jewellery. Hope she feels well and truly humbled.

 

[smoothie]

I think she's misunderstood the term or idea of people supporting your choice to become a parent. They mean they emotionally won't disagree with your choice and may be happy for you, they don't want to change nappies, feed you and cook for you, do your shopping, your laundry and clean your fucking bathroom. FFS. What an absolutely self indulgent moron. She truly seems to believe that people are there to serve her simply for being artificially inseminated. Everything she's listed is something your partner would do. She wants all the benefits of a partner without any of the effort on her part.

I'd be horrified if someone suggested taking my 7 week old breastfed baby for 2 hours. Terrible idea, no wonder she had breastfeeding issues. Asking them to take a 3 month old for 4 hours at a time exemplifies her lack of attachment. The fact she's telling childfree people to learn about practical childcare and come over to learn your schedule in order to help her is delusional and downright cheeky. She's such a self indulgent teenager who thinks the world resolves around her

She'll have another when he turns 2 purely so she can claim benefits.

 

[GuiltySnarker]

WTAF was that story just now. Basically 'here's a horrific story about a child who nearly starved before going into foster care, so don't worry if you feed your baby fruit pouches'. The trauma that child and their sibling endured is not an anecdote she can pull out to justify her weaning choices. It made me feel a bit ill.

 

[Milliemilmil]

I have to say that watching her attitude towards foster children and then her wishes to kill the baby once it was born, or hoping it had died inside the womb has given me very little hope for her as a mother. I completely understand that people suffer mental health issues in pregnancy but she has no maternal love and care towards children, I don’t see this going well unfortunately

 

[Kikifluffypolarbear]

The way she's listing it all out like that makes it sound loads but actually most of those tasks aren't very time consuming. Queen of making a mountain out of a molehill honestly... Also is this not a lifestyle she very much actively CHOSE? She can talk disdainfully about spouses/partners all she likes but clearly her parents are fulfilling that role.

 

[sunniva]

Also completely forgot to mention how she talked about the final incident / his dramatic weight loss. She had been advised multiple times to continue pumping at night and in the day to keep her supply high, and said he was gaining weight consistently that way. The health visitor (the individual she had demanded to have additional appointments with) had confirmed O was doing well and left them both unmonitored for a few weeks. Then at 14 weeks, Bryony started the pill again which she claims reduced her supply, and that's when his weight dropped. But also admits she was no longer pumping because she was busy dealing with his sleep regression. So she admits actively stopping the thing which had successfully stabilised his weigh, muddles the story by saying it was due to the pill, and also somehow his sudden onset allergy?

The story is just not straight, and in the midst of these jumbled explanations for his weight loss, she completely brushes over the fact she stopped pumping which is the one thing all of the professionals had repeatedly told her to do. She says ''I guess we'll never know what happened''. She knew full well.

 

[Kendopixie]

It's super weird how she never talks about what she wants for the baby, only all the things she doesn't want (doesn't want it near Christmas, on Valentines, etc (or as Briney Solution would say "ex echra")), but further to it being odd, it's sort of downright illogical.
You didn't want a Christmas/Valentine's baby, I mean fair enough I suppose but you could basically choose when you got pregnant, did no part of her childish, "I want a baby NOW" brain stop and think "hey Tuna in Brine, pregnancies are 9 months long, maybe we shouldn't pay extortionate amounts to get pregnant in May and should wait a bit to get pregnant later so we don't have to worry about having the baby in winter."
I apologise if she gave an actual reason for this but it seems very poor planning to me. She just seems so unprepared for the whole thing and also can't tolerate any kind of discomfort whatsoever. Pregnancy is absolutely not a walk in the park, but the way she complains it seems like she somehow didn't know anything about it, not even via social osmosis.

 

[Lurker1234]

Noticed she's started swearing a lot.. it was jolting in the hannah collab and now doing it in her last video.. feels very tryhard

Also incidentally, when she was saying how she is "Ace as f*ck", she went on to describe how she's in the grey are of it because she is attracted to people, just not often....so absolutely not Ace as f*ck then, she had probably just decided ahead of time it was a cool phrase to use and went with it, despite it not actually being the case