Bryony Farmer #2 A baby is for life, not just before/after Christmas

[gisellejoly]

While we’re on the topic of not shaming women about having elective c-sections, let’s not shame women for being virgins and having given birth, especially when they identify as asexual.

Also, doubting someone’s asexuality just because they say that they’ve been interested in men before totally misses what asexuality is. There’s a difference between being asexual and aromantic.

tbh we can doubt her asexuality all we want lol. at the end of the day this is a gossip site, its literal purpose is for us to speculate about things influencers put into the public domain.
bryony doesn't even identify as fully asexual, she mentions frequently that she's open to a relationship in the future. She calls herself 'graysexual' which basically means she's straight but only occasionally sees men she's sexually/romantically attracted to. She also uses this 'identity' to lump herself into the lgbt community as if only being horny sometimes is an axis of oppression As someone who is actually in a same sex relationship I find this laughable and offensive.
Like most of Bryony's many ailments and identities, graysexual is just another one she's taken on to feel special and different, probably compounded by the fact she is emotionally stunted and has no social life and thus has never even met a potential sexual/romantic partner.

 

[Prinnywoo]

Her whole spiel about “men get asked what their hobbies are, women get asked what their guilty pleasures are” is a perfect example of how all her world understanding comes from being online, not normal interactions with real people. People asking what you do in your spare time is such common small talk, I never get asked about my “guilty pleasures” and when it does come up it’s referring to things like trashy reality TV, not just any hobbies.

 

[Emlou34]

On leave from what exactly? Occasionally filming herself complaining

 

[smoothie]

Only started the 9 month vlog and already its bad. She's moaning about herself, 5 minutes of whinging about a stuffy nose

Next she reports he still sleeps 15 hours, from 6pm to 9.30am. Then say's "don't be fooled, he didn't sleep through the night", he woke after 5, 6, 7am and "grizzled". Bryony, insufferable idiot, he's trying to wake up because he's had almost 12 hours sleep. Being selfish and trying to force him to sleep for 3-4 more hours so you can be a lazy fuck in your greasy pit is not OK. Ignoring him to where he's given up and only whimpers for hours because he knows you won't interact with him and you're neglectful, is shameful. Get your ass out of bed and greet your baby with a smile and warm interaction.

Every time that poor child wants to interact with her and is "grizzly" she denies interaction by putting him to sleep. She has no knowledge or maternal instincts. Many infants don't play alone, they're not happy to be shoved on a cold floor alone whilst mum ignores them and has "me time". Playtime for a baby is focused on social interaction fuckwit. So he "grizzles" alone and she decides it means he's tired even though he's recently woken up and is understimulated.

She reports him 'sleeping' a combined total of up to 19 hours a day. That's not healthy for a baby outwith the newborn phase. Every time he exhibits attachment seeking behaviours to interact, eat and develop, she isolates him and leaves him to "grizzle" to sleep.

What in the disturbing middle class subtle neglect is going on here.
---
She thinks he's a doll that was her 'in' to finding a social group and an income I'm sure he'll love to look back on these intrusive videos of her complaining about him for 24 hours straight.

 

[thegoodnaysayer]

Also. In her baby name video "I'm not a practising Christian but I do have Christain heritage" made me LOL. That is not a thing, Bryony. That's just being a white woman Also, suppose all that shit about her wrapping her hair to be closer to God or whatever the fuck was bollocks then (not that I'm surprised ofc)

 

[Soapy]

In fairness she doesn't exactly work, she sits on her arse all day while her parents wait on her hand and foot. I haven't regularly watched her videos in a long time but from what I can make out her business is run by other people and she just takes the money.

Very true I remember back in the olden days of Bryony, when she couldn't respond to work emails because her period was due to arrive. Always been a shirker of anything vaguely resembling 'work', hard or not!

 

[Kendopixie]

Her reviewing those toys sounds so much like me pretending to do a youtube makeup collection when I was 13 years old, I mean it's unboxing a toy collection so I wasn't expecting Shakespeare but man there was just nothing interesting to say about any of them? It's like she just has surface level thoughts on everything.
Further to that video, her going "kids love to play with balls. *beat* ha ha." Was so weird. The laugh sounded so false, maybe to give off some kind of "look guys, I have adult humour and laugh at smutty double entendre!" impression, but also I can't be the only one to think that no one with even mildly smutty humour would laugh at that? I mean if an adult said "oh I love playing with balls" then sure I'd laugh, but given that it's about a kid it's just weird to make it smutty to me.
Maybe I'm reading too much into that, but what I'm not reading into too much is the fact that she's so impressed with these boxes and the "quality" because Oryn is still playing with toys that are about 6 months old. These boxes are £80, I should bloody expect them to last 6 months! I have hair ties older than that for goodness sake!

 

[Prinnywoo]

I have no words for this. Literally speechless.

She’s very fortunate that she has mummy and daddy who can throw money at her and the child they bought for her. She’s just so out of touch with reality it’s unreal.

I’m sure everyone would love to be able to just work park time in order to spend more time with their children but we’re not all lucky to be surviving on hand outs from mummy and daddy.

I am a big believer in state financial support and welfare programmes, and think there should always be a safety net there that people shouldn’t be judged for using. But Bryony claiming tax payer money whilst living in a flat her parents bought, with her baby her parents bought, whilst going on multiple holidays abroad a year (that her parents pay for) when I see people around me struggling is absolutely infuriating. If Bryony wanted a baby so badly for so long perhaps she should have planned financially for it and just gone on 1 holiday a year, putting the money for the other 4 trips into savings for her ‘maternity leave’

 

[JustHereForTheAgriculture]

So after months of ‘woe is me, I’m pregnant’, now it’s ‘woe is me, I’m no longer pregnant’
Fucking hell Whyony. There’s always something to moan about.

 

[x_bethanyy]

Everyone's already made very good points and I agree with them all, so I'm going to be totally superficial... She only films once a week you'd think she could wash her hair for the occasion.

 

[sunniva]

I don’t have kids yet but I follow a handful of parenting influencers and Bryony’s newest video is mostly verbatim of Instagram infographic advice I’ve seen knocking around. Like ‘’don’t show up unannounced’’ ‘’let the mum hold the baby, practical help is best’’ etc etc. I think it’s well intentioned and I keep it in mind when meeting up with friends with babies. I’m ofc not cleaning anyone’s bathroom lol but the main sentiment is take initiative to help and be mindful of not creating more stress/burden. Bryony claimed it as her original content, somehow missed the core sentiment and took it in an absurd direction because she is so painfully out of touch.

The awkward truth for her is that she didn’t actually have any friends before Oryn was conceived. I recall her spending time with other foster carers a few years ago but I’d be surprised if they were still in touch. I just find it strange this whole video is framed as if it’s from lived experience of long term friendships changing eg. ‘friend groups being split’ when babies are born. What? She is on record multiple times between the ages of 15-25 saying she doesn’t have close friends and doesn’t stay in touch with girls from dance/school unless her mother arranges it. I remember vividly that she didn’t invite any guests to the gender reveal infanticide meltdown party, so her mum invited them for her as a surprise. Are we supposed to believe these people were cleaning her bathroom or taking her baby out for the day? Is she doing that for anyone? I feel quite sorry for her in a way. She seems very smug with her new found smbc friendships and I hope they last, but she’s frankly not being honest about her actual life here, and she’s regurgitated online discourse like it’s her own lived experience once again.

She is sneaky with language when she’s mimicking instagram posts because she never outright claims it’s her own experience, just insinuates it is. For example ‘’often we find our friendships break down’’ or ‘’new parents may find it hard to go out to bars or restaurants’. It gives her a really unsettling tone of authority on experiences that are blatantly irrelevant to her life. This video is such a good example.

 

[GuiltySnarker]

I really need to stop watching that last video was a mess. I was also waiting for her to acknowledge how privileged her setup is and how atypical that much help is, but nope! It's great that she doesn't feel the pressure to be a perfect parent, but 'as long as i'm doing better than abusive parents who have their children removed from them' should not be her bar for success...

She said the tiredness has been fine because she had a chronic illness so knows how to deal with it - didn't she leave a holiday with friends a day early because her baby stopped sleeping through the no night there?!

I also disliked how much she emphasised that the bond with her baby was about him being biologically hers. It's fine to want biological children but I'm sure foster and adoptive parents can also be fiercely protective of their children.

 

[x_bethanyy]

Hopefully she'll thank the donor on fathers day, if she has to say anything at all.

I mean she didn't even mention her own mum on mother's day, despite the fact that she's living in their house, eating their food and using them as free babysitters and chauffeurs.

 

[Purplecardigan]

As a midwife I call she definitely had an elective c-section. Very unlikely to have a first baby at 39+1 weeks pregnant and that’s the exact day planned c-sections tend to get booked. Also she is wearing a theatre gown in the photo. She would only be wearing that if she went to theatre for surgery.

 

[Withwhat]

What an interesting insight into her mind.
She really wants the whole world to praise her for emptying her own dishwasher.

 

[Kikifluffypolarbear]

I'm sorry but I can't get over the whole virgin (probably) birth thing, it's like one of those real life stories you read about it in magazines like chat or take a break

 

[08nancy]

I think the whole thing is weird honestly. I don't know what to say. I get major vibes that Bryony is in some way neurodiverse so don't want to judge her too harshly. But she's weird about the baby. It's like it's all about her. "I need a break", "I get out touched", "I don't get a break". You chose to have this baby. I don't understand how she can act like some massive 'experienced mother' whose had all these fosterlings and knows everything about motherhood but can't cope with a baby. Behaving like a baby.
I'm also beyond unhappy that she shared what she shared about planning to murder her baby. I don't understand how you can say that and seemingly gloss over it to posting endless videos of you breast feeding on the internet. I'm not saying I want her to feel ashamed for her mental health but I think she needs to be focussing on recovering and personally addressing that that was a terrible thing to have happened.
I don't know. I'm all for mother's being honest about their experiences and not sugar coating everything but maybe I worry that all she says about this poor boy is negativity and my instinct is that if that's what she's saying on a public Instagram then she's being negative about him in real life as well? Like even if she's meeting his physical needs, he deserves to be loved and I don't want him to feel like he's made his mum feel unhappy or depressed or whatever.
I thought the baby name thing was weird too. She's so obsessed with a baby name not being "common".
I'm also not convinced it's normal to give a baby a name in your head that isn't their name? Honestly I completely agree with other commentators, what Bryony treats children like is how you'd treat a doll.
It would probably have been healthier and cheaper for everyone involved for her just to get a doll. I honestly really worry for both her son and her being a foster carer and her 'caring' for the most vulnerable children that we have.

 

[smoothie]

That reeks of resentful bitch. I hope she isn't attempting to jump on the trend of insulting your kids online, it's gross. Anything publicly negative is concerning after her infanticide plans.

It's normal to have a little moan sometimes to friends who get it, but she lives with her parents who do everything for her. She has no idea what hard is. She has a public profile, imagine pretending to care about your child's privacy and then saying nothing but negative things about them to thousands of people

It's especially sad for the people who followed her and are still going through fertility treatment or have lost a baby, when she has hers and has attempted to normalise planning his death, putting herself first and complained about him.

 

[x_bethanyy]

Dedicating an International Women's Day post to yourself OK Bryony.

 

[sunniva]

I can’t follow her anymore. I’m out. It’s been cathartic to call her out and have a laugh. But the horror that she has somebody’s whole life in her hands has just hit me. I’ll check this thread occasionally and I wish her well, but I just can’t be provoked like this when it hits so close to home.