I know I've been posting a lot today, but I'm sorry...I had to.
It's just absolutely perfect that Katie thinks she has OWNED Tattle by posting these "Look where I was" stories on IG, all designed to make us jealous, when in reality, all it's done is give us more ammo...
-Spencer is a part-time temp who points to spots on the floor and counts backwards from five. That's what he does. That's it. If he did more, Katie would have posted it. But that's it.
-Spencer's outfit for the event made him look like he was going to the clinic for a stress test that his cardiologist recommended for "men his age".
-Katie wears the same dandruff-covered black top and exhausted black leggings that she wears literally every other day of her life.
-Katie waddles in between D-listers and shows off that five-day-old, soot-covered icicle hanging from her top row of teeth.
-She's joined by Max Headroom's grandson, who is apparently some other Disney vlogger that I won't watch.
-Katie posts a ransom note on her IG stories, thanking everyone who works at the show for, I don't know, doing their work or something.
I mean, listen, Moby Chick, I know you thought you were really accomplishing something with this diarrhea of the thumbs you've been posting for the past 16 hours. But it hasn't made anyone jealous. It hasn't made any of us wish we were you. All it's done is make us feel bad for the Orpheum janitorial crew, who undoubtedly will have to don hazmat suits while they fumigate whatever poor seat you wedged yourself into. It takes a while to vacuum up Cheeto-dust, and it takes FOREVER to Febreeze the farts out of that remnant of a chair where you crammed your caboose.
