Ashley James

[AllAboutTheMayhem]

I feel shes trying ( and failing) to connect a number of subjects, breastfeeding, breasts, sexualisation of women, patriarchal society, the extremist views of some cultures and religions, and of course, she somehow makes all of these about herself and her personal experiences.

I’m not sure she even knows what she’s trying to say most of the time, her thoughts and delivery of them just seem so chaotic, and full of venom/instability.

The bottom line is that her behaviour is quite simply, attention seeking , designed to cause reaction and that’s where it goes wrong.

As it happens, I only popped on to say that I replied to her saying that I breastfed for nearly 3 years, never had any issue, no drama, no perverts, but suspect this was likely due to the fact that I just got on with it and didn’t feel the need to film / photograph myself every hour. Anyway long story short. I’m blocked.

 

[Smellis]

Thread suggestion:
Parental warnings I pay no heed, did you know I exclusively breastfeed?

 

[Gossipgurlll5]

Her recent story about her boobs, I honestly don’t get her at all. No one, I repeat, NO ONE gives a shit about your boobs Ashley. You are the one choosing to post them knowing you have creeps following you. Make a private story to share Alf and your breastfeeding journey on where you can control and sensor who sees this content if you don’t like the result but YOU are the one posting your boobs now, because in your own words you like how they look today. That is fine but you are posting that for validation on Instagram. If you go looking for that kind of validation and praise, there’s likely going to be other comments thrown in there too, it’s not ideal but it’s reality. Society doesn’t place shame on breastfeeding, if you’re feeling shamed then maybe look at your own intentions? No one wants your baby to go hungry, yes you absolutely should feed him in the way that suits you and him best. But the constant ‘look at me breastfeeding’ stuff is what irks people. It’s something a lot of mothers do and they manage not to make it sexual and not to make such a show of it. I can safely say I’ve probably walked past breastfeeding mothers in public and not actually noticed what they’re doing, but Ashley has to sit and video every part of it and make an argument out of nothing? Why? If she were bottle feeding or he was completely weaned would she video every second of his mealtimes? Not being horrible but as long as he’s fed and happy no one really cares??

 

[Blahblah93]

Maternity leave isn't a "perk of the job" it's a fucking human rights obligation in order for woman to maintain some form of equal rights compared to men. What a fucking a twat.

And also she quotes that in shops you get free stuff to make up for long hours and shit pay and that we should have that same mindset with the free shit she gets. Influencers are not on shit pay, especially with a following of her size.

Eurgh fuck sake man.

 

[RunDMC]

Who is it that Ashley is arguing with that mothers aren’t seen as being sexual beings? She does live in 2021 not 1870 right?

I honestly don’t know what type of company Ashley keeps or why she allows the very small amount (in relative terms) of trolling private messages or the daily mail message board to believe that she needs to be on this one women crusade to shatter patriarchy by taking pictures of herself in underwear.

It’s not revolutionary or earth shattering that mums do ‘look’ sexy. It’s been 30 years since pregnant Demi Moore posed naked on the VF cover. The vast majority of the celebrities that I think of as ‘sexy’ are mums. It hasn’t seemed to hinder many celebrities as being seen as sexy after children. JLo is a mother of twins and in her fifties and yet was offered the starring role of a female stripper in Hustlers. All bar one of the Kardashians are mums and two of them have (allegedly) become billionaires after becoming a mums so it hasn’t dampened their careers. Most of the successful female rap stars are mothers too. There’s rap songs by male artists saying how sexy it is to date a mother as they are strong minded, independent and take no bullshit. My Instagram feed is awash with yummy mummies all still seemingly attractive / showing their sexiness like they did prior to having children.

Ashley’s definition of what it means to be sexy is very limited to appearance - advising her followers to buy underwear, spend a lot of time putting on make up (as she was so happy to do so today), spend money on a totally pointless sex toy that won’t give you sexual pleasure nor do anything to improve your pelvic floor as any physiotherapist would testify. And then pose on a bed (Blurgh!) wearing cheap underwired (Blurgh!) black and red underwear (double Blurgh!) made by the seedy Ann Summers just does not sit with my definition of sexy. It’s so dated and reminiscent of 90s page 3 glamour models. Yeah Ann Summers has a female chief exec but a company for female sexual freedom, empowerment and expression it ain’t!

The only person who seems to have a problem with associating sexiness with motherhood is Ashley herself otherwise she would not have this fixation to ‘prove’ how sexy she is on social media. It screams insecurity problems and really is something I hope she is having intensive therapy sessions to help with.

Moving on from this point - but in similar vein to why the heck do you do this to - Posing in underwear that you have said makes you sexy with her breast dangling out in full display bar the nipple with your son sucking on your breast is very well... concerning for the welfare of your son frankly. It’s actually a pervert with a mummy fetish’ wet dream and the constant images and videos that you show using your son as a prop to titillate your audience to validate your need to be seen as sexy is so worrying. There are men, woman and transsexuals who dress up in nappies, create role play that mummy is feeding them, write fan fiction, act it out and make porn videos around this. Ashley is actually creating content for these people to masturbate to whilst she breastfeeds her son.
Yes I agree with you Ashley, you should be free to breastfeed without being sexualised but unfortunately many people do sexualise this- particularly if your are creating content that showcases how ‘sexy’ you are.

But I couldn’t bare the thought of my child being used as material in some sick perverted weirdo fantasies and as such I wouldn’t put out that type of content on social media. I feel sorry for your son that you feel the need to do so and are happy to exploit him for profit (to pay for your fancy new house in Essex...).

 

[RunDMC]

Eurgh! I’ve never posted on here but I’ve been pushed too far by Ashley today and I need to vent somewhere!
I actually have a love/hate relationship with Ashley. It’s refreshing to see a young woman talk about feminism and other taboo subjects but her ignorance of her privilege just really riles me up!
I don’t care if you see your gifted baby products and free medical appointments as simple perks of being an influencer. The fact is, your audience don’t get any of these privileges and your blasé tone of allllllll the extremely expensive baby items you’ve been given is startling when during a pandemic many pregnant and new mums are visiting food banks to get by.
Many women are in low paid, demeaning jobs, with threats of unemployment due to the pandemic. So the feminism you speak of only resonates with white, rich women. I’m not saying middle class because there’s many middle class women who
Cannot
Afford to pay for 1-2-1 reformer Pilates classes.
It’s £25 per class with 8 other women for a basic reformer class with a normal Pilates instructor where I live up North. I dread to imagine how much a one on one class would cost, centre of London, and with a trained female health instructor. It would easily cost 1/3 of your weekly statutory maternity pay. Would be lovely to have but ummm no thanks I need to buy nappies and food from my mat pay.
This is why when Ashley gives advice to other mums to demand a physical or female health professional appointment is so tone deaf. I’ve been waiting for over 6 months to have a meeting with a consultant for my prolapse which has been delayed due to waiting lists and COVID. I simply can’t afford to pay private.
Ashleys had sooooo many items gifted to her that’s she has forgotten that she has a second baby mat stored elsewhere. 2 mats for the one baby?! How many other baby products does she have the privilege to forget about?

 

[Chardonnay]

Ashley: “Why do men ask about my breasts?”


Next post.... tits completely on show

She fuckin loves the attention. She’s a dick. I literally see hers more than my own.

 

[AllAboutTheMayhem]

Why is any woman who disagrees with Ashley, a woman hater or a troll? Why is her opinion the ONLY opinion? Even when people express entirely valid, articulate opinions, they are just dismissed.
She has just called out someone because they felt uncomfortable with her Ann Summers image that include her baby in which she talks about sexual pleasure. .. and now she’s on an inarticulate rant, that doesn’t even make sense

“ because, like, men, like go topless,like and women don’t see it as sexual, like”

Jesus. Someone PLEASE take the internet off this woman!


Maybe people just don’t like her relentless attention seeking behaviour and struggle to see where it fits in the world or maybe some women, who have jobs, and careers, and families, go on line for an hour when the kids are in bed, and happen upon Ashley’s self obsessed diatribe, see her pictures of her wandering around start bollock naked, or at the very least with her “ definitely non sexual breasts” out again, and just wonder WHY?
Why aren’t we allowed to question that?


Also, given her struggles with accepting the opinions of others ( informed or otherwise) positioning herself on a social media platform where she’s subject to the opinions of others DAILY, might not be the right move for her?

Maybe just stick to “DJ’ing” eh?

 

[Smellis]

The woman is a walking contradiction
L O V E S co sleeping and being woken multiple times a night by her baby - shoves him in a cot death trap just to get 3 hours sleep

L O V E S breastfeeding (for herself and has never highlighted any benefits for her baby) but dying to wean him on packet food when he’s clearly NOT ready in the slightest

 

[AllAboutTheMayhem]

These rants recently are just awful ! She has quite evident issues. I think she seems to forget that many of the people reading her comments, have birthed, have fed babies, and bizarrely, didn’t feel the need to have their breasts out continuously. In fact, quite the opposite. It’s simply not a necessary part of breastfeeding, nor is the constant filming of it. I get that she thinks she’s some sort of breast feeding evangelist, which conveniently gives her the excuse to expose herself hourly.
Of course now she has good reason to get her breasts out, because she’s keeping her child alive! ( as opposed to the “ attention seeking” she might ordinarily be accused of). A simple difference of opinion isn’t bullying or trolling and she is entirely unable to see anything from a different perspective, she’s absolutely intolerable.

She definitely has a lot of narc traits, I mean that recent post where she’s posing in the PM style? If it weren’t so dangerous, it would be quite funny the way she’s decided she’s an expert in everything.. when quite obviously she’s an absolute wreck. Publicly declaring women who disagree with her as “female misogynists”. Good God.


(I speak as a psychologist, as a woman, as a single mother of girls, and a breast feeder)..

 

[sunnydaysx]

I feel like she needs to read this and then get a grip

 

[Lreb88]

Imagine not even being able to say your own child’s name because you have to link people to a swipe up reveal. I find it so tacky.

 

[Nutmeg]

Hey guys, just thought I’d pop in and let you know Ashley’s breastfeeding. Not sure whether she’s mentioned it at all since the baby was born

 

[goldenretriever]

I have sent her stories and links to her posts to the Lullaby Trust. She is dangerously ignorant and actually really bloody insulting.

Aside from the fact that her actions are dangerous and contravene safe sleep advice, suggesting that her son is safe because she knows him/ has instinct is a huge accusatory slap in the face for those who have lost little ones from SIDS. Did they not know their child
enough? Did a lack bond cause the SIDS?

Honestly, if she’s going to make a living on the platform she needs to take responsibility for her content and the potentially fatal impact it could have. If she wants to ignore safe sleep advice with her child and refuses to see sense, then that’s her look out but don’t post it out for thousands of followers to potentially copy. She is connected enough to have access to experts, courses etc but others don’t. Her followers could she what she does and think ‘she’s informed, she must have researched this, it’s got to be okay to do this’.

If she wants to reap the rewards of her position, she also needs to accept that it comes with responsibilities too whether she likes it or not.

 

[dragcon123]

Something I can’t stand is how immensely privileged she is and thinks she has ‘manifested’ everything she has. ‘Don’t compare yourself’ she spouts as she is gifted every single baby toy and gadget you can think of to make life ‘easier’ - her clothes are all gifted and she’s going on about how ‘not to be insecure about your postpartum body’ whilst she’s wearing a new outfit daily. I’d be confident too if I had that money but I’m still wearing leggings and T-shirt’s from pregnancy

also the doula and postpartum ‘check up’ - again as if the majority of mums could afford that.

anyone that gives her any pointers is just ‘jealous’ and anyone that doesn’t have her wealth needs to ‘work hard’

Be yourself but don’t pretend you’re ‘just like other mums’ because you’re not.

 

[Gossipgurlll5]

In her stories today she’s said that she thinks she’s depressed (which she very well might be) and struggles because society expects new mums to survive on no sleep, be the best mum and be on hand to your child 24/7 but also get on with normal life too? I don’t think that’s completely true, the amount of women that reached out to her to advise her or warn her that this would be incredibly difficult to it all and maintain your identity etc and got ridiculed and shut down is awful? Ashley is the one who expected she’d thrive on no sleep and still have her entire life the way it was just with a new addition? Ashley is the one who expected it would be easy and it wasn’t as hard as other mums paint it out to be? She publicly shared people’s private messages to her giving her mum advice (to also show she wouldn’t be alone when feeling like things were hard) and she berated them for it? I find it hard to sympathise with her when she’s been like that to other mums?

 

[AllAboutTheMayhem]

Yes I thought the same today. She’s so incredibly defensive. The way she justifies photographing/ filming herself naked is so bizarre. She sees herself as strong independent woman, I see her as an incredibly unstable woman who needs a LOT of help.

Yes, breastfeeding is normal, what isn’t normal is the need to film it all day every day and post it on social media.
She isn’t normalising it, she’s simply advertising what a desperate attention seeker she is.
In fact I’d say she’s doing the polar opposite of normalising breastfeeding!
I managed to breastfeed and be a breastfeeding supporter and never once needed to film myself doing it. Never squatted on the pavement, never walked around the house stark bollock naked filming myself. It just isn’t necessary. Conversely, she knows it’s an incredibly divisive and inflammatory topic ( as is the controlled crying / cry it out) and it gets her attention, good or bad. I feel she doesn’t really care what type of attention she gets because as long as people are talking about her, then that’s good enough for her.

I also think she’s actually made things worse for herself by believing the hype she put out there in the early days.
She’s blocked and dismissed anything or anyone that tries to suggest that things might not be as blissful and easy as she’s made out in the longer term, particularly when exhaustion sets in, so it was inevitable that she would come crashing down when reality hit..

Like today, that hair loss comment. It’s quite simply true that there will be quite significant hair loss. Mine didn’t happen for 2 years! But it will happen. It’s not a personal attack on her, it’s not designed to piss on her chips, it’s a simple fact.

She’s entirely unable to cope with real life because of this artificial “toxic positivity” narrative she’s created for herself.

 

[Dailychat]

If she is 34 weeks pregnant, why is she saying 7 weeks to go? Is my maths broken? Does she know she will go 1 week overdue? Confused

How dare you try and tell her how long a pregnancy is. This is her pregnancy, she will decide what will happen. She doesn't need unsolicited advice about such issues on keeping her baby safe

 

[Smellis]

So I hate ‘pulling rank’ but as a midwife… please, please don’t listen to this overgrown teenage woman about your periods coming back having ANYTHING to do with the vaccine
there are many, many factors as to why your periods may come back while breastfeeding even down to your cycle before having a baby and genetics. Please just know it’s a general rule. My own came back at week 14 PP and I breastfed **exclusively** for 5.5 months. If she’s weaning and feeding him up/less feeds/less night time feeds then her periods will come back naturally. NOTHING to do with the vaccine.
Also please as a woman don’t use the daily Mail for advice on your periods.

 

[oceanblu]

Hey guys, new to this, and so glad I stumbled across because this woman is really starting to grate on me lately. Does she own a bikini that actually fits her? We get you have big breasts but that doesn’t mean you have to buy things 3 sizes too small!