childfree by choice : Most liked Posts

This is the only ultrasound result I'd ever want

We had a staff survey come round where I work (huge nhs trust) about how well their doing, rewards and recognition etc
A load of it was dedicated to family friendly policies aimed at people with kids so in the additional comments box I went OFF saying it’s 2024 having kids isn’t the societal norm anymore and a family isn’t just whether or not you’ve got kids, there should be equal policies for those without kids

Anyone else hate it when an influencer who you follow on here has a baby? Molly mae, Stacey solomon etc. Their threads turn into mumsnet with everyone talking about their own traumatic births, sleepless nights, teething an how tired they are. The terrible twos. How the celeb has no idea how hard it is to raise a baby, they're lucky they've got money/nannies. Then the arguments start on whether or not a baby needs to be breastfed, an if the car seat they are in is safe. Not sure what my point is, but they dont half make being a parent sound like an utterly miserable experience. I couldn't cope with it all, its bad enough reading about it from strangers on here

Welcome to the new thread. Thanks to @pecan for the new title and the new car window sticker inspo

Previous thread:

For those who are worrying about their lonely senior years, let's all consider this

Sits back and waits to be told we will die sad and alone.

Iris Apfel has died at 102, I didn't know she hadn't had children, but I was cheered when I read about her thoughts on this, and maintaining a sense of wonder in your life

Once you have children you never stop worrying.

One for us

it’s not been changed?! said:

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Bold of him to assume assume I ever STARTED trying to be sexy & have fun.

I was waiting at a crossing today, there was a mum and little girl stood next to me, the mum turned to the girl and said “should we do your maths games when we get home?” And I just thought GOD what a boring life.

Imagine going home to play maths games when you could go home and do literally anything else.

Just saw this and had to share here... the anger and resentment when people live their best childfree life from miserable parents is hilarious Stuff like this just reinforces to me that IT'S NOT BY FORCE TO HAVE KIDS! And the people that force it upon others are not responsible for birthing the children or raising the children so why do they care so much

coming in hot this morning with a bit of a rant about “mummies” after something that happened at work yesterday that has played on my mind a bit.

i work in a 90% female office - where pretty much every possibility is covered. we have childfree, childless, two people undergoing a long ivf journey, people who have adopted, people with teens and adult children, grandparents, pregnant…. and a small group of mummies with children around the same age (i think they might be the famed “boddler” stage).

one of the childless women has been very open about her journey, how she feels about the lack of children in her life etc. she is in her early 50s and has a menagerie of rescue cats who she adores (and also a husband but secondary to the cats obvs). she joked a little yesterday about being a cat mum…..

when she left her desk the mummies basically thought the idea of this was hilarious. cue numerous “funny” comments about if the cats were going to do her a drawing or send her a card for mother’s day next week, isn’t it ridiculous that she gets photos of the cats throughout the day, how silly. baring in mind, again, this woman is childless not happily childfree and we have people undergoing long fertility journeys in the office. it struck me as needlessly cruel.

it sorta struck me a bit then that nothing we do will ever really be “enough” for these women. our lives will always be figures of fun due to the lack of baby/boddler/child. all the condescending comments about not feeling real love, the cats won’t come and visit her in a home, tilting head to the side while they ask about weekend plans. does having a baby give you a superiority complex along with the famed compassion and kindness you’re apparently also supposed to get? i’m sick of trying to argue that my life is just as worthwhile as theirs.

(will say they are also being mean to new mum as she’s not part of the “original group” which )

Satisfying Click said:

We're not a museum exhibit.

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*David Attenborough voice*: and here we see a childless woman - alone, miserable and lacking in empathy. they’re about to undertake their fascinating daily ritual of driving their Ford Focus to the local offy for a bottle of Pinot. Their lives are simple and yet meaningless - why do they even bother to exist?

chocolatepanda6 said:

Had to listen to someone at work slagging off a colleague who’s early 20s for having no responsibilities ‘ I mean she’s not even got kids ‘she was one of these mummy martyr types and I really wanted to say oh no one held a gun to your head and make you have two kids . I love winding these type up by just mentioning my pet every time they mention their offspring cause I’m sure they have as little interest in her as I do in their kids .

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A colleague made a snide remark to me one time, in front of others. along the lines of 'easily known you're not up half the night with a baby'. I said 'you made your choices and I made mine'.

Apologies for the rant but…

I wish parents would stop commenting on this thread. I could not care less about your experience of being a parent. I don’t go and comment on the (many) pregnancy/children related threads speaking about my experience of being child free because it’s not wanted.

It really fucks me off all this ‘you have no purpose/value without kids’. Firstly, I personally feel a huge sense of purpose through having a career universally acknowledged as being socially important, and I can’t imagine I would feel more ‘valuable’ by raising one kid than all the clients who tell me I’ve helped them on a daily basis…but secondly, we don’t even need a ‘purpose’. You live and then you die, your only purpose is to do whatever you want during that time, and that’s going to look different for everyone. I don’t get why so many people with kids can’t get their stupid tiny brains around the fact that we don’t all want the same thing or feel satisfied or fulfilled by the same things and that’s fine?

I saw someone on a Facebook group showing various heart shaped food from supermarkets she had bought saying these were perfect for your kids so they don’t “feel left out” ? Left out of what?! Why does everything always HAVE to involve them it’s so weird. Most kids wouldn’t even care about Valentine’s Day

I'm in my early 30s. I've got very little contact with my family because they're very, very abusive. So I've got used to being alone. In my 20s it was torture to never have anyone to lean on, but now I am very self reliant and resilient. I look around me at people my age and realise that they are still very reliant on their parents and partners. They often think they have better lives than me because they think that being alone is a bad thing, but from my point of view, it's a pity for them that they rely on other people, to the extent that they will even stay in relationships they're unhappy in, and they daren't go on a dream holiday if no one will go with them. It's really sad to see.

I so much enjoy my own company and life now, that I feel irritated at the thought of someone disturbing it. Even when I have short-term relationships, I just hate having to live my life around someone else, like have to compromise what film to see, what night to go out, having to have them in my space. I think there is a lot of pressure on women to be selfless, even to the extent that if you say "No, I don't want to get married or have children" people pressure you that you should ignore that and become an unpaid maid for a husband and children.

Even apart from having a family, it would make you round-the-clock in contact with people you really didn't want in your life. It's scary that teachers can just email you now, and parents from the school gate can Whatsapp you whenever they want. Health visitors, kids' friends' parents, other people talking to you just because you've got a bump or a pram. I think it would be hell.

I have a hobby I am very passionate about, and the thought of having children, which would take my time away from that, would be almost ruining my life.

"Who's going to look after you when you're old?" Well, that's my responsibility. Having children would make a severe dent in my finances that would cut into my savings/pension or ability to hire carers or move into a care home. I profoundly disagree with having children expecting that they're going to look after you when you get old. It's not 1970, where your daughter will live on the same street as you and have time to come and do your laundry. People often move far away from their parents now and juggle three jobs.

What if they are born with a severe disability or have an accident, and they can't look after you? I find that people are blind to the real possibilities of having children. They only imagine an easy pregnancy, an easy birth, a healthy child. They don't think about the permanent physical damage that many women suffer in childbirth, or the fact that the child may have serious disabilities. I'm not saying disabled children are worth any less than any other child, I'm saying that most people who want children seem to only be prepared for the easiest scenario.

I wasn't put on this Earth just to be a slave for other people. The economy is very bad for ordinary people right now, and to have a kid would plunge me from "managing" to "below the breadline". People having constant access to me would be a damage to my mental health. I think I would be a shit parent, not because I'm a bad person, but because of the person I'd become if I were constantly harried, invaded, sleep deprived, poor and unable to do the things I love.

/ramble.

Peace out!

We got told at work recently by a child free manager that we should use our personal time e.g. weekends for professional development, which is a problem all of its own.
What tipped me over the edge completely though, was a colleague then saying ‘it’s alright for her to do that, she doesn’t have a family’. I am absolutely enraged. The thought process that not having pumped out babies = no family, and nothing better to do at the weekends than work makes me want to punch said colleague in the face.