childfree by choice : Most liked Posts

It always makes me laugh when those that have procreated tell us that they are raising tomorrows generation of doctors, nurses, teachers etc. All their offspring are going to be a benefit to society apparently. Logic tells us that some are raising tomorrows murderers, rapists and thieves but they don’t like being told that.

Heres a story for you all. My cousin is childfree and was telling me about something that happened yesterday with a mum and her son in the doctors waiting room. A mum and her son (around 3 years old) came in to the waiting room. The mum entertained and interacted with the kid for about 5 minutes then she got her phone out, told him to sit in a chair and put on some repetitive kid's songs for her son to watch. Out loud, so the whole waiting room had to listen to a song about "counting pumpkins" with a robotic kid's voice. Whenever the kid said "mummy" or tried to interact with her, she would point to the phone without saying anything or would put another kid's song video on for him. She told me the kid at one point was watching a song about fruits and kept saying "Tomato" the American way and the mum then went "Why do you say it like that? It is is tomato" obviously completely oblivious to the fact that the reason why her son is using American pronunciation and words like "fall" is because he is repeatedly shoved in front of a device playing songs with American words and terms instead of getting interaction with his mother. If she actually read him some books or interacted with him properly he would learn the correct words and how to pronounce things the British way. She said she was losing the will, sitting there already with a bad headache and now she had to listen to a song about fruits and counting pumpkins on repeat. One of my biggest pet peeves is small children shoved in front of devices all the time. I was asked by a father of 3 once "Do you know how physically and mentally exhausting it is raising children? What's wrong with a parent using a phone or YouTube for a child , just to get some peace?" and I said "I do actually. You should have thought about that before you had them. Why should your child be babysat by a device constantly and lose out on proper childhood memories because you put no thought into what children are actually like to raise?" I got a dirty look after that. But back in the 70s, 80s and 90s parents managed to raise toddlers and children in public and at home without shoving a device in their face constantly. Toys and books were good enough back then.

At the risk of sounding like a cold hearted bitch - I really don't care if it's hard to entertain kids. Not my problem. Think about that before you take them out, it's the responsibility of parents. I don't go outside expecting to be a free entertainer or babysitter. And I don't mind kids being at restaurants when they behave appropriately for the venue, but I think it's a shame a lot of parents now won't teach their kids how to be quiet etc but will just shove a screen in front of them. There's a whole bunch of research showing that even 2 hours of screen time a day makes kids less intelligent. Screens do not replace parenting, our parents did without them, it's lazy.

Some parents like the martyrdom of it all.

'Oh I haven't been to the bathroom alone in years. I never get to drink a cup of tea while it's hot. Heehee.'

Me -

I totally judge parents who put a screen in front of their kids when out and about, whilst simultaneously always hoping that my friends will do that with their kids if I'm out with them to get some peace and quiet.

oliviaobivia said:

I don’t get why people would have a ‘child free’ thread. You don’t have kids, you don’t maybe like or want them so why do you feel the need to discuss it with others? I don’t like cats, And don’t plan on ever having any but I wouldn’t join an online forum to discuss why I don’t want any every day? No hate, just a bit curious about why the need for this forum. The same with the child free Reddit forum.

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You could say the same for the various toddler/child threads… why would they want to discuss it with others every day either? Doubt you’d ask them that though

E84Blair said:

Really? What posts have made you miss the child free life?
All I see on here is a whole lot of denial

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Denial?! Really. Most of the posts are about us being grateful for our disposable income, clean and tidy houses and sleep. If I wanted a baby I could have one, but spoiler, I don't want one. I prefer my Mulberry handbags, nice holidays and Sunday lie ins!

I have two friends who both never wanted children, from the time I met them, one at 16 one at 24, never changed their minds, never regretted it. Whikst I don’t regret having mine if I could have my time again with the knowledge I now have I wouldn’t have any. I love them yes, 100% but the worry is horrible, they are really decent young adults, but the stuff going on in the world just means I never really stop worrying about them. Plus their are many MANY times when being a parent is fucking crap. Seriously such hard work. O body likes to admit it as they think it means they don’t live their kids but that’s bullshit. Id die for mine, but if I had to do another bloody school run,or parent evening, I’d want to stick my head in an oven. I salute you all for sticking to your guns, long may you have sleep, money, tidy homes and stick two fingers up at those you judge you.

Saw a woman on tiktok whose husband passed away around a year ago. She's popped up on my FYP a lot and is clearly not processing the grief in a healthy way... She is saying she is now doing IVF with his frozen sperm, against the wishes of his family. So now her whole account is about having IVF as a widow on the NHS (No idea how she's managed to blag that) ... as a single woman..... What. The. Hell.

Her tiktok is now a shrine to this incoming child of a man who died a year ago. It is so creepy. She nukes any "negativity" so her comments are just filled with people wishing her well and I'm sitting there like ?!?!?

I wish people thought a bit more before having kids. So many people bring kids into dysfunctional situations, poverty, (already) broken homes, getting pregnant after 5 minutes together, single-parent households, etc. I know of a girl who has managed to get a 4-bed council house after having kids with 3 different men over about 8+ years, but the working middle-classes get zero help to buy a home, etc. A friend of mine with a child has a brand new flat (that she then moved her new boyfriend into!) paying fuck all rent on it in comparison to what someone without a child renting privately would pay...

Kids. The easy way to getting a cheap home, eh. All you have to do is pop one out, claim homelessness, live in a hostel for a few months and boom, brand new council new build given to you. Probably right next door to someone who just paid 450k for theirs.

Popped into Sainsbury's last night as the cheese had gone mouldy, and I needed wine. Priorities!

There was a young kid In her pjs with bright red cheeks and the most horrendous cough, so clearly unwell. Mouth wasn't covered so these germs were being coughed all over the shop, the tills etc. There were 4 adults doing the shop. Wtf couldn't one of them had stayed at home in the warm with the crotch goblin so it's germs weren't being spewed everywhere just before Christmas. This sick child than ran up to an very frail looking man gave him a hug and then proceeded to cough all over him. Poor bugger. Parents are so inconsiderate. Husband thought I had gone insane as whenever I saw/heard it, I did a 180 at speed.

Saw this and thought of this thread

I'm going to spend the rest of the day on the parenting threads saying "I don't have kids, but this is what I think..."

(Jokes!)

Um watch your child? Of course a coffee shop isn’t child friendly, not everywhere has to be a playgroup

That car window sticker someone shared would make a good title

“No baby on board, feel free to crash into me”

Well my weekend off was ruined by some little twats with a football running riot in a cafe. I walked out of the toilets and was hit straight in the face with said football. My brow and cheekbone on one side are now swollen and bruised

I asked a member of staff to talk to the parents of the children, only to be told they aren’t allowed to do that in case the parents are offended and complain or leave bad reviews. It seems only the breeders and their offspring get to enjoy going out now

I used to tell my MIL we had to do the plant, pet rule first before babies. Keep a plant for a year, then keep a pet etc. Now we have a cat I just tell her the cat doesn't want any competition so thats that.

I really do believe it’s thinly veiled envy that they’re experiencing. Whenever I talk to my friends with babies they more and more honest as the kids get older about how hard it is, how exhausted they are, how they rarely get freedom to eat what they want/work out/do hobbies/take holidays etc. All finished off with the usual “but of course it’s all worth it and I wouldn’t change a thing.” So many of my friends will openly say they wish they’d had their kids later in life (we are early 30s) and I think that’s the tip of the iceberg. Instagram is guilty of making pregnant and babies seem so glamorous and enviable, but not much consideration of having an actual screaming child to manage after that…

Never known love like it

I'm sure I'm not alone on this, but one of the things I often hear is "oh but you're SO good with the kids?!" Like....yes? I can have fun and play and laugh with them. What do my friends think I'll do - boot their kids in the face?? Doesn't mean I want to spend time with them, I would much rather an adult conversation

I’ve found my people! I made the decision about 6-12 months ago that I don’t want kids.

I’m 39, single and still have lots of things that I want to do with my life and acknowledging that kids aren’t part of the plan was a complete game changer and so freeing.