childfree by choice : Most liked Posts

BWGossip said:

My friend just got a baby, like 7 days ago, and they already took it to a restaurant?! Why not order take away and chill at home?

I fear they will bring him to the cinema soon as it's their main 'hobby' and they want to keep doing all the stuff they used to do before

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the phrasing of “just got a baby” is killing me here

GirlOnTheTrain said:

Things like this just make me think that some parents just must wear blinkers, they are so unaware of what’s going on around them…what if there was someone trying to get off who had, say, mobility issues or lots of bags or something.

I went to a Christmas market yesterday and the way the stalls were set out didn’t leave much room on the pavement…but oh no it’s still totally acceptable for parents to expect the seas to part for their huge, obnoxious buggies…I’m like yeah don’t worry love I’ll just topple into the cheese stall, I’m sure they won’t mind..

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I was at a Christmas fayre in the week, stood at a stall with my sister, when this woman with a buggy started pushing her way through (it was quite poorly laid out and tight with people mingling). We had our backs to the walkway as we were looking at a stall, when she basically shouted at my sister can you get your bag out of my child's face! My sister, turned and said considering I was here first and am standing still, I think you need to get your child's face out if my bag the mother huffed and just barged through. I was quite pleased my sister called her out

Jesus, how fucking boring and self obsessed do people become when they have kids? Just had a text from a friend who I haven’t spoken to in ages. No how are you, what’s going on with you? The entire text was about her little darling who I have met once. It was a random completely out of the blue text. I was a bit miffed but replied politely saying “that’s nice. What are you up to this week?” Thinking oh maybe she wants to meet up for a drink and to catch up (completely forgetting it’s half term)

Dear God.

“It’s half term so I’m so busy with (her kid) we’re doing this on Thursday, Friday we are going to the farm, the weekend we’re going to blah blah blah”

Full run down of her weeks activities that I could not give two shits about.

Then I randomly get another standalone text later that afternoon.

“Currently waiting at the park and Ride with (kids name)”

Like….. Are you fucking well?!

Why do I give a fuck about that? Honestly, am baffled. How am I meant to respond to that? WHY would I possibly care about that? Why did she think that was interesting to tell me? Am I expected to reply to that?!

Honestly, it’s like you exchange your brain for your kid at birth. It’s embarrassing how socially inept and narcissistic people become when they have kids. Not everyone cares about the inane details of motherhood!

Cross posted in the rant thread but I figure it will be appreciated here as well!


Someone I work with is moaning about her teenage daughter and what she’s asked for for Christmas. Kid wants about a grands worth of shite. We’re talking gucci bag, a £40 insulated mug, expensive make up etc etc.

She’s fucking 13 and sounds like the most ungrateful little shit I’ve ever come across. At some point you have to manage your kid’s expectations and be like “erm no you ain’t getting that, that’s my entire months wage gone right there love”

But instead all day today I’ve heard her mum bleat on about how on earth she’s meant to afford everything on her list. Rambling on about maxing out her credit cards. How she’s really worried if she doesn’t get everything she’s asked for.

So I lost it. Told her her kid needs to suck up the fact that “I want doesn’t get” and to fucking get a grip of herself.

Didn’t go down well but seriously getting yourself into debt because you can’t say no to the ridiculous demands of a teenager?

Can I have a minor rant here please?

I went to my family's annual NYE party this year. Normally this party is great, it's all adults except for a couple of toddlers who are well behaved and quite sweet. Every year the hosts give a toast to everything that's happened in the past year (big achievements, births, deaths, weddings etc).

So this year we had:
Congrats to cousin and their partner on getting engaged and upcoming wedding *everyone goes "congratulations!!!"*
Congrats to other cousin on milestone birthday *everyone goes wooooo*
Congrats to other cousin on having a baby *awhhhhh!!*
Congrats to couple on buying a house *approval noises*
Congrats to my sister on having a baby... *awhhhhhhhhhhh!!!*

At which point my grandma chimes in "and lazy_space on becoming an auntie!"

This was (rightfully) ignored by everyone, and the list of congrats continued. I know she was only trying to be nice and make me feel included, but apparently the best thing I did last year was that my sister gave birth. So nothing *I* actually did!? I know I didn't have a 'big' achievement but I did accomplish things (a load of professional exams for my job which everyone knew about, and which just about killed me) but obviously that pales in comparison to being made an aunt.

I know she was trying to be nice but it just made me feel so fucking useless, like nothing I ever do will be as 'important' as having a baby.

P.S. Have held niece and remain unbroody and resolutely childfree. New baby smell is a lie, she smelt of sour milk.

Still baffled by people coming into this thread when it’s not relevant to them? Having our own space to talk in is co-existing happily because we’re not encroaching on your space?

Two of my friends have just had a big falling out because of working hours. They both work part-time at the same school and job share so one works Mon-Wed and the other works Wed-Fri.

The friend with a baby has kicked up a fuss because she wants to swap hours to Mon-Wed so she can have a long weekend and take her kid to a play group that only runs on Fridays. Her MIL is also the head teacher at their school so she ends up getting her way a lot of the time. Our other friend is single with no children and has said that the job was advertised to her as having Mon-Wed and wasn’t really keen on changing because she likes her hours. Long story short, the head teacher pressured our single friend and now she’s lost those hours so she’s really pissed off.

This is why parents get such a bad rep. I don’t care if you choose to have a child as long as it doesn’t affect me. It’s such garbage that someone else’s decision should have an impact on someone else’s life and not only that, but they seem to get priority??

A martyr mum posted this on Instagram this morning

Apart from the obvious of not wanting a screaming child with me 24/7, one of the things that puts me off is the absolute tedium of it all.

Don’t get me wrong I live a “boring” life but the mere thought of doing the school drop off/pick up every day makes me recoil It just all seems so BORING. Having to talk to other parents, going to kid friendly events, watching a load of uncoordinated small people dance around a hall while you question your own existence. And worst of all taking them to the park when it’s cold and having to watch them climb on various apparatus when you could be under a blanket on the sofa. I just couldn’t do it!

Hello chaps...I'm back, I stepped away and then shit happened. Mothers' Day is big time grinding my gears today, could they be any more saintly?

I caught covid last weekend, I'm still testing positive and so is my husband. By Weds we were both pretty much on our arses and my husband noticed the 18 yr old dog was unwell. We somehow got the vet to agree to see him (in the car park) and had to have my baby PTS there and then, me holding him with a long line attached so they could inject him from a distance. Today is the first day I've been able to even think straight.

I'm avoiding FB and most social media yet again. The OTT mothers posts are pretty difficult to someone bought up in a family with all sorts of NPD and scapegoating going on. My mother routinely gas lit me , my sister is a fucking narc (her kids are selfish too) . My mother would sell me down the river for a quiet life, even turning her cheek when there was violence and aggression. Tell me again how motherhood is the hardest job in the world and how they're all martyrs. It pisses me off so much there's no nuance. Anyone can be a mother, literally even the most evil bastard in the world.

Satisfying Click said:

This absolutely does my nut in. *Man changes nappy* "OMG, he's so great with kids!" Same goes with the fawning over men who do basic household chores.

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Huh this reminds me of a funny story. My father used to be a stay at home dad for a few years. When other mothers saw that he was dropping my brother every day they complimented him. One day my mother and I dropped my brother and one mother said "It is nice of your husband to drop your child. You are very lucky.". My mother being the very direct woman that she is replied "He is a father, that's his job. Do you clap for a fish when it is swimming too?".

At the time I couldn't understand what she meant but being an adult now it makes so much sense.

So glad I've found this thread! Sick of being made to feel like there's something wrong with me for not wanting kids.

Also this made me laugh, thought it would be appropriate here

DCICassieStuart said:

Couldn't agree more. I'm 43 and I've never heard my so called biological clock ticking.

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You never will, the biological clock thing was debunked but people still love to ‘use it against us’!

It’s so bizarre to me can you imagine if I tried to convince everyone I met to be an accountant;

How long have you been an accountant?
I’m not an accountant
What? Wow, when are you going to be an accountant?
I'm no
Why?
oh, I don’t want to be an accountant
But you’d love it! Just try it!
It’s a big commitment
Yeah, but once you’re an accountant it’ll all be worth it
It costs a lot of money
You can’t put a price on being an accountant
I just really don’t want to be an accountant
Ok, well your choice but you’ll regret it when you’re retired and you’ve never experienced being an accountant

pinkmug said:

I probably will die alone but none of us know how we'll go. It might be tragic or unfair or peacefully with loved ones near by.

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This idea of dying "alone" is so perplexing to me anyway, because we're all born alone and all die alone?? I get that people are referring to having loved ones around you in the years before death and perhaps at your deathbed but;

A) What are the odds you die at home peacefully surrounded by family - I think it's far more likely that you'll be in hospital surrounded by nurses/healthcare workers.
B) How do you know you'll be lucky enough to get to "old age"?! Do you even want to live into your 90s??
C) Is it ACTUALLY preferable to be looked after by your kids as you age? Do you really want to burden your children with that? Do you want to lose your dignity and have them washing you and feeding you and wiping you? It's a tough job physically and mentally, I think I would prefer to have a professional person who is paid to care for me.
D) There's every chance that if we are elderly we'll get Dementia/Alzheimer's and won't have a clue who anyone is around us
E) Who says "loved ones" have to be children - or blood relatives at all?! Who says my partner won't be holding my hand as I slip away, my best friends won't be gathered around giggling with me in my last few moments? Who says the love of platonic friends is any lesser
F) Not to mention - WHO is to say your kids will be there for you! They will have their own lives, their own families, their own troubles. They could move to the other side of the earth, fall out with you, have health issues of their own, die first!

....As you can tell, I could go on!...

MavisBeacon said:

I think pandas are cute, it doesn't mean I want one

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A friend once asked me why I didn't want children. I asked her if she wanted a pet tortoise, she scoffed said of course she didn't, why would she want one of those in her house. I replied that's how I felt about children. It did not go down well, as you can imagine

This could probably go in the rant thread but it also relates to being child free….

Meant to be heading out for a meal with some long term friends this evening to celebrate my 40th birthday (which was a few months ago), I don’t live in my hometown anymore so drove back especially, it’s been planned for literally months…out of the 5 of us, there are now only 3, as 2 have dropped out very last minute due to various reasons to do with their kids. I’m pretty irritated (but trying not to let it bug me) as it wasn’t even my idea to meet up for a meal for a belated birthday celebration in the first place as I just knew this would happen. I always turn up for their events, be it weddings, christenings, kids birthday, baby showers, but a meal for my birthday (when I never ever arrange things to celebrate “me”) is apparently too much effort.

I know things can crop up, but surely if you have known for ages that something is in the diary, you would make every effort to prepare for it, especially if you rarely see that friend & they never ask anything of you usually. I guess I’m just annoyed as the excuses to me seem pretty thin, or ones I just would never use if I was in their shoes as I wouldn’t want to be chained to the house 24/7 and would relish time away from the kids.

One says it’s too soon to leave the baby for the evening as they are co-sleeping (the baby is almost 1 and surely you would have known that before agreeing to go out for an evening meal) and the other says they have to work and can only do it in the evening when their kids are asleep as they don’t want to do it during the day and miss out on “family time”. I have known this person since I was 5 so that excuse particularly pissed me off if I’m honest.

I feel like so many of my friends use their kids as an excuse to stop having a life, they become incredibly boring and either never want to do anything, or if they do, they suggest mindnumbingly dull things that are all about their kids. It’s ducking tedious and then they wonder why people stop bothering to suggest things or stop inviting them! I will probably be the only one drinking as well this evening, I just don’t know why they even suggested a meal if they weren’t willing to commit to it properly. I shall be logging this mentally for the future and will not be putting much effort in for them going forward as I am just quite sick of this happening all the time.

Thank duck I celebrated my actual birthday with some amazing activities, as if this had been it, I’d be screwed!

Gem_woody said:

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A martyr mum posted this on Instagram this morning

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Erg, to all the mothers you brought this on yourself.

I hate this attitude that mothers as some sort of superior being who are so selfless.