childfree by choice : Most liked Posts

What annoys me, and I’m probably going to get shot for this, is this idea that a child free persons spare time is not as valuable as someone who has chosen to have children.

Hello Everyone!
I'm 51 years old and child free. I feel people are more tolerant these days about women choosing not to have children. But when I was younger... OMG.
First I was told I would change my mind when I grew up.
Later I was told I would change my mind when I fell in love.
Then I was told I would change my mind once my biological clock started ticking.
The best thing about hitting my mid 40s, was that people would ask "do you have kids" (as part of normal conversation) and when I said "no", they quickly moved on (in case I had tried and failed to have them). This same question used to lead to a never-ending string of questions when I was younger.
I was told that "I wasn't normal", and I was asked if I was sexually abused as a child (I wasn't). I lost count of the time people told me I would change my mind. No, I haven't. I have no regrets whatsoever.
Lovely to meet you all!

Interestingbitsnbats said:

Hope you did one of them replies saying your kids were vandalising and that's why you where asked to leave. Or just ignore it that would make them more pissed and reply to the good ones x

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I replied with a photo of my trashed planters and the cost of replacing the plants … they deleted their review an hour later

I work in an office where the majority of people have kids and although I'm sure they do love them, they don't half complain. They get flexible working arrangements for childcare whereas I don't as I don't have kids. As though the only reason you can have flexibility is because you have kids, not just because you want to do other things with your life apart from work.

Anyway I once was speaking to a colleague and said how tired I am (I'm a full time carer for a relative with very complex health needs), and one of the women in the office walked past and burst out laughing. I ignored her thinking it wasn't to do with me and she said 'sorry I just find it hilarious when people without kids say that they are tired'. I almost lost my shit I am not a mother and I don't know what it's like to be a mother, however I don't think the only way you can possibly be tired is by having kids. There are MANY difficult situations in life including your own health and I hate how people belittle these things just because they see themselves as better for having kids.

Lady_H said:

I think to choose a child free life and live it successfully really does require interests to occupy your time, particularly as you get older. They don’t have to be wild and exciting interests, but as your more and more of your circle of friends have families of their own you need something in place beyond coming home and chilling on the sofa with the same person every night which feels very different in your late 40s than it does in your late 20s.

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Not to be a weirdo but I was curious that someone child free would say this. So I had a look at your other posts and it seems you have a child.

Which makes it quite odd that you’d come to a child free thread to tell us that we need to get some interests (but they shouldn’t just be watching TV or chilling at home) to have a successful child free life…

What always gets me is HOW do people have the ENERGY! Maybe it’s just my thyroid problems but I’m absolutely knackered after working my 9-5 (which I absolutely love but it is a lot of mental effort), all I can do after work is collapse in a heap on the sofa. By the time I shower/tidy/eat/wash up/do various life admin, there’s hardly any time left in the day. I spend Saturdays keeping up with cleaning and my standards are woefully low lol.
Imagine all that on top of all the things you have to do for a child - school admin, cook for them, brush their teeth, take them to school, drive them around, read to them, put them to bed. All while getting WAY LESS SLEEP. When would you have free time? And that’s just one child! I’d have a mental breakdown and end up in a facility. I’m actually surprised more women don’t.

Just popping in to add my two-pence worth. Kids are overrated. I have three. You’re welcome.

You know when you order a meal- and it ain’t great- but you keep eating in the hope that it might magically improve. I did that with kids.

I can't really word this in a polite or kind way so I'm just going to say it: The news about Kate Middleton is horrible but I bloody wish people would stop with the "and she's a young mother!" Yes, it's awful for her children but for the one millionth time, child-free lives are not disposable or less-than! I also rarely hear that reaction when it's a man/father who has been diagnosed with an illness.

Even in sickness and health we're conditioned to believe that mother's lives are more important than child-free ones.

Hardest thing I've ever had to do but just broken up with the love of my life as he wants kids and I just don't. I love him so much but I feel relief.

I thought that true desire for kids and readiness for that stage of life would eventually come, and I'm only in my late 20's but even though my peers are noticeably settling down/moving away/getting more boring it just made me feel like the walls were closing in. The no sleep, responsibility, overstimulation, no money, no nice holidays I just don't want any of it.

Just saw this on Reddit and immediately needed to share it here!

Had a brief chat with a friend this weekend. They are trying for another baby apparently and she told me, in true mum joke fashion, that she'll now have three kids to look after. The joke went over my head and I asked if I missed another baby along the way and she was kind of annoyed that she had to explain to me about her husband being her third child.

I find this absolutely tragic and no laughing matter tbh. If your life partner is a full grown adult who is incapable of running his own life and still needs his undies folded and his mess cleaned up by his wife/gf, the guy should be embarrassed that his partner feels the need to be a mummy for him too. I'd have zero patience for this kind of crap and I cannot honestly wrap my head around why anyone would want to have a baby with a man-child. Shit like this make me glad to be single too. Yikes.

Aliali23 said:

If one doesn’t like to be judged for not having kids, why so many judgey comments about people that do have kids We should just let everyone make their own choices without the judging. I used to wonder how people could even think about not having children (until I had my own And realised what a sacrifice it was) and I never saw it as rude to ask, but I’ve educated myself and would now never ask someone those questions anymore

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If you have children, then maybe this thread isn’t for you? This is a place for child free people to openly discuss the reasons why they don’t want children.

The difference is, no one would go up to someone with a child and judge them for having a child, yet when you don’t have children you have to face the judging comments to your face all the time…

I wouldn’t go on a thread full of mothers and get offended by people judging those that don’t have kids, because I chose to read the comments, but that doesn’t mean I’d like to have those comments said to my face, just like I wouldn’t go over to someone with a child and start criticising their choice to reproduce.

mickeycat said:

No, sorry but I spent my childhood giving up seats for older people and it's my turn now. Especially if I've paid for and reserved my seat. Mummy should've reserved them all seats.

I've seen mothers on buses refuse to fold up their buggies or create a massive entitled eyerolling fuss when someone in a wheelchair needs to get on and use that space. Fuck off with that shit. Yeah, it's a hassle for you but wheelchair trumps that every time.

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This reminds me of a situation my partner and I found ourselves in on a plane journey a few years ago. We were going to Spain and had booked the aisle and middle seat, the window seat had already been purchased.
A man, woman and two kids (I'd say maybe 8ish and maybe a teenager) got on and the woman kept looking at us so I had an idea what might be coming.
The mum was directly behind us and the dad was on the row opposite us with the kids on either side of him. The teenager had earphones in, by the window, the younger kid had an ipad and earphones too but the mother was obviously not very happy she was separated. Although sat directly behind me she could still talk to the youngest child, she just had to lean forward. He was engrossed in his ipad anyway. the dad wasn't bothered either but she then tapped me on the shoulder and asked would i mind maybe swapping seats so that she could sit beside her family.
I refused. I told her I had purchased my seat.
She then went on to ask the person who had the window seat if they would swap with her so that my boyfriend and I could move down to the window and middle seat as i was apparently not wanting to sit alone. Her words lol. The cheek like.
The man at the window said no, sorry, he had wanted a window seat and didn't want to move. My boyfriend told her really politely that we had booked our seats for a reason and we weren't happy to move either.
So she then went to the cabin crew and explained her ordeal and requested they ask us to move which they weren't able to do. I have anxiety so confrontation etc can be really triggering for me and I was absolutely moritfied but we stood our ground and refused to move, all 3 of us in that row. Cabin crew informed her that our seats had been pre booked and there was nothing they were able to do.
Her attitude was absolutely stinking in all honesty. She huffed and puffed the whole way through the flight, talking loudly to her child beside me who wasn't paying attention to her - she was obviously doing it to try and wind us up which it didn't in the slightest. Anytime one of us got up to go to the toilet she would give us dirty looks. All we could do was look at one another and smirk... it was the behaviour of a child but ironically her children were being really well behaved. The husband throughout this looked really embarrased. If it had maybe been a new born or a young toddler I might have considered it but it wasn't. If you want seats directly beside your family, fucking pay for them.

I have on my dating profile "no dads please" - bloody hell, the abuse I get for it! "So you see my kids as baggage?", well yes, yes I do!

At the end of the day, why would I want to be around a walking, talking living reminder of the fact you once came inside another woman?

Gem_woody said:

Saw this posted on Instagram. These kind of posts annoy me
I can think of many things that feel incredible to me.. a massage, riding a roller coaster, a long uninterrupted sleep, etc etc. Apparently nothing compares to this though!

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It's lovely that hearing their child say 'i love you' makes it all worth it. It's just a shame it's not real isn't it? Because their children don't know what love is as they haven't got their own children.

oliviaobivia said:

I don’t get why people would have a ‘child free’ thread. You don’t have kids, you don’t maybe like or want them so why do you feel the need to discuss it with others? I don’t like cats, And don’t plan on ever having any but I wouldn’t join an online forum to discuss why I don’t want any every day? No hate, just a bit curious about why the need for this forum. The same with the child free Reddit forum.

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But no one will ever question you about why you don't want cats or suggest you're weird for not wanting them. Childfree people get this all the time and a thread like this is a space where we can vent and share our experiences.

Already seen one of those mothers day posts which includes 'people who chose not to be mothers'.

I do not need celebration or sympathy on a day that has nothing to do with me. Might as well say happy birthday to everyone on earth every day or happy father's day to children who aren't old enough to reproduce

Thread title suggestion!
Childfree by choice #8 Parents keep scrolling, we don’t need your trolling!

saw this on Twitter

So I've had a recent cancer diagnosis (luckily caught very early and now having radiotherapy and hopefully surgery early next year) so I've been reading and watching a lot of cancer forums, blogs, vlogs, articles etc for education and advice.

Some comments I've come across quite frequently re more advanced cancers than mine, is people saying that if they didn't have children, they wouldn't bother having treatment or surgery. This really upsets me -- does this mean my life is not worth fighting for because I don't have children!? I don't have much family either, so I consider my close friends family, but even if I didn't have them I would still want to fight for my life, because... it's my life. If my cancer had been more advanced and I needed more gruelling treatment, would these people look at me and think "why the f is she bothering"?

Sorry for the depressing rant, but it's been annoying me and had to get it out!!