Childfree by Choice #8 Parents keep scrolling, we don’t need your trolling!

[Saddlesoap]

Congratulations @JE172

Parents take note; we don't bother you in your child dedicated threads [Mod edit: sorry, but threads cannot tell others where they can and cannot post. If you see something that you want the mods to look at, please use the report function]
Please and thanks

 

[JE172]

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Congratulations @JE172

Parents take note; we don't bother you in your child dedicated threads, so don't bother us in ours.
Please and thanks

Awww my first ever thread title! That’s made my peaceful childfree Sunday even better. Now off to walk my dog then popping to Boots for new make up followed by an afternoon of F1.
Bliss

 

[HoGi]

Was in a cafe waiting for my breakfast yesterday when child started screaming. The offending child was only about 10feet away from me. Mum did nothing to try and tell them to shut it. She just sat there scrolling her phone while she drank a hot chocolate from hotel chocolate!! So wasn’t even consuming anything she had bought in the cafe, there was no evidence on the table that she had bought anything from the cafe and after about 10 minutes she got up and left her now empty HC cup on the table and walked out. So looks like she just used its convenient location to HC to stop for a rest!!!

 

[Saddlesoap]

Awww my first ever thread title! That’s made my peaceful childfree Sunday even better. Now off to walk my dog then popping to Boots for new make up followed by an afternoon of F1.
Bliss

There are so many F1 fans in the childfree threads!
I love it.

 

[Weeder]

Morning selfish bastards. I'm sitting with a hot water bottle shoved up my jumper on the sofa, catching up on threads and drinking coffee. We had a great Friday. I had 3 clients, this is amazing and my business is very niche and only just taking off. 3 clients in one day is so good, then I got a call out yesterday and although I wouldn't normally go at the weekend, my business is new so I needed to drop everything and run. My life allows me to do that and it's really good for the optics. (OMG she dropped everything etc etc), plus I need the money , there's no way I'm turning down business. I'm so excited just now. I've had some awful weeks feeling like I'm flogging a dead horse. 2 weeks ago my phone didn't ring at all, I was bereft. The only person who phoned my business phone was me when I couldn't find it . This week I've seen a few clients, built up rapport, organised some advertising in a magazine (EEEEEEEEEKKKKK) and I'm feeling a bit more positive.

On Friday our mate closed his craft beer shop (rates, rent, austerity, cost of living) , we helped him get rid of the last of his stock and drink the taps dry ...was very funny. He gave us some glasses (along with silly prices) and we were laughing about usually stealing them from pubs,

We caught up on The Last of Us ..anyone watching? Watched Picard and today probably catch a film or read in beautiful peace. I swear I'm meant to be somewhere but I don't know where so never mind

 

[Sayrz]

I've just stumbled across this thread (I am childfree and don't think I want kids in the future either), but I'm curious how you guys find dating? Since I am still unsure about kids in the future I am reluctant to date guys who definitely want kids, but where can I find guys who don't want them its impossible

 

[Blond3g1rl]

I’m still in bed drinking coffee. Husband is home today. Next weekend he can go back to bringing me coffee in bed so my feet don’t need to get cold

 

[joibly]

I've just stumbled across this thread (I am childfree and don't think I want kids in the future either), but I'm curious how you guys find dating? Since I am still unsure about kids in the future I am reluctant to date guys who definitely want kids, but where can I find guys who don't want them its impossible

I’m in the same boat. Don’t have or want kids and trying to find a man with the same is damn near impossible. I’ve found that most men without kids want them eventually, of course they do. They think they can do minimal work, not have to grow or birth the damn thing and also it’s a lot easier for them to walk away when born and the woman is left, literally, holding the baby.

On a dating app ok Cupid I set my parameters to guys that don’t have or want kids and I think I swiped through all 50 of them without liking any of them, and that was it. Run out of guys!

I’ve come to terms with the fact I might be single forever and I’m so ok with that because I have great friends and family, some with kids, and I love my childfree and peaceful life!

Love reading all the stories on here as I’m only 34 and I get the feeling some of you are a bit older so I’m not worried about what the future holds for me being CF. Xx

 

[Gem_woody]

I’m in the same boat. Don’t have or want kids and trying to find a man with the same is damn near impossible. I’ve found that most men without kids want them eventually, of course they do. They think they can do minimal work, not have to grow or birth the damn thing and also it’s a lot easier for them to walk away when born and the woman is left, literally, holding the baby.

On a dating app ok Cupid I set my parameters to guys that don’t have or want kids and I think I swiped through all 50 of them without liking any of them, and that was it. Run out of guys!

I’ve come to terms with the fact I might be single forever and I’m so ok with that because I have great friends and family, some with kids, and I love my childfree and peaceful life!

Love reading all the stories on here as I’m only 34 and I get the feeling some of you are a bit older so I’m not worried about what the future holds for me being CF. Xx

Don't worry, the good ones are out there!

 

[Smca53]

Spotted on an influencers story and immediately thought of this thread what a grim weekend

 

[Interestingbitsnbats]

Spotted on an influencers story and immediately thought of this thread what a grim weekend

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I go to my mates kids dance show and child only dances twice but have to sit watching other groups i make sure I only do day one so the people watching kids aren't ratty etc and I can have a drink after when my friend has to dash back for the evening one

 

[Baby Giraffe]

Went out for a lovely lunch with friends a couple of weeks ago and then for a couple of drinks afterwards. Yummy mummy type came in with 3 primary school aged kids. Kids (understandably) bored but mummy was fine cause she had her glass of Pinot. The place was pretty empty so guess the owner turned a blind eye to the fact it was a totally inappropriate place for kids but they lost our trade as we drank up and went elsewhere as the screaming, shouting and electronic noise was ruining our afternoon. Seems like pretty poor parenting too.

 

[Clickbait]

Spotted this and thought this thread might appreciate it:

 

[drewydrop]

Spotted on an influencers story and immediately thought of this thread what a grim weekend

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Same influencer was moaning yesterday about being at a soft play and being interrupted every few minutes, like did they not realise this is what happend?!

 

[delicioustrifle]

I’m in the same boat. Don’t have or want kids and trying to find a man with the same is damn near impossible. I’ve found that most men without kids want them eventually, of course they do. They think they can do minimal work, not have to grow or birth the damn thing and also it’s a lot easier for them to walk away when born and the woman is left, literally, holding the baby.

On a dating app ok Cupid I set my parameters to guys that don’t have or want kids and I think I swiped through all 50 of them without liking any of them, and that was it. Run out of guys!

I’ve come to terms with the fact I might be single forever and I’m so ok with that because I have great friends and family, some with kids, and I love my childfree and peaceful life!

Love reading all the stories on here as I’m only 34 and I get the feeling some of you are a bit older so I’m not worried about what the future holds for me being CF. Xx

There are definitely good childfree guys out there! I met my fiancé on Bumble when I was 35, will soon be 41.
I had the same kind of thoughts as you at the time - happy enough with everything else in my life after a previous marriage, so it was a really nice surprise.

 

[Black.bird]

Was looking forward to a lovely dinner with friends last night, but one brought her three-year-old so the mood felt very different ... after she left (early, because she had to get the child to bed), a few comments were made along the lines of, thank goodness, now we can relax and talk about adult stuff.

It's not that we don't like kids; it's just that we were all looking forward to catching up and having adult conversation. Instead, every time her child did something, his mother would interrupt the conversation and tell us all to look at him.

---

Earlier today, I was browsing a homewares store for some things for work. There were two kids running up and down the store; the adult with them was buried in her phone, oblivious to the situation. A couple of times the kids bumped into me, so I told them off (in response, one of them poked his tongue out at me); I was just about to grab some cups and take them up to the counter when I heard an almighty crash - they'd run into a shelf displaying large platters and bowls, and had sent several flying. The lady behind the counter was going berserk at them while they were crying and carrying on ... it was very stressful and I got the heck out of there. There are signs in that shop stating that if you break something you have to pay for it ... I hate to think what the tally would've been. Why do people even take kids to those sorts of stores?

 

[Interestingbitsnbats]

Was looking forward to a lovely dinner with friends last night, but one brought her three-year-old so the mood felt very different ... after she left (early, because she had to get the child to bed), a few comments were made along the lines of, thank goodness, now we can relax and talk about adult stuff.

It's not that we don't like kids; it's just that we were all looking forward to catching up and having adult conversation. Instead, every time her child did something, his mother would interrupt the conversation and tell us all to look at him.

---

Earlier today, I was browsing a homewares store for some things for work. There were two kids running up and down the store; the adult with them was buried in her phone, oblivious to the situation. A couple of times the kids bumped into me, so I told them off (in response, one of them poked his tongue out at me); I was just about to grab some cups and take them up to the counter when I heard an almighty crash - they'd run into a shelf displaying large platters and bowls, and had sent several flying. The lady behind the counter was going berserk at them while they were crying and carrying on ... it was very stressful and I got the heck out of there. There are signs in that shop stating that if you break something you have to pay for it ... I hate to think what the tally would've been. Why do people even take kids to those sorts of stores?

I hope they didn't talk their way out of paying

 

[really_whythough]

There are definitely good childfree guys out there! I met my fiancé on Bumble when I was 35, will soon be 41.
I had the same kind of thoughts as you at the time - happy enough with everything else in my life after a previous marriage, so it was a really nice surprise.

When I met my partner (fiancée, whatever but that word feels too fancy for me!) on a dating app we both had open minds about having kids. Life hasn’t worked out that way for various reasons (we never ‘tried’). We are both realists and know that we need to have stability and enjoy our lives as a couple so it’s off the table now.

As time has elapsed over the the last few years, I’ve become more and more sure that I actively want to remain childfree. I can prioritise my business, my body, my mental health, my partner and my passions. And never have to go to a tedious snot-fest Saturday afternoon kids’ birthday party where they get amped up on sugar and then packed off home for me to deal with! No ta!

 

[flutternutter]

I think for a lot of men having kids is just the accepted default and there's no thought beyond that. Its easier for them because they dont have to grow the thing, generally don't do the lions share of the parenting and as a result rarely have to give up their career.

One friend has always adamantly been no kids and her now husband wanted them. He changed his mind because he loves her.

My husband wanted kids but it didn't happen naturally. When I told him I didn't want to do treatment and just wanted to enjoy my amazing life there was an element of grief for him but he's got over it.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is, dont close yourself off to men who "want" kids. Yes tell them your position, but I dont think its always a deal breaker

 

[mickeycat]

I think for a lot of men having kids is just the accepted default and there's no thought beyond that. Its easier for them because they dont have to grow the thing, generally don't do the lions share of the parenting and as a result rarely have to give up their career.

One friend has always adamantly been no kids and her now husband wanted them. He changed his mind because he loves her.

My husband wanted kids but it didn't happen naturally. When I told him I didn't want to do treatment and just wanted to enjoy my amazing life there was an element of grief for him but he's got over it.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is, dont close yourself off to men who "want" kids. Yes tell them your position, but I dont think its always a deal breaker

I was Internet dating for a few years in my late 30s, about 10 years ago now.
I had originally been adamant that I only wanted to meet a man who had no children. I was open-ish to the possibility of having some but ideally wanted someone who didn't want any.
I realised quite quickly that available men of my age locally, without kids, were quite rare so I did open myself up to the idea of guys with kids and dated a few guys who I was attracted to. However, I was still really hoping to meet someone childfree.

Anyway, after a couple of years of online dating (that I can only describe as 'a learning experience' ) I met my now husband. He had two kids, aged 11 and almost 9. They lived with their mum in a different city and he had them alternate weekends and during holidays. He'd split from his ex when they were toddlers and although his relationship with his ex was tricky, the kids were happy he'd met someone and we got on well.

They were old enough to have fun with and they've now grown into fantastic young adults. I never attempted to parent them but have always been there for them.

My husband was clear from the start that he did not want any more children and I was happy with that.

The whole thing was moot anyway as I fell in love with their dad and I was happy to accommodate the presence of the children. Last year we got married and I'm now officially a stepmum to two adults.

I think it might have been more difficult for us had the kids been a lot younger, if they had lived closer, if he had wanted more kids with me and if the ex was more recent.

Anyway, I agree with above about being open to possibilities. Don't close yourself off to guys who already have kids as there may very well be someone perfect out there with a situation that could work for you.