bubbletea123

VIP Member
Anyone else childfree?

Childless = can't have children for whatever reason, could be medical, etc.

Childfree = someone that chooses not to have children.

I am an only child and have known since I was quite young that I didn't want children. It can be quite annoying as I am at that age where people are having kids, and people feel like it is their business to ask when I will have kids. There almost still seems to be a taboo against women who choose not to have children which is frustrating.

Let's keep this civil :)
 
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Suzyfickle

Member
I didn't know this thread existed, I've just read all 18 pages 😂

I'm childfree, relationship free and pet free. I've never had any interest in "settling down", I can't think of anything worse than living with a partner who's there all the time. 😂 I don't want to have to consider any other thing or person, I can go to gigs/sports/holidays/out out without having to arrange for someone to look after the dog/child. It's often easy to get better tickets for things if you just want one than if you need two! I love doing stuff alone.

I'm not a high powered career person either - I have a good job that allows me to have my holidays and enjoy the things I want, because all my money is for me. I don't have to think about buying pet food or accounting for potential vets bills, my disposable income is my own and I feel so in control.

I got out of bed at 11.45am today, a few weeks ago it was quarter to two in the afternoon 😂 on weekdays I get up at 8.40 to start work at 9 and even before WFH I was lucky enough to work a short walk away so when some of my colleagues were already at work for an 8.30 start I'd just be rolling out of bed to start at 9. I can't bring myself to get up early enough for breakfast let alone sort out a child or animal. I'm in my pyjamas now since I finished work for the weekend at 5 last night and I intend to stay in them until Monday 😂

If anyone asks me if I want children my reaction is genuinely "oh god no - I can't think of anything worse." I say it jovially but it generally stops the questions!

I'm 36 and I've never had a boyfriend or even been on any dates because I'm just not interested.

I know this is selfish but it's perfect for me. My great aunt recently died aged 91 and she had never married or had children, up until the last few years when she developed Alzheimer's she was still travelling and enjoying herself, she was completely fulfilled. That's the life I want!
 
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whoareyouu

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I’m just going to come out and say it because I don’t feel I can speak to anyone IRL about it as I have friends who are going through IVF etc but unfortunately found out I’m pregnant. That was Friday. I had booked a termination within an hour of finding out. It is not for me. I feel like a foreign entity is invading my body and I can’t wait for all of this to be over with.

This has further cemented the fact that I do not want children.

I don’t feel bad for what I’m doing at all.
 
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pinkmug

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I also really hate the idea that you have to find a "purpose" really!! The same as how you should be doing a job you love - I don't love work! It's okay to just be getting through each day, doing small things that make you happy, spend time with loved ones, take trips to new places.

There's just so much pressure on everyone (and especially women) to somehow do everything.
Thank you, this was nice to read from someone else too. I've said this on these threads before but it's like the childfree life has to come with compensation. We need to have fun, full, adventurous lives, many nieces and nephews that we love and spoil, travels abroad to exotic places, wild social lives with upscale places to spend our money at...

I fit in none of these categories. I lead a small life. I have a job that pays the bills, I spend time with friends and my parents, I try to keep a decent relationship with my sibling, I work on myself and my mental health issues, I try to go to the dentist on time, I read, I play video games, I visit museums, I laugh at memes and watch the same three series for the 10th time, I save money for holidays and try to enjoy myself. I just want to exist in my own lane and not make effort to make my life admirable or enviable for anyone. I am already very lucky to live the life I live.

I have much to be grateful for, without the "fun" I'm supposed to have. I am able bodied, (somewhat) sane and mostly healthy. I am literate and educated, I've traveled to a few countries, I have a home and a family and people I love who love me and tolerate me when I'm miserable. I can afford treating myself here and there. I get tired from crowds and I like staying home. It's okay with me that I am not in Thailand one week and Lapland the next, but sometimes it feels like we are expected to make up for the lack of parenthood either with loving and spoiling nieces/nephews/friends' kids, or by doing everything a parent can't easily do.

It's wonderful if one wants to do all that but just getting on with your day should be enough too.
 
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I notice everyone one who has had kids young always say, if I could go back I wouldn't change it, or I wouldn't change it for the world. Why are you lying? Of course you would.
I’ve been reading this thread and I just wanted to put my 2pence in.
I do have a child. I had my child when I was 16. And if I could go back in time I would change everything. The biggest regret was having a child and I have felt that way since I gave birth. Actually, since I was pregnant. What a waste of my life, it did not make me ‘grow up’ in the standard terms ; in fact it crippled me in depression, anxiety and debt. It made me backwards in my approach to life, some what lazy. I was in and out (at the beginning) of bad relationships and made horrific choices.
I sit here now, and my child is about to leave home and make it on their own and I feel every bit of elation. I’m working in a crappy job but I have applied for higher education through college with a promise position in uni. I’m so damn excited to be alone. To be free. Child can make it on their own, they have everything they need and for the first time in my life so have I.
And the funny thing is? I get parent shamed. Yes. You read that right. Because I’m still young, don’t want any more kids. But because people in my circle are just having or have young ones, then I’m ‘lucky’ because I get to lay in. I get to come and go. I get to spend money on what I want. I don’t know what it’s like to have sleepless nights at this age. I don’t understand how lucky I am that my child is old enough now and moving out. They have years to go. And it’s been done so passively aggressively. Lucky? I’ve had 16 years of fighting the urge to scream from the rooftop I didn’t want a child. That I’ve had to live with someone you can’t just change, something that suffocates your life and sucks out your soul. That is suffering. Not being 30+ with a 4 year old by choice that you thought would be the sunlight in your half arsed marriage that didn’t fix it, instead has kept you up all night not just with screams of wanting fed, but from invading thoughts about whether this was the right choice for you. But at least now I get to wake up and not pretend.
Ok. I am so sorry. That got so deep. But I felt relief writing that.
 
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flutternutter

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Soooo i am leaving my job. I stayed in a company i hated because the maternity leave was good. As some of you may remember I've not always chosen the child free life, it was partly chosen for me due to losses and inability to get and stay pregnant. When faced with IVF i decided to turn my back on having kids. I have a great life so it was a fairly easy choice 😂

Ive taken a risky job. Its amazing experience. Its a lot of money but its just a contract which they may or may not renew depending on performance.

Its an opportunity I NEVER would have taken. I wanted security for my family, to know when that paycheck was going to come in. It feels so strange, taking this next step in enjoying my childfree status.

I know we all bitch and moan about how annoying kids and parents are but I hope anyone who's on the fence about kids, or fed up living month to month or doing IVF see's there IS another option.

People might call it selfish but I don't HAVE anyone else to think about 😂 so I will be selfish
 
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HoGi

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I used to tell my MIL we had to do the plant, pet rule first before babies. Keep a plant for a year, then keep a pet etc. Now we have a cat I just tell her the cat doesn't want any competition so thats that.
I tell my MIL I'm too busy bringing up one of her kids to have my own
 
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Satisfying Click

VIP Member
I feel sorry for those who haven't experienced the joy of having a sofa. Chilling on the sofa, napping on the sofa, reading on the sofa.

It really is different when its your own sofa. Nothing else compares to the love you feel, once you feel those cushions in your arms for the first time, life takes on a different perspective 💞
 
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prozacprincess

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I finally opened my restaurant fully this weekend, and I’ve already had to ask a family with unruly children to leave. We are not really aimed at children to start with, and the parents were all huffy about the menu not offering ‘kids food’ whatever that may be. Then they proceeded to tell their kids to go and play outside in our courtyard. The courtyard isn’t actually in use yet for dining, apart from the odd smoker and hardy dog owners, but I’ve spent a long time and a fair amount of cash creating this beautiful Mediterranean type space with planting and lights. The little bastards were out there pulling up my plants !! I informed the parents of their behaviour and suggested politely that the children might want to be told to sit down inside. Instead of apologising for their kids vandalism they kicked off at me. I stood there while the Dad ranted at me and when he realised he was getting no reaction he stopped. I just smiled and asked him if he was finished. Then told him to take his family and leave my restaurant and to please not return.

I’m waiting for a bad review on trip advisor or something but I don’t care.
 
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Doobeedoo

Chatty Member
Right. I think the most frustrating part, is people that say I am selfish for not wanting children. That doesn't make any sense. It would be selfish of me to have a child that I didn't want.
This! People (before they know I can’t have kids) , tell me I’m missing out, I’m selfish, you don’t know love until you’ve had a child. Yet when I say I would like a dog, they all say “it’s too much responsibility , think of the cost etc”

People just need to bloody butt out and mind their own business :)
 
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HoGi

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Sorry if it’s already been mentioned but also with Christmas under a couple of months away, I’ve found at times that if you don’t have children some colleagues who do have them assume that they’ll be getting all of the Christmas leave they want and that you’ll be in to cover seeing as you don’t have a family - eh but I do! I’ve parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, grandparents who I want to see & spend time with.
My husbands company is first come first served and people with kids will book Christmas off 4 months in advance. This means he has worked the last 12 Christmases.

Last Christmas while he was working and no one else was I told him to book next Christmas off. He was horrified and was like...that's taking the piss a bit isn't it? I said no what's taking the piss that you have worked 12 Christmases! So he booked it off and no one noticed until about 6 weeks ago and they are all up in arms that one of them will have to work as he isn't. They assumed he would be working.

His boss has tried to convince him to cancel it but he has stood his ground. So we have the whole of Christmas off together for the first time ever 🥳
 
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pinkmug

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Someone at work has just told me they assumed I ‘wouldn’t be into Christmas as I don’t have kids, and if they didn’t have kids then they just wouldn’t bother’ 😂 these people are so bloody miserable
Bold of you to assume childfree people feel joy. I go home, plug myself into my charging device and just shut down until it's time to get up for work again. 🤖
 
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prozacprincess

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My husband got some snarky comments recently from his friend about how having children is worth more than any money he could earn, and how sad and unfulfilled our life must be if we care more about our lifestyle and pets than creating the next generation of humans 🤮

He retaliated by filling our cats beds with £50 notes (film props but you can’t tell) and sending his friend a photo with the cats asleep in them 😂😂😂
 
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MrsBsDayOff

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My reasons for not having kids, in no particular order:

- No interest in children generally, find them boring.
- Scared of childbirth, and associated effects of pregnancy on body sounds uncomfortable.
- I like doing my own thing, choosing what I want to do, when I want. I love being able to get in my car and go wherever I want for the day/weekend, on my own terms. Children would mess this up.
- My partner doesn't want kids either so I don't feel pressure to have them.
 
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judgejohndeed

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People with kids can actually bore off telling us we need interests 😂 isn’t that literally an admission that your kids are in lieu of your personality? Boring
 
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CatCafe234

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Elon Musk now tweeting in support of someone who suggested that people without children shouldn't be allowed to vote because we "have no stake in the future!", some of the responses are so depressing
Cool, but as long as they follow the principle of ‘no taxation without representation’. Since I have no interest in the future, I shouldn’t have to pay taxes that cover things like schools and healthcare for other people’s children ...
 
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Eggsandbeans

Active member
What annoys me, and I’m probably going to get shot for this, is this idea that a child free persons spare time is not as valuable as someone who has chosen to have children.
 
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