Niomi Smart Wiki

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  • Niomi Smart is a social media influencer that was known for talking about being vegan and sustainable. She appears to be no longer vegan and no longer pretending to be sustainable while she jets off on holiday every week.


    Niomi's new boyfriend-life coach without any certification / professional brainwasher is named Jamie White. He used to promote events called "Knickers for liquors" in Ireland where young women have free drinks if they give their panties.

    During one of these parties, a teenage girl was raped, the organisator (Lordon) kept organizing such events.
    Jamie White, which ran the promotion, said the offer is an example of “more exciting things to come,” told papers including the Evening Herald that there’d been no complaints from locals and the Rape Crisis Centre was “wrong” to say it was exploitative. (@news.pollstar)

    His website also posted a "step by step guide for one night stand" giving instructions on how to get a woman drunk in order to have sex with her (thanks to SydneyBarrett for the details)

    We call him Lordon because he can't spell London!

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    Niomi's new fake bestie personal trainer/professional fame seeking tool is named Bradley Simmonds. He eats sushi with a fork.

    Pizza Night

    The notorious vegan pizza a.k.a Joey's final straw.
    Click here for all the details on Pizza Night

    Grans Moving in with Joe Card


    Before the breakup with Joe


    After the breakup with Joe


    When Joe wanted toast and didn't want a feel new tea

    She freaked out over him not wanting her favourite tea while on camera and had to put the tea bag back in the box

    And seconds later it got worse when he meekly said he wanted toast

    Sustainable Landrover

    The Library



    Catfishing Anna

    Come on girls!

    The Nimotional Scale


    Lost in the Jungle!



    Nimsplain (verb):
    1. To be blind to the irrelevant and unrelatable privilege of your own experiences, while condescendingly advising people who experience real difficulty, hardship, suffering or pain that they can overcome said circumstances merely through vague self belief and/or partaking in increasingly bizarre facsimiles of culturally-appropriated practices.
    2. To write a lengthy, rambling spiel in which you attempt to appear enlightened, while revealing yourself to be ignorant and idiotic.

    (source: @Hannah Banana)

    Video Clips