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madeinthemanor

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I last cried all day today. I found out one of my oldest friends took his life last night. I feel so desperately sad for his children and his family he has left behind and for the fact he felt he couldn’t talk through his troubles with anyone. It’s absolutely devastating how he was always the life and soul of the party, making sure our friendship group were always ok and there to lend an ear when you needed a chat. He was an absolute beautiful soul and none of us ever realised he was that desperate he felt he had no other option. Today has been spent remembering my precious boy and feeling guilty that we never recognised the signs.
 
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Hairraiser

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My mum took an overdose on Wednesday night. (She’s ok physically, just not mentally) She’s slowly been having a mental breakdown for the last 2 months. I was 10 minutes away from taking my little boy seeing Santa when I had the call she was in an ambulance on the way to hospital.
I cried and screamed in my car so much someone knocked on the window to see if I was ok ♥
I’m absolutely not ok, but this Christmas is my little boys first Christmas so tomorrow will feel very bittersweet!
 
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Lalla

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About half an hour ago. My 2 kids are my only family (I'm an only child, lost my parents 25+ years ago) and for the last 8 years Christmas has been the 3 of us and my partner. Except now he's my Ex so it's just us 3 again.
I was out with friends at the weekend and they all have big families, 15 people for Christmas kind of thing. And it made me sad that we are just 3, that our family is so small.
 
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Hope96

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Just now because my dad called me stupid and useless. I should be used to it because he's always been so cruel but it hurts each time. Nothing I do is ever good enough. 😔
 
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bunnyboo

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I've been crying on & off for the past couple of hours, in-between meetings (thank god I work from home).

My colleagues are being dicks, my boss is praising everyone except me... not necessarily the reason why I feel depressed, but it's really not helping. Depression is such a curse; it's this feeling like you want to go home when you're already there. Nothing feels comfortable anymore and constantly feeling like things just aren't the way they used to be even when there's no discernible difference.
 
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watermelon sugar

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Mine was a happy cry yesterday when my 14 month old walked towards me and gave me a hug saying 'mama'. He's said mama before but not a lot, and he's never directly said it to me before like he knew i was mama 🥺
 
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Lalla

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Yesterday, because I was thinking about my mum (who died in 1994) and I realised I can't 'hear' her voice in my head anymore. How can I have forgotten what my own mother's voice sounded like? :(

Got a bit upset about that and the unfairness of life generally, that she never got to meet my children, and vice versa. She was such a brilliant mum and would have made a wonderful nanna. I have such a fortunate life in many ways but as a good friend once said, my mum dying when I was 21 (and dad when I was 25) has cast a big shadow over it.

Sorry to anyone having a shit time.
 
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Pinkii

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Yesterday. Bumped into my first love on the weekend after not seeing him for nearly 8 years. Even though i’m married and love my husband, i will never not have love for my first love, its not the same romantic love but i was just overwhelmed with all the emotions and past memories and the what if’s.
 
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Fancyfeathers

Chatty Member
Yesterday i had to sort my late partners drawers his pjs and socks and after 3 years of him being gone it feels like he's never lived here 🥺😪
 
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Peaches_xox

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Last week although I feel like I could cry at any second. Life feels a bit much right now. I feel like I have no real friends. My relationship is up and down. I had a miscarriage two weeks ago and it kinda felt like my last chance to have another baby. I’m 31 and I can’t imagine myself doing it much later then this everybody around me seems so happy and content with life and I’m a 31 year old mess
 
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mee43

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I hope all who are struggling are ok over the next few days. It’s tough when you’re feeling low and surrounded by enforced jollity.
Let’s all be kind to ourselves. Take care everyone x
 
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TapToBoreMeRigid

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This evening. I've been suffering with suicide ideation for weeks. An online friend messaged me last week to see how I was doing. I replied to say not good, sorry I can't talk but I will soon.

I received a parcel a few hours ago with a lovely note from her and some vegan hot choc and marshmallows.

A reminder amid all the crap that there are people who care and who see mental illness as a debilitating thing.
 
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Dancing Dave

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Sunday. I was listening to a classical music playlist on Spotify and the wedding procession song 'Canon in D' came on and I had a small moment when I realised my Dad will never walk me down the aisle should I ever get married. I'm so jealous my sister had him for hers. Makes me realise the moments I will miss with him. Grandkids etc.. Then I came back to earth and had some Coors and listened to some Flo Rida :sick: 🤣 remembering I'm single and don't like kids much. Still makes me sad though.
 
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FoxyBingo

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This morning. My MIL had a heart attack at the weekend and I was with her. We are really close and people are making me feel bad for being upset. "Imagine how she feels" and "you're not the only one to be upset". I've never felt so lonely.
 
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Maid22

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Just now, have had worst prognosis for my dog, have tried to keep my shit together, but have broken down, I find it hard to show feelings, so have written it down here, I'm devasted.
 
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Littleelf

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Today. My dad who lives on the other side of the world has been to visit for the first time in 4 years. He finally met his two grandchildren and spent some real time with us. Today he goes home and it just made me so sad that he isn't going to be a part of my children's lives. We can video call but it isn't the same, and although I'm now in my 30s I've missed him and the feeling of having a parent, he was here for such a short time and now he's gone again. I just feel very sad and I feel like I am on my own.
 
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prozacprincess

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Today outside the airport … I made a joking remark in the car park when I collected my husband. I pointed to a rather beautiful silver Maserati and said I’ll pick you up in that one next time. He started shouting at me about always wanting something else and wasn’t the car he bought me enough … it upset me but I won’t let him see me cry anymore. Just keep smiling …
 
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HelloStereo

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Last night. Not really sure what came over me (prob my period) but I got sad that I never had a typical family life like everyone else did.

My mum used to suffer from depression and she'd cry in the evenings and say she was lonely, and when I gave her a hug and said "you have me" she went "I meant adult company". She also used to treat me differently from my brother. One time she pushed me over and I cut up all my school uniform and I still wore that jumper for years afterwards even though it had holes in the elbows and blood stains. My brother needed new football trainers and she'd immediately spedn the 100GBP or whatever it was on them.

When I was younger my dad would go drinking every day and on the days he'd look after me he'd get verbally aggressive. I'd walk past him and he'd just go "do you want a smack?" Or he'd poke my stomach and go "are you getting a bit podgy?"

I was just thinking yesterday how it's probably not the typical home life. I'm not sure why. Usually I don't really think about it but yesterday it made me sad 🤷‍♀️
 
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