What is your biggest regret?

[working9-5]

*Getting into debt
*Leaving NZ to return to U.K. when the recession hit.
*Not making better decisions where friends and exes were concerned.

 

[Notothefakes]

Ah, thank you. It wasn't a pity post, I just genuinely don't think I am cut out for motherhood.

Do you know I think this of myself. I’ve just had my 3rd child, he was a little surprise but I don’t see myself as a natural mum. I love them, they’re well cared for but I get bored hiding in cupboards playing hide and seek
In terms of regrets I don’t regret Anything because I believe it’s led me to here which is where I’m supposed to be. I do have an ex I wish I hadn’t allowed to walk all over me but then I think it kept me busy for a while so I could be in the right place at th right time to meet my husband. I did what I wanted career wise, it’s not amazing, I’m a teacher but it’s what I wanted to do.

 

[Red hair]

I wasted many years thinking my first love was perfect. Lost good people and potential relationships as a result.
Looking back now I can see it wasn’t a healthy relationship.
Finally starting to realise I was happy living in the past because there are no surprises, and now trying to live in the present.

 

[MissTeddy]

I wish I had worked harder in school, went to a good college then to uni... if I done it all now I’d have to start at the very beginning and it’d cost a lot of money!

I also wish I had tried harder at breastfeeding. I ended up expressing for a slow and painful 5 and a half weeks but if I had tried harder at helping my baby latch I maybe wouldn’t have had to express instead

I don’t know how old your baby is but please don’t beat yourself up about breastfeeding, honestly it makes absolutely no difference the,. They all grow up and into kids in the same way.

 

[Justnoisy]

It's so easy to regret alot of things. Look forward things happen or happened for a reason xx

 

[Platypusfattypus]

Mine is very similar! Liked someone for around ten years in my younger days. We worked together. Not until I was moving away with now husband did he tell me he had liked me for years too but never said anything. Im very happy but often think of the one that got away.

I bottled it because I was still in a relationship which I was unhappy in. I didn't want to cheat but I wish I had given how it ended. He was my first crush, I worshipped him and when he came onto me I couldn't believe it. Then he was in a relationship when mine ended and then we bumped into each other again but I had just got into a relationship with my now husband. He was gorgeous and I do kick myself. It wouldnt have gone anywhere as I was a bit too much for him but I'd have had fun.

 

[Reverend]

1) Behaving like a twat when I was dumped by my ex for someone else (who has subsequently admitted that she has dreamt about us still being together - as she has 5 kids by 3 different father, two of whom never contact the kids, 2 broken engagements, a divorce, a suicide attempt, family sibling breakup - I'm not exactly having the same dream. )
2) Waiting for someone whom I found out wasn't waiting for me (I knew it but was in denial).
3) Allowing myself to be a push over, and not fighting back when I was young. That changed!!!!

 

[Lollypad]

- Staying with my ex for too long. He was toxic and I was determined no one could possibly love me (he didn't cause that, it was my own self esteem to be fair). Now I have a gorgeous fiance who is my best friend, so I guess it all leads somewhere!
- Not getting help for my anxiety earlier. I feel like I missed out on a lot of uni life because I was terrified to leave my room most of the time.
- Not saying goodbye to my Gran properly. I really wish I'd just asked my mum for two minutes with her alone to say everything I needed to say. I feel like she knows it anyway, but I didn't want to take any time away from my Mum at the time either. That's the one that really stings, and it was over 5 years ago.

 

[Raininvain]

I think its not getting rid of certain people early enough. For some strange reason people have thought that they could talk to me how they wanted and got away with it. What I should have done was dumped them asap. Basically when I was younger I think I just wanted to be out all the time and with the in crowd so would put up with nastiness. Not anymore though, 1 nasty comment and they are out.
Its better to be on your own or with a couple of nicer people than with lots of users and verbally abusive types.

 

[LT31514]

I wish I had made more effort with friendships while I was at school. I had a boyfriend, who was a really positive influence on me, but I neglected friendships as a result. Now, I don’t really have a solid group of girlfriends, my friends are scattered around the country from uni, living in different places. None of my close friends really know eachother.
I didn’t enjoy secondary school at all, but I think had I made more effort with my peers I would have had a more enjoyable time of it.

Also regret not trying harder with languages at school. I wish I had studied a language while at university alongside my subject.

otherwise I don’t have many other regrets. I am quite a natural risk taker. I’ve made decisions in my life that at the time friends and family thought I was crazy at the time, but I felt they were right so went ahead anyway. One of those is having my first child at a young age. I knew I would massively regret not having my baby so I found enough bravery somehow and now have an amazing 10 year old, and am married to her dad and had more children together. I’m so glad I made that choice. Just wanted to end on a positive

I love all of your post and feel exactly the same. I’m now living abroad and having to learn a foreign language and wish so much I would have carried on with french when I was at college as that is one of the National languages here, (I’m learning Dutch).

 

[urghmummybloggers]

I regret wasting my 20’s with 3 men who were the biggest waste of space. Went on holiday once with one of them, just allowed myself to settle. I’m glad I made the decision to not waste my 30’s the same way

 

[Renegadedancer]

I bottled it because I was still in a relationship which I was unhappy in. I didn't want to cheat but I wish I had given how it ended. He was my first crush, I worshipped him and when he came onto me I couldn't believe it. Then he was in a relationship when mine ended and then we bumped into each other again but I had just got into a relationship with my now husband. He was gorgeous and I do kick myself. It wouldnt have gone anywhere as I was a bit too much for him but I'd have had fun.

It’s like sliding doors. I think cease the moment is advice I would give my younger self. But I think when you are younger you are scared of rejection, but sometimes a leap of faith is all it takes. Our stories sound similar. Thankfully for me there’s no chance of bumping into him as we now live miles apart. I don’t have accounts with Facebook , Instagram or anywhere I can be found, because I’m not sure how I would feel if he contacted me.

 

[Aceofspades]

Aww it's an incredible city. I knew it was the place for me immediately after arriving. Never had that feeling anywhere else before or since. I would feel weird even visiting there now. I miss it so much. I was Google-mapping some of the sites and showing my kids only yesterday, but my life is so different now, husband, kids etc that I think being there wouldn't be the same as it was when I was young, free and single.

Wow reading your post is like reading about my life! Haha. I have been back since, just once, it was like going back home. All the same smells sights some of the same people I hung around with. So bitter sweet. Such a special place.

 

[sarahboo]

This is me, and it’s actually really comforting reading everyone’s posts on this. I’ve spent since around 12 years old with body dysmorphia and have been in therapy for it but it wasn’t much help. It’s completely life consuming and exhausting. I look at photos when I felt my worst a few years back and I was thin af. Knowing it’s completely ridiculous and I’m not the beached whale I think I am, I still feel like I can’t fully enjoy life because of these stupid thoughts. It affects everything from your social life to even your performance at work because you’re so consumed by the perception of yourself.

Another one is losing touch with a childhood best friend who commited suicide a couple of years back.

So sorry to hear about your childhood friend!

Also thank you for sharing your story, I'm in counselling at the minute but she doesn't think I have body dysmorphia even though everything I do & think points towards it. It was other people who actually brought it to my attention that I likely suffer with body dysmorphia. It really does affect every aspect of your life. I am genuinely sorry to hear your struggles with it as it really is so rubbish.

 

[idk2]

- Not learning my parents mother tongue at a younger age. One set of grandparents don't speak English and as I've gotten older, I've come to cherish our conversations but its very tedious to have someone translating for us (I understand perfectly but I can only speak broken). Learning now so hopefully that'll do wonders.

- Regret not studying further sooner. Going back to uni in September to qualify and its been a long time coming. I've essentially been doing a teacher's job without the money for 2 years, albeit for 1:1 children not classes of 30!

- Saving more money. I came in to a decent inheritance at 18 and although I started off with good intentions of saving but I haven't saved much since. I've been stagnant on the same figure since leaving uni and have become complacent that I have this money instead of adding to it.

- I started writing a book at 14 (Thanks Wattpad!) and I found it when transferring my files on my laptop last week. I was actually impressed with myself. 10 years later and I wish I had carried it on but I simply don't have the imagination or motivation for it anymore.

 

[StairsAlwaysLeadUp]

Is anybody really? Most days I feel the same, it’s so fucking hard now, I’m actually dreading the teenage years. I have two children with additional needs, I blame myself every day for their struggles even though I know deep down that I couldn’t have done a thing to prevent them.

Maybe not. You're right, it is really hard. She's fed / happy / loved etc, she'd never know how I feel.
You are definitely not to blame, I'm glad you know that.
I worry constantly about the future!

 

[Cocoflowers]

*Sorry if triggering*

Having an abortion at 17. I wanted to keep the baby but didn't feel like I'd have any support from my family and my boyfriend was petrified so we didn't tell anyone and I went alone to a clinic to have a surgical abortion. It was decades ago and still haunts me to this day. I know many people have abortions and don't regret them but for me it was the worst decision I've ever made.

I can relate to this because I've been through it massively i had one at 22 regret it ever since. Not much has changed since then i still suffer from it. I still haven't had kids and im 30 next year and i really dont think i will have a chance again also regret that i should stuck with my driving lessons when i was younger to.

 

[MissTeddy]

This could be upsetting/triggering for some. I hope I don’t upset/offend anyone.

One I’ve started to come to terms with recently is cremating my son. I never considered burial and my ex and I never really discussed it but I regretted it for a while. I wanted him whole, when we got his remains it just felt so undignified and wrong. It wasn’t my boy, it was just a container filled with a substance I couldn’t connect with or even consider as having any relation to my child. He was a bright spark with a huge smile and so full of life. So far apart from what they gave me.

I have night terrors and for the first months after he died I had horrible ones about them giving me the wrong child in an urn, or them cremating him accidentally while he’s still alive. I’ve come to terms with it now and I’m comfortable enough with it but that was really tough to deal with for so long. I can’t even describe it but it’s crushing.

I can’t imagine how you even manage to breath each morning, the sadness you must carry. I am so so sorry but I think you’re so brave to share your thoughts on her. There are beautiful things that can be done with ashes now, such as being mixed in with tattoo ink or turned into diamonds. Obviously it’s a very personal decision but I just couldn’t read your post without sending love x

 

[Barbs89]

It's never to late. I joined uni at the age of 28. I had a 2 year old, a full time job but felt I needed to do something educational again. I'm due to graduate this year with a 1st class honours (obviously delayed due to corona). Never to late, go for it.

Thanks and well done to you!

 

[Jellycat99]

I regret not going to uni when I was younger, I knew what I wanted to do but wasn't 100% sure and I had no life experience so it probably wouldn't have worked out. That being said I'm looking at going when my youngest starts school, sadly means I will be missing out on all the freshers fun

Also regret not travelling before we had kids, we met at 19 and got married at 21, then had a baby at 22. We were supposed to go on a long weekend break together but then lockdown struck I most likely would have spent 70% of the time absolutely shit faced so I like to think it was God's way of stopping me from falling pregnant whilst I was there