What is your biggest regret?

[Welsh1]

Self explanatory in the title of this thread but I'm lying in bed tonight reminiscing and regretting a few things so I wondered what your biggest regrets are?

Mine is definitely not budgeting and saving in my younger years. I'm very different now and I'm a saver but I wish I hadn't spent so much money when I was younger on crap. I also regret giving so much of my time to certain people and wasting many years of my life in a way...

 

[Boredinstagrammer29]

My job. Hate it. Wish I’d got into something more creative or caring but just made a decision and stuck with it. Time to have a baby with other half so will be getting a bigger mortgage for a house & don’t feel like there’s time to look into something new and side step into something with same salary

 

[hrh89]

My degree. I which I’d chosen something with more practical skill tbh. I wish I’d taken a year out between college and uni to really think about what I was doing. Absolutely adored my uni experience do not regret that, just wish I’d put a bit more thought into it rather than just picking a subject I loved.

 

[KateESJ]

This could be upsetting/triggering for some. I hope I don’t upset/offend anyone.

One I’ve started to come to terms with recently is cremating my son. I never considered burial and my ex and I never really discussed it but I regretted it for a while. I wanted him whole, when we got his remains it just felt so undignified and wrong. It wasn’t my boy, it was just a container filled with a substance I couldn’t connect with or even consider as having any relation to my child. He was a bright spark with a huge smile and so full of life. So far apart from what they gave me.

I have night terrors and for the first months after he died I had horrible ones about them giving me the wrong child in an urn, or them cremating him accidentally while he’s still alive. I’ve come to terms with it now and I’m comfortable enough with it but that was really tough to deal with for so long. I can’t even describe it but it’s crushing.

 

[yankydoo]

Not taking a gap year either before or after Uni. I wanted to take a year out before Uni and re-do one of my A-Levels. I think if I had done that I would have ended up at a better Uni and course. Although I am doing absolutely fine now career wise, so perhaps it worked out.

Breaking up with my amazing ex due to family pressure. I've been single since (1.5 years) and not met anyone who compares one little bit to him. Getting sick of dating and flaky men. Still hopeful it will all work out eventually, but who knows.

 

[bubbadabut]

@KateESJ my heart goes out to you. Xx

For me it would be not pursuing my interest in languages after leaving school. It was only years later that I continued my studies as an adult and after many years of combining work and studying, I ended up getting a job at the British Consulate in Madrid, where I had some of the best times of my life. It didn't last long as I had to come back to the UK for family reasons. I just wish I hadn't dicked about for so many years after leaving school.

 

[Prgirl_cesca]

I wish we weren't on an Interest only mortgage for so long and therefore we would had paid off more by now or been in a much bigger house. Husband bought his house at in 2004. We continued to have very low interest payments until we switched in 2014. 10 years potentially paying it off.

I would like to say we were on low income and couldn't afford more, or we at least had amazing holidays and enriching experiences, but truth be told my husband just bought a new stupid car every year and we went out A LOT. So much went on beer

 

[LittleMy]

I regret so many thing.

-Letting people push me around as a child. I wish I was more confident.
-Staying in an unhappy relationship for way too long.
-Not saving money when I was younger, before I got married and had kids.
-Not bettering myself and settling for less than I probably deserve.
-Not being able to maintain a good social circle.
-Putting on more weight after having my second baby. I can’t seem to shift it now and I hate the way I look.

 

[annanuttall]

Not standing up for myself with a work bully. This person went mental at me and I just sat there and took it, I also ended up losing my job due to this person. Afterwards, I cried for 6 months every single day. It ruined my self-esteem and confidence. Looking back I should have stood up and said my piece, but I wasn't strong enough. It did teach me that I shouldn't let people walk all over me and to be more confident with myself.

 

[Tessiebear]

This could be upsetting/triggering for some. I hope I don’t upset/offend anyone.

One I’ve started to come to terms with recently is cremating my son. I never considered burial and my ex and I never really discussed it but I regretted it for a while. I wanted him whole, when we got his remains it just felt so undignified and wrong. It wasn’t my boy, it was just a container filled with a substance I couldn’t connect with or even consider as having any relation to my child. He was a bright spark with a huge smile and so full of life. So far apart from what they gave me.

I have night terrors and for the first months after he died I had horrible ones about them giving me the wrong child in an urn, or them cremating him accidentally while he’s still alive. I’ve come to terms with it now and I’m comfortable enough with it but that was really tough to deal with for so long. I can’t even describe it but it’s crushing.

I’m so sorry Hun. What a heartbreaking read
You chose what you chose under the worst circumstances imaginable.
please try not to be hard on yourself.
You son is always with you and you sound like an amazing mum.

I lost my little boy at 7 months pregnant last year. I did everything I could throughout a difficult pregnancy. I practically lived on the maternity assessment ward and was in constantly over any little issue. It was negligence by the hospital that ultimately led to his death. But I’ll always feel I didn’t do enough

 

[Boredinstagrammer29]

Not standing up for myself with a work bully. This person went mental at me and I just sat there and took it, I also ended up losing my job due to this person. Afterwards, I cried for 6 months every single day. It ruined my self-esteem and confidence. Looking back I should have stood up and said my piece, but I wasn't strong enough. It did teach me that I shouldn't let people walk all over me and to be more confident with myself.

Absolutely Anna. Even if you have to fake it. I stood up to a bully above me at work and calmly told her the next day that it was inappropriate to be spoken to like that and next time she needs to be more polite. My voice kept cutting out, does this weird thing when I’m nervous but I did it.

 

[petra23]

Dropping out of university. I hated my course and uni but wish I had transferred to a different uni and changed my course. Instead I ended up just dropping out and being stuck with a £4k maintenance loan to pay back... ended up in a full time job which I absolutely hate, I'm rubbish at it because it does not interest me in any way. I have to remind myself it's money just to get up in the morning.

 

[Pixipoppy]

You know what, this is going to sound mad - but I regret not going off the rails a bit more when I was younger. I never really had that “rebellious” phase and I was always very sensible and focused on getting good grades and not upsetting anyone! I just wish I’d been a bit more wild when I could get away with it. Bit embarrassing to be trying to re-live my youth at the age of 31

 

[Bogwoppit]

Starting things & never following them through because I’m scared to fail & look stupid in front of others, I lack confidence terribly, others would shrug it off but it’s things like college courses or applying for a mortgage!

 

[101d]

Not dumping my ex sooner. What a waste of time!

 

[eyeballs]

Getting married.

 

[LT31514]

I regret not going to university at 18. At the time I had a cushty Saturday job at a bank and they offered me a contract full time. It was fine while my friends were at uni and I was the one with a full time job and money but that soon changed and I was stuck pushing insurance on a till while my friends had careers. I’ve since met my husband and I moved abroad to live with him and I’ve done a university degree online so I’m looking to do a masters degree now. I say I regret this but I believe that every decision leads you somewhere so I may not have met my husband if things would have been different and I’d have gone to university at 18.

 

[Boredofthegram]

Getting married at 23 knowing I didn’t want to but not wanting to embarrass my ex by not going through with it. Not dumping my other ex sooner and putting up with his toxic behaviour for too long. Wasting a lot of money in my youth which meant it took me until the age of 36 to get on the property ladder.

 

[Jg182]

Letting people treat me badly, like a push over.
Not having the courage to cut toxic people out of my life sooner.

 

[onmylunchbreak]

I wish I had made more effort with friendships while I was at school. I had a boyfriend, who was a really positive influence on me, but I neglected friendships as a result. Now, I don’t really have a solid group of girlfriends, my friends are scattered around the country from uni, living in different places. None of my close friends really know eachother.
I didn’t enjoy secondary school at all, but I think had I made more effort with my peers I would have had a more enjoyable time of it.

Also regret not trying harder with languages at school. I wish I had studied a language while at university alongside my subject.

otherwise I don’t have many other regrets. I am quite a natural risk taker. I’ve made decisions in my life that at the time friends and family thought I was crazy at the time, but I felt they were right so went ahead anyway. One of those is having my first child at a young age. I knew I would massively regret not having my baby so I found enough bravery somehow and now have an amazing 10 year old, and am married to her dad and had more children together. I’m so glad I made that choice. Just wanted to end on a positive