What is your biggest regret?

[Comfortablyconfused]

Not listening to my dad when he told me right before I got married, that I didn’t have to do it if I didn’t want to! I got divorced serval years later, and still feel guilty that my parents paid for a wedding that I knew shouldn’t have happened.

 

[ponyta]

Oh that's interesting. But I think those courses require A levels. I failed all of mine due to problems at home. I got into my degree course with my portfolio of artwork, it was an art course.

To be honest, they do require some kind of nvq/btec/a levels but they also look at what experience you have had too. There are access courses that are available which you will most likely qualify for funding for too. Don't want to come across pushy but just trying to provide options if that is something you are interested in x

 

[ponyta]

Not getting my degree. But it's quite a long story so feel free to skip lol.

In the second year of uni I was bullied by my tutors, to the point where I went to the head of year to complain about their behaviour. She was their friend irl and did nothing. I stopped going in, and failed my second year. I had 6 weeks to do extra work to make up the marks. I asked slightly less cunty tutor to tell me exactly what they needed, in bullet points. I did every one of these bullet points to the letter. Work came back with a lower score then before. I couldn't face repeating the year with those awful cunts so I left, fully intending to transfer to a different uni. There happened to be one running the same course near my house. I went to speak to them and was told that I would need to repeat from year one. I couldn't get finance for another 3 years, at the time, not sure if it's still the case, student loans would only pay for 4 years of education. Starting from year one again would be 5, and I had no savings or anything. So I withdrew and dropped out completely. I wish I had stood up to those bastards but in those days I was an extremely shy person. I wish there was a way I could get a loan and go back and do another degree.

Not sure if you are interested in doing an allied health care degree, you are able to get funding regardless of whether you have done a degree prior. Only condition is that you haven't already done an allied health care degree (if I remember correct). This can be anything from nursing, physiotherapy, radiography etc.

 

[ClemLikeFlem]

Getting married at 21, still being married now, 7 years later but absolutely miserable.
Not following my dreams.
Not saving money when I had the chance to.
Not saying goodbye to my grandma before she died.

 

[emmer_moans]

Being a complete goody-two-shoes teacher's pet melt when at school. I CRINGE when I think back!

Being religious and going to church for the sake of being religious like my family during my teen years and during uni, because I felt I should, not because I actually wanted to or enjoyed it.

Wasting disposable income on tat in my 20s.

 

[Hello Kitty]

The usual credit cards and spending what I didn't have at the time. I have paid half of it off now and still use the odd store card but I make sure I pay it before the interest is applied. Some days I regret the credit cards, some days I don't.

 

[MakkaPakka]

@Milehammer

This is an interesting read:

Love and regret: mothers who wish they’d never had children

Around the world, women are seeking an honest, open debate about what happens when you admit that motherhood isn’t everything you were told to expect

www.theguardian.com

I think it really helps to talk about it (I have with friends) to get away from feeling guilty. I did feel very guilty, especially as my sister was struggling to conceive (she has two lovely adopted kids now) and all she ever wanted to be was a mother and I was so ungrateful.

 

[sarahboo]

This is me. I’ve missed out on a lot of stuff because of body confidence and low self esteem. I said no to things I wanted to do purely because I hated myself. I still hate myself now so nothing’s changed. This has affected me since I was 12 and started going through puberty. I see people of all sizes living their life and wearing what they want and I wonder why I can’t feel the same

I am honestly so sorry to hear that, it really is such an awful feeling. Sending you lots of love

 

[Orange Creme]

2 years of taking anti depressants instead of working on the root cause cause of my anxiety/ depression.

Also I generally eat stuff and then regret it straight after because I eat impulsively without thinking.

 

[megsmagoo]

I feel like I wrote this comment???? I did the exact same thing. Did you finish 6th form in 2005? I had the exact dilemma. I ended up doing a course which was a total waste of time. But I made that choice on results day and moved away 2 weeks later. I stayed living away for 10 years!


This happened to me too. My only friend from a large group of friends at uni died 2 years ago and I don’t speak to anyone else. I have made the effort to contact people who I no longer speak to and they don’t bother responding so I assume it’s me. I personally think social media is to blame for this feeling. If I didn’t see them socialising with the same people, would I feel the same?

I feel this, social media has to blame for a lot of feeling like you don’t fit it, I wasn’t invited to a wedding of a guy who I’m not friends with but was in the group of friends I was in and it still plays on my mind now, I wouldn’t invite him to my wedding but still bothers me, it was over a year ago but in the city I live in

 

[Boredofthegram]

I would say exactly the same. My son is now six and it's been lovely to spend that extra time with him. Even though his back at school a couple of days it's just nice to be able to pick him up.

Yes mines back to school now but we had three months together which was lovely and after the break I don’t dread the school run anymore either, bonus!

 

[birdiefly246]

Mine is not having the physical energy to read a book or even watch shows I like. It comes from a dark period in my life where I felt so sad and so low I just slept and slept. Now I’m a million times better but I never, ever have any energy. We are a one parent family and I do work full time, and am learning to drive but I could easily do more. I could lean over and get my book but I can’t. And I have spent years beating myself up over it. I could have read a hundred books by now but instead I doze all evening and feel terrible.

don't beat yourself up about it! You're dealing with a lot especially at the minute and the books will still be there when you've got less on your plate and therefore more energy

 

[Annie101]

getting married

 

[LM1]

I feel like I wrote this comment???? I did the exact same thing. Did you finish 6th form in 2005? I had the exact dilemma. I ended up doing a course which was a total waste of time. But I made that choice on results day and moved away 2 weeks later. I stayed living away for 10 years!


This happened to me too. My only friend from a large group of friends at uni died 2 years ago and I don’t speak to anyone else. I have made the effort to contact people who I no longer speak to and they don’t bother responding so I assume it’s me. I personally think social media is to blame for this feeling. If I didn’t see them socialising with the same people, would I feel the same?

I am so sorry you lost your friend
I totally agree about social media, as its where I see alot of my old friends being together etc, I even see them all tag eachother in posts that remind them of the past or something and they don't even add me, it's like I wasn't there, might sound pathetic, I'm happy, I'm married with children but it still hurts a bit. I did come off social media for a bit, it was nice to have the break to be honest.

 

[Bobbleowl90]

I wish I hadn't had my son. He was planned and I was excited while pregnant (mostly). He was born prematurely and I wasn't prepared.
I didn't bond with him when he was newborn and now he's 13 months I love him and take care of him but don't experience that intense love that other mums talk about. Most days I find myself wishing I hadn't had him so I could do what I wanted. So selfish I know. I don't think I'm a mumsy person, I don't have any patience and I find it all so boring.

Sorry for oversharing but I haven't actually told another human any of this.

Please see your doctor or speak to somebody you trust. They can and will help you X

 

[Fairypop]

Another vote for uni, I regret going when I did. I went at 18 just because it felt like the “right” thing to do at the time. All my teachers/friends expected me to go, even though at the time I had doubts. I wish I’d listened to myself rather than everyone else! I didn’t have a bad time, I got a good degree, but I do feel like it was wasted & if I could go back now, I’d do an entirely different degree! Now I’m in probably about £50k worth of uni debt

 

[Begborrowsteal]

regret not being better with money, and regret not being more selfish & confident before kids!

 

[Alexi92]

I regret not having the self-confidence to have a circle of friends

I also know I will regret not having the courage to dump my current boyfriend even though I know we aren’t going to go anywhere.

 

[Keikochan]

I regret not going to proper college and getting a degree.

I also regret not changing my name and starting a new life.

 

[LittleMy]

Maybe not. You're right, it is really hard. She's fed / happy / loved etc, she'd never know how I feel.
You are definitely not to blame, I'm glad you know that.
I worry constantly about the future!

I think the mum guilt is very real. You have the basics covered and she’s happy and not being harmed, that’s all you can do. Don’t be so hard on yourself. The fact that you worry about these things at all means you’re a good mother. I doubt a bad mother would even bother, they’re usually selfish/narcissistic anyway.

What sort of things worry you about the future?

It's so easy to regret alot of things. Look forward things happen or happened for a reason xx

I really wish I could believe that, but sometimes shitty things in life just happen. No reason at all.