What is your biggest regret?

[JoeBloggs]

Sometimes I regret not trying harder with friends, people just don’t seem to want to stay friends. I was bullied at high school and it pains me to still see them as good friends.

I also regret not trying harder in my last year at uni. I ignored my tutors advice and got a 2:2 when I was predicted as 2:1. Mind it’s made no difference to my career

I regret not losing weight despite trying for the last 8/9 years.

 

[LittleMy]

I’ve got 3, and every day I feel like I’m failing at motherhood. I wish I had more patience. I have one with ASD and she drains the life out of me. I love them all fiercely. But I am exhausted by them. I wish I was better.

I know that feeling. I used to think I was a patient person until my child presented with ASD. Now my second baby is on the pathway to assessment. On the outside I’ve just been getting on with it but inside I feel heartbroken to be going through it all again with another child.

 

[BorisBear]

Getting married too young
Staying in a job just because money is good but I hate it
Putting up with my sexist boss’s comments everyday
Spunking all my money in my 20’s on booze & holidays
Not shagging around more
going back to work 4 weeks after I had my baby
Not being closer to my parents
Being a cheat in the past
not going to university

 

[chocolate choux]

I’m another one who regrets putting up with people treating me like tit. The amount of effort and time I wasted on people who wouldn’t piss on me if I was on fire

I regret having my daughter in the circumstances

I wish I’d been less passive with medical professionals during pregnancy and after my daughter was born. Often I think about how we could have gotten help sooner if I’d made a nuisance of myself. I’ve learned not to blindly have faith

It’s so easy to wallow so I try to remember things could always have been worse

 

[Gossipingoodforthesoul]

My biggest regret is walking out of the pub and never telling him how I truly feel
12 years of what ifs

 

[Fairypop]

Ah, thank you. It wasn't a pity post, I just genuinely don't think I am cut out for motherhood.

I feel the same sometimes, I think most mums do - if they’re actually honest. Children are bloody hard work. They’re incredible & so loved but god they are so TIRING.

 

[Branched]

Always doing what I felt I "should" do and getting sucked into the "right" way of going through life. Resulted in me studying a subject that I didn't really care for at uni but that everyone said was a sensible and useful option, then not swapping onto the course I actually wanted to do because it was a "waste of another year". Took a graduate job I pretty much hated (but was respected by others) for the same reason. Buying a house was my next goal because that's what society told me I should be doing.

I've now completely re-evaluated my entire life and I'm now placing my own happiness and actually living life above everything else.

 

[Pegsypog]

For me it was not spending more money on travels/clothes/fun stuff ten years ago.
I was always very worried for the future and be very sensible with money. I am now married and with a serious job and good amount of money but wish i had a bit less money and more memories!
I was born old

 

[Notothefakes]

I know that feeling. I used to think I was a patient person until my child presented with ASD. Now my second baby is on the pathway to assessment. On the outside I’ve just been getting on with it but inside I feel heartbroken to be going through it all again with another child.

I get this. My son has adhd and he exhausts me and reminds me in my actions daily how I’m failing him. Then I had s as daughter who shows no signs but we then had a surprise baby who’s a boy and I’m terrified I’m going to have to go through it all again . ADHD is more prevalent in boys in believe and I suspect my husband has it (he manages his well, is successful in his job etc) people say to me oh but now you know
What to look out for and I just want to cry but I don’t want to have to look out for it. My son is amazing, his perception on the world just amazes me daily how he sees things but he exhausts me and he can be violent. So I totally get you and sending you lots of hugs. You’ve got this even on the days you don’t think you have x

 

[LM1]

I regret always caring to much what people think. I'm not so bad now. I'm also the type of person who doesn't like to upset anyone and never think my ideas/problems/feelings are a big enough deal to be mentioned so just plod along.

 

[Red hair]

I wasted many years thinking my first love was perfect. Lost good people and potential relationships as a result.
Looking back now I can see it wasn’t a healthy relationship.
Finally starting to realise I was happy living in the past because there are no surprises, and now trying to live in the present.

 

[LittleMy]

I get this. My son has adhd and he exhausts me and reminds me in my actions daily how I’m failing him. Then I had s as daughter who shows no signs but we then had a surprise baby who’s a boy and I’m terrified I’m going to have to go through it all again . ADHD is more prevalent in boys in believe and I suspect my husband has it (he manages his well, is successful in his job etc) people say to me oh but now you know
What to look out for and I just want to cry but I don’t want to have to look out for it. My son is amazing, his perception on the world just amazes me daily how he sees things but he exhausts me and he can be violent. So I totally get you and sending you lots of hugs. You’ve got this even on the days you don’t think you have x

Thank you. It’s good to be able to chat with other parents going through similar things. I don’t know many other SEN parents. I totally get you, I hated that I kept watching my second boy and over analysing everything instead of enjoying the milestones when he was a baby into toddler, but I couldn’t help it. He presented so differently to his brother that for a while we thought he couldn’t be, until recently when we noticed certain behaviours were becoming more prevalent. He hasn’t been diagnosed yet but I just have that gut feeling he will be. Sending hugs to you too, it’s not easy but they are worth it.

 

[Welsh1]

I'm in my thirties and wish I'd have gone to uni, but I had no idea what career path or course to choose then and I'm still not sure now! I have felt for years that I wasted my a levels and always feel embarrassed when I see a good friend of mine, she was not as bright as me but knew what she wanted to do and worked really hard, she now has an amazing career and I know she thinks I could have gone somewhere if I had put my mind to it! I have a beautiful family and a wonderful life but I often think about this

It's never to late. I joined uni at the age of 28. I had a 2 year old, a full time job but felt I needed to do something educational again. I'm due to graduate this year with a 1st class honours (obviously delayed due to corona). Never to late, go for it.

 

[CrackRatcher]

Staying in my job because it’s the only hours that work around kids been in school.. I’m so unhappy it’s unreal..

 

[Welsh1]

Staying in my job because it’s the only hours that work around kids been in school.. I’m so unhappy it’s unreal..

I've been in this position before to. Finding a job that works around kids is just so hard. What sector do you work in if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Annie101]

getting married

 

[Barbs89]

It's never to late. I joined uni at the age of 28. I had a 2 year old, a full time job but felt I needed to do something educational again. I'm due to graduate this year with a 1st class honours (obviously delayed due to corona). Never to late, go for it.

Thanks and well done to you!

 

[Raininvain]

I think its not getting rid of certain people early enough. For some strange reason people have thought that they could talk to me how they wanted and got away with it. What I should have done was dumped them asap. Basically when I was younger I think I just wanted to be out all the time and with the in crowd so would put up with nastiness. Not anymore though, 1 nasty comment and they are out.
Its better to be on your own or with a couple of nicer people than with lots of users and verbally abusive types.

 

[Meh]

I try not to have regrets in fairness.

Went to Uni and studied a subject I don’t use in working life. However, having a degree has helped me progress in my current company and succeed with further study. I’m considering studying for a masters in my field or an undergrad (p/t) in engineering. So kind of wish I did engineering at uni BUT I 100% would have packed that in at 18/19.

My only real regret is being so shy and self conscious in my teens/early 20s. I genuinely thought I was ugly, unworthy, a freak etc. But I was not. At all. Have worked very hard on confidence, self love and assertiveness and I’m a very different person in my 30s. Which is great.

Just really wish I didn’t spend my teens and early 20s feeling so bleeping badly about myself. That’s the biggest thing I think youngsters (esp girls) need to be educated and coached on: loving themselves for who they are. I truly believe this would reduce the number of girls being taken advantage of and ending up with toxic or abusive partners.

Every woman is a Queen. And needs to own that power and not let (usually men) get the hooks in young and make us question our worth.

 

[Wishwash]

I have lots of regrets but one of my biggest ones is that in my early 20s after uni I started going out with a guy who was black. At the time I was friends with a really toxic group of people who just weren't pleasant but because we had been through uni together and worked in the same field I was really preoccupied with staying friends with them. They were all couples and very stuck up and were also very racist as became apparent.

Their constant digs and judgement meant I broke things off with him. Not saying he would have been the love of my life or anything like that, I mean who knows? But I am so angry with myself sometimes when I think about it that I let this horrible group of people influence me like this because that wasn't my opinion, or values. I'm Irish as well and they used to be so horrible about it I was basically the running joke of the group.

What I don't regret is "falling out with them"...the world didn't end and after a few months I realised duck them they were awful people. I often pay too much attention to what people think but this is my biggest regret that instead of just telling them to duck off I dumped this poor guy and he was lovely!!! And gorgeous! And I liked him! That should have been enough!

Please don't bash me I've done it enough to myself over the years!