What is your biggest regret?

[KateESJ]

This could be upsetting/triggering for some. I hope I don’t upset/offend anyone.

One I’ve started to come to terms with recently is cremating my son. I never considered burial and my ex and I never really discussed it but I regretted it for a while. I wanted him whole, when we got his remains it just felt so undignified and wrong. It wasn’t my boy, it was just a container filled with a substance I couldn’t connect with or even consider as having any relation to my child. He was a bright spark with a huge smile and so full of life. So far apart from what they gave me.

I have night terrors and for the first months after he died I had horrible ones about them giving me the wrong child in an urn, or them cremating him accidentally while he’s still alive. I’ve come to terms with it now and I’m comfortable enough with it but that was really tough to deal with for so long. I can’t even describe it but it’s crushing.

 

[bunsofsteel]

*Sorry if triggering*

Having an abortion at 17. I wanted to keep the baby but didn't feel like I'd have any support from my family and my boyfriend was petrified so we didn't tell anyone and I went alone to a clinic to have a surgical abortion. It was decades ago and still haunts me to this day. I know many people have abortions and don't regret them but for me it was the worst decision I've ever made.

 

[Pixipoppy]

You know what, this is going to sound mad - but I regret not going off the rails a bit more when I was younger. I never really had that “rebellious” phase and I was always very sensible and focused on getting good grades and not upsetting anyone! I just wish I’d been a bit more wild when I could get away with it. Bit embarrassing to be trying to re-live my youth at the age of 31

 

[annanuttall]

Not standing up for myself with a work bully. This person went mental at me and I just sat there and took it, I also ended up losing my job due to this person. Afterwards, I cried for 6 months every single day. It ruined my self-esteem and confidence. Looking back I should have stood up and said my piece, but I wasn't strong enough. It did teach me that I shouldn't let people walk all over me and to be more confident with myself.

 

[Londoncailín]

I wish I had gone to uni and got a job I love doing. But even to this day at nearly 30 theres nothing I really want to do.

I didn’t go to uni until I was 37. I’m graduating this year at 40. It’s never too late.

 

[LittleMy]

I regret so many thing.

-Letting people push me around as a child. I wish I was more confident.
-Staying in an unhappy relationship for way too long.
-Not saving money when I was younger, before I got married and had kids.
-Not bettering myself and settling for less than I probably deserve.
-Not being able to maintain a good social circle.
-Putting on more weight after having my second baby. I can’t seem to shift it now and I hate the way I look.

 

[Platypusfattypus]

Everyone is writing such beautiful and heartfelt ones. And mine is not having shagging the total ride I had a massive crush on for years but bottled it.

 

[michelle1990]

I regret not eating the rest of my big mac earlier, i’m starving.

 

[Motherofpigs]

Staying with my ex for so long (7 years), thus wasting most of my 20’s with that loser. We never went anywhere, basically went to work and stayed in the house and that was it. It is all working out though, I have met a new partner who likes to go out and do all the same fun stuff that I like to do and have lost some of the weight I put on when I was with my ex. So i guess things work out in the end.

 

[Tessiebear]

This could be upsetting/triggering for some. I hope I don’t upset/offend anyone.

One I’ve started to come to terms with recently is cremating my son. I never considered burial and my ex and I never really discussed it but I regretted it for a while. I wanted him whole, when we got his remains it just felt so undignified and wrong. It wasn’t my boy, it was just a container filled with a substance I couldn’t connect with or even consider as having any relation to my child. He was a bright spark with a huge smile and so full of life. So far apart from what they gave me.

I have night terrors and for the first months after he died I had horrible ones about them giving me the wrong child in an urn, or them cremating him accidentally while he’s still alive. I’ve come to terms with it now and I’m comfortable enough with it but that was really tough to deal with for so long. I can’t even describe it but it’s crushing.

I’m so sorry Hun. What a heartbreaking read
You chose what you chose under the worst circumstances imaginable.
please try not to be hard on yourself.
You son is always with you and you sound like an amazing mum.

I lost my little boy at 7 months pregnant last year. I did everything I could throughout a difficult pregnancy. I practically lived on the maternity assessment ward and was in constantly over any little issue. It was negligence by the hospital that ultimately led to his death. But I’ll always feel I didn’t do enough

 

[101d]

Not dumping my ex sooner. What a waste of time!

 

[coconochanel]

Ive said it once and I'll say it again No regrets they don't work they only hurt.

 

[Milehammer]

I wish I hadn't had my son. He was planned and I was excited while pregnant (mostly). He was born prematurely and I wasn't prepared.
I didn't bond with him when he was newborn and now he's 13 months I love him and take care of him but don't experience that intense love that other mums talk about. Most days I find myself wishing I hadn't had him so I could do what I wanted. So selfish I know. I don't think I'm a mumsy person, I don't have any patience and I find it all so boring.

Sorry for oversharing but I haven't actually told another human any of this.

 

[Welsh1]

Self explanatory in the title of this thread but I'm lying in bed tonight reminiscing and regretting a few things so I wondered what your biggest regrets are?

Mine is definitely not budgeting and saving in my younger years. I'm very different now and I'm a saver but I wish I hadn't spent so much money when I was younger on crap. I also regret giving so much of my time to certain people and wasting many years of my life in a way...

 

[hrh89]

Seems to be a recurring theme of uni regrets here For a lot of people myself included, I really do think 17 is too young to make that decision tbh.

 

[Bogwoppit]

Starting things & never following them through because I’m scared to fail & look stupid in front of others, I lack confidence terribly, others would shrug it off but it’s things like college courses or applying for a mortgage!

 

[eyeballs]

Getting married.

 

[Titntat]

I wish I had gone to uni and got a job I love doing. But even to this day at nearly 30 theres nothing I really want to do.

 

[LittleMy]

Staying with my ex for so long (7 years), thus wasting most of my 20’s with that loser. We never went anywhere, basically went to work and stayed in the house and that was it. It is all working out though, I have met a new partner who likes to go out and do all the same fun stuff that I like to do and have lost some of the weight I put on when I was with my ex. So i guess things work out in the end.

I’m glad you managed to move on and are happier now. Toxic relationships are the worst. That sounds a lot like what happened to me. Wasted 7 years (most of my 20s) with an alcoholic. He was never abusive, but our relationship was so toxic he dragged me down with him (not drink, but mental health wise). He never made the effort to spend time with me and chose his daft mates over me because unlike them I didn’t want every minute of my life to be about drink. He was unemployed a lot, never cleaned up after himself, just sat at home drinking or went to the pub while I was out working all hours in my very demanding care home job. I would come home from a 12 hour shift and just dread setting foot in the house because I knew I’d be spending the rest of my evening cleaning up his filth just to fall into bed and repeat for the rest of the week. I didn’t like the person I’d become when I was with him and I forgave anything because I loved him so much. The best thing I did was kick him out. I lost a lot of weight, became more adventurous without him, eventually met my now-husband and had my children who I adore. I’m just glad I never had children with him, it would have been so much harder to get away.

 

[Boredinstagrammer29]

My job. Hate it. Wish I’d got into something more creative or caring but just made a decision and stuck with it. Time to have a baby with other half so will be getting a bigger mortgage for a house & don’t feel like there’s time to look into something new and side step into something with same salary