TiffanyThinks #4 TiffanyDrinks

[DivineMystic]

Cancer Examination & Biopsy (under general anaesthetic)

In kitchen getting ready to go to the hospital, 5 a.m., didn't sleep well, a bit of tummy ache, didn't take any painkillers this morning, just sips of water. Her darling Matt has gone to see family, which she'd wanted to go. Just a couple of days, and he'll be back. She'll invite them over, just doesn't record all of that. Let's go, we got this, we got this. Amma didn't sleep at all too.

Still very dark outside, with light rain (repeat 2x). Parking car, difficult to find parking. Amma in burnt orange tshirt, and she in we got this tshirt and sweatshirt on top, link for purchase if you want. So tired, very dark outside. Thank you for TT fam, protect us all, Amen. We got this. Let's go, going through all the way to the main front entrance. Carrying overnight bag. It was hectic the last time, so this time will be kept overnight.

Rain and parking spots talk while walking in to hospital. Music on, and on, and on... ZZZZZ, snores, mouth opened, saliva dripping out, and we are back! Not gonna cry, some other surgeon is doing surgery, just shocked, why? I waited so so long for him. It's ok, no choice, I don't want to reschedule cos I've waited so long. Not surgery, just biopsy. In gown and stockings and underwear, anxious. Can't rely on 1 surgeon right, it'll be ok. It is what it is.

All dressed, talked to the other surgeon. I'm going in now. Love you so much, thank you. Not gonna cry.

Out, in recovery room, on morphine but not working. Keeping me in because of blood, the last time I don't know how I managed. Whenever you're alone, you'll always have me. In lots of pain, nausea, nurse gonna give her anti sickness med. Maybe too much morphine? Gonna move to ward. Did they put something on my hand? Really hope Amma is not too worried. Amma is here. What a day. Nothing to eat since last night, nearly 5 p.m.. Hopefully can eat sandwich and a cuppa tea. Throat fells dry, tea will be nice. Wonder when all results will be out.

So tired. Amma asked if she wanted a cuppa tea, she said she'll sleep for 5 mins. Button for morphine manually administered, anytime she wanted. They monitored so wouldn't OD. Tea, and egg mayo sandwich, but worried about eating egg as feeling sick. Tea tasted like hot water, should have brought her own teabag. Laptop with her so she could read comments. Amma and her slept. Amma will go home and come back tomorrow.

Just vomited, took a bite of plain potato, upset about vomiting. More anti sickness from nurse. Bum is very sore. Will see Amma tomorrow. Drive safe and slowly, bye bye. Not gonna cry (repeat 4x). Always try to be there for someone who is sick, try and help them through rough times. Thank you to those who are here for me, makes me happy to see you guys reply to each other. I just want you all to be together. Gonna take some more morphine. Told Amma to go home and rest. Have updated Matt as well, but didn't tell him too much, wanted him to enjoy, maybe better that I am not there. Took anti sickness med from nurse again. See you in another vid.

Subscribe, love, and out!

 

[justmakemoney]

Whenever we come on Tattle, I say we have to wear the TiffWhisperer Badge or a 50 Year Old Baby badge and if you want to get one, I've put the link in the comments below.

View attachment 1679063

And after you do that, buy tomorrow's newspaper for the hot front page story! I'm so grateful they featured my harrowing tale of abandoning my sick daughter to care about a sick Youtuber instead. There's a link to my GoFundMe on their website, where I hope to raise enough money to meet Tiffany in person someday... with my parents who make me feel cosy.

 

[PW212]

That sounds likely but is very disturbing. Every day matters with cancer. It’s a race against time to kill it with chemo and radiation, or remove it surgically, before cancerous cells move through blood vessels or the lymphatic system to another part of the body and start growing ( mets.) She is very lucky to live near the Royal Marsden which is internationally known for pelvic exenteration surgery.

Ok I feel really dumb that I didn’t get this until now: leaving out specific dates for the tests means people won’t know when to expect to hear how the tests went. Its impossible to know if this is to get people to watch vlogs that don’t provide information about the tests for days after the tests to be able to get more vlogs viewed, but I’m feeling suspicious that my (and others’) emotions are being manipulated to increase views. It is bizarre to me that someone with a deadly cancer that might kill them within 12 months would be thinking like that but I guess if this is a case of serious denial then maybe.

Don’t feel bad about not picking up on this earlier. Before going into the healthcare field, I got a degree in abnormal/forensic psychology and criminology. I see things differently in people sometimes and see the emotional pathology that may not be evident to most people. My skepticism was flagged early on with this one. I kept watching her mostly for the analysis on what is going on with her psychologically. The cancer journey is also of interest for me bc of my career in healthcare. She is a very complex person but not really when you break it down. I’m not diagnosing online but from what I suspect she has narcissism, low empathy for others, is a pathological liar, manipulative, mood swings and can be charming as well. Perhaps a borderline personality which is very difficult to treat. They are not at the level of sociopaths but are likely to not seek treatment. They can still function at work or school quite well. It may take time for others to figure them out. Her charm, beauty and seeming naivety often fools most people for a time. You see it in the cult viewers adoration of her despite the obvious manipulation. I feel like I’m back in school reviewing case studies watching her.

 

[ginnyw]

I can't believe..or maybe I can...that we are all still so totally unclear as to her current health status! I have to hand it to the girl - she's an expert at spinning out weeks and months of very little information. As for darling Matt - I actually have some sympathy for him and am quite glad that he occasionally goes away and keeps up with his own interests. He's a young guy, he lives with two women, one of whom never stops filming/gushing/exclaiming/shopping and is also worryingly unwell. I think he needs to keep some balance and perspective in order to not go insane or else get crushed by endless merchandise.

 

[PW212]

I think the vlogs lag one to two wks from when she filmed them. She likely has already had the scans and biopsy and she will release them slowly as she has always done. The secrecy, vagueness and confusion is deliberate. The delay is totally understandable since she doesn’t feel well but be honest about it. Editing etc takes some time if you are not well at times. Her viewers would understand but she would rather try to keep the truth hidden and continue with trying to appear well as much as possible. She is just not an honest person IMO.

 

[LeonorG]

If anyone thinks she's not manipulative after watching that video then you need to give your heads a wobble..I'll give her one thing she's playing the YouTube game better than people who have been on it many years.

She is spoilt rotten and never developed integrity. No 'normal' person would do what she does.

 

[Villanelly]

A comment of 23 hours ago, blocked deleted tick tick tick already, but still there before it disappears, here's what we are known as:
Tiff you should get solliciter to sue a cheap talk site and get your name and personal info off that site. Yesterday I read over there they crossed the line with a lot of things and should be ashamed of themselves for talking the way they do about you--especially you are sick and going through a lot. Please please Tiff get your brother in law to put pressure to remove your username from that site because you are too weak and have problems...this one is a problem too but maybe it can be solved by someone in your family or a friend. At least say something in your next video about that cheap site and that you personally say they should be ashamed of themselves because the talk is no good over there.

Cheap??? How very dare they!

 

[ladyt7087]

Well. Someone struck a nerve, didn’t they?

So can someone else please help me understand? Tiffany explained today that she really wants viewers to understand that there is so much more to her person than cancer, so she vlogs normal days, but titles them “Cancer term, cancer term” or even “BLOOD sand MUCOUS?” That seems like a very strange way to portray the normal, happy and good days. Me thinks she doth protest too much. Truth always finds a way. I would just appreciate and respect her much more if she would just say, “you know what, yes, I used ‘cancer’ in my titles because it generates more views,” but she can’t say that because anyone who would use cancer for that purpose…well that would be considered grossly immoral, would it not?

Now, I feel sorry for her because on top of this horrible illness, she has created a whole separate nightmare for herself via excessive social media use, and dishonesty with herself and/or viewers. If one is not careful, even social media can be an addiction (can we say, DISTRACTION) which very strongly and negatively impacts healthy coping.

Then there are the commenters. It’s a worship fest! It literally sounds like worship, and that is just plain weird.

This whole thing is becoming more than a little bizarre, and I expect it could get even more so in the coming weeks. Interesting to see the effects of group-think irrationality on a macrocosmic scale via YT. Pretty darn scary. Anyone that doesn’t have questions after the crazy happenings for the last 8 weeks has a serious deficit in the ability to think critically. And anyone who feels that people with questions or concerns or different opinions than theirs should be “canceled, deleted, tik, tik, tik,” will have a rude awakening coming for them when freedom of speech is completely stamped out.

I really enjoyed watching her, but something changed big time after she asked for viewers opinions and then got them. Now I will keep watching as a sort of social science research project of sorts.

So. Messed. Up. And that’s the macro level. I am EXTREMELY concerned for her well-being both mental and physical in the coming weeks. I hope I am wrong, I sincerely do.

Very well said. The posts on her channel now all sound like a cult. And they praise anything and everything she says and does. Once again, Tiffany has created a "straw man" by ranting about "people" who are forcing her to explain why she puts "cancer" in her titles when 99% of each vlog has nothing to do with cancer. Predictably, the cult then chimes in like a Greek chorus, chastising these mean "people". It's all SO absurd and, frankly, weird as ****. There is no longer any honest dialogue in the comments on her vlogs because she deletes anything she doesn't like and/or most people who questioned things or tried to give her good advice have simply given up. It's clear she only wants to hear from her adoring cult. What a strange symbiotic relationship now exists between Tiffany and her subs!

Wow, that first commenter was...viscious!!! Imagine BERATING a cancer patient for "irritating" her with how she's running her own channel and calling her "arrogant" and "stupid" and that she's "selling her cancer" and that if she keeps doing that it will "manifest" !!!! That's some cold blooded, inhumane f***ery right there! Wow! I hope s/he never gets cancer.

You sound like Tiffany or one of her cult-like subs.

 

[jackolantern]

Maybe Matt's brother got married, or parents had a big wedding anniversary, some other big family event. She had said she wanted/planned to go. Maybe that's what the shoes were for. If I was as sick as T I would genuinely want my SO to go and not miss important occasions. Life is uncertain.

Plus when she has the surgery this hospital visit will just be the tip of the iceberg. It's just an exam. And he's not a husband of 10/20/30 years.

But I agree with all the comments about family and those very ill in hospital. We don't go away for the weekend.

She is very ill though, plus she struggles very badly being alone. I don't know how he could make the most of and enjoy potential family occasions, if he knew how much his partner was scared, in pain and suffering without him. It's not just an exam, it's quite an invasive biopsy by the sound of it and she was very poorly last time, plus it's to help assist in finding out if she has become terminal. 2 years or 20, I think if you truly loved someone, you would want to be by their side during such an awful time.

 

[LeonorG]

Just saw a few seconds of it. She is complaining her surgeon is (was) not doing the biopsy and that she has been waiting for him so long. She knows what she is doing. There will be a lot of hate towards her surgeon in the comments yet again.

 

[GalaxyCake]

It's a great big mess and she's applying regular influencer tactics for social media to a life and death situation.

Yes this is the real issue and I agree with the other poster who said her desire to be social media famous is now turning into a nightmare. She's clearly been reading some of the negative feedback and it's getting to her. And it's forever out there in the public for friends and family to see. It would break Amma's heart if she knew and god knows what Matt would think who never wanted to be on social media in first place. She probably can't speak about this to either of them and it's bottling up inside. This is the dark side of social media fame, and people like her idol Zoella get loads of gossip as well. She must be aware that once you start the ball rolling it's very hard to take it back. This is probably causing a lot of stress and you can see the frustration and fear in her face in the last video.

The problem is that other influencers can handle it because they're not facing life threatening choices or physically in pain & discomfort all the time. They chose it as career choice and know that flogging some merch or a shameless bit of clickbait is just part of the job. The audience know this too so there's a weird unspoken agreement between the creator and viewer that this is ok. The problem is that in the GENRE of cancer journey channels, this sort of content is quite unusual. That's why she's facing a lot of pushback unseen with other channels, despite that fact that she's actually seems fairly likeable and sweet as a person. Health journey channels are sort of like a real life drama/medical show and that's why many are so compelling. Viewers get totally invested in the details and want real time updates. Channels like Jenny Apple, Krocks in the Kitchen, Romee Dussenbrook and the (incredible) PeeWee Toms did just that.

TT is basically a lifestyle channel by someone who happens to have cancer. It's reminiscent of the content cancer survivors will post after their treatment is over (eg Courtlizz, Blended Together/Vanessa LPZ). You know it's everyday stuff, with maybe 5% updates on a scan or something. That's totally ok if the expectation and delivery is mutual. The problem is that she's in an incredibly medically critical situation that many people are invested in and deeply rooting for her. However the content pointedly always skims around all that, under the guise of showing normal life outside of cancer. I honestly don't know where this will all go and truly hope the next set of scans bring good news so she can move on and become the full-time lifestyle Youtuber she wants to be.

 

[ginnyw]

I realise that I sound deeply cynical but I wonder whether she withholds good news as well as bad? Good news could lose her followers and therefore money.

 

[pooch&mutt]

I have many adjectives to describe Tiffany but out of all those, the main one would by “greedy”. She is so greedy and her love of money (surely not her love for her loving TT family that she does these videos!) is the root of all her manipulation and deliberate cover ups. She doesn’t realise that she is losing compassion in her viewers who can see through her games. Not feeling sorry for her. She is sick, mentally and physically and has a greedy heart.

imagine your life’s on the line and the first thing you regret is not buying a pair of shoes..and doing more shopping seriously..

 

[Heini]

I've had enough. Maybe she is uninformative on purpose to make money or maybe she has bad denial, or maybe little bit of both. But I'm out. I really don't want to see and follow channel like this. It's so disrispectful being invested in someone's journey to be just dragged along without proper and timely info for months now! Maybe she uses us to gain money or maybe this is inevital train accident we watch. But I don't feel connected to her journey anymore. And I do feel used, it's actually weird.

I've unsubbed Tiff today but will absolutely follow this thread. I love DM's summaries. Can I subscribe her!? Would like to buy a pin too as well as 50 years oli babys to support cancer research.

 

[ellyjelly2]

Agree with all that’s written above. All Tiffany needs to do is sit down and say…. What stage her cancer is, including what T4b stands for etc. where the tumour is ( draw a diagram), expkain gow it is invading other areas, say exactly what surgery the doctors are suggesting and what that entails. Thats it and for the love of God, just sit and say it without 10 minutes of intro saying the same thing over and over, not going off on irrelevant tangents, stoping to make tea and basically talking bollocks. Either vlog a cancer journey and explain it or keep it off line and quiet.

 

[BlockedAndDeleted]

I just don’t see how she could go from the position she was in, with 6-12 months and the most brutal surgery there is with only one person agreeing to even try it, to remission after no more treatment. Either she’d have had to lie in the first place and made it up how bad it is, which she didn’t because we’ve seen the letters, or she’s a modern day miracle which seems highly unlikely.

You don’t see how it’s possible because it’s not possible. People keep trying to inject ways to make it a thing, but it’s not. Like you said, it would have to be a lie, or a major misinterpretation from the beginning or now. I doubt this. The last oncologist said she’s stage four so that’s what I believe and it makes sense with the wait and watch, plus the lung concerns. I hate to be so gloomy, but I keep saying this over and over and as much as I want to have hope, I know how colorectal cancer is treated curatively and it’s only with surgery. Doctors don’t sit and wait for it to metastasize if it’s really stage III.

 

[jackolantern]

This is brilliant strategy, even at a time like this for her.



It is sad. Her mind is not in a good place, and her body is in a different place. She's not chasing hard enough for that mental health appointment, even if there is a waitlist. Not a priority for her at the beginning, and certainly not now. Might be too little too late.

She has enough money to pay for private counselling, so not that sad.

 

[Sheba]

I have been lurking around catching up for.a few days, so hello...

I've been trying - like everyone - to understand the medical angle.

I do think everyone agrees on some basic facts:

1) Tiffany has a lot of anxiety about the cancer, to the point that her mental health plays a part in selection of treatment.

2) T is a life long pampered, center-of-attention girl, which is why she aspired to be an insta princess before the cancer. Those around her catering to her and her needing other people to handle the hard stuff does not seem new.

3) T isn't actually brilliantly smart.

Combining these factors... she's just not going to figure out all the angles of treatment selection or even understand it in detail --- let alone explain it coherently.

It seems to me that thinking and knowing too much about her cancer works her up into a 'state' and makes her feel more ill. So probably Amma and Darling encourage her not to worry too much to just trust the doctors. [[[Then she went and asked the internet for real medical advice and got a deluge of it in detail from well-informed people, LOL i could almost feel sorry for her if i didn't want her to listen so badly!!]]]

Whereas in her day-to-dau, perhaps focusing on getting all this attention is the real, actual thing she enjoys in life and she just IS a shallow gal.

And the last thing we probably all agree on:

4) We'd really like to see Tiff get better, if possible even if

5) we find her super annoying, yet the camcer story is compelling.

[This is probably a good time to lower our expectations of her being rational, coherent, and logical, for our own happiness... reality isn't actually matching up. she's still got a rotten diagnosis and it's not looking super hopeful to me.]

I LOVE the summaries so i don't have to watch all that but can still get the dirt.

 

[ginnyw]

At this point she’s more intelligent then we give her credit for. She’s not bothered what us minority on tattle think. She’ll use her formula to keep the masses coming back.

To me, that's not intelligence. That's being manipulative.

 

[Ju19]

Thursday hasn't arrived here yet, but yes - what are we going to find out?

im such a plum i thought it was......Thursday