Tiffany Thinks #19

[Saydee]

Someone asked her in the comments recently about mental health and therapy. T responded that she is still on the waiting list. I think she could just pay for it herself instead of waiting for free counselling. She has the money. But I don't think she is up for getting mental health help. She would find it hard to open up. Even her opening up on camera is quite limited. She has these barriers that she cannot cross. It's like she is constantly stifling her feelings. I don't know, I could be completely wrong.

I don't know where T is being referred to for there to be a waiting list?
Myself and others told T there is a drop-in center called Maggies. They have them at most cancer hospitals throughout the UK. A kind of a drop in center where professionals are on hand to talk, listen, and just be there in general. Dedicated to cancer for patients and loved ones.

Maggie's | Everyone's home of cancer care

Maggie's is a charity that provides free expert care and support in centres across the UK and online.

www.maggies.org

 

[LeonorG]

I don't know where T is being referred to for there to be a waiting list?
Myself and others told T there is a drop-in center called Maggies. They have them at most cancer hospitals throughout the UK. A kind of a drop in center where professionals are on hand to talk, listen, and just be there in general. Dedicated to cancer for patients and loved ones.

Maggie's | Everyone's home of cancer care

Maggie's is a charity that provides free expert care and support in centres across the UK and online.

www.maggies.org

Yess I remember Nat mentioning Maggies and I saw people recommending it to her in the comments. There used to be great information in her comments before the block and delete thingy.
A friend was on the waiting list with the NHS and it did take months for her to see someone. It was general counselling and she said it wasn't urgent. I don't understand why Tiffany has to wait this long though.

 

[Turaj]

Someone asked her in the comments recently about mental health and therapy. T responded that she is still on the waiting list. I think she could just pay for it herself instead of waiting for free counselling. She has the money. But I don't think she is up for getting mental health help. She would find it hard to open up. Even her opening up on camera is quite limited. She has these barriers that she cannot cross. It's like she is constantly stifling her feelings. I don't know, I could be completely wrong.

the "waiting list" well if this surgery and mental status can't get you to some professional help I give up on that system. I know some of her family would make sure she had it thru private pay and organizations have been mentioned that are free.

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Yess I remember Nat mentioning Maggies and I saw people recommending it to her in the comments. There used to be great information in her comments before the block and delete thingy.
A friend was on the waiting list with the NHS and it did take months for her to see someone. It was general counselling and she said it wasn't urgent. I don't understand why Tiffany has to wait this long though.

i think a drop in concept like Maggies was a great suggestion for getting ready for the surgery and maybe later on but right now (at the time of the vlog and at home now) she needs some more specialized professional mental help coming to her. Here in US there are waits for such services but as mentioned they triage and doctors can get their more needy patients at least some help. I think she is still resisting any help rationalizing it by saying she has her YT fam and they are here support and basically she can just talk to them and no one can really talk back!!

 

[Lil_Brissy]

Does anyone have any idea why Tiffany refers to lines/tubes in her body as “wires?”

That has been driving me crazy too. Surely she is familiar with the correct terminology after all this time since her diagnosis and with all her hospital admissions to date? IV lines, drips, drainage tubes etc. Or leads. (The ones showing heart rate/rythmn for example.) And at one point during her most recent video her hair was all over her face. I can imagine how dirty and matted it must be after all this time in hospital. Unless the nurses washed her hair in bed. Maybe 'wires' sounds more painful.

 

[c.sabatier]

...
It's Tiffany's job as an adult and social being to know what is appropriate and what isn't. It's like relying on others to stop us each time we are behaving inappropriately ... Like @Saydee said they probably let her cause they wanted everything to run smoothly. I imagine the nurses didn't want the hassle and I understand them.
How do you know Tiffany only records during the visiting hours? Maybe she records at all times, we know how addicted she is to the camera.

When Tiffany seemingly first woke up, she was not recording during visiting hours because she was disoriented. That is in her first video post-operation. Recall that she asked where Amma and Matt were, then, after phoning them, realized that they were not there because it was not during visiting hours. Since that time, Tiffany seems to be doing the majority of her recording during visiting hours. Of course, I do not know for sure, so that is the answer to your question. As you said, she should know what is appropriate logically, and I believe she knows why visiting hours are established to begin with. If she were routinely recording outside of visiting hours, then, I think that would not be appropriate and hospital staff might speak to her about it at that point.

 

[Eddertillet]

That has been driving me crazy too. Surely she is familiar with the correct terminology after all this time since her diagnosis and with all her hospital admissions to date?

She says "they took the cancer out" and "they will check all the cells to see if there's cancer" and "tummy". She talks like a child.

 

[c.sabatier]

"What does the ECHR have to do with the European Union?

Nothing. The ECHR was launched by the Council of Europe. The Council of Europe is older than the European Union and not connected to it."

What is the ECHR and why does it matter? - Liberty

www.libertyhumanrights.org.uk

...
I think patients have an expectation of privacy whilst in the hospital and a right not to be concerned or to potentially have their images or voice(s)/private conversations in adjacent areas or medical information on charts or scheduling boards potentially captured, videotaped and broadcast over the internet by others without their consent.

Why should other patients/staff/concerned visitors have to be worried about this at a time of deep crisis in their own lives? No one is being cared for in this ward for a hangnail.

Thanks for the info on Europe vs. the EU with regard to that convention.

As for video-taping rights in one's own area, this obviously divides opinions. What you say is correct and I do agree with it, but, also, what about Tiffany's rights to tape in her own area? When there is such a conflict, people need to resort to following the rules established by the hospital itself. If the rules permit video-taping in one's area as long as other people's images are not recorded, then Tiffany is in her full right to be doing what she does, even if people think otherwise and if other conversations are recorded. (People could also speak in more muted voices so as not to disturb others as well.) If one is in an establishment that permits video-taping in one's area, then one needs to be aware that conversations could be captured as well, and speak in muted voices or just not say anything that one wouldn't want recorded. Of course, people have other, more serious concerns in the hospital. However, rules are rules, and if recording is permitted during visiting hours, one is in one's right to be doing so.

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Sorry but I don’t agree with you at all. Her filming on the ward with nurses and being followed with the camera was 1) stopping Tiffany actually getting on with it because she kept turning to talk to the person filming her and 2) it was causing more of a commotion than needed.

even when we are in our bay with the curtains closed we are very aware when stuff is going on outside the curtain. I really disagree with Tiffany’s behaviour at the moment and would not personally tolerate it.

remember patients in there are very unwell with a horrible disease and may not have the energy to speak up for themselves in these instances. Most patients have the understanding to not start talking on the phone when on a ward if I’m honest. I would never take a call on one, I think it’s unfair, there is enough noise going around without listening to someone’s chatter.

Your points are, of course, all valid. However, the nurses are all grown up, and could also kindly and politely have told Tiffany not to be filming at this or that time and/or place. If Tiffany's filming was so disruptive, it then should have been an obligation for the nurses to restore order, don't you think?
You are also completely correct when you say that patients may not have the energy to speak up, which is yet another reason why nurses who feel that filming is disruptive should be making sure all rules are being followed.
What you would do in such a situation is very noble, but, not everyone will act in the same way. That is why rules are established, and people do need to be following the rules while also being able to exercise their rights. If rules need to be changed because people are complaining, then rules should be changed following the proper channels to avoid arbitrary decisions by the staff.

 

[Turaj]

Thanks for the info on Europe vs. the EU with regard to that convention.

As for video-taping rights in one's own area, this obviously divides opinions. What you say is correct and I do agree with it, but, also, what about Tiffany's rights to tape in her own area? When there is such a conflict, people need to resort to following the rules established by the hospital itself. If the rules permit video-taping in one's area as long as other people's images are not recorded, then Tiffany is in her full right to be doing what she does, even if people think otherwise and if other conversations are recorded. (People could also speak in more muted voices so as not to disturb others as well.) If one is in an establishment that permits video-taping in one's area, then one needs to be aware that conversations could be captured as well, and speak in muted voices or just not say anything that one wouldn't want recorded. Of course, people have other, more serious concerns in the hospital. However, rules are rules, and if recording is permitted during visiting hours, one is in one's right to be doing so.

I can't even really speak to these "rights" and try to deal in common sense. It is hard for me to imagine a situation where I or a family member in this situation would be pulling out a camera to film. We just don't think like that. I am probably older than many here...don't think of life in terms of an IG moment or topic for a YT channel. No matter what rights she has or does not have she will continue to film.

 

[c.sabatier]

I can't even really speak to these "rights" and try to deal in common sense. It is hard for me to imagine a situation where I or a family member in this situation would be pulling out a camera to film. We just don't think like that. I am probably older than many here...don't think of life in terms of an IG moment or topic for a YT channel. No matter what rights she has or does not have she will continue to film.

Personally, I have never taped anything in any type of medical establishment, nor would I think in terms of 'Kodak moments' in critical or intensive care units. However, I do see the need to have clear rules established and the patients clearly informed of these rules. In fact, if there are restrictions to filming, perhaps patients should even sign a sheet saying that they are aware of the rules, with infractions of these recording rules resulting in confiscation of their recording devices for the remainder of the duration of their stay in the hospital or for 24 hours, for example. That should keep people in line! Down with fluffiness, and in with rules!!

 

[ladyt7087]

Is no-one finding what she said around the 10:38 mark weird?

She says, 'you know what I'm like, I don't really talk to any-(she stops mid sentence), I like talking to my tiffany thinks family'. Imagine being close friends or even extended family who have helped and been concerned for her(who's she's shown on videos too) and she goes onto say that I don't talk to anyone much and I trust thousands of strangers on the internet to comfort me. This might even be a lie so she can make the people gullible enough to give her money and buy her merch etc to feel special and like they share this really close connection with them - which they actually don't. Tiffany keeps a distance from her followers and only accepts 'good' comments

She goes on to say it's because she doesn't like to complain to those around her and likes talking to the TT family the most (imagine hearing that as Matt, her mum, her friends haha). But, I suspect it's more that the people irl including the doctors, friends, extended family remind her the gravity of her situation and ask questions which she can't dodge and block out and say tune in next time(probably why she stops talking to them or doesn't talk to them about it in the first place). Yet to the thousands of nameless people who she is showcasing exaggerated and grief stricken thumbnails to hook them in so they can pity and feel sorry her and just validate and provide her with comments which she can control are her true supporters and who she feels she can be herself around.

Either this is all a lie to create this false sense of close connection or we're seeing someone with a severe mental illness here.

I agree. I've said many times how weird her YT obsession is and how pathetic that she's addicted to speaking to a camera, with thousands of strangers watching it at a later time. I think T does have serious mental issues, as do a hefty % of the Dolt Cult.

 

[c.sabatier]

While on the subject of filming and rules...The airline industry (or, each country) has divided standards on filming within airplanes. In the US, one routinely sees videos taken within the aircraft oftentimes of unsightly behavior of people and sometimes airline staff on various social media platforms.
However, on board Air France and KLM Dutch airways, filming people without their explicit consent is against the rules, and filming airline staff is also against the rules. One can film or photograph the views from the window, but not within the cabin because it would entail filming passengers. I have witnessed Air France flight attendants enforce this rule by reiterating it to a passenger who was filming the view outside the window.
On that note, maybe Tiffany had been politely reminded by a nurse to be careful not to film other patients.

 

[ladyt7087]

Oh yes, I think there is, and of course if you watch influencer videos as a potential influencer yourself, you pick up their style, so it's all a bit self-fulfilling. The thing that always jars with me is that hand thing when holding something up to the camera (usually a mascara of something), where they cup their hand behind. I know WHY they do it but it's learned behaviour . And I have also realised that there is a phenomenon that is exploited by YTers (and I suspect it'swhy shopping channels are so successful), where if a product is given video time, it immediately becomes a 'must have', even if you never considered needing the damn thing. I can say quite categorically that have resisted Tiffany's merch, but I did look at that blender thing before having a word with myself

I have the blender. Love it. I got it as a birthday gift, months before T "discovered" it. It's great.

---

I will have to take your word on the lip balm observation since I did not see it for myself. If I watch any more of her videos, it will only be if TL members recommend it or if I feel I can no longer participate here in any substantive way.

I've forgotten what she was like around Tiroy, if she put on the same baby mannerisms.

Interestingly enough, I watched a few different videos of other YTers who have a significant following, some nonhealth YTers. I see the point @Saydee and others have been making, I see the same 'influencer' cinematic methods being employed, ie, the closeup of the coffee mug filling, the cutesy music for family time moments. There must be a YT handbook out there about tips for including filler material into videos. Tiffany's are no different or unique in these ways, I see. I know it must be obvious to others more savvy, I should have been after reading about them here on TL. I suppose seeing the same ol' same ol' elsewhere really made it real that there's a tried and true "formula" that YTers learn.

I hate, hate, hate the coffee cup filling clips in YT vids. It's just so affected and fake. Doesn't give me the warm cozies at all. Same with the hand cupped behind a product they are selling.

 

[ScrattyRatty]

I have the blender. Love it. I got it as a birthday gift, months before T "discovered" it. It's great.

Lol, I did check it but I don't drink smoothies, so the only use I would have is crushed ice for cocktails . I do, however, have an airfryer (two in fact) and would not be without them. I've had one for years, we were well ahead of that particular curve!

 

[ellyjelly2]

She says "they took the cancer out" and "they will check all the cells to see if there's cancer" and "tummy". She talks like a child.

I know, she’s an educated thrifty year old woman who has bought her own house and held down a good job! There is no way she’s this child like.

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I know, she’s an educated thrifty year old woman who has bought her own house and held down a good job! There is no way she’s this child like.

Thirty!!! Bloody auto correct

 

[jenh526]

Is no-one finding what she said around the 10:38 mark weird?

She says, 'you know what I'm like, I don't really talk to any-(she stops mid sentence), I like talking to my tiffany thinks family'. Imagine being close friends or even extended family who have helped and been concerned for her(who's she's shown on videos too) and she goes onto say that I don't talk to anyone much and I trust thousands of strangers on the internet to comfort me. This might even be a lie so she can make the people gullible enough to give her money and buy her merch etc to feel special and like they share this really close connection with them - which they actually don't. Tiffany keeps a distance from her followers and only accepts 'good' comments

She goes on to say it's because she doesn't like to complain to those around her and likes talking to the TT family the most (imagine hearing that as Matt, her mum, her friends haha). But, I suspect it's more that the people irl including the doctors, friends, extended family remind her the gravity of her situation and ask questions which she can't dodge and block out and say tune in next time(probably why she stops talking to them or doesn't talk to them about it in the first place). Yet to the thousands of nameless people who she is showcasing exaggerated and grief stricken thumbnails to hook them in so they can pity and feel sorry her and just validate and provide her with comments which she can control are her true supporters and who she feels she can be herself around.

Either this is all a lie to create this false sense of close connection or we're seeing someone with a severe mental illness here.

Yep, I was thinking about this very thing this morning. This whole schtick about “I can’t talk to my family, I have to put on a brave face for them”, I just don’t buy it. Like none of them ever watch her videos to know she’s saying that about them? I would be insulted if I were them, if that were true. But I think they’re all in on it. There might be something good behind it, like maybe this is her way of financially contributing while she can’t work a standard job. But that she’s insinuating that her “loving Tiffanythinks family” is more important to her than her real family? No way.

 

[Saydee]

My thoughts.

I think recording and picture taking is fine in wards such as maternity where mums and dads are recording babies first days. Mum & dad holding baby and sending texts and images to family that are unable to attend.
In wards where patients share their 'space' with other patients who are often unwell? I think there is a time and a place. Day time during visiting hours in a low quiet voice? I don't see an issue. Out of visiting hours and at 2am in the morning? If I was on that ward I would be asking T to let others get some sleep.
Yes there are 'privacy' curtains around beds, but the privacy goes as far as not being able to see others. You can hear everything! A ward doctor doing his round with the patient in the next bed? Yes you will hear everything, why they have been admitted, what the intended plan is. You end up being discharged home knowing quiet a lot of other peoples 'business'.

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Yep, I was thinking about this very thing this morning. This whole schtick about “I can’t talk to my family, I have to put on a brave face for them”, I just don’t buy it. Like none of them ever watch her videos to know she’s saying that about them? I would be insulted if I were them, if that were true. But I think they’re all in on it. There might be something good behind it, like maybe this is her way of financially contributing while she can’t work a standard job. But that she’s insinuating that her “loving Tiffanythinks family” is more important to her than her than her real family? No way.

I would be gutted if my husband felt he couldn't talk to me, but did feel comfortable recording and publishing to youtube. I of course would watch his videos and raise these subjects directly with him. Although, in fairness, she doesn't really divulge much does she? In the video where she said that she told Matt and Amma that recording is "her thing", we have to wonder why she is telling them that? Are they asking her about it?

 

[Eddertillet]

Before her surgery she said there will be no updates because "i can't ask Matt and Amma to update, they don't know how" but now we see videos that Matt or Amma filmed without Tiffany even knowing about it. So they could do that, but couldn't post a comment on youtube to say that she's ok?

 

[Turaj]

Before her surgery she said there will be no updates because "i can't ask Matt and Amma to update, they don't know how" but now we see videos that Matt or Amma filmed without Tiffany even knowing about it. So they could do that, but couldn't post a comment on youtube to say that she's ok?

yep not a quick update on IG which Elodie is a master of..... but filming by Matt and Amma to keep the video releases coming when TT can edit.

 

[c.sabatier]

My thoughts.

I think recording and picture taking is fine in wards such as maternity where mums and dads are recording babies first days. Mum & dad holding baby and sending texts and images to family that are unable to attend.
In wards where patients share their 'space' with other patients who are often unwell? I think there is a time and a place. Day time during visiting hours in a low quiet voice? I don't see an issue. Out of visiting hours and at 2am in the morning? If I was on that ward I would be asking T to let others get some sleep.
Yes there are 'privacy' curtains around beds, but the privacy goes as far as not being able to see others. You can hear everything! A ward doctor doing his round with the patient in the next bed? Yes you will hear everything, why they have been admitted, what the intended plan is. You end up being discharged home knowing quiet a lot of other peoples 'business'.
---
I would be gutted if my husband felt he couldn't talk to me, but did feel comfortable recording and publishing to youtube. I of course would watch his videos and raise these subjects directly with him. Although, in fairness, she doesn't really divulge much does she? In the video where she said that she told Matt and Amma that recording is "her thing", we have to wonder why she is telling them that? Are they asking her about it?

Your views are reasonable!
I was thinking about private patient information being able to be heard beyond the confines of one's curtains before the issue about filming was being discussed here. From a patient's perspective, it is probably unnerving to lose the privacy of one's medical information.

I wonder if Matt or others in her family watch her videos and do raise various subjects with her. Maybe Tiffany makes these types of videos to avoid having to repeat over and over again about her hospital experience to everyone in her family and her friends: Tiffany could just tell people to watch her videos if they are interested, but that she doesn't want to talk about it because it would bother her to repeat the same things to different people. This way, her videos do her a real service because people might not ask as much about her hospital experience. Even if they do, she could just refer them to her videos.

Finally, about Tiffany being more 'comfortable' crying to the nurses or saying things to strangers than in front of her own family: This may be a cultural issue. It could be that depending upon how someone was raised, that person feels, or doesn't feel, like sharing his/her inner thoughts and emotions with close family members.

 

[Sheba]

Ugh. Shenanigans.