This whole thing made me really quiet emotional. I have had multiple miscarriages and a complex pregnancy with my little girl. I one hundred percent wanted to bring home a healthy baby, it was the hope that kept me going through my pregnancy. And when asked would I change things for her, if it were possible I would definitely. Not to make her “normal” but I would do anything to take away her being so distressed and so poorly, all the tests etc. But I love her so fiercely. And of course I wouldn’t change having her for the world. All I can do is love her with every part of me and do everything I can to make things the best for her.
If I were to be pregnant again I would hope for a healthy baby. And I would not begrudge a single other person for wishing the same. It’s natural maternal instinct. It doesn’t take away any amount of love I have for my daughter. And as for other people saying, it stings but they don’t know and I don’t think they can be blamed, we can only try and explain why it thats not helpful, but know that’s usually the last thing on anyone’s mind. It’s a really tough situation.
It’s like when you experience losses, all you see is newborn babies and all you hear about are pregnancy announcements and you can’t muster an ounce of joy for them but then feel guilty for feeling bitter. It’s so crappy and complicated and K has a way of making
Things over simplified and divisive. And I don’t doubt she knew what she was doing.
The same with the oncology ward comments. It was just about soft furnishings. I do understand the sentiment of all wards should have fantastic facilities. Of course. But people are crappy. We were told people regularly steal things from the wards like playstations and TVs etc. And I know Many families who fundraisers for paediatric oncology wards either as thank yous for care and/or memorials. If K was that bothered she could quite easily set up a fundraiser for the picu or other ward she favours for some upgrades. But she won’t, she wants all the money for herself. She just wants to be seen to be talking “for the people” and highlight “inequalities” but she doesn’t want to naff all about it.