The Tim Tracker #86 Loser, Boozer, and Toddler Snoozer

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"Sorry sir, He's 23 years old"
I love how Tim keeps saying “Jackson would be like Rapunzel if we waited until now for his first haircut”

false…his hair would be just about past his shoulders. When our son was nearly 3 that’s how long his hair was…

He hasn’t had a haircut since he was born but we’ve always liked it long and since he’s been able to make the choice we’ve asked him “would you like a cut?” and he always says no…he saw me donate like 8-10 inches of hair to locks of love and now he wants to do it too…
 
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Why in the fuck are these weirdos crying about an average child getting a fucking haircut?!?!?!?! Is there a help line we can call?!?!?!




 
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It shows how much they really don't know about anything, my hair was always fast growing an I was about 5 or 6 before it was past my butt an around 8 or 9 before it was past my knees, then one day I was like oh hell nah an got it cut to above my shoulders

That's sweet he wants to grow an donate his hair as well
 
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Hans wants to go thank Tinkerbell for the glitter, so we are taking him to a damn statue instead of doing a meet and greet.
To be fair to the Slackers, the Tinker Bell Meet and Greet hasn't come back yet.

Then again I think it's more or less them not knowing that, and figured why wait for a M&G when you can just wave at a piece of metal.
 
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So let me get this straight, because I haven't watched yet--they got all this hoopla, being first, the singing and they still tried to get the first haircut shenanigans? Because, that wasn't good enough?
 
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My kiddo has his moms super slow growing hair. He’s turning 7 and it’s just now at about the top of his hips.
He’s a sweet boy. He’s got a little friend who has cancer and asked if he could give her his hair…
 
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They're probably so bitter about not getting the first haircut package they're more motivated to pop out another spawn to get it. Life doesn't always go your way, you freaking turds. You move on.

Like seriously, if you're that bitter about not getting the "first haircut" package, you need to go rub your face all over your stupid dead grass outside.
 
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Jenn describes the walking taco as refreshing

holy shit this bitch cannot get any more ridiculous at this point
 
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I like how J$ slaps his egg donor's tit when he wants her to put him down. He can probably smell whatever leftover food and grease is stuck in her cleavage. "Put me down you foul-smelling wench! Back to the stables you go!"
 
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“Oh my goodness “, spoken in Jenn’s Whiney voice . For the life of me I cannot understand these creepy stans crying over this kid getting a fucking haircut. I’m an emotional person, but this is beyond weird.
 
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Dim seems surprised there's three chairs? Then the CM is telling him to climb on the chair that already has the booster seat on it and Dim the idiot at the same time is saying "You get to pick whichever chair - oh well I guess you get to pick this chair."

JUST STFU and let the CM do the talking instead of coming up with your continued "Hans the golden buddy is the bestest most precious handsomest smartest brattiest toddler in the world" narrative.

“Oh my goodness “, spoken in Jenn’s Whiney voice . For the life of me I cannot understand these creepy stans crying over this kid getting a fucking haircut. I’m an emotional person, but this is beyond weird.
Yeah, I can cry quite easily, but apparently I'm a dead soul when it comes to this generic wonder boy of theirs. I don't even cry over my nephews getting their hair cut, does that make me a bad person?
 
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Hey look at that, the Buddy had some fruit for lunch. The grape jelly in the uncrustable counts, right?
 
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My kiddo has his moms super slow growing hair. He’s turning 7 and it’s just now at about the top of his hips.
He’s a sweet boy. He’s got a little friend who has cancer and asked if he could give her his hair…
Awww bless, what a sweet little guy, you know you are doing parenting right when you raise a kind sweetheart

And they stans crying over some strangers kid getting his haircut for what's prob the 3rd time now is just weird, I won't even be there for my neices first haircut when it's time an I sure as hell won't be crying over it when I see her either
 
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Hey look at that, the Buddy had some fruit for lunch. The grape jelly in the uncrustable counts, right?
Too bad Dim stuffed all the supposed fresh fruit in their house into his various holes before they left on their "trip". It would totally not make any sense to pack some of that fruit up to bring as snacks into the park. It's not like their fancy-schmancy hotel room even has a fridge!!

Ginn: "wowowowowoww buddy you even get a special cushion and everything?"

It's a fucking booster seat you useless blob. But yeah, I guess the other poor children have to just sit in the seats without a "sPeCiaL cUsHiOn" unlike His Royal Buddyness.
 
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I hope to raise a kind sweetheart who also stands his ground when people are being dicks…it’s a delicate balance. He’s a really good boy and no internet strangers cry over him daily…thank you for your compliment
 
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