The Tim Tracker #164 If the Christmas tree was a slice of pizza, it'd be gone by now!

[fiveleggedgoat]

Who is Jenn pretending to be with this fake-ass set up? Is she pretending she is editing? While reading a novel?

I don’t know, I think she always has her computer open pretending to be working, while simultaneously having Bravo on or reading.

This justifies pushing her kids off onto someone else, while she’s pretending to be Carrie Bradshaw or some other woman with no family or responsibilities.

 

[xmasbdaygirl]

Mike, Double Dose, some other woman, grandparents, Tim and Jenn, Jim and Nicole. I think maybe someone else or a couple was also there and wasn't shown in the trivia segment. There is an empty blanket.

Yea, so if Jenn doesn't talk to them anymore, in her memory, they weren't there. She's a bleeping witch.

60 people is stupid for a 1st birthday, but I'm still going to say she's lying and they don't even know 60 people. And the party planner has to come out to see if they can even fit 60 people at their house? And too bad, because I already invited them. What she was saying there didn't even make any sense at all. She's a bleeping liar. Just like there were 6 or 7 people at J$ party and it sucked. She bleeping lies for no reason at all.

 

[Quasimodo]

They both pretend they only go to Publix on Sunday. And every day that ends in "y", but okay.

Maybe by the time Dim has his 45th birthday, he'll know how to use a fork. And be brave enough to go on a cruise where there is no Mickey or Donald butts to lust after. LOL, yeah right.

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Yea, so if Jenn doesn't talk to them anymore, in her memory, they weren't there. She's a bleeping witch.

60 people is stupid for a 1st birthday, but I'm still going to say she's lying and they don't even know 60 people. And the party planner has to come out to see if they can even fit 60 people at their house? And too bad, because I already invited them. What she was saying there didn't even make any sense at all. She's a bleeping liar. Just like there were 6 or 7 people at J$ party and it sucked. She bleeping lies for no reason at all.

I think she's gotten to the point where she can't distinguish between what is actually reality and what is her pretend housewives reality show in her head. She hates her mom life so much though, that much is true.

 

[Southpaw33]

And let's be real, a baby's first birthday is mostly for the parents. The kid won't remember any of it. Most parents want the picture moments like the smash cake, the child 'opening' a gift, family members holding them, some fun games and moments. I would DETEST a giant "posh" picnic party for 60 people, most who don't even know my baby, and feel so full of stress and anxiety ( Right, Jenn?). Who wants that on a day that should be fun and relaxing? One day in the future Jenn will say how she feels bad O's bday was so hectic and they didn't get to enjoy all his special moments because so much was "going on, you guyzzz..."

 

[Quasimodo]

Also, WTF is a "homemade haircut"? You don't MAKE a haircut, you dumb witch.

 

[2020planner]

Also, WTF is a "homemade haircut"? You don't MAKE a haircut, you dumb witch.
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This reminds me of when Woo said he "grew" a moustache after simply shaving all the hair off his existing beard with the exception of creating said moustache.

 

[Quasimodo]

Why does she look like she wrestled a tasmanian devil instead of just giving a nasty kitchen floor haircut to her kid?

Let's hope "Christina the best friend" is not also her stylist.

 

[littlejim1]

Party is a re-do for Jackson with Jacksons schoolmates younger siblings?! Like what talk about debbie desperado for friends. Who tf needs a party planner for babys first birthday? And the fake "vegan" healthy meals after gorging your face off on 5-10 burgers. Girl is a walking lie

 

[fiveleggedgoat]

The hair cutting part was bleeping scary!

Jackson was squirming and jumping all
Over the floor, while Jenn had her office scissors pointed directly at him, while shouting numerous times “wait! Wait! Wait!!!” And Tim “ hold still! Hold still! Hold still!”

Put the kid in a chair, put a towel or cloth around him, get hair cutting scissors and for fucks sake, YouTube how to cut hair!!! Hold the hair your cutting between your pointer and middle finger to prevent stabbing your child in the eye or ear!!

This part should be titled how not to cut children’s hair.

 

[littlemuv]

Is this posh picnic for da baby’s birthday? I thought they were hiring a petting zoo to come to the house?

 

[Southpaw33]

Is this posh picnic for da baby’s birthday? I thought they were hiring a petting zoo to come to the house?

It could be a posh petting zoo.

Potato'sMommy could bring Potato. Celebrity petting zoo! I am sure Potato would love 25 kids petting him.

 

[Forest]

60 people is too many people for their house. Even with the yard. They don’t have the seating for that. They need to rent tables and tents for 60.

She’s so over the top. Just have the grandparents and cousins over for a 1st birthday. Smash a little cake, take cute pictures, done.

 

[littlemuv]

It could be a posh petting zoo.

Potato'sMommy could bring Potato. Celebrity petting zoo! I am sure Potato would love 25 kids petting him.

I hope the zoo keeper doesn’t accidentally take Jenn away with the other pigs in the petting zoo

 

[nevinsmommy]

You don't need 60 bleeping people at a 1st birthday party or feel "bad" that Oliver doesn't have any "baby friends" to invite so you're going to invite your older kid's classmates and their siblings??!?!??!?!?!?!? Say what!??!?!

Sounds like a gigantic gift grab to me. Yay, more junk for Fort Pampers!

 

[PistachioNut]

Yeah, apparently she brought one of her books to some vegan cafe she wanted to try and left the book there. She said she called and they had put it in their book library. I don't buy for a second she was reading that book while stuffing her face with food. She just brought it in to be seen with a book and be a "vegan who reads a book in a vegan cafe." All of her new interests are based on this BFF now.

In the video she says she didn’t read the book while there. Claims she was editing instead.

 

[FreckleFart90]

This right here is why J$ hasn't had his ear tubes done. They have a lot going on and are jam-packed and they have another trip coming up, soon it seems. They are too bleeping busy to get their kid out of pain and off antibiotics. Assholes.

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I haven't reached that part yet, but I'm going to again take a guess and say she's cutting her own kid's hair because he's been asked not to return to the hair salon? Jenn, maybe get your kid evaluated. I know you are so bleeping busy feeding your faces but the kid needs some sort of therapy to help him manage his sensory issues.

“Mom, can I have a glass of water”
is the first thing that popped into my head when I saw how Dim is crouched down

 

[Dillon21]

It is called Jersey Mikes not New Jersey Michaels. You of all people Jennifer should know your resturants as you seem to like to eat everything that is put in front of you.

 

[airbusA330]

Oh holy hell, she is not cutting her kid's hair on the kitchen floor and just discarding the cut hairs directly onto the floor. No towel, no napkin to catch the hair, no towel around the kid's neck, she's just putting it on the floor. The bleeping kitchen floor. Which we know doesn't ever get cleaned. The same floor where they sit and crawl and play. These people are absolutely crazy.

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Next vlog: Buddy’s first blunt eye trauma!

 

[Tiredofeverything]

New thread time The Tim Tracker #165 "Good afternoon from Universal Orlando!" Hosted by SeaWorld