Sarah is right. I am just a jealous hater.
I was so sad when I woke this morning to find my husband, who has normal textured skin and only wears wool hats during winter, had slept soundly next to me all night and hadn’t woken me up in the early hours sneaking about messaging young women, was in the en-suite with the door closed so I couldn’t see him on the toilet
My kids woke up and put on their clean uniforms, excited to spend another day with their pals. As I walked them up to school, I could hear birdsong and not much else.
I got home and I thought, god damn. I wish my husband had sallow waxy babybell skin, and wore a greasy hat every second of the day, I wish I could wake up and see him on the toilet. I wish my kids were home all day in unwashed clothes, with no social contact with anyone else except me and the cashier at b&m, colouring in sheets I’ve printed off the internet. and I wish when I opened the windows I could hear endless motor way traffic.
You’re a very lucky woman Sarah , I wish I was you so much.