The Chateau Diaries #80 Kaboom! The dutch boyfriend is outed.

[Jikki2]

Congratulations to Stefanny and her Dutch Boyfriend Phileep!

Also, smack my ass and call me daddy! I've gone house hunting and I'm taking applications for a trophy wife who will be bearing my 2.4 kids in record time. (As promised in my previous post.)

I had a nice run as a single gay man and my last party was a memorable one at La Demence where I also run into the Rengifo bros. I can say that "being asked to leave" came as news to Andrew.

I'm taking the news about the happy couple of Lalalande with a tiny pinch of salt, though, as the information is from the production company that can't even spell Stefanny's name right. However, I'm especially delighted how this will rock the world of some of the superfans.

I can't understand why Stefanny hasn't kicked her utterly useless Pandemic Pet to the curb at this point. I wouldn't tolerate such incompetent little tit even for a day. She must have a thing for being the teacher in bed. On his own, Support Squirrel couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

 

[Clara Burnett]

and a confirmation that some Tattlers have been right all along.

I am not at all gloating and will keep my 'told you so's' to myself, but am over the moon that my eyes and ears once again did not let me down.

 

[dumbblonde]

 

[Clara Burnett]

I've been hoping he would leave the chateau verse for so long now and I doubt it'll happen anytime soon now.

On the contrary! Now that it's out in the open the end will be so much sooner, trust me. Her patrons may fall for her bullshit as they tend to do, no questions asked but having lied about it to her most loyal fans in public, and by doing so forcing them to deny all gossip about the two, will cost them dearly. And the kind of relationship they are having would only work if it's kept out of the vlogs, which will not work because this is not something that viewers will forget about. Each and every person I have talked to, and some of them are really closely knitted into the fabric that holds her entourage, is saying it will not last. They might not say it to the happy couple, they certainly voice their opinion when they are not around. I laughed out loud when SJ told us how supportive her mother has been. The fact that she needed to emphasize that is a tell tale on its own. IJ profoundly dislikes Snorty and has been rather vocal about it. Her dislike is not about the age difference, which bothers her too obviously, but she's very suspicious of Snorty's motives and thinks he's after SJ's money. She has found a fervent companion in Nic Larkin, who literally despises what he privately calls 'Steph's baby', a clear reference to Tess Hoffman and the doll she has been carrying around for ages.

 

[Marty McFly 9]

I just had 22 pages to catch up on! Wowsers!!
I'm in the Rockies for a mini break with the husband!

 

[Beau Monde]

Please, please, please somebody at the Patron Q and A ask SJ "which one of you is the bottom?"

 

[Clara Burnett]

the fact she has set up a Q and A is enough evidence for me that she is freaking out.

She's freaking out alright. If you thought you've seen her manic, I tell you: yesterday's event sparked a whole new universe of hysterical outbursts. Truly unprecedented.

 

[TheTaxInspector]

*** LYRICS ***

The Legend of the Losers of Château de la Lande


Lalala lalala lalala lalala
Lalala lalala lalala

Stephanie, Stephanieee
With her joie de vivre she’s ivre de cupidité
Spending other people’s money every day
Without even an ounce of culpabilité
Her flogs have been a lifeline
With greed and grabbing so fine
Breathing life into a lost cause …

Marie, Marieee
Ma fleur de lit
As daft as one can be
She’s been exploited for hours
Fiddling with the flowers
In the farmhouse with the towers
And now she’s living in Brontë country
A real ‘success’ story …

Natti, Nathalieee
A true faux beauty
She’s always on the go
Taking care of all the cadeaux
And when the grabbing starts …

Lalala lalala lalala
Lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala
La Lande la Lande la Lande

Philip, Phileep
With passions so deep
For porcelain and prickly creatures sweet
With little rubbery noses and tiny feet
He has a striking sense of oddness
And is definitely ball-less
Looking at his camel toe …

Sillymar, Sillymar
Danced in like a tramp from afar
And Stephanie is wondering
Who the hell you are
With Tatiana he is planning
New ways of grabbing
And the animals will miss
Your silly ways and words …

Dan is the Man
With a watering can
In his hand
He can spot a weed
A mile away
And in the mirror
Cos he couldn’t get
Any thinner
With his digger and his van
Dan can do what
No one else can …

Amauree, Amaureee
Is the cake and the cherry
He came over on the ferry
To do the panelling
Now he’s stripping off
For grannies
At least he’s not
In his jammies
Like Stephaneee, Stephaneee

The elusive Nick
Such a dick
Marie, Anthoine,
Isanotbelle and Gerry too
Have all come to be with you
Birds of a feather
All the losers are together
In la Lande, la Lande, la Lande …

Michael Potts, Cat, and Ruthie
Are there too
For the door is always open
For losers like you

Blahlala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala lalala
La Lande la Lande la Lande

 

[Clara Burnett]

Yes, I can’t imagine that Channel 4 “spilled the beans” by mistake. It was a voiceover, and I would think that SJ had the chance to preview the episode before it aired (but maybe I’m wrong). Anyway, I’m thinking she knew it would be announced.

They did not spill anything. Like I said over and over again, in normal daily life at her shit show this is no secret, nor has it ever been. She forgot to inform them that he could not be publicly called 'boyfriend'. She was just completely counting on her scheme of smoke and mirrors to provide an array of explanations for whatever pops up. She did not know. The patron video is proof she was completely surprised by the news. Bad planning and bad pr. What else is new?

 

[Clara Burnett]

You're absolutely right Clara, her Patrons will stick blindly with her to the end. Who I wonder about are Nic, Marie and Potts....it's one thing to have SJ as a partner but to potentially have Snorty as a partner?? I'd be very unhappy indeed.

And they are, very unhappy that is. Nic Larkin does not do well with drama and Snorty being his bff's partner guarantees just that, the little drama queen plots and plans the stories they want to tell. It's why Larkin won't visit as much as in the old days. Same with Potty, although as I have come to understand it's mostly Ruth who doesn't like the twat. Her objective in coming to the shittoo has never been to become a character in SJ's soap. She sees SJ as her closest friend and wants to spent as much private time with her as possible. The relationship with Snorty has seriously downsized those moments as he is guarding her like a watch dog and hardly ever leaves her side.
The latest gossip I've heard, and I have to be careful and call it just that, gossip, even if two separate sources mentioned it without me asking, is that it was Snorty who gave C4 the official go ahead in mentioning his relation to the charlataine, as he was fed up with being kept in the dark and judged for his "we-talk". It would make sense, his position was mostly affected by the secrecy.

Perhaps Snorty was sly and requested Channel 4 make the big reveal? He does like the spotlight doesn't he?

Bingo! That's exactly what I've heard. And it's not just the spotlight he likes, he's desperate to strengthen his position in the household either way.

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

I TIP MY HAT TO YOU AND YOUR SOURCE, LADY WHISTLEDOWN @Clara Burnett

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

KABOOM! The squirrel is out of the bag and into the hag!


M M
7 minutes ago
Ha! the squirrel is out of the bag!!! Chateau DIY just mentioned on air. "Stephanie and her Dutch boyfriend Phillip"....What was Mr. Hedgehog doing in the Study with his red pillow with Miss Faversham???

 

[MojoDublin]

I actually think she is manipulative when using the age gap between Dick and Angel as an example when it is because of Philip’s young age, he is 24/25 and she is 46. I don’t care for it when a 41 year old man dates an 18 year old woman - that is the same age gap, it is due to Dick and Angel being much older already.

Let’s be very clear here

Dick and angel were adults with very successful careers and self sufficient when their MEDIA agent set them up on a date

Dick and angel are married and have a joint Life Kids & mortgage

Stephanoligy liar
Is the chitoooo owner with 2 others
BJJ pull up pampers was a 23 year old work a way
With no visible means of income no career or direction in life

Other than getting out of his diapers and jumping into new mummy’s bed

There is zero similarities.. zero

I’m all for women .. she can do as she pleases and she and I would never fight over men …

However - she’s been selling YES selling her life for 3 years on YouTube
I need cash
Here’s my friends and family
I need cash
I show my life
I need cash
I have nothing to hide

But non
She’s paying her staff a wage

She’s sideways paying for a shag
At the expense of her fans
Superfans
And
Patrons ….
Whom are like family to her!!!

But not her private life

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

She mentions her patreons might have a problem with the agegap...i dont think the agegap is the problem...that squirrel is a gay as Liberace... how do you explain a relationship like this...its just like mon cher ami Le marquis pointed out..his sugarmummy...to lazy and to nuts to get his life on track...spending his best years in a crumbling chateau with a middleaged crazy woman...my god it surely looks like the 1700's again..or a Jane Austen novel...

 

[MsPitstop]

Ohh ffs. Dick is NOT Angel's employer.

It's not the age. It's the power balance and employment issues. Fellow co-worker imbalance.

Thank you! IT IS the power balance.

So basically, Stef is saying in that patron(izing) video that she was so lonely that she began shagging Sir Snortsalot.

Also, why the hell would she tell Channel 4 if she is such a private person. You're open on TV but don't tell the people who are paying you $30,000 a month? Did Channel 4 force her to admit the truth? She could have kept saying he was her social media person or whatever is his bullshit title.

And we all dislike Sir Snortsalot because a; he doesn't do any real work; b; that farking snorting; c; he's a twat; d; he's a jumped up kid ...

 

[Clara Burnett]

After yesterday's KABOOM, I'm guessing they're all too riled to make a vlog.
Or it could just be an hour or two late.

The Chateau Diaries2 minutes ago
Hello everyone! Filming for Chateau DIY has run very late today - we’ve only just wrapped, so tonight’s Chateau Diaries vlog will be posted tomorrow instead! Love, Steph x

So she's using Chateau DIY as an excuse to buy some time to come up with some sort of coordinated strategy.

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

On the contrary! Now that it's out in the open the end will be so much sooner, trust me. Her patrons may fall for her bullshit as they tend to do, no questions asked but having lied about it to her most loyal fans in public, and by doing so forcing them to deny all gossip about the two, will cost them dearly. And the kind of relationship they are having would only work if it's kept out of the vlogs, which will not work because this is not something that viewers will forget about. Each and every person I have talked to, and some of them are really closely knitted into the fabric that holds her entourage, is saying it will not last. They might not say it to the happy couple, they certainly voice their opinion when they are not around. I laughed out loud when SJ told us how supportive her mother has been. The fact that she needed to emphasize that is a tell tale on its own. IJ profoundly dislikes Snorty and has been rather vocal about it. Her dislike is not about the age difference, which bothers her too obviously, but she's very suspicious of Snorty's motives and thinks he's after SJ's money. She has found a fervent companion in Nic Larkin, who literally despises what he privately calls 'Steph's baby', a clear reference to Tess Hoffman and the doll she has been carrying around for ages.

I would have to agree with you on the duration being short now. He’s so gauche it’s embarrassing. He’s not that great looking - not manly AT ALL. I don’t care if he’s young, actually men his age are horrible in bed in my experience. But the simple fact that he stalked her on YouTube, showed up and wormed his way in is just totally creepy and makes her look terrible. This must have been terrible for all the other regulars around there. Can you imagine having to kiss this prats ass? The only thing saving him from being on par with a street person is that he claims to be an actor and has a job in a forgettable play in nowhere. Could she scrape the bottom of a lower barrel? If he was a stud I could at least understand it, but he is so far from that. The stalking is the worst part. Just gross. She literally ran out of people to have sex with. It’s Pathetic.

 

[MsPitstop]

Hey Stef, we all know you read Tattle, so here's the message: We knew about you and Sir Snorts a year ago, and now that you've been outed by Channel 4, we don't care, we are delighted you got caught out. Our message is: now that you're outed that Sir Snorts is NOT your PA/media guy but your boyfriend, keep him out of your vlogs. No-one likes him. Send him back to Holland ASAP.

And Sir Snorts, you know that you are a conning a grifter. You've researched Stef before you came; you wooed her, and you think you are the queen king of the chateau.

Here's the thing Sir Snorts, when you are back doing your play, there will be an intervention by Potts, Nick, IJ etc and all your shitty tablecloths etc will be sent to your mum's place.

 

[iglie]

Well I must admit I am thoroughly disappointed by this news, I've been hoping he would leave the chateau verse for so long now and I doubt it'll happen anytime soon now... Gosh I just cannot stand him, why is he so irritating to me?!!

Also the way SJ says she's felt lonely for so long and that it's nice to have Phillip now makes it sound like she's just with him cause she can't find anyone better for now lol

 

[oooLaLande]

Don't you guys worry a bit!.. we have tech savvy insiders on patreon