The advice thread for random problems #3

[TheGlossy]

I have a massive issue which could or could not be costly for me.

The notary I worked with on my dad’s probate sign-off on a tax document where they changed my primary address before signing-off on it.

In the draft document they forwarded, they indicated my current address (in a different country). In the finalized document, they changed my address to an address in my birth country (my mom’s address) without informing me (I wasn’t at the appointment).

The document includes my occupation and whether I’m a tax resident. They correctly indicated I’m not a tax resident there but changed my primary address behind my back. I’m seriously worried the tax man over there is now going to chase me asking why I haven’t paid any taxes there for the last 10 years if I live there.

I asked my siblings whether she asked them any questions before doing this and they said no. If there was an issue with the address, I don’t understand why she didn’t ask me for clarification instead of chasing for an ID or changing it however she pleased.

This might cause me a lot of issues with the tax man there. I’m so stressed out.

 

[givemethenight]

If it’s not ringing properly on a private number then her phone is either turned off or she has no signal. The grey tick doesn’t mean much as if they have no signal it means your message has sent but the other person has not received (for example no signal or a dead phone) if her profile picture is there then she has not blocked you as it goes away straight away and you would be able to get through on a private number x

in short- if her phone is turned on with signal your phone would ring out until she answered/went to voice mail

Thank you so much

 

[PillowsofFluff]

Anyone an expert in tax stuff?
My other half got a demand from HMRC in the post yesterday, saying he's underpaid income tax for the FY 22/23 to the tune of 1k.
We absolutely cannot afford to pay it back in one lump sum like they're asking.
He switched jobs part-way through the financial year (September), and by the looks of it from the breakdown they sent, his new job started his tax free allowance from scratch and didn't tax him until he earnt past the allowance, but obviously he'd already earnt 11k earlier in the year so this shouldn't have happened.
He doesn't have payslips as he got them electronically and never saved them, and as he left that job in May this year, he no longer has access to the system to download them again to check what actually came out.

If they did put him on the wrong tax code, do we still have to pay? I know he should have been more observant but you kind of expect payroll to get this sort of thing right.
I'm just really worrying and don't know what to do

 

[CoffeeMamma]

does anyone know how to get a number 3 router replcamenet. i dont know how but the bit in he router where im meant to plug in the charger is broken. ive called three one person said to upgrade and ill get a new router but werent telling me the price and another was telling to take to a store. i dont know what to do

I’d go into store and speak to a human!

 

[becca7721]

Mind isnt accessible here and only offer art and crafting groups which I physically cannot do.

I can’t cope with getting rid of anything. It’s too hard. I’ve no money to replace anything at all. Winter I only survived because I used old newspapers to pad clothes as couldn’t afford heating (room was below zero). I have to eat out of date food due to no money. Use ancient device which periodically dies. Covid proved no help will come to me. Except abuse. I must keep everything in case. Literally begging on street to pay rent, been arrested.

Garden needs doing, but landlord just says to be patient. Neighbour needs sorting in terms of their noise/parties/waste being dumped in garden/pet waste in garden when not allowed pets but landlord refused and lied they were leaving. Yet they’ve just extended their contract.
---

I have no advice for poor Betty (I wish I had!) but I just want to say what an incredibly kind and thoughtful, truly compassionate message this is. You’re a darling. And Betty, if nothing else, I hope you feel seen, recognised as human and worthy of help.

I am grateful. I don’t feel worthy of help, because mental health have told me I’m not, though the word they used was ‘undeserving’.

 

[Good Egg]

I need an important document to send off. I have emailed on Monday and had zero response back... I’ve not even had an acknowledgement or I will get back to you? What do I do? Should I copy the original email again and ask again or should I wait out a bit longer (maybe it’s being looked into and until they get an answer I’ll get a response?). I hate stuff like this as 1). I need this information to proceed by a certain deadline 2). I’m overthinking have I stepped out of line or gone to the wrong person in the first instance which would be embarrassing 3). It just feels a bit rude to not even say I don’t know but I’ll find out - like zero response is a bit rude?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

I feel like I’ve done something wrong in asking...

I appreciate this doesn’t make any sense but what would be your next move? Wait, email again or try and ask someone else tagging in the original email? Thoughts?

 

[Rxt156]

I also read that if its older than 10 years then they won’t accept it at the airport even if it is before the expiry date

 

[Medusah80]

I have decided to paint my wall a darker shade of green (dark Ivy/forest green) . Can I paint over the current colour or do I paint wall white first ?
T.I.A.

I

 

[littlepup]

Thank you.

I will ask. I just don’t understand why she just asked for mine and not the others. This is what is making me uncomfortable.

Surely, if it was audit-related, she would have asked for all of them, not just one person’s.

Do you have a different surname? It could be that there’s a searchable database for home based but they can’t do it for overseas.
I had to provide ID if I remember correctly.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

Does anyone know if a beneficiary of a will, is allowed to be in the presence of a person, whislt they are making the will?

 

[stargirl23]

Boob or bust

Amazing. Thank you!!

 

[stardust1]

My dad has been with his partner four years. Since getting together I have had *zero* one-to-one time with him. I can't get him on his own. I really wanted to go for a meal with just him and my siblings for Fathers Day this week, but he invited her too. Same for everything. Even when just going for a walk, she's there. She's lovely and I do get on with her. But I should be allowed to have private time with my Dad too? Do I need a reason.
We had an awful time at Christmas, he couldn't be apart from her so he missed a lot of our family celebrations (long story, but it wasn't appropriate for her to be there.) He has sold his house and moved in with her. My grandad recently passed and they're in the process of selling that too.
I do worry he is being taken advantage of financially and otherwise, but I dare not mention anything, because I know he will repeat to her what I've said. And I can't physically be on my own with him anyway. Even on the phone, she's in the background listening in.
My siblings think she's controlling and they don't like her at all. Over Christmas, he said he'd rather stay with her 'because she doesn't want us to be apart'. But I don't know if she really said that, or if it's my dad.
Does anyone know how I can approach this difficult topic.

sorry to hear this. We are going through something similar with my in laws. We tried reasoning but in the end we just had to be brutally honest with the situation, he didn’t like it and still stuck by his wifes side and we give up.

is he vulnerable? What do your siblings want to do about it? X

 

[Snippysnips]

Does anyone here go on coach trips for short breaks?

Best and cheapest way to do this, please? My friend asked me to go away to Devon with her by coach, I said why when I like driving. but my counsellor has said it would be good for me to step outside my comfort zone and let someone else do the driving and for me to just enjoy the break from start to finish.

My friend isn't online so want to see if I can find it cheaper than offline, obviously, it will be after the schools go back.

My parents use Caledonian an Breaks to go an I think they also done a David Urquhart at one point, the coach tips are ok but it's limited places they go too an I think they prefer you stay with the bus so I'd check to see if they are going to one specific area or numerous, my folks done a Mon to Fri an each day was a different town

If you are only wanting to go to one place for a few days it may work out a bit cheaper just getting normal buses or a train, the full week coach trips can be a bit costly as they are obviously including all your excursions, meals, hotel stays if they are moving towns, an if there's a entertainment pass you need then they cover that an if you aren't going to be using most of that then it might work out a bit expensive

 

[littlepup]

I bought a ‘brand new’ pair of jeans from Net a Porter. This pair of jeans is not second hand. The internal side of the pockets came full of bubbles (cotton bubbles similar to when a top has been worn too many times).

I’m not sure if I need to return them because I don’t know if it’s a case where they’ve been worn and returned or they just got like that from how they were maintained in the warehouse?!

Are they a stone wash or washed/distressed kind of look jean? The process can affect the softer cotton in the pockets making it bobble.

 

[stardust1]

Thanks, yeah I probs won't sleep now.

Try not to worry but I’d have thought it’s on them if they left that message. Try ring first thing tomorrow too.

 

[Blondeangel2515]

I'd honestly just block him on everything an not bother to reply, at the end of the day they need evidence to be able to do anything an so long as you don't do anything then they won't have that evidence, if they look at his phone an all they can see is him sending stuff and no replies sent back then you can easily flip it an say it's the other way round

I don’t want to do anything over it, it’s really stupid end of the day he was messaging me in March 24/7 for a week having very deep conversations telling me how he thinks he was more fun before this relationship, when he wants babies etc all I did was send them to the girls family to make her aware and then sent him a message to explain why I did what I did it just seems so out the blue

 

[TheGlossy]

I bought a ‘brand new’ pair of jeans from Net a Porter. This pair of jeans is not second hand. The internal side of the pockets came full of bubbles (cotton bubbles similar to when a top has been worn too many times).

I’m not sure if I need to return them because I don’t know if it’s a case where they’ve been worn and returned or they just got like that from how they were maintained in the warehouse?!

 

[Hastaggifted]

Would you buy a house without a bath?

We have a small bathroom with a shower over the bath. We are a family that 99% of the time shower, my 7 year will occasionally have a big bubble bath, maybe 3 x a year.
We will be redoing it in the next year or so. I'm thinking of getting rid of the bath and making it into a wet room with big walk in shower. We do however have 2 ensuites that are showers. But we want to keep our ensuite kid free and the 2nd ensuite is in our 15 year olds room so he doesn't particularly want younger siblings coming in and out.
We have no plans to sell but would it affect resale value if we got rid of bath completely or should we just do what we want without thinking about possible selling points in the future.

 

[TheGlossy]

Does anyone have any experience with Transport for London unpaid fares?

I took the Gatwick express from Gatwick yo Victoria and then from Westminster to Bond Street.

I was charged £22 using contactless. However, another charge of £28 appeared on my account on the same day called ‘unpaid fares’. I taped in and out. There shouldn’t be such charge, especially as the £22 fee was deducted on the same day.

How do I get this reversed? £50 seems pretty steep for such itinerary.

 

[Meg78]

Is that in Ireland? Because in the UK a lot of shops definitely don't have free returns anymore

Nope England

How Britain's biggest shops are pocketing YOUR delivery fee refunds

Online stores including Asos, Boohoo and Topshop routinely pocket the postage and packaging costs - often called delivery fees or charges - when customers return goods.

www.thisismoney.co.uk