I so want to reach out to you, I've been in a similar position to you and felt the same way. I'm the sort of person who refills the kettle last thing at night, so others don't have to waste any time when they need to fill their coffee mugs for work. I like to make sure everything is ready for everyone.
When it comes to me, however,
nobody ever considered what they could do for me, to make my day smoother, easier, calmer. I found myself getting snappy, tearful, resentful. Eventually I totally lost my
and told every single one of them how selfish, greedy, self serving and um, rude I found them to be
While it felt good for about, like, 5 mins, (then I felt awkward and that I had been rude) it left me wanting to change things but not knowing how. During one of my counselling sessions, I mentioned this situation and the Counsellor wanted to know why I "enabled" the others to treat me like this, I honestly felt a little cross at this suggestion, but, she was correct after a discussion.
I realised that when there was tea to be made, I was the first one to the kettle. When there was a loo roll to change, I would change it. The postie knocked, I'd go and collect the parcel or mail, then take it to them........ Frankly, I was being a mug to myself
So I asked how to fix/change this. She told me to simply.......... (yes get this life changing thing....) ask them
The oddest thing? It does in fact work. Sat the next day, I found myself feeling nervous, but excited, I'd love a cuppa, I said, 3 hopeful faces looked up and as I caught eye contact, I said oh would you mind? lovely, thanks so much and you know what happened? They actually made me tea
Fearing this was a fluke, but also enjoying my new superpowers
I decided to keep flexing my new found skills. I asked for someone to take out the bin bags - they were done. I asked for someone to pop the washing in the machine and it also happened.
Once that began, they were off and doing things without being asked - however, every now and again, I do have to ask for something, give them a wee nudge, a mere hint, point something out and it gets done (and not by me)
So please try this out for yourself.