One of my kids when smaller would be um, "loud and proud"
, I'm ashamed (and I am truly) to say I spent the earlier years cringing, crying, feeling sick and apologising non-stop to everyone. I missed out on events, days out all sorts, because I was too embarrassed to be out, not because of my child, but because of other folk judging, commenting and leaving me a wreck
.
So I want to say to you, if some events are going to be too much, it really is ok to send a polite excuse and go spend the day having fun with your child. If you do want to be there, then there are some tricks for your child.
Among the things I found helpful, you can get these little boxes of raisons kind of fun size/lunch box size, my child would spend ages, digging out one sticky old raison, with their dinky fingers and then spend ages chewing it, which distracted them and kept their mouth busy from yelling
They liked to draw with a little pad and small set of crayons that fitted into a tiny handbag (mine not the childs lol)
I found these giant strings (like chunky shoe laces) that threaded into a shape, so you put the lace in and out of punched holes, which would keep them occupied for ages.
Over time, you may even spot another parent/guardian who is also dying inside while their child is just having the best time ever, oblivious to the huffy sorts all glaring away and shaking their judging old heads
I guarentee you will be full of empathy, sympathy and find yourself trying to help them feel better and then it dawns on you..... so it's not me then, this is like a parent thing
That's the moment where you will begin to feel calmer and kinder to yourself. You aren't alone in this feeling, it just makes you feel alone in the moment. x