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Today’s the second one year anniversary in the last month of friends of mine who passed away from overdoses and I’m very sad, emotionally overwhelmed but also not really all there. The last year has been awful. It’s just indescribable. I have a lot of love to give and spend a lot of my time thinking about others which I’m learning just exhausts me. I don’t drink or smoke or do anything now as I haven’t been a good place mentally and I can’t cope with the emotions that come with a hangover. I was recently diagnosed with ADD and will be going forward with trying medication in the next few weeks which I really hope can bring to me be focused on myself and get me putting myself first. I’ve always been rubbish at that. It’s just a sad day.
 
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Your attitude is pretty appalling. Sorry but you just sound completely full of yourself! If you were late for work you SHOULD apologise, not give a raft of excuses as to why. You work in a clothes shop, it’s not exactly like working for the house of Versace! Your job is to do what your manager tells you. If you think you are too good for that, then find another job.
yes dear I did apologies, thats just manors. I already work for myself I don't need to work there yes I am fortunate but I did graft to learn a skill to trade currency, if that makes me full of myself then so be it. That's your opinion. You live and learn from every experience. Unfortunately some people are stuck in the 9-5 system and dont follow their dreams. No point wasting time in something that doesn't get you closer to where you want to go.
 
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There's an expression/old saying.... and this too shall pass. When it comes to little ones, every single one is different and unique. As they change from babies who rely on parents totally, they become little characters, curious of the big world around them. As they try to engage, make sense, join in, they get tired, anxious, confused, frustrated.....:( it is very draining, it makes you feel sad and a lot of parents don't get any real sleep or rest, so being tired makes it all seem so much harder.

You aren't a failure, it's a natural terrible two's (and um, should I mention I have 2 in their 20's and we still get the odd tantrum even now :rolleyes:;):ROFLMAO: ) if your little one is fed, watered, clothed and loved, you're doing just fine there :) and frankly, if you are doing even half of that for yourself, mate you are a legend ;):giggle: who is doing really well.

Take each day as it comes, it will get easier, you've got this more than you realise 🤗
I’ve been trying to figure out how to reply all day , it wouldn’t let me. Thank you. The constant screaming is so distressing, I feel
Like we can’t take her anywhere. We’ve a family event coming up and I’ve a knot in my stomach already thinking about her screaming at it!

It’s just a phase it’s just a phase it’s just a phase
 
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I’ve been trying to figure out how to reply all day , it wouldn’t let me. Thank you. The constant screaming is so distressing, I feel
Like we can’t take her anywhere. We’ve a family event coming up and I’ve a knot in my stomach already thinking about her screaming at it!

It’s just a phase it’s just a phase it’s just a phase
Hi,
Could you try something like this with your little one?

8F1E422B-D41F-40EE-BCFC-800B8CC4DA15.jpeg

Make it a bit of a game (when you’ve got the time and capacity to deal with it and don’t need to be anywhere) and do it every day for a few weeks and see if they learn that there’s times for screaming and times to be quiet.
Another thing I read was for you to whisper or talk really quietly when they’re screaming/shouting and they should copy you 🤷‍♀️ Again, it’ll take time and practise but might be worth a shot.
Good luck - I have a screamer too but it’s not constant, just when he’s frustrated or doesn’t get his own way. Typical toddler 😂
 
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I’ve been trying to figure out how to reply all day , it wouldn’t let me. Thank you. The constant screaming is so distressing, I feel
Like we can’t take her anywhere. We’ve a family event coming up and I’ve a knot in my stomach already thinking about her screaming at it!

It’s just a phase it’s just a phase it’s just a phase
One of my kids when smaller would be um, "loud and proud" :oops::ROFLMAO:, I'm ashamed (and I am truly) to say I spent the earlier years cringing, crying, feeling sick and apologising non-stop to everyone. I missed out on events, days out all sorts, because I was too embarrassed to be out, not because of my child, but because of other folk judging, commenting and leaving me a wreck :cry::cautious:.

So I want to say to you, if some events are going to be too much, it really is ok to send a polite excuse and go spend the day having fun with your child. If you do want to be there, then there are some tricks for your child.

Among the things I found helpful, you can get these little boxes of raisons kind of fun size/lunch box size, my child would spend ages, digging out one sticky old raison, with their dinky fingers and then spend ages chewing it, which distracted them and kept their mouth busy from yelling ;):ROFLMAO:

They liked to draw with a little pad and small set of crayons that fitted into a tiny handbag (mine not the childs lol) ;):giggle: I found these giant strings (like chunky shoe laces) that threaded into a shape, so you put the lace in and out of punched holes, which would keep them occupied for ages.

Over time, you may even spot another parent/guardian who is also dying inside while their child is just having the best time ever, oblivious to the huffy sorts all glaring away and shaking their judging old heads :rolleyes: I guarentee you will be full of empathy, sympathy and find yourself trying to help them feel better and then it dawns on you..... so it's not me then, this is like a parent thing :oops::cool:

That's the moment where you will begin to feel calmer and kinder to yourself. You aren't alone in this feeling, it just makes you feel alone in the moment. x
 
One of my kids when smaller would be um, "loud and proud" :oops::ROFLMAO:, I'm ashamed (and I am truly) to say I spent the earlier years cringing, crying, feeling sick and apologising non-stop to everyone. I missed out on events, days out all sorts, because I was too embarrassed to be out, not because of my child, but because of other folk judging, commenting and leaving me a wreck :cry::cautious:.

So I want to say to you, if some events are going to be too much, it really is ok to send a polite excuse and go spend the day having fun with your child. If you do want to be there, then there are some tricks for your child.

Among the things I found helpful, you can get these little boxes of raisons kind of fun size/lunch box size, my child would spend ages, digging out one sticky old raison, with their dinky fingers and then spend ages chewing it, which distracted them and kept their mouth busy from yelling ;):ROFLMAO:

They liked to draw with a little pad and small set of crayons that fitted into a tiny handbag (mine not the childs lol) ;):giggle: I found these giant strings (like chunky shoe laces) that threaded into a shape, so you put the lace in and out of punched holes, which would keep them occupied for ages.

Over time, you may even spot another parent/guardian who is also dying inside while their child is just having the best time ever, oblivious to the huffy sorts all glaring away and shaking their judging old heads :rolleyes: I guarentee you will be full of empathy, sympathy and find yourself trying to help them feel better and then it dawns on you..... so it's not me then, this is like a parent thing :oops::cool:

That's the moment where you will begin to feel calmer and kinder to yourself. You aren't alone in this feeling, it just makes you feel alone in the moment. x
Oh man. Literally sod the judgemental parenting types, I’d absolutely LOVE to see their kids being angels non stop from 0-18 years. I did exactly the same for my eldest child, apologising for everything, not attending events, crying, feeling upset or embarrassed or that I was a failure but actually I realised I was just dulling his sparkle (and my own) and his personality makes him who he is (within reason - my middle one is just a little tit 🤣) I decided I didn’t want to avoid life anymore so just went all in, did the bits I wanted to do for myself and him and learned to just crack on along the way. Kids will be kids unfortunately and the only way to show that their behaviour isn’t bothering you (and therefore won’t be giving them attention for it) is just to get on and make the best of a bad situation in the hopes that they realise screaming isn’t going to get a reaction from you and then hopefully it will calm down to a manageable level.

Anxiety over your kids can be absolutely crippling I totally can relate, no one will feel annoyed if you miss some events etc but it really is just a phase. It is a universal truth that most toddlers are such screachy arseholes 99% of the time so you just have to embrace the good, ignore anyone who wants to judge you or make you feel like tit about it, laugh along, laugh at yourself and the situation, turn everything into a game, shrug it all off and chuck the rest in the duck it bucket. Feel for you OP and anyone who struggles with high maintenance toddlers/kids, it can be really soul destroying but hang in there because better days are coming xxx
 
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yes dear I did apologies, thats just manors. I already work for myself I don't need to work there yes I am fortunate but I did graft to learn a skill to trade currency, if that makes me full of myself then so be it. That's your opinion. You live and learn from every experience. Unfortunately some people are stuck in the 9-5 system and dont follow their dreams. No point wasting time in something that doesn't get you closer to where you want to go.
 
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Isn’t this a support thread? lol
If people don’t agree what others post then just scroll past surely?
 
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Feel like I'm close to the edge re household plumbing/building DIY issues. Within the last week I've had my guttering relined then it leaked and the roofer has been back twice to sort it. Then I heard a strange noise coming from the bath a low level shhh type noise. I got the plumber out who said I had a leak and showed me it. Worse than that He looked under the bath and I need a new floor and joist as its rotted with the leak I had no idea of a problem. Then today the bath overflow didn't work which the plumber was supposed to fix and the bathroom flooded!
Someone came out, a joiner and said he would give me a quote for the floor and joist this weekend via email. He hasn't bothered yet. The house insurance upon close examination wont cover the job either because its damage that occurred over time, the joist and the floor. I'm totally and utterly fed up and its finding someone properly qualified to do the job as well, I don't want to be ripped off etc.
 
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Feel like I'm close to the edge re household plumbing/building DIY issues. Within the last week I've had my guttering relined then it leaked and the roofer has been back twice to sort it. Then I heard a strange noise coming from the bath a low level shhh type noise. I got the plumber out who said I had a leak and showed me it. Worse than that He looked under the bath and I need a new floor and joist as its rotted with the leak I had no idea of a problem. Then today the bath overflow didn't work which the plumber was supposed to fix and the bathroom flooded!
Someone came out, a joiner and said he would give me a quote for the floor and joist this weekend via email. He hasn't bothered yet. The house insurance upon close examination wont cover the job either because its damage that occurred over time, the joist and the floor. I'm totally and utterly fed up and its finding someone properly qualified to do the job as well, I don't want to be ripped off etc.
Ugh, I hear you. Trades people are awful in terms of getting back to you and even sometimes just to get any to come out and have a look at the problem.
Is there anybody you trust that can recommend trades people for the job? And when you do hire somebody make sure they are insured and belong to the relevant trade body
 
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Ugh, I hear you. Trades people are awful in terms of getting back to you and even sometimes just to get any to come out and have a look at the problem.
Is there anybody you trust that can recommend trades people for the job? And when you do hire somebody make sure they are insured and belong to the relevant trade body
Hi, Thanks for that, No there's no one I know who can recommend someone for fitting underfloor joists etc. Bathrooms and things yes. I've had a fairly good response off My Builder in the past with tradespeople a lot better than those who advertise locally etc. I am making sure the person is insured and has the relevant qualifications etc and can provide proper proof of address as well. Also I've discovered that different joiners do different jobs etc, they cant all do it all. If someone has been to my house and cant even fit a door handle without botching it then there's no way I'd trust them to do something that holds the bath up.
Tradespeople are all charging a lot more ATM because of Brexit the Eastern Europeans returning home, material shortages etc.
 
My grandmother is dying. I went to visit her in the hospice yesterday. She has stopped eating and her parkinsons has caused her to deteriorated even quicker. She can't speak, all she can do is lay in the bed and breath. She's on morphine so at least I know she's not in pain. I stayed with her for 2 hours and spoke to her (despite the fact that she can't speak back). I put my atheism aside for 5 minutes and said a Hail Mary prayer with her. When the rest of my family came in, a priest came and the last rites and then I went home.

She's got a few days left at most, but for whatever reason.. I don't feel anything. All day today, I don't feel hungry and I don't seem to want to do anything. I can't shower, I don't want to watch tv, or anything really. I just feel really numb.

I feel guilty for feeling nothing.
 
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My grandmother is dying. I went to visit her in the hospice yesterday. She has stopped eating and her parkinsons has caused her to deteriorated even quicker. She can't speak, all she can do is lay in the bed and breath. She's on morphine so at least I know she's not in pain. I stayed with her for 2 hours and spoke to her (despite the fact that she can't speak back). I put my atheism aside for 5 minutes and said a Hail Mary prayer with her. When the rest of my family came in, a priest came and the last rites and then I went home.

She's got a few days left at most, but for whatever reason.. I don't feel anything. All day today, I don't feel hungry and I don't seem to want to do anything. I can't shower, I don't want to watch tv, or anything really. I just feel really numb.

I feel guilty for feeling nothing.
Don't feel guilty we all grieve different. When my dad died I also felt nothing, and let me tell you we were incredibly close. He was my best friend. It took months before it caught up with me. And even then I didn't grieve how I thought I would. I've handled it waaaay better than my expectations.

If you Google it you will see a lot of people ask this question. I know because I googled it, wondering if something was wrong with me for not feeling more after my dad's death.

So even if you don't think it, it is normal!
 
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Hi, Thanks for that, No there's no one I know who can recommend someone for fitting underfloor joists etc. Bathrooms and things yes. I've had a fairly good response off My Builder in the past with tradespeople a lot better than those who advertise locally etc. I am making sure the person is insured and has the relevant qualifications etc and can provide proper proof of address as well. Also I've discovered that different joiners do different jobs etc, they cant all do it all. If someone has been to my house and cant even fit a door handle without botching it then there's no way I'd trust them to do something that holds the bath up.
Tradespeople are all charging a lot more ATM because of Brexit the Eastern Europeans returning home, material shortages etc.
Why are you asking to see proof of address?! When you say your are making sure someone has the right qualifications what are you looking for?
A time served joiner/carpenter will be able to sort you joists for you. That’s literally what they do for a living. A good carpenter will cost you at least £250 for a days work.
 
My grandmother is dying. I went to visit her in the hospice yesterday. She has stopped eating and her parkinsons has caused her to deteriorated even quicker. She can't speak, all she can do is lay in the bed and breath. She's on morphine so at least I know she's not in pain. I stayed with her for 2 hours and spoke to her (despite the fact that she can't speak back). I put my atheism aside for 5 minutes and said a Hail Mary prayer with her. When the rest of my family came in, a priest came and the last rites and then I went home.

She's got a few days left at most, but for whatever reason.. I don't feel anything. All day today, I don't feel hungry and I don't seem to want to do anything. I can't shower, I don't want to watch tv, or anything really. I just feel really numb.

I feel guilty for feeling nothing.

Not feeling anything, my brother said the same when our sister died. I said maybe you feel numb rather than feel nothing, he didn't know. You are in limbo right now. Nothing is right or wrong I felt relieved when my sister died, then like you guilty for what I felt.

As a grandmother, I want the best for my grandchildren and love them unconditionally and I would hate them to feel guilty over anything to do with me.
 
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Why are you asking to see proof of address?! When you say your are making sure someone has the right qualifications what are you looking for?
A time served joiner/carpenter will be able to sort you joists for you. That’s literally what they do for a living. A good carpenter will cost you at least £250 for a days work.
Because I've been screwed over before by a tradesperson who then went onto threaten me into having an overpriced job done which I refused to do. I've had people before to do basic jobs that they haven't been able to do full stop and I don't want to be thousands out of pocket and have the bathroom collapse. An old neighbour of mine set himself up as a builder and had no qualifications, then he went round screwing loads of elderly people out of thousands for botched jobs. When they complained he threatened to put their windows through etc. I just want the job doing properly, to pay the going rate and not have any issues etc.
 
Because I've been screwed over before by a tradesperson who then went onto threaten me into having an overpriced job done which I refused to do. I've had people before to do basic jobs that they haven't been able to do full stop and I don't want to be thousands out of pocket and have the bathroom collapse. An old neighbour of mine set himself up as a builder and had no qualifications, then he went round screwing loads of elderly people out of thousands for botched jobs. When they complained he threatened to put their windows through etc. I just want the job doing properly, to pay the going rate and not have any issues etc.
But what exactly are you going to do with a proof of address? They could move, give you false documents. Knowing where they live means nothing, would having the previous tradesperson address helped you in that situation?

You need personal recommendations and reviews. You need to see their work in person.
 
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But what exactly are you going to do with a proof of address? They could move, give you false documents. Knowing where they live means nothing, would having the previous tradesperson address helped you in that situation?

You need personal recommendations and reviews. You need to see their work in person.
Because if the job is botched and you have the address then there's things you can do about it like making a claim etc. Obviously you need proper proof of address as well as the things you say. Its always advised that you properly check the tradesperson out. People have made claims in my area against the previous neighbour they wouldnt have been able to do that without his address.
 
I've probably spoken about this a good bit, but I'm certainly sensing the post-COVID anxiety kicking in.

We're expected to revert back to "normal" and pick up where we left off in 2019, but I find it extremely difficult to adjust to. I'm due to start working from the office again on Thursday and it's really triggering a whole lot of different emotions. My life has changed entirely since the last time I worked from an office setting in the fall and I'm reminiscing all the emotions from back then. I'm very grateful for all the changes, but I feel utterly disoriented. I'm not in touch with about 85% of the people I used to be surrounded with back then and my personality has completely changed. All the things I used to enjoy then (dressing up, meeting people, being out and about) seem so distant and I simply don't have the energy for all of this like I used to. I'm hoping this is simply a temporary feeling.
 
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