Jesus, persistent harrassment!! No wonder its grinding you down. I'm sure there's a law in place re mental abuse/harrassment. Could you look into that if you haven't already.
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I'm afraid to start to vent because I may never stop. I'm just tired through to my bones at the moment with all this Covid crap and trying to keep a small business afloat.
We took a new member of staff on in October last year, and I've just counted their sick days as yet again they're off sick (non Covid and non mental health).........so far it's 20 days. I haven't had 20 days off in 5 years let alone off sick. I just don't have the time, energy or effort to keep dealing with it and knowing we're going to have to let them go having spent money on uniform, training, insurance etc makes me so cross. I honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry today. I woke up this morning at 5am because one of the dogs had pooped on the floor and the smell wafted upstairs........ and my heart really sank at the thought of another groundhog day.
Will life ever be good again
We took a new member of staff on in October last year, and I've just counted their sick days as yet again they're off sick (non Covid and non mental health).........so far it's 20 days. I haven't had 20 days off in 5 years let alone off sick. I just don't have the time, energy or effort to keep dealing with it and knowing we're going to have to let them go having spent money on uniform, training, insurance etc makes me so cross. I honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry today. I woke up this morning at 5am because one of the dogs had pooped on the floor and the smell wafted upstairs........ and my heart really sank at the thought of another groundhog day.
Will life ever be good again
Rant of the day....I'm officially done with people. Obnoxious rude ignorant cunts all day I'm dealing with them. Here's how my day went. Went to work as usual, within the first half hour a certain ethnic minority came into the shop. One with a mask, two with none. My co worker asked polietly would they put on masks, two of them laughed and said they had asthma, they proceeded to open a load of drinks and drank out of them so she had to serve them while they were shouting at me to make them rolls. The oldest of the lot of them in his 50s went down and pulled all the serviettes out of it's holder , breaking it while doing it and fucked it on the floor , other customers feeling intimidated were keeping away from the. An old woman looked scared 
they kept shouting and laughing around the shop. Shouting for the lotto and just basically being assholes. Driving a uk reg car. One woman ran out and went into the Garda station next door but of course there was no one there , it's in a small village. Then we had another traveller in that wouldn't wear the mask because it was going to mess up her makeup...there are people dying and she doesn't want to wreck her makeup ...is she for bleeping real!!? mind boggles. They just seem to make it to hard for workers. We are trying our best but it's just so hard. Not all travellers are like this. The week before we had some nice ones that just forgot about the mask and put one on straight away when we asked them. I have no problem with them in general, it's a few of them give the rest a bad name. Like every other race/group. If i offended anyone here talking about this don't even reply cos I've just had enough... I'm so happy I'm off tomorrow!! 
they kept shouting and laughing around the shop. Shouting for the lotto and just basically being assholes. Driving a uk reg car. One woman ran out and went into the Garda station next door but of course there was no one there , it's in a small village. Then we had another traveller in that wouldn't wear the mask because it was going to mess up her makeup...there are people dying and she doesn't want to wreck her makeup ...is she for bleeping real!!? mind boggles. They just seem to make it to hard for workers. We are trying our best but it's just so hard. Not all travellers are like this. The week before we had some nice ones that just forgot about the mask and put one on straight away when we asked them. I have no problem with them in general, it's a few of them give the rest a bad name. Like every other race/group. If i offended anyone here talking about this don't even reply cos I've just had enough... I'm so happy I'm off tomorrow!! 
i just can't do this anymore, this whole covid situation is really getting to me, i don't see the end, i can't work from home anymore, i can't separate my own life from work life, i can't fulfill people's expectations anymore when i can barely find the motivation to get in the shower, i don't want to do anything and i'm bored of myself, i'm starting to feel like i'm not an interesting person anymore because i have nothing to say anymore, i'm finding it extremely difficult to be around people because i'm used to being home alone just with my bf and my cat... and i'm lashing out and my poor bf has to handle that, in the end the only one i can completely tolerate is my cat 
and it's not even a joke, i honestly feel like that. i just literally don't see the purpose of trying anymore
and it's not even a joke, i honestly feel like that. i just literally don't see the purpose of trying anymoreI can totally empathise with you and you have every right to feel the way you do. Lockdown sucks, isolation sucks. I was feeling really ‘meh’ for a while but instead of putting too much pressure on myself to be productive I’m just aiming to do more steps each week (good old Fitbit telling me to walk more, laps of the flat is pretty boring) and today I dyed my hair and played with makeup. A bit of self care has made me feel a little better so could you have a self care day?i just can't do this anymore, this whole covid situation is really getting to me, i don't see the end, i can't work from home anymore, i can't separate my own life from work life, i can't fulfill people's expectations anymore when i can barely find the motivation to get in the shower, i don't want to do anything and i'm bored of myself, i'm starting to feel like i'm not an interesting person anymore because i have nothing to say anymore, i'm finding it extremely difficult to be around people because i'm used to being home alone just with my bf and my cat... and i'm lashing out and my poor bf has to handle that, in the end the only one i can completely tolerate is my cat
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i have had a lot of trouble with my mental health, I was in hospital from November 2018 to November 2020 and coming home in a lockdown has been hard as I live alone.
my sleep and anxiety have been slowly getting worse and today my leg tremors are back really bad. My care coordinator had to cancel today as she had to go home due to the snow (which melted) and now, I’ve looked out of my window and we have had another big snow dump so I’m sure my support worker will cancel tomorrow too
I have emailed my care co asking for a med review as I cannot let my anxiety get out of control again. I wish I could see my friends and family, my cat hasn’t been able to come home from my dads due to lockdown and I haven’t seen him since September. I could do with smushing him, although I’m not sure he would appreciate that.sorry, I just had to get it off my chest.
thank you for the kind response and i'm sorry to hear you're struggling!
i hope you can smush your cat sooni also have leg tremors - has anyone explained it to you? i was told i have restless leg syndrome and was given prescription medicine for parkinsons but i stopped taking it after a while because i didn't want to depend on them :/
I really wanted to try for a baby this year but I just don't think we're getting back to any sense of normal anytime soon and it all just seems too risky in terms of our job security etc. I am only 28 so could hold off for a few years and focus on other things to see if things improve but its so hard seeing others starting that journey. I really wish I could just be like sod it we'll work through it if the worst happens but I'm petrified of us being in a position where we have no income and a little one to keep fed and clothed.
I was having a good day.... My two colleagues were talking about another colleague who left last year. They are both still in touch with her. She mentioned to one of them about meeting up when all this is over, apparently she said that she could wait to meet up with them, no mention of me. We are a small department and I used to share an office with her along with another colleague and was a bit hurt that she didn't ask for my number when she left, but thought she would keep in touch via the other colleagues. We always seemed to get along, I am a bit shy so can be quiet but did make an effort to chat to her. She mentioned when she left that we would all have to meet up at some point.
I know that it sounds very childish, but I feel very hurt at being left out, I know that I shouldn't be letting it get to me . I know that as soon as I go out the two colleagues are going to be "oh tit we shouldn't have mentioned anything in front of Petesgirl,". If I do receive an invite after this because they feel guilty I will make an excuse about not being able to go, duck em
I know that it sounds very childish, but I feel very hurt at being left out, I know that I shouldn't be letting it get to me . I know that as soon as I go out the two colleagues are going to be "oh tit we shouldn't have mentioned anything in front of Petesgirl,". If I do receive an invite after this because they feel guilty I will make an excuse about not being able to go, duck em
Morning all. I'm sorry to be such a downer when it's barely 10am on a Monday morning. A client of mine snapped at me and I'm feeling really upset. My boss asked me last week to get in touch with a new client (call him John) to onboard him/introduce him to our team. My boss and John are acquaintances and there was discussion between them about this campaign that I wasn't part of (my boss never copies anyone into emails). My boss started moaning at me and my other boss about how he "shouldn't be dealing with this now as he's done his job" so handed the project over to us. I had no information on what it was about as I didn't have a handover, so was going in blind but I'm used to it and usually, we have calls with new clients to get up to speed on everything and it's never a huge problem.
I emailed him last week on Thursday introducing myself and my role, and asked if we could have an intro call to catch up on what we'll be doing for him. He got back on Saturday afternoon saying "Thanks, so is the campaign set up now?" and clearly didn't bother to read the email. I wrote back and said yup it's set up and ready to go, could he confirm a couple of other things and we'll put it live. He responded with (word for word), "thanks for that, but I'd expect you to tell me what you've done exactly, how it has been set up, before asking me this? Can't really give you more details when I don't know what you've done. Apologies if that sounds odd but I don't know what you're asking".
I feel really stupid now because I feel like I look incompetent when I'm not. He's the one who came back with attitude for no reason - if you wanted this detail to begin with, why didn't you ask? Thankfully my other boss had my back and agreed it wasn't a very nice email and he was being unreasonable but it really upset me for some reason. I've been really struggling over the last few weeks and don't need people being crappy and taking stuff out on me at the moment. I'm just trying to do my job.
I emailed him last week on Thursday introducing myself and my role, and asked if we could have an intro call to catch up on what we'll be doing for him. He got back on Saturday afternoon saying "Thanks, so is the campaign set up now?" and clearly didn't bother to read the email. I wrote back and said yup it's set up and ready to go, could he confirm a couple of other things and we'll put it live. He responded with (word for word), "thanks for that, but I'd expect you to tell me what you've done exactly, how it has been set up, before asking me this? Can't really give you more details when I don't know what you've done. Apologies if that sounds odd but I don't know what you're asking".
I feel really stupid now because I feel like I look incompetent when I'm not. He's the one who came back with attitude for no reason - if you wanted this detail to begin with, why didn't you ask? Thankfully my other boss had my back and agreed it wasn't a very nice email and he was being unreasonable but it really upset me for some reason. I've been really struggling over the last few weeks and don't need people being crappy and taking stuff out on me at the moment. I'm just trying to do my job.
I have some general tips for sleep after an absolutely ghastly period of insomnia caused by stress:
-Try not to take sleeping pills. I know when you are desperate you will try anything but they really do more harm than good
-Valerian really does help to relax me when I'm extremely stressed out and in a vicious cycle
-Try to keep your routine regular as possible
-If you can't fall asleep don't put pressure on yourself to sleep. I know this is so hard but from a CBT point of view it's best to accept that sometimes you will find it hard to sleep. audiobooks and podcasts are the best for moving your mind onto something else and you might even fall asleep as you listen.
Ultimately there are times in life when you will find it hard to sleep. Even if you don't think you are stressed, I believe that insomnia is generally caused by underlying stress. Trying not to put any pressure on yourself to sleep will help in the long run, you will get back into a normal routine when the underlying stress is lifted.
-Try not to take sleeping pills. I know when you are desperate you will try anything but they really do more harm than good
-Valerian really does help to relax me when I'm extremely stressed out and in a vicious cycle
-Try to keep your routine regular as possible
-If you can't fall asleep don't put pressure on yourself to sleep. I know this is so hard but from a CBT point of view it's best to accept that sometimes you will find it hard to sleep. audiobooks and podcasts are the best for moving your mind onto something else and you might even fall asleep as you listen.
Ultimately there are times in life when you will find it hard to sleep. Even if you don't think you are stressed, I believe that insomnia is generally caused by underlying stress. Trying not to put any pressure on yourself to sleep will help in the long run, you will get back into a normal routine when the underlying stress is lifted.
Podcasts are an insomniac's best friend
Some men are dicks!!
Is anyone else just bleeping bored and frustrated?! I can’t even stand the sight of my OH at the moment. We’ve pretty much been in constant lockdown since October, we both WFH and have done since March. I am honestly so desperate to see other faces! I’m so sick of him that feeling sexy is a struggle. We still have cuddles and stuff but seeing him 25/8 is just switching off my libido. He is a lovely human being and couldn’t be a better partner but I literally feel like I’m understanding what seven year itch means recently. I’m hoping it’s just the pandemic and once we’re released it will go back to normal.
I’m just so exhausted fighting my own mental health and being stuck in the cycle of a lack feeling like I’m not doing anything productive or creative with my time. I’ve been unemployed since lockdown began and thought I’d give myself a bit of a chance to be creative and launch a small Kickstarter idea for an event called zinequest as I saw my friends doing it with great success making their own.
Mine has flopped and all I can do is beat myself up and call myself a failure, along on pity-party island. Ive just been comparing myself to them and telling myself that it’s just proof that I’m tit at everything I do and won’t amount to anything because not even Asda will employ me. I feel awful for resenting my friends for doing well when I didn’t, but I’m also so bloody proud of them. The constant conflict is messing with me for sure.
I just needed to vent that out, not really expecting anyone to offer advice.
Mine has flopped and all I can do is beat myself up and call myself a failure, along on pity-party island. Ive just been comparing myself to them and telling myself that it’s just proof that I’m tit at everything I do and won’t amount to anything because not even Asda will employ me. I feel awful for resenting my friends for doing well when I didn’t, but I’m also so bloody proud of them. The constant conflict is messing with me for sure.
I just needed to vent that out, not really expecting anyone to offer advice.
You're spot on there, I think it's extraordinary that IG is showing couples all loved up. I actually can't stand my OH at the moment. I'd prefer to chew my own leg off rather that have sex. I have friends that think it's great being home all the time, have a sneaky lunchtime shag, afternoon sex. Me, I can barely shower, my hair is like an untamed birds nest, moustache gets plucked as needed and eyebrows are like untamed world. YES I feel sexy NOT. Couldn't be bothered.
What is the Kickstarter idea? Maybe we can help
Yeah definitely. Same situation with the constant lockdowns - it wasn't ever really lifted where I live, aside from July-September. I feel like I'm snapping at him for no reason and that's not how I was before this. He was playing games with some friends last night and was on voice chat so I felt like I had to sit in silence for hours. I'd usually have gone out to see a friend or go to the gym, generally just not be in the house and have a bit of space, but I can't. It's not his fault though, he hasn't done anything wrong. I feel you, it's so frustrating.
It was a tongue-in-cheek fantasy/witch tattle magazine, for people that play Dungeons & Dragons etc.
I don’t know if I’ve understood this bit correctly, but if so, I can really relate. For me, it’s more in the personal life “success” sphere than professional, but right now my personal life is downright challenging and my friends just seem to have it so, so easy. More than easy - positively rosy and luxurious and abundant. I feel conflicted all the time because I love them and I want happiness and ease for them, but if I’m totally honest, I feel bitter and resentful sometimes (a lot of the time) that things aren’t going so well for me and that my situation is so difficult in comparison. It makes me feel like they have no idea how hard things can be. It makes me feel isolated from them. Then I feel like a bad person and bad friend. Even though I know I’m a good friend to them deep down. It’s a headfuck.
I don’t have advice as such, but if I’ve understood what you meant, I can just tell you you’re not the only one feeling those conflicting feelings. Sometimes it helps just knowing you’re not alone. Sending you hugs.
Feeling so lonely and my "best friend" keeps ignoring me and leaving me on delivered for days on end and it feels like she barely cares about me anymore. I'd actually just be more relieved if she was honest with me and told me she wasn't interested in being friends anymore rather than this torturous method of giving me crumbs and making me feel like utter tit. It's stressing me out so much and making me feel like crap
my partners amazing and I’m just pushing him away with my erratic behaviour. He does so much cooking and cleaning (more than I do) & I’m so ungrateful. I feel so trapped in my life, my maternity leave is almost over and our bank accounts are running on empty (partner was made redundant lockdown 1 & has been on furlough since November). We keep arguing over nothing and when I say we ... I mean I get annoyed and have a go at him. Tonight I got so annoyed over nothing I threw my pasta at him. It sounds so ridiculous but I’m so ashamed, I feel like he deserves to be treated so much better than this. Then I get upset and he comforts me.
I think the writings on the wall as to what is happening & I think I should leave to stop this behaviour. He doesn’t want me to and I think he tries to cover up my outbursts. We have a baby and I’m so worried about everything. I’ve referred myself for help with my mental health. I know people aren’t going to take kindly to this ‘rant’, I know it’s totally unacceptable how I’m behaving, I barely recognise myself.
I just had so much to rant about & didn't know where to start I thought I’d start with now. I’ve never posted on something like this before but I’m just so lost.
I think the writings on the wall as to what is happening & I think I should leave to stop this behaviour. He doesn’t want me to and I think he tries to cover up my outbursts. We have a baby and I’m so worried about everything. I’ve referred myself for help with my mental health. I know people aren’t going to take kindly to this ‘rant’, I know it’s totally unacceptable how I’m behaving, I barely recognise myself.
I just had so much to rant about & didn't know where to start I thought I’d start with now. I’ve never posted on something like this before but I’m just so lost.
Didn't want to read and run. Half the battle is recognising negative behaviours and you're taking steps to get help. It will take time but you've taken that first step which is really important. It sounds as though your partner really loves you, don't be afraid to lean on him and be open with him through this process so you can work through it together.
Totally relate, but I think it is somewhat normal with everything going on. Starting to feel guilty as I am very open and honest about my feelings and I do wonder sometimes if me expressing that I am bored of our lives atm is hurtful. It's not so much him that's the problem (which I've explained) it's the wake up, go to work, come home, prep and cook a meal, watch an hours TV, then reading our books in bed then sleep. Day in day out. I get in from work at half 5 and then we're in bed by half 9 because we're both tired, it doesn't leave a lot of time for us to get in some proper quality time. It's really hard and I feel like such a witch for feeling dissatisfied.
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