Support for anyone that needs to vent

[bojobingo]

I'm not really sure where to turn. I've been struggling a lot lately. I've had a family tragedy which seems to have tipped me over the edge. I can't sleep. Barely eating. I don't get it. I can function okay whilst working and obviously I'm okay to be on tattle. It is like right now I can put on my brave face and put it to one side? I just can't relax to sleep at night. I was feeling overwhelmed last weekend and now a big event has happened I've kinda shut down. Feeling myself irrationally upset but then is it irrational? I have tried talking to my husband but he doesn't understand. He doesn't want to understand.
I don't have privacy to talk to someone on the phone. I tried talking to my dad but he doesn't want to discuss it. My mum is busy making it about herself. I'm reluctant to talk to my doctor as she isn't very good. I previously told her about a death in my family and she said that is life and I should listen to an audiobook. She has been incredibly insensitive about a skin condition I have. I also don't want anything on file to go against future plans (if that makes sense?).
What can I do?

If you don’t feel comfortable speaking to your GP, you can self refer for access to talking therapies through the NHS. This can be done online and makes it initially easier to start the process.
I had a similar issue with my GP recommending I speak to a friend.

 

[jackolantern]

Just ranting really, not expecting any life changing advice but if anyone has any feel free to send it my way lol!

I'm 28 and I literally have no freeking idea what I am doing or how I got here. I have so many good things in my life and I am so appreciative for them, honestly I am. But I am not where I want to be in other ways and I just have no idea how to get there. I feel so overwhelmed everyday of my life and like I am just trying to "survive" every day. I have crippling anxiety (mainly health related) that has honestly ruined my life for years now, I have two degrees that I wasted my time with because I have no interest in the field and I am instead, stuck in a dead end job and constantly struggling with money, my partner is also. All the things we want from life, a home, a family etc just seem so utterly unachievable. We can't even get out of the debt we are in nevermind save up for a deposit and as much as I desperately want a baby, it feels so selfish doing so when we aren't in a stable, financial position. But I'm also constantly worried about my age, I'm not at all saying you can't have children at an older age, but I've been in this position for 5+ years now and it hasn't improved, so I worry that theme will continue. I also have alot of hormonal conditions so there's the huge worry that I will struggle fertility wise and I have to be conscious that even if I started to try now it could take a very long time and that's just for the first baby.

I just feel like I'm drowning and the amount of conversations we've had on "crisis talks" and how to get out of our pit is maddening. Please tell me I'm not alone!

 

[beastofburden]

Just ranting really, not expecting any life changing advice but if anyone has any feel free to send it my way lol!

I'm 28 and I literally have no freeking idea what I am doing or how I got here. I have so many good things in my life and I am so appreciative for them, honestly I am. But I am not where I want to be in other ways and I just have no idea how to get there. I feel so overwhelmed everyday of my life and like I am just trying to "survive" every day. I have crippling anxiety (mainly health related) that has honestly ruined my life for years now, I have two degrees that I wasted my time with because I have no interest in the field and I am instead, stuck in a dead end job and constantly struggling with money, my partner is also. All the things we want from life, a home, a family etc just seem so utterly unachievable. We can't even get out of the debt we are in nevermind save up for a deposit and as much as I desperately want a baby, it feels so selfish doing so when we aren't in a stable, financial position. But I'm also constantly worried about my age, I'm not at all saying you can't have children at an older age, but I've been in this position for 5+ years now and it hasn't improved, so I worry that theme will continue. I also have alot of hormonal conditions so there's the huge worry that I will struggle fertility wise and I have to be conscious that even if I started to try now it could take a very long time and that's just for the first baby.

I just feel like I'm drowning and the amount of conversations we've had on "crisis talks" and how to get out of our pit is maddening. Please tell me I'm not alone!

I am a fair bit younger than you, and well, I messed up my life a bit by not really doing anything with it and cutting myself off from friends, etc. But slowly things have gotten MUCH better, like really a lot better.

You could do to try a technique of writing down on actual paper, what it is you'd like from life - literally anything, don't limit yourself on it. Then write for each point how you could get to those goals, and keep it around, it might sound juvenile, but it can help rearrange your thoughts. Life can seem overpowering, and it is overpowering really, but if you ask for help someone might offer you it.

Speaking to your GP could help with the hormone issues and anxiety, financial issues are a little bit more complex, but if you can replace specific joys or things you buy with cheaper alternatives, that would be a start. It's a corny saying but the pennies=pounds.

Also do some brainstorming with your partner, maybe even get your mother or his to help, make it clear you want this to change, and tell yourself it will change. Because if you start making even the tiniest change - life does change, all these little things are the tiny strokes that make up the big picture of life.

<3

 

[ChampagneBox]

Sat here in the dark realising how lonely I am. I think I'm too lonely to even be able to sleep. Just thinking about how tit things have gotten, how did we get to this point, a year in lockdown? I literally have no one. Lockdowns got me ruminating over my past and I don’t even want to see my parents any more. I have like 2 friends and no desire to make new ones, the other friends I used to have fucked their chances of friendship by treating me like tit. Nothing stimulates my brain anymore, every day is the same day in day out and yes it’s up to me to get out and go for a walk but to where? For what purpose? Just finished binge watching a tv show for the first time and now it’s over I’m flat, depressed, lost. Not looking for advice as such, just want to tell another person how sad I am dreading waking up tomorrow to do the same job with the same inane conversations, the same boring work...every morning for the last few months the first few seconds after waking I’m not in my body, I almost forget where and who I am. Not sure when it got this bad, I thought I was coping okay and then Christmas came which was the first holiday time off I had all year last year, but we had COVID and some other stuff went on and it was horrific. I don’t think I’ve been right since, but then again I haven’t been right since 2018. I haven’t genuinely laughed or been genuinely happy since 2018...everything is scary, everything is a challenge, everything is serious and I don’t know how to loosen up.

 

[beastofburden]

Sat here in the dark realising how lonely I am. I think I'm too lonely to even be able to sleep. Just thinking about how tit things have gotten, how did we get to this point, a year in lockdown? I literally have no one. Lockdowns got me ruminating over my past and I don’t even want to see my parents any more. I have like 2 friends and no desire to make new ones, the other friends I used to have fucked their chances of friendship by treating me like tit. Nothing stimulates my brain anymore, every day is the same day in day out and yes it’s up to me to get out and go for a walk but to where? For what purpose? Just finished binge watching a tv show for the first time and now it’s over I’m flat, depressed, lost. Not looking for advice as such, just want to tell another person how sad I am dreading waking up tomorrow to do the same job with the same inane conversations, the same boring work...every morning for the last few months the first few seconds after waking I’m not in my body, I almost forget where and who I am. Not sure when it got this bad, I thought I was coping okay and then Christmas came which was the first holiday time off I had all year last year, but we had COVID and some other stuff went on and it was horrific. I don’t think I’ve been right since, but then again I haven’t been right since 2018. I haven’t genuinely laughed or been genuinely happy since 2018...everything is scary, everything is a challenge, everything is serious and I don’t know how to loosen up.

Have you thought about changing even something tiny? Different route to work? different lunch? COVID has got us all stuck in a bit of a loop, and it can be easy to break it up a bit.

Also we all are technically lonely, we are the only people we know completely, even we project ourselves differently and see others projections.

I saw your post on a daydreaming thread, i think. Have you spoken to your GP? it sounds like you are struggling a bit and that is fine, but you need to get in the position for someone to help you...

You sound depressed as duck, i won't sugar coat it.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Sat here in the dark realising how lonely I am. I think I'm too lonely to even be able to sleep. Just thinking about how tit things have gotten, how did we get to this point, a year in lockdown? I literally have no one. Lockdowns got me ruminating over my past and I don’t even want to see my parents any more. I have like 2 friends and no desire to make new ones, the other friends I used to have fucked their chances of friendship by treating me like tit. Nothing stimulates my brain anymore, every day is the same day in day out and yes it’s up to me to get out and go for a walk but to where? For what purpose? Just finished binge watching a tv show for the first time and now it’s over I’m flat, depressed, lost. Not looking for advice as such, just want to tell another person how sad I am dreading waking up tomorrow to do the same job with the same inane conversations, the same boring work...every morning for the last few months the first few seconds after waking I’m not in my body, I almost forget where and who I am. Not sure when it got this bad, I thought I was coping okay and then Christmas came which was the first holiday time off I had all year last year, but we had COVID and some other stuff went on and it was horrific. I don’t think I’ve been right since, but then again I haven’t been right since 2018. I haven’t genuinely laughed or been genuinely happy since 2018...everything is scary, everything is a challenge, everything is serious and I don’t know how to loosen up.

You sound so sad and depressed. I'm so sorry. The lack of interest in things and general sense of hopelessness and pointlessness really points toward depression. Obviously I am no expert but can you see a doctor? A course of anti depressants may help you. Get you through this difficult trough.
I really really wish you well.

 

[jackolantern]

I am a fair bit younger than you, and well, I messed up my life a bit by not really doing anything with it and cutting myself off from friends, etc. But slowly things have gotten MUCH better, like really a lot better.

You could do to try a technique of writing down on actual paper, what it is you'd like from life - literally anything, don't limit yourself on it. Then write for each point how you could get to those goals, and keep it around, it might sound juvenile, but it can help rearrange your thoughts. Life can seem overpowering, and it is overpowering really, but if you ask for help someone might offer you it.

Speaking to your GP could help with the hormone issues and anxiety, financial issues are a little bit more complex, but if you can replace specific joys or things you buy with cheaper alternatives, that would be a start. It's a corny saying but the pennies=pounds.

Also do some brainstorming with your partner, maybe even get your mother or his to help, make it clear you want this to change, and tell yourself it will change. Because if you start making even the tiniest change - life does change, all these little things are the tiny strokes that make up the big picture of life.

<3

I'm glad to hear things are better for you now I really appreciate the suggestions, unfortunately it's kind of all a been there done that, got the t-shirt now for me lol. Things have been like this for a long time now so there isn't really many things I haven't tried, I guess that's why I was just ranting really

 

[ChampagneBox]

Thankyou @beastofburden and @Jelly Bean I might try and go for a walk after work to get out the house and change my routine a bit And then I’m going to try and find something new on Netflix to watch

 

[RoseBush23]

Such a good idea! Thank you!

My best friend isn’t very well I don’t know how to say it but it’s like she never likes my Instagram posts or anything! She likes celebrities etc but never mine! I’ve asked about it and she just says sometimes she just doesn’t see them. I know I sound petty but your friends are meant to big you up!

 

[jackolantern]

Thankyou @beastofburden and @Jelly Bean I might try and go for a walk after work to get out the house and change my routine a bit And then I’m going to try and find something new on Netflix to watch

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling so low One tip I would have that might be worth a try and one of the best things that helps me is to have a dance to just one song a day (any you like!) or even more if you stay in the mood. It really helps me release some endorphins and tension I usually end up doing about 10 minutes in the end but just the one on days I feel less like it. A lady on TikTok recommended it and I've honestly found it really helpful. Hopefully it will offer you something too

 

[ChampagneBox]

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling so low One tip I would have that might be worth a try and one of the best things that helps me is to have a dance to just one song a day (any you like!) or even more if you stay in the mood. It really helps me release some endorphins and tension I usually end up doing about 10 minutes in the end but just the one on days I feel less like it. A lady on TikTok recommended it and I've honestly found it really helpful. Hopefully it will offer you something too

Thanks! I do dance around all day at work because I have a standing desk and put my headphones in I only listened to upbeat music today and I’m feeling a bit better after going for a walk after work, I forgot how nice the outside world is x

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

It’s my birthday, and all I’ve done since I woke up is feel pissed off and cry. Second time my birthday has been ruined because of the pandemic. This birthday is meant to be a ‘special’ one too. It’s not even that I want a huge party or anything, but I’d like to be able to maybe go out for a meal with my partner and kids or something. Instead I just feel horrifically depressed. My partner has taken the day off work to be with me today, but all I’ve done is yell and tell him to duck off. Now I’m sat in my bedroom alone wishing I wasn’t here.

 

[LittleMy]

It’s my birthday, and all I’ve done since I woke up is feel pissed off and cry. Second time my birthday has been ruined because of the pandemic. This birthday is meant to be a ‘special’ one too. It’s not even that I want a huge party or anything, but I’d like to be able to maybe go out for a meal with my partner and kids or something. Instead I just feel horrifically depressed. My partner has taken the day off work to be with me today, but all I’ve done is yell and tell him to duck off. Now I’m sat in my bedroom alone wishing I wasn’t here.

I don’t have any advice to give (the pandemic sucks) but couldn’t read and run.

I hope brighter days are ahead, it’s been so difficult and it’s no wonder you’re feeling this way.

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

I don’t have any advice to give (the pandemic sucks) but couldn’t read and run.

I hope brighter days are ahead, it’s been so difficult and it’s no wonder you’re feeling this way.

Thank you this means a lot. I’m not usually one to make a huge thing out of birthdays but not even being able to do basic stuff like seeing family or going out for dinner is just too much.

 

[ChampagneBox]

It’s my birthday, and all I’ve done since I woke up is feel pissed off and cry. Second time my birthday has been ruined because of the pandemic. This birthday is meant to be a ‘special’ one too. It’s not even that I want a huge party or anything, but I’d like to be able to maybe go out for a meal with my partner and kids or something. Instead I just feel horrifically depressed. My partner has taken the day off work to be with me today, but all I’ve done is yell and tell him to duck off. Now I’m sat in my bedroom alone wishing I wasn’t here.

This made me cry So sorry you’re feeling this way I wish I could give you a hug! I haven’t got an specific advice because I’m feeling exactly the same

I feel like I’ve exhausted everything that has stimulated my brain for months. First it was furlough with my BF, it was nice and then I came back to work and now work isn’t enough to occupy me, music isn’t enough, I’ve exhausted everything on telly and like I’ve said in the daydreaming thread I started watching a K drama and it was so intense I was watching it from when I finished work to bedtime and staying up till midnight to watch it and now it’s over and I feel lost and depressed and that was the first thing in months I felt stimulated by. Even weekends when my BF is back from work are no good these days, we go food shopping and then we’re both just on our tablets and phones all day every day I love you all on tattle but even this isn’t stimulating me anymore and there’s only so many walks I can go on to the same places

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

This made me cry So sorry you’re feeling this way I wish I could give you a hug! I haven’t got an specific advice because I’m feeling exactly the same x

Thank you. Sorry you are feeling awful too. Hope we both feel better soon x

 

[ChampagneBox]

Thank you. Sorry you are feeling awful too. Hope we both feel better soon x

I know brighter days are ahead. Just hold on a few more months and we’ll look back on this and feel sad at how lost we were but we’ll be in a better place by then, I know it

 

[LittleMy]

Thank you this means a lot. I’m not usually one to make a huge thing out of birthdays but not even being able to do basic stuff like seeing family or going out for dinner is just too much.

It is too much. It just feels never ending. But it will end, and hopefully soon.

I know how you feel, I had my birthday in February and although I’m not big on celebrating them either, it was sad to not be able to just have the freedom to go for a meal out or just whatever I wanted to do on a whim. It’s been a year of this, I think it’s ok to admit that it’s been hard. You’ve been doing so well, homeschooling has been tough and you came through it. You’ll come through this too.

 

[ChampagneBox]

I felt better yesterday but today I feel like tit again...I’m getting worried at how much watching that stupid tv show has effected me, I wish I’d never watched it at all it’s all I can think about...is it normal to feel a bit sad when a tv show you’ve enjoyed ends? I’ve never binged a tv show before, it was very intense

 

[jarv]

I felt better yesterday but today I feel like tit again...I’m getting worried at how much watching that stupid tv show has effected me, I wish I’d never watched it at all it’s all I can think about...is it normal to feel a bit sad when a tv show you’ve enjoyed ends? I’ve never binged a tv show before, it was very intense

I get this sometimes after finishing a series or a book I was really invested in. I think if it's something that sparks joy or excitement it can be hard to let go of especially in times like this! I hope you feel bit brighter soon